We could exchange critiques... Or just listen to each other and hopefully catch some inspiration from one another.

I finished these tracks while 2p2 was down. Hope I can stay productive now that it's back but we'll see...

Sob Story - Pop/Rock
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11634516

My Shoes (Don't Do Them) - Psychedelic/Alternative/Blues
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11617483

Hopeless - Acoustic Folk/Pop
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11599911

This thread might already have the topic covered. I like the idea none the less though. I'll have to leave soon and don't have time to listen to your songs yet, so to actually add something to the topic - and hopefully get some feedback as well - here's what I've been working on on and off for the past 8 hours or so.

Not me playing btw, just clicking in notes, and I'm still in the middle of it so velocities/mixing/etc. are a little rough/non-existent/incomplete at times.

Back with more time. Given the thread title, I'm not going to comment on the performances or mixes unless I think they might have an effect on my impression of the writing.

Sob Story: First off the thing I like the least, which is the lyrics. Personally I think I'd like them to go a little more in the funny direction because as it is it feels a little too much like you're actually whining about other people whining, which I'm not a huge fan of.

With that out of the way, I think the chords/melodic lines for most of the song are very solid.

There are some notes in the ba-pa-pa-da-da-da part at 2:03-2:18 or so that could be improved upon imo. Unfortunately my ears are not trained enough with this type of thing to get into much detail, but I'm talking about the interval that ends with the note at 2:07-2:08 and the one ending with the note at 2:14.

I'd say it's a matter of parallel 5ths or something in a similar vein but I'm very used to having 1) a visual aid in the form of a piano roll and 2) the ability to move notes around to hear what works, so it really isn't more than a guess. If you don't mind I'd definitely be interested in seeing that part written down so I could play around with it a little (and post the results if you're interested).

Other than the two things above, the only thing that gets in the way of me wanting to listen to this again is a lack of originality. The melody/harmony doesn't really give me any sense of personal expression and I feel like if I'd want to listen to something like this I'd be better off just putting on Morning Glory. A lot of that might be changed by stronger lyrics and a stronger vocal performance though, and possibly a different arrangement that moves the song away from that musical territory a bit.

My Shoes (Don't Do Them):

The parts in isolation sound solid to me but I'm left wanting something central to carry the track along and grab my attention. As it is, it sort of feels like all the elements of the song are backing something that isn't there. A strong melodic line could really pull all of the parts together imo.

Hopeless:

I think you need much stronger vocals (not as much technically as stylistically/emotionally, though the former definitely wouldn't hurt obviously) and lyrics here, as they tend to be what really drive this type of track unless the melody and/or harmony are really exceptional.

My overall impressions are:

1) You should definitely keep creating, experimenting and improving because there's something there waiting to take form.

2) You should try really pouring yourself into your music. I know that's easier said than done but given the type of music you seem to enjoy making it really is a huge factor imo. All 3 of these songs seemed like they leaned towards being exercises in different styles rather than a way of expressing who you are and how you feel.

3) If you don't already, I'd strongly suggest focusing on trying to have as strong of a central melodic idea as possible before putting a single word or chord in the song. Even if it's not your preferred way of writing or you outright dislike it, doing it as an exercise - in the same way you'd practice scales and chords on an instrument, which not too many people like - can be very beneficial.

If you get stuck while writing melodies I'd really recommend looking into counterpoint if you haven't already. I'm about to start a theory thread where I'll post a link to a youtube series about it that really helped some things fall into place for me.

I'm looking forward to hearing some new stuff from you down the road and hope some of the above was useful.

Yeah that was very much appreciated. Thanks for taking all that time for me. I'll not be a stranger around these parts. I listened to your track, the violin stuff was really cool. Is that a synth or a real stringed instrument?

I'm glad to have been of some help. Doing stuff like this is an awesome exercise for me and I'd also really like to see this forum grow, so I'll try to be pretty active here too.

Also glad you liked the violin stuff. All the instruments in the song are sample based virtual instruments. The strings are from Miroslav Philharmonik Classik Edition by IK Multimedia. It's a light version that I got really cheap at some point last year. The very limited articulations can be a bit annoying sometimes but most of the time it's easy enough to at least get ideas through with it.

Still a noob at learning how to make music so bear with me, song really kicks in around the 1:50 mark
http://soundcloud.com/ryan-terrana-1/rabbit-ears-pass

Counting Crows "Colorblind" cover
http://soundcloud.com/ryan-terrana-1...ingcrows-cover

RT - Top song is cool. You said something about swiping the chord progression from somewhere? It's probably a lot more places than you realize! Nothin but primary chords and the relative minor. Surprised to hear it is a work in progress because it sounds pretty done to me!

I like your lyrics, but your rhyme scheme is kind of odd. Is this intentional? You might try to take a couple of the rhymes out if you were looking for a more free-verse style, because I grab onto them and then want them to settle into a more solid structure. I like wanna-Nirvana-wanna tying the first verse to the chorus, but if you're going to do that the structure should come back in the second.

I don't think the Ben Folds-style ba-ba-ba goes very well with the rest of the song, or with the guitar part that comes immediately after it. Maybe it could work into the song if the main piano part were to become more complex, but the guitar really kills it for me.

