In hindsight, the goofiness of The Undertaker being at a political press conference does make sense given the context that I just didn't put together as I wrote this up. Since the bill was to formally deregulate wrestling as a sport and categorize it as entertainment, the Governor appearing alongside a cartoon character is actually logical.

Post incoming later tonight. Apologies in advance for it practically being a gif-bomb that will surely hurt page load times, but I figured that I shouldn't skimp on imagery in the process of writing up the GOAT match.

WWF WRESTLEMANIA 13



Rosemont, IL

Pretty strong opening video promo to kick the show off. It focuses on not only Undertaker vs. Sid and Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin, but also tonight's Chicago Street Fight, a truly lame match to be getting third billing at WrestleMania. But again, the video does a nice job with what it's got to work with.

Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, and Jim Ross on the call for tonight. There are Spanish and French announce tables set up at ringside as well.

Elimination Match - The Godwinns (w/ Hillbilly Jim) vs. The Headbangers vs. Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon vs. The New Blackjacks: Bold move to kick the show off with a match featuring four teams that aren't over. The Blackjacks get a little extra rub by getting a quick pre-match promo and more focus during their entrance…that effect you see in battle royals where you see "here's ten dudes…and here's one who can actually win!" Don't know if the Blackjacks are winning this though. Henry Godwinn clotheslines Blackjack Bradshaw to the mat, then tags in Thrasher. Bradshaw reverses a whip, hits a big boot, and goes on offense with a pumphandle slam. Tag to Phineas Godwinn, who backdrops Thrasher. Phineas tags Mosh…under the stupid match rules, now it's Thrasher vs. Mosh.

The two Headbangers do participate and trade punches, but then they each get running starts and mosh together before Thrasher tags out to Phil LaFon, and the two double-team LaFon with a double flapjack. LaFon recovers quickly, hitting a snap suplex. Mosh tags in Blackjack Windham, suplex by LaFon gets a two-count, and LaFon tags out to Furnas. Big-time hurracanrana by Furnas.



Windham catches Furnas's follow-up attempt and counters into a powerslam. Windham tags Bradshaw. He misses on a Clothesline from Hell, as a fan on the hard camera side holds up a sign that says, "WHO ARE THESE BUMS?" Furnas dropkicks Bradshaw outside, but when trying to suplex him back in, Windham runs interference and enables Bradshaw to suplex Furnas out. The Blackjacks brawl with Furnas and LaFon outside, and as referee Mike Chioda tries to get things settled down, Bradshaw gets frustrated and shoves him down to cause the obvious DQ. Oh, and apparently Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon got counted out during this sequence? That was a pretty dumb way to eliminate two teams, but okay; we're at Headbangers vs. Godwinns now.

Godwinns hold control for a bit, but after Henry clotheslines Mosh out over the top, he spills out with him, and is actually the slower one to recover. Mosh and Thrasher both take turns hitting moves off the ropes that connect with Godwinn on the apron. Double clothesline by the Headbangers. Thrasher with the big top-rope moonsault attempt that misses. Henry with the hot tag to Phineas. Phineas cleans out Thrasher, goes for the Slop Drop on Mosh, but Thrasher is back in to break it up. Four-way chaos, Mosh with sort of a flying seaten sentan off the top, and he scores the pinfall to take this down.



Result: Headbangers via pinfall
Rating: *1/2

Honky Tonk Man joins the commentary table for the next match.

Intercontinental Title - Rocky Maivia (c) vs. The Sultan: I would sincerely expect Bob "Sparkplug" Holly to get more of a crowd reaction than Rocky gets for his entrance here. You could hear a pin drop as he jogs to the ring. You can see a handful of scattered people sitting and clapping politely for him, but most of the crowd is only doing the "sitting" part.

Rocky and the Sultan stare down, Rock finally throws some punches. And some more punches. Sultan reverses a corner whip, but Rocky bursts out of the corner with a clothesline before dropkicking Sultan out of the ring. He goes out after him, landing a couple of punches but then missing and punching the post. Sultan, now in control, tosses Maivia inside. Sultan eats up a few minutes with some slow-moving power offense. He hits a backbreaker, then a headbutt off the ropes. Even though Rocky isn't over, Sultan gets some decent heat when he taunts the crowd. Belly-to-belly suplex by the challenger, who continually makes really lax pinning attempts that get no more than a two-count.



Long reverse chinlock segment. Rocky finally launches a comeback, working his way to his feet. He and the Sultan then clothesline each other in mid-ring so that they can immediately take another break. Tough to blame them, since they just put in the work of lying in a rest hold for several minutes. Both slowly get up, Rocky does a Tatanka-style no-sell on Sultan's punches, and starts fighting back, punches and a dropkick. Belly-to-belly by Rocky gets two. He hits a float-over DDT a moment later. Cross-body off the top rope, but the Iron Sheik distracts referee Earl Hebner from counting the pinning attempt.

