Quote:
Originally Posted by thechef
Spank,
I think it's perfectly fair that you object to this thread. It comes across as an excuse to mock and is uncalled for. That said, as probably the closest thing to an impartial observer who may post ITT, I agree that your posts are sometimes very difficult to understand.
It's not your only problem but I think you'd do well to concentrate on being as concise as you can. If you use fewer words, there will be fewer chances for the meaning to go astray. You use too many adjectives and adverbs which make your sentences clunky. If you write your posts out "naturally" and then read back looking for opportunities to simplify, I guarantee you will see an improvement. You just need to look for ways to trim your posts without losing any meaning.
I picked one example to show you what I mean:
"How do think/feel about people asserting their personal boundaries with polite, firm requests?"
becomes
"How do you feel about people politely asserting their boundaries?"
...
Quote:
Originally Posted by thechef
In what sense? This isn't the first time I have posted in PU if that's what you mean.
What motivated me to post that is that this isn't the first time I have seen behaviour that looks a lot like bullying directed at spank. I don't even read this subforum very often but every time I do, there's something like this, and it seems to be relentless. I know bullying when I see it and I don't particularly care if somebody thinks there is some nuance that I am missing.
So, as a counterpoint, I wanted to offer something helpful and constructive. Spank seems to admit that his writing skills leave a lot to be desired. Pulling him up every single time and mocking him helps nobody. Making practical suggestions on how to improve might.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thechef
I've lurked politics for a long time, so I understand how PU came to be. Things are let slide here that would be stamped out elsewhere. I get that.
In real life, there are plenty of things you can do that are wrong but aren't breaking the law, and so it is here. It's become relentless and cruel. It's also not even funny.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thechef
It's really difficult to root for you, spank.
I stuck up for you and gave some sincere, constructive, advice. You give the impression that it's welcome when you make noises in recognition of the problem and suggesting you want to improve. Other posters gave me flak for making that post and they are vindicated because you didn't even acknowledge it. I wasted my time.
If you don't GAF about improving, stop stringing people along by saying that you do. If you did care, I'd think a thread where the topic at hand is your writing style would be the place to make an effort. Instead, your writing here is beyond turgid. I counted a 50 word sentence a few posts ago. 50 words! Are you Jack Kerouac's grandson or something?
I don't like pack behaviour; I think it's ugly and I consciously avoid participating. I can 100% see how you've attracted this behaviour towards yourself, though.
TheChef really accurately portrays how I feel towards Spank, and his accuracy is maintained as he progresses through the thread, and sees that his genuine and potentially helpful advice is outright rejected by Spank, and then Spank seems to intentionally do the opposite as if to prove his "unique language capabilities" cannot be stopped, even by those who are attempting to be kind to him and express sympathy for the bullying he's faced.
Spank, I was a fan of yours before you were modded, you seemed like a decent guy and I figured you'd do a good job as mod. You did for a little bit, but then as more people questioned you, your choice of bans / lack of bans, infractions, deleted threads, and other mods discretion(s), you seemed to go off the deep end. Now, you say you have a mental issue- OK, I empathize and really don't want to see you hurt for that, just like I wouldn't just watch or stand for a blind person or someone with a physical disadvantage being pushed around. You have people in this thread, who spoke kindly to you, of you, and want to help you fit in better, no one is asking you to change who you are at the core of your being, we're simply asking that you work with us to better understand you, in a way that will make this forum easier to read for everybody, and, now that you are a mod again- make your life much easier by creating less clutter and negative vibes.
shout out to Thechef, BriantheMick, and one of the Shametrollies!! for being good guys.
Dids and Dibs, I don't necessarily disagree with your attitude towards Spank, I just think its very unhelpful and you're better off not posting some of the things you post in his direction. As Thechef said, it becomes very hard to support Spank against people who can't hold their tongues (like yourselves) when he continues to kick the beehive.
Spank, for what its worth, I like you man- i bet you're way easier to talk to in real life than here. I'm willing to bet you're a good friend and a good father (unless I my memory fails me, I thought I remembered you saying you have kids),
as a new guy, will you help me help you?
In addition to Thechef's sound advice on sentence structure and verbiage, here's something i've notice you do: You are much too... i'm not sure what word to use here, so i'll use multiple: philosophical, psychological, "intellectual", you try to turn so many of your responses and posts into an effort at deciphering the ideas and notions others present in a manner which is simply too complicated to understand,
its as if you are speaking in a 2nd or 3rd tier level manner, to use a poker analogy, and then mixing that 2nd / 3rd tier thinking in with too many words, and a dash of bitterness / contempt for your peers here. What poker players, and you as a poster, often seem to forget is that the vast majority of players / posters are not 2nd or 3rd tier level thinkers, they are barely even 1st level thinkers.
Not asking you to stoop to their level, simply, stop
trying to stand out so much in a place where people will never give you credit for doing so.
Its up to you to help yourself Spank- if you don't enjoy the harassment you receive, you could take a moment to self reflect on your communication and how you could improve. Most the people posting here are doing so (whether they choose to admit it or not) because they care, on some level.
Good luck