I think it's good, though, there's a real song in there and it's not too far from the surface.

Eh, too minimalist for me.

I really want the tempo to pick up on the fourth line of the verses rather than the fifth. And I want another verse instead of/after the la-la-las. I like the Perishers-esque sound (though I wouldn't call it folk) and the lyrics are a little cliched but fine. I think if you gave it a third verse with a little more unique personality in the lyrics that would improve it a lot.

I hope it stays, cause I'm totally a librettist rather than a composer, so there doesn't seem to be much room for me there. I can throw a 1-4-5 together but not much beyond that. But hey, it worked for Woody Guthrie.

So I don't have anything to say about yours, it not having lyrics, sorry.

Yeah I'm not really sure exactly where the line is generally drawn between song writing and composition. I just know there are some songs in that thread I'd expect to have been posted in this one instead, had both threads been around when they were posted, and nobody seems to have minded that.

In my limited experience, 1-4-5 can go a long way as long as you mix things up a little and make some stops along the way. Maybe my opinion on that is already sort of obvious though, given that what I posted above is basically just i-V over and over with some detours along the way and doesn't really go beyond 2 voices until the last 30 seconds.

Hey Tapir. Thanks for the listen and the words (obviously). As far as schemes and whatnot goes, nothing was really intentional there. The lyrics in sob story came out really naturally and I liked the quirkiness to them. Chalk it up to subjectivity.

145 is the best. don't forget about 6. Sob story is only 1,4,5 and 6. Hopeless is the same. Shoes is a bit random and that one is another that wrote itself. I don't like having to work too much on writing. if something comes out of me that feels good I try to just remember that instead of the specifics.

I've got tons of more songs written that I haven't recorded yet. All these tracks are done at home and I'm playing all the instruments. It takes time... Especially when I tend to work on 3-5 songs at a time.

Radiohead Creep cover I recorded on the piano today....want some feedback on if I should leave the strings in for the chorus.

http://soundcloud.com/ryan-terrana-1...ep-piano-cover

I wasn't a fan of the strings bc of the abrupt intro and outro of them and they didn't sound as good as your piano sound but I feel like you need a little something there just not sure what. Good job though!

Here's my latest.
http://www.soundclick.com/player/sin...&q=hi&newref=1

Hey lounging I listened to maybe half of that.. I assume you're new to writing and recording. You should check out the soundclick forums. There is a subforum called 'critics corner' and they have contests every month where users comment and vote on other's work. It's the best way I've found to get views on your page and some good constructive criticism.

That has to be a level.

that. is. awesome!!!!

What a rough crowd! lol Thanks for checking my song out.

Thanks jmitchell42. I'm glad you liked it.

Moo: I started writing last summer. I have 2 or 3 other songs on the forum under the username PrettyVacant. After the big shutdown I was unable to get a new password. I lurk the SoundClick forums but I haven't joined. I belong to another songwriter forum. I checked out your stuff from your first post. The quality on those songs is amazing. It's much better than some of the cds I have. Nice work.

I'll bring the good times, you bring the snacks

...no doubt about it, we're gonna relax


LOL Had quite a good time listening to that song, level or not

Hey Lounging, which is the other forum you peruse? Good songwriting forums are hard to find. Harmony Central frowns on people posting their own stuff in the songwriting forum (which i find ******ed) and many other ones just don't have any activity. I saw one were all the threads had no more than 2 replies.

SC is pretty slow but the monthly contests are worth while if you can invest the time in them. There are some solid writers over there and it's a good crowd to be in for the most part.

Also thanks for checking out the toonz.

I joined this one: http://www.thesongwritersforum.com/forum/ It was the first one I found that didn't look like a ghost town.

It isn't bad. The people are friendly. Most of the regulars are knowledgeable. You'll have to sign up if you want to see most of the content on there. Tell them HankTheTank sent you! lol

I see that SC forums have a contest going on right now. That does look fun. I'll have to sign up.

I did another one.. more are on the way too. Let me know what you think? Post more!

Skull Killers - http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11769619

That's certainly a barrage of styles. I'm not sure I buy them together, and the lyrics don't give me a clue to what you're trying to express with the musical contrast. I'd really like to poke at your process for creating this song, cause I feel like there's something going on that isn't getting to the final result.

I have a couple things ready to record and post, and was going to do that this week, but then I hurt my wrist. It seems to be healing well but needs a few more days.

Good stuff moo buckets. The verses kind of have an '80s feel but the chorus is kind of classic punk. I couldn't tell you what the song is about but I like the way it sounded.

Here's my latest. I don't care much for social commentary songs because they seem so preachy but I wanted to write one. I've been working on my singing and music production. I think I did a little better than the last one I posted on here.

http://www.soundclick.com/player/sin...&q=hi&newref=1

At first I wanted to stop it. I don't know why I let it play till the end, but I did. I like **** like Half Man Half Biscuit, which this reminded me of, although his lyrics are much more clever than these.

On your social commentary song. Em again, I don't like the lyrics. If they said something interesting, or maybe the same thing in an interesting way, I might like it.

Try different guitar sounds too, although for some reason I kind of like the combination of your vocals and guitar.

Lyrics seem to obvious and lacking in real substance though.