Sultan hits a superkick. Another bad pinning attempt gets another two-count. The challenger hits a piledriver, sort of. Actual legitimate pin attempt gets two. Rocky suddenly does a bad schoolboy to score the surprise pin. Garbage ending, but at least it's over.

Result: Rocky Maivia via pinfall
Rating: 1/4*

Jim Ross tries to grab a word at ringside, but Sultan attacks Rocky from behind and returns him inside the ring for a beatdown, hitting a splash off the top rope. Iron Sheik actually locks Maivia into the camel clutch. Rocky Johnson, Maivia's dad, runs in for the save. The crowd doesn't recognize him. Hell, Vince actually started to call him "a fan" when he first ran in. Rocky Johnson gets some licks in, but Sultan ends up attacking him from behind and hitting him with a flag. He rips Johnson's shirt off. Finally Maivia gets back to his feet and begins clearing the ring, with father and son collectively knocking the Sheik outside last and then holding the ring.



Todd Pettengill gets a word backstage with Ken Shamrock. Shamrock talks about the confrontation with Billy Gunn this past Monday. "I wasn't trying to hurt him; I just wanted him to know who I am." He says that he's here to call the submission match down the middle tonight, and he will not be intimidated by either Bret Hart or Steve Austin.

Next to Dok Hendrix, who is interviewing Hunter Hearst-Helmsley and Chyna. Dok asks HHH what his relationship is to Chyna. HHH says, "You don't need to know anything about it." He vows to take down Goldust straight-up, but that Marlena is really going to be the one who is in trouble tonight.

Hunter Hearst-Helmsley (w/ Chyna) vs. Goldust (w/ Marlena): Though he gets more of a reaction than Rocky, this babyface Goldust business has never gotten over very well so far in 1997 either. He clotheslines HHH to kick this off, pounding him with repeated punches on the mat and then hitting an uppercut once they both get up. Corner mount and a 10-punch. Atomic drop, and a big clothesline out over the top rope. As HHH tries to re-enter, Goldust slides outside and hits an uppercut, leaving Helmsley tied up in the ropes. Goldust gets his shots in on the vulnerable HHH, who eventually gets loose. All Goldust early on.

Helmsley finally gets his first offense in, stopping short of a backdrop attempt and slamming Goldust's head into his knee. Goldust is right back after it though, hitting a nice powerslam a moment later. HHH catches him climbing the ropes and goes for a superplex. Goldust blocks, but Hunter ends up going with a front suplex that causes Goldust to fly to the floor, hitting his head on the apron on the way down with a thud. On second look, I don't think he hit his head for real…his hands may have made the loud sound. After the official checks on him for a moment, HHH rolls him back inside and records a two-count. He unzips the front of Goldust's outfit and lays in hard chops to Goldy's bare chest, then stomps hard on him in the corner.



Hunter whips Goldust hard from one corner to the other, then back. Swinging neckbreaker as Goldust staggers out the second time. Two-count. HHH slaps on an abdominal stretch. Eventually gets caught leveraging with the ropes, causing the referee to kick the hold free, and Goldust hits a hip-toss. Still, Helmsley is at the advantage, as a high knee gets another two-count. Back into a submission hold…sort of a hammerlock. Suplex, knee drop, two. Goldust counters into a surprise backslide for a near-fall. Follows with a small package for another. After kicking out twice, Hunter reasserts dominance with a clothesline. Goldust ducks the next clothesline and hits a cross-body for a two-count.

We get a mid-ring collision, but HHH starts stirring and recovering pretty quickly. He climbs the ropes, jumps out at Goldust, and Goldust sort of counters with a jumping ass attack. After a recovery period, HHH tries a corner charge that misses, hurting his shoulder. Both are worn out, but Goldust slowly lays in some right hands before executing an Irish whip and a backdrop. Corner whip sends Helmsley in hard, then he bulldogs him as a follow-up. As he sets up the Curtain Call, Chyna heads over to confront Marlena. HHH escapes the Curtain Call, sets up the Pedigree, Goldust counters into a catapult and then sets up the Curtain Call again, but he finally sees this Chyna/Marlena confrontation going on. He pulls Marlena up to the apron to temporary safety, but this just leaves him prone…Hunter hits a running knee to the back, knocking Goldust into Marlena, which knocks Marlena into the waiting arms of Chyna. Chyna shakes Marlena violently as HHH polishes things off with a Pedigree. Not a bad little match, even if it felt a bit long.



