Hi Timelady, I enjoyed this performance. Here are some suggestions.
The one thing that needs improving the most here is sense of flow. I'd recommend two things:
Lots of metronome practice, starting REALLY, REALLY slow. So slow it sets your nerves on edge. Increasing by really small increments.
Chop the piece up into tiny chunks, never starting on the downbeat. Always start on a note or figure (or just prior to a jump) that 'leads in' to the start of the next 'bit'. As you piece the chunks together into larger chunks, keep this in mind at all times. Your brain is constantly thinking 'end of this bit, now start of next bit'. You want to identify those spots and start each practice chunk with that end bit and lead through.
Also your pedalling is quite erratic. Funnily enough the best thing for that is to
usually practice without pedal. What this does is a) allows you to get the notes so well under your fingers that when you do add pedal you are able to concentrate on it specifically and b) tunes your ears in to what you would
like the pedal to be doing, particularly wrt held bass notes and smoothing over leaps. Also your phraseology will be much improved - it's easy to get lazy with legato, bass note dynamics and melodic continuity by 'hiding' behind the pedal. Finally, remember to actually practice your pedalling! If a note that is supposed to sustain is getting cut short, stop and practice that little bit just the same as you would if you were catching a wrong note.
Hope this helps