If the Republican party is dying, so too is the Democratic party, equally. Clearly.

Obama was the big great hope changer, so beloved by the Democrats that elected him, they relected him in 2012. Civil liberties have eroded more, government abuses have increased, the drone war has greatly increased, and all of the significant things that Obama promised during his first campaign, transparency, closing gitmo, gutting the PATRIOT act, ending illegal surveillance, none of it has happened, and the president has been caught lying to the american people about the extent of government surveillance.

Both major parties in the U.S. want to continue down the path of the status quo, at a faster rate, year by year. Neither is representative of the common man, and neither party is good for civil liberties. When all that protects individuals from a government that controls the largest military that has ever existed, and has the greatest power that has ever existed, is ten little crib notes on a piece of paper called the bill of rights, and neither party even pretends to care about the amendments, or the real life implications for individuals who lack the protection of those amendments, it is abundantly clear that BOTH parties are tragically dying, as the United States is dying.


To end this segment, I'm going to post some poll data.



http://articles.latimes.com/2013/jun...-poll-20130612

And the Democratic party died not with a bang, but with the jack booted shuffle of being lock step behind their lying, treasonous leader.

Posting here in unchained, because the fascist, **** mod, partisan hack **** wit wookie locked it in the other forum.

**** off LirvA. The least you could have done is tried to make it look like you learned anything from that thread when making it again.

Don't you have homework to do?

Woot, I consider his second post to be part of the OP so this one gets an extra Lirva bingo point for the inclusion of fascist!

Those first three sentences make it easier for me to see how you managed to get a D in English.

The fact that you have yet to get permabanned should make you rethink your whole "Wookie is a fascist" stance.

Obv just because riverman had sand in his vagina.

How do you not love "big great hope changer"?

It's his use of commas that rustles my jimmies.

I was pretty impressed with:

I want the status quo and I want it faster!

I been drinking, so this may not be quite right, but instead of

how about

I like that much better.

Still needs a lot of work. What's the point of the first sentence? There's no actual follow up to the "Obama was the great hope changer". And you can go further and ask what's the point of the paragraph? There's some arguments being made about something - but its not clear what.

I mean if we are being critical here:

I added some spare full stops underneath. Spread them around, spell check because that isnt how re-election is spelt (a valid English English word btw) and split it into two paragraphs because that should be split into two. Things he did and things he didnt do. I cleaned up some of the language too:

(no endorsement of the content)

Much better. I'd change "more of the same" to be explicit and mention Bush era policies otherwise its not that clear what is being talked about.

Still needs an overall thesis about what is being said about Obama.

I can work on the grammar, but man, no one can fix the content of a LirvA rant.

I'm not sure if I like

or

better. It depends on the venue imo.

Yeah, that is a good direction to close the second paragraph with more of the same Bush 2.0 kinda rhetoric being the overall punch of the piece. That way you get a beginning, middle and end tying it all together.

You kinda need a good zing on hope and change being hopeless and unchanged as a single sentence summation third paragraph to aid skim readers gaining the core detail of the previous parags.

Semicolon in your second version there is objectively wrong.

See LirvA, this is much better. First sentence needs punching up a bit though.

Edit, that works better as an open

would anyone get mad if i just made a thread titled "the (not-so) tragic death of lirva"?

Only one way to find out.

My money goes on suicide by cop, fwiw.

True. How about