Result: Hunter Hearst-Helmsley via pinfall
Rating: **3/4

Marlena is hurt. Goldust attends to her after the match, HHH and Chyna already having left victorious.

Tag Team Titles - Owen Hart & The British Bulldog (c) vs. Vader & Mankind (w/ Paul Bearer): This is a lot of talent to be tucked away in a match that got no hype, no build, and no billing of importance. Jim Ross grabs an interview with the champions on the way to the ring, and again tries to stir **** up. They both yell at him for trying to cause trouble, saying "Bulldog's got two belts, Owen's got two Slammies, we're fine." Then, as they're both trying to move on and Bulldog is a couple of steps away, Jim Ross says, "But who's the leader of the team?" Owen yells back, "I'm the leader! Leave us alone!"

Owen and Vader start. Vader powers him into the corner and pounds away. Owen with a baseball slide through the legs after an Irish whip, a clothesline has little effect, but the spinning wheel kick puts the big man down. He tries to follow with a cross-body though, and Vader catches and slams. Owen dodges an elbow drop, but he tries to follow with a hurracanrana that Vader counters into a powerbomb. Vader sets up for the Vaderbomb, Bulldog runs interference from the apron, Mankind runs over to even the score, and we've got all four men in. Bulldog clotheslines both challengers to the mat, then Owen dropkicks both back down a moment later.



Bulldog and Mankind just sort of become the legal men without tagging in, and the match resets. Delayed suplex by Davey. Vader back in, illegally this time, but Bulldog suplexes him and Vader accepts temporary defeat and retires to the apron. As Bulldog locks in a reverse chinlock, the crowd sounds like they're chanting for Owen. When Bulldog gets back up to a vertical base, he ends up spilling out over the top rope when Vader pulls that top rope down. The challengers double-team Davey outside the ring, Vader actually hitting him with Paul Bearer's urn while the referee is tied up with Owen. The action returns inside, where Vader hits a suplex and gets a two-count. Whips Bulldog into the corner and follows him in for an avalanche. Second-rope splash, but Davey Boy kicks out again.

Tag to Mankind, who hammers away in the corner and then drives a running knee to the head. Executes a backdrop, tags back out to Vader, and the challengers have the Bulldog under firm control until Vader jumps off the ropes into the powerslam. Semi-hot tag to Owen, who enters with a missile dropkick. Goes for a sunset flip, Vader sits down and jars his tailbone. Cross-body off the top gets two. Vader brings the momentum to a screeching halt by overwhelming Hart on a mid-ring collision. After JR refers to Vader as a "monster," Lawler has kind of a funny line. "JR, you describe everyone as a 'monster.' What happened in your childhood?" Owen tries to roll outside, but Vader goes out after him, holding him in place over his knee so that Mankind can hit an elbow off the apron. Owen, trying to re-enter, jockeys for position with Mankind as they try to suplex each other to either side…Mankind eventually hangs Owen along the top rope, sending him back to the floor. We have a Stu and Helen Hart sighting at ringside.



Back inside, Owen tries to fight his way free of a chinlock, eventually hitting a swinging neckbreaker. Mankind puts him back down quickly though, and the challengers continue to isolate him. Mankind dumps Owen through the middle ropes, but when he tries to pursue him he falls victim to that counter belly-to-belly on the floor. Back on the inside, Owen hits the enziguri and finally hot-tags Bulldog in. Bulldog slams Mankind violently into the corner, possibly causing him to hit the ringpost. He sets up for the running powerslam, but Mankind counters into the Mandible Claw. Vader tries to keep Owen at bay, but knocks him into Mankind and Davey, and they both spill outside, Mankind still clinging to the Mandible Claw. He doesn't release it on the floor, and we end up with the lame double countout. Pretty decent match aside from the poor finish.



Result: Double Countout
Rating: **1/2

It bears mentioning that poor Vader really got a raw deal after doing such a great job in the WWF Title picture just a month ago. The other four guys in the picture ended up in the big two matches for this event, and he ended up in a forgotten tag team match that ends in a draw.

Incidentally, after the last two matches, I'm left thinking that I've been at least a bit too harsh about the way that I describe this show in the past. While it's still primarily a one-match show, I think that I've sort of wrongly mentally categorized it as "Bret vs. Austin and five or six different renditions of Rocky vs. Sultan," when some of the other stuff isn't that bad.

We get a video package hyping the coming Bret Hart/Steve Austin match. Unfortunately it's narrated by Todd Pettengill, but it's still not a bad bit of storytelling. They do bleep the replays of his cursing on Raw.

Submission Match (Guest Referee Ken Shamrock) - Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin: While I often tend to link to my other Meltzer 4+-star match thread for stuff like this, and do cliffs in here…**** it; this should get the full writeup in here as well. Vince pushes the "mixed crowd reaction" narrative, although during the entrances it doesn't show through that much; Bret gets the much more positive entrance pop.





