***Official SSSH LC/NC Thread for December***

[that_pope]

One more month closer until the US players get their FTP rolls back!

[anfernee]

GTFO?!?!
Seriously???

[TrueGamblers4ever]

don't call it a comebackkkkkk

cardiac colts mf'ers

[TrueGamblers4ever]

So, there's somebody that I'm interested in romantically. I'm wondering the amount of distance, both length and time, that would be appropriate for some light stalking. The person in question is the girl that works at Chipotle, in case anybody remembers that. It took me like 2.5 months to go back to that store, and I have no intentions of going about this in a "normal" way, if that makes any sense, and I have no need for advice on what is socially appropriate or whatever. Don't know if this is a clue, but she didn't have any interest in any interaction whatsoever or even handling my order when I got to the front. However, they were really swamped and had many workers, so it could just be variance.

Anyway, I'm thinking I could get away with coming in every third day, and planting myself in a fairly secure location that's about 15 feet away. Ideally, I'd like to gather a bunch of information as to likes/dislikes, religion, and personality.

I'm mainly wondering if there's some ideal time/distance formula for this. A quick online search didn't help too much.

[daiquiri]

[TrueGamblers4ever]

lol

That's fine; I anticipated some trolling

[that_pope]

You mentioned her like 6 months ago. She's probably been through like 3 boyfriends in that timeframe. Hurry up son.



But yeah, I'm sure if she sees you just sitting there every 3 days it won't creep her out one bit.

The whole idea is to ask her out ASAP while she doesn't have any idea of what kind of creeper you are.

The fact that you haven't been back in like 3 months is actually good for you if she randomly remembers you. Next time you come in you can say you remembered her from your last time in and if she would be interested in going out with you.

[TrueGamblers4ever]

Originally Posted by that_pope

You mentioned her like 6 months ago. She's probably been through like 3 boyfriends in that timeframe. Hurry up son.


But yeah, I'm sure if she sees you just sitting there every 3 days it won't creep her out one bit.

Sarcasm I assume, but what if I just really like the food? I mean, I go to the other location roughly 3 times a week, and sit at the same table, and I have no interest in anybody there. Seems legit.

Originally Posted by that_pope

The whole idea is to ask her out ASAP while she doesn't have any idea of what kind of creeper you are.

The fact that you haven't been back in like 3 months is actually good for you if she randomly remembers you. Next time you come in you can say you remembered her from your last time in and if she would be interested in going out with you.

This is probably good advice for most people, but I'm not interested in playing it like this. Regardless, I appreciate your post. Daiquiri could learn some things from you.

There should be equity calcs for stuff like this. Would make it much simpler.

[that_pope]

% she will go out with you = 1 - (0.1(x-2)) + 0.03y + 0.002z

x = times you've been in her store
y = your looks on a scale of 1 to 10
z = dollars you've tipped her (max 100)

[TrueGamblers4ever]

I got .4

so, you're saying there's a chance

[skillgambler]

pics

[codygary12]

You're not gonna find her true personality by watching her work from a distance, nevermind her religious beliefs/world view.

Just ask her out, if she says no, who cares go back to the other chipotle location.

[skillgambler]

Originally Posted by codygary12

You're not gonna find her true personality by watching her work from a distance, nevermind her religious beliefs/world view.

you gotta go through her trash! Maybe she also leaves her car unlocked, freeroll to check, right?

fyp

[Poopadoop]

There's gotta be more creative ways than just trying to eavesdrop at her place of work.

1) Go in with a boom box every day, playing different styles of music. If she starts to dance to one, you know she likes it.

2) Next time you place an order with her, pretend to sneeze. If she says 'God bless you', she's probably a Christian (Bonus: If she says 'Gesundheit', good chance she's German too)

3) Each time you go in, bring a different magazine and leave it behind as you go. Hopefully she will go to clear up your mess and find them. See which ones she takes an interest in. Try to use as wide a variety of mags as possible.

4) Pose as garbage collector. Wait until she's finished a break then get the cup of coffee with her DNA on it and have it tested for the gay gene. (Actually, should probably do this one first.)

5) Go incognito to the store with a personality questionnaire. Explain you're from the local college and are studying for an advanced psychology degree, and your thesis is all about the personality of fast food employees. Try to get others who work there to fill it out too so your cover is kept.

6) You'll need a friend and a fake police badge for this one. After a few trips, figure out which days she has off. Then, go in on one of these days posing as a police officer. Explain that chipotle girl (if you know her name by this time that would be really useful) has been the unfortunate victim of a homocide. See their reactions. Also, interview them for more info about her. Just as your leaving, have your friend crackle in your walkie that there's been a mistake and she's not really dead, it's someone else entirely. See how relieved her co-workers look to further gauge their feelings for her.

[skillgambler]

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

5) Go incognito

actually this will help a lot with your stalking plans. instead of coming in every third day as boring creepy Elo, you can have 2 meals a day there as two different people.

Spoiler: