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Old 12-29-2011, 08:31 PM   #48751
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Re: Official WrestleMania Thread

Some classic Onion

IOC Clears Pros To Wrestle In 2000 Olympics

LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND—International Olympic Committee president Juan Antonio Samaranch announced Monday that, for the first time ever, professionals will be permitted to compete in wrestling in the 2000 Summer Games in Sydney, Australia.

IOC president Juan Antonio Samaranch
"The time has come for the best wrestlers to come together and compete against one another on the world stage," Samaranch said. "This is the true Olympic spirit.

The U.S. Olympic wrestling team, which was badly beaten by Russia and the Ukraine in the '92 and '96 Games, is expected to be the biggest beneficiary of the rule change. Already, a number of high-profile U.S. pros have filed requests with the USOC to compete in Sydney, including Vader, Disco Inferno, Golddust and The Undertaker.

WWF star Jerry "The King" Lawler, who plans to compete in Sydney in the Greco-Roman 286-pound class, is eager to face reigning Olympic champion Aleksandr Karelin of Russia, who took the gold medal in Atlanta in 1996.
"Mr. Karelin, I have heard you talk long and loud about your strength, your stamina and your many so-called pins," said a visibly angry Lawler, his face still damp with perspiration following a match against Stone Cold Steve Austin. "But when you get in my ring, you are dealing with the King. Get ready to come face-to-face with real wrestling, Mr. Karelin. Real, professional, American wrestling. It's going to be lights-out for you, pal, in Sydney." Lawler added that, upon victory, he will shave Karelin bald.

Former Undertaker manager Paul Bearer, now managing Kane, told reporters: "This is a very exciting development for the Federaaaaaa-tion, and I know that not only Kane, but all wrestlers who qualify for the Games, will be honored to represent the U.S. in Syyyyyyd-ney."
Added Bearer: "Ohhhhhhhhhh, yeeeeeesssssss!"
Despite the excitement among U.S. pros, many observers are critical of the IOC decision, contending that it will result in unfair, severely lopsided victories for Team USA, similar to those of the basketball "Dream Team" in the last two Summer Olympics.

"It is unlikely that any foreign wrestler, professional or amateur, will be able to match the top-rope, turnbuckle-smashing, pile-driving force of the WWF's army of pain," said sports columnist Mitch Albom of The Detroit Free Press. "We're talking Cactus Jack, Dude Love, The Headbangers and the Legion of Doom. No other nation on earth, with the possible exception of Saudi Arabia, which has the Iron Sheik and Farrooq, can match that.

IOC officials have still not announced whether supernaturally powered wrestler The Undertaker will be permitted to use his Tombstone Piledriver finishing move in international competition.
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Old 12-29-2011, 08:57 PM   #48752
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Re: Official WrestleMania Thread

Reminds me of the South Park wrestling episode. Only like 9 years earlier.

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now Phill is throwing this perpetual invocation of WWE's apparent "long-term vision" (apparently being revived for the first time since the late 80's)
Close. The long term vision has been perpetual, my invocation is what has been revived for the first time sine the late 80s. Ill let others elaborate.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:03 PM   #48753
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Re: Official WrestleMania Thread

Yes others, please elaborate since I'm very confused.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:07 PM   #48754
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Re: Official WrestleMania Thread

ok i get it now. also Razor isn't getting enough love.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:11 PM   #48755
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Re: Official WrestleMania Thread

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ok i get it now. also Razor isn't getting enough love.
Lolled but didn't feel compelled to say anything.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:14 PM   #48756
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Re: Official WrestleMania Thread

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ok i get it now.
LET ME IN ON THE SECRET.

Last edited by LKJ; 12-29-2011 at 09:14 PM. Reason: I almost never watch South Park, if that was my missing piece.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:30 PM   #48757
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Re: Official WrestleMania Thread

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I know most people don't care but what's going on with HHH now? Is he still COO? Does he not care that Johnny Ace is in charge now? Did he really just want to show Nash that he didn't deserve that pop at the RR? It's kinda weird that he hasn't been seen since TLC.
I hate to put a meaningless percentage on it but I am bout 90% sure H's is going to use himself as a transitional champion to move a belt off of Bryan or Punk for Wrestlemania. If anything he has been playing WWE '12 and desperately wants to add to his world title count and sit on the throne one more time since he knows more about "this business" than anyone else. (although the plan could have been to move the title to Randuh Ortuh which is obviously out the window now.)
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:34 PM   #48758
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Re: Official WrestleMania Thread

Lol, you arent really missing anything. It was coincidental that my old post that i quoted yesterday mentioned it, but its mostly a jape about how HHH claims everything was planned in advance and to trust them. It mostly arose recently when i backed that Booker going over Cody isnt ridiculous as part of a larger plan, which as amp iirc pointed out is a defence resting solely on their ability to actually have a larger plan, something they didnt necessarily earn credit enough to justify.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:39 PM   #48759
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Re: Official WrestleMania Thread

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I hate to put a meaningless percentage on it but I am bout 90% sure H's is going to use himself as a transitional champion to move a belt off of Bryan or Punk for Wrestlemania. If anything he has been playing WWE '12 and desperately wants to add to his world title count and sit on the throne one more time since he knows more about "this business" than anyone else. (although the plan could have been to move the title to Randuh Ortuh which is obviously out the window now.)
I wouldnt be surprised if he had pitched the idea, but he wont. Not at this point in the year and not with him wanting Taker at WM which he will probably get due to his unsurpassable skill of nepotism.

Expect to see a WWE title run next year after WM though. Ugh.
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Old 12-29-2011, 10:02 PM   #48760
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Re: Official WrestleMania Thread

i would honestly prefer punk on commentary to punk wrestling full-time. srsly

as far as all this ratings talk goes u can't possibly understate how much lawler and cole are KILLLLLLLLLLLLING the product on-screen. they're not even commentating on what's going on, they're constantly bantering about nothing. and it's not the good kind of bantering about nothing, it's just constant burial gibberish. they're both SOOOOOOOOOOOO bad at what they do that if not for this thread i wouldn't be watching any of this on those 2 alone. it's hard to get behind any up and comer when them being on screen is paired up with these 2 mongoloids and their audio aids forcing you to change the channel every other second
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Old 12-29-2011, 10:04 PM   #48761
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Re: Official WrestleMania Thread

I also don't buy this failed drug test thing for Ortuh. I think it is most likely he is actually hurt and following that the next scenario is he gets the biggest pop at the RR in his hometown after being ruled out.
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Old 12-29-2011, 10:14 PM   #48762
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I also don't buy this failed drug test thing for Ortuh. I think it is most likely he is actually hurt and following that the next scenario is he gets the biggest pop at the RR in his hometown after being ruled out.
Biggest pop? You're forgetting that Nash tweeted that he would be back by then.
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Old 12-29-2011, 10:24 PM   #48763
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Re: Official WrestleMania Thread

Ziggler Gif of the Week

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Old 12-29-2011, 10:27 PM   #48764
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Re: Official WrestleMania Thread

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Biggest pop? You're forgetting that Nash tweeted that he would be back by then.
lol. seriously though, does Nash still not get the people were popping for Diesel/retro gimmick/surprise entry? they would have popped 10x as big for the Godfather + ho train *or* Jericho or pretty much anything.
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Old 12-29-2011, 10:29 PM   #48765
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Re: Official WrestleMania Thread

You're asking for a lot of understanding from a guy who seemingly really did think he was making wrestling fun again.
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