Bret gives out the sunglasses to a ringside kid. Vince says that he really didn't appreciate Bret shoving him down on Monday, nor his use of language on Raw. Bret enters, and Austin immediately lunges at him and takes him down, hammering away. The two trade punches, then spill out to the floor and continue going right hand-for-right hand. Bret sends Austin into the ringpost, which makes a vicious-sounding impact. Stone Cold blocks a suplex and crotches Bret along the guardrail with a front suplex, then hits a running clothesline that sends Bret over the guardrail and into the crowd. As Ken Shamrock tries to clear the way, Hart and Austin head up through the fans. Austin swipes a Coke from a vendor, takes a swig, and returns to the attack, as an enthralled throng of fans watches the violence unfold. Bret takes the fight right back at him. They fight up the stairs. Austin appears to go for a piledriver, but Bret backdrops him on the steps, and they fight their way back down.



Bret flings Austin back to the proper side of the guardrail and then jumps off the guardrail with an axehandle. Austin reverses a whip outside, and sends Bret HARD into the steps.



He flips Bret the double bird from the apron and then launches off at him. Tries to pick up the top steps to use as a weapon, but seems to slip backward as he rares back. Bret goes after him; Austin pulls him back into the post, sort of. The fight finally returns back inside. Irish whip by Austin, great swinging neckbreaker by Bret on the way back.



Vince: "If Bret Hart loses this match, you wonder what he's going to come up with as an excuse, because he'll have one in my view." Bret begins to work Austin's braced leg, wrenching it backward and then dropping down on it several times. Vince continues on about Bret, saying he hopes that Bret will settle down after this match and continue the great legacy that he had going. He's really quite salty about being shoved to the mat on Monday. Normally I would wish that Vince wasn't involved in the call of an iconic match, but I do think that his increasing personal (kayfabe) frustration with Bret adds something here.

Bret's limb work hits a bump in the road when Austin moves his leg out of the way of Bret's attempt to jump on it. That jolts Bret, and creates just enough of a shock to enable Stone Cold to hit the Stunner.



Obviously the Stunner is of less effect in a match where pinfalls don't count. Austin is slow to recover, and Bret actually takes him right back down by kicking at the bad leg. Austin, selling like a boss, goes down like he just got shot. It makes it feel all the more impactful when Bret drags Austin to the ringpost and slaps on the figure-four on the post.



Bret finally releases the hold and rolls Austin back in. Hart goes over and grabs the ring bell, likely knowing that the use of a ring bell is a prerequisite to a true WrestleMania classic. He seems to think better of it though, and goes and trades it for a steel chair instead. Bret sets up Austin's ankle in the steel chair, and goes to climb the ropes with the presumed intent of jumping off on it. Austin slips free of the chair though, picks it up, and wallops Bret with it.



Stone Cold hammers Bret again with the chair. Picks him up and hits a front slam. Corner whip makes a hard impact. Suplex, then Austin climbs to the second rope, displays the middle finger, and drops the elbow. He pulls Hart's legs apart and stomps the lower abdomen. Bret's young daughter is shown in the crowd, burying her face in her hands so she doesn't have to watch. Russian legsweep by Austin. He transitions into sort of a modified octopus that applies pressure to Bret's neck and arm. He releases the hold and slaps on a Boston crab. Bret eventually gets to the ropes, and Shamrock gets pretty overzealous in enforcing a rope break, particularly given that there are no DQs in this bout. An evil grin spreads across Austin's face, as he starts to apply the Sharpshooter. However, Bret rakes the eyes to prevent the move.

Austin dumps Hart through the middle rope. He mocks the crowd, and still gets quite a bit of heat. Stone Cold goes outside to continue the brawl. Bret reverses a whip toward the guardrail, and at least one announcer gets taken out in the process. Amid the chaos, Bret blades Stone Cold, and as the two emerge from the scene, Austin is busted open above the eye.



The Hitman, like a shark smelling blood in the water, doesn't hesitate to continue the attack. He unloads a series of punches directly at the open wound. Hits a backbreaker, then an elbow off the second rope. Grabs the same steel chair from before and hammers Austin's injured leg with it repeatedly, as Vince says that Bret is taking this too far.



Bret goes for the Sharpshooter. Austin rakes the eyes to block it. The Hitman punches him into the corner, landing a series of rights, but Austin manages to lunge out with a low blow that floors Bret. Vince: "I'm not so sure that wasn't deserved." Austin continues fighting the good fight. Jim Ross says, "Austin's a stud." Austin, well on his way to the full crimson mask, does the mudhole-stomp in the corner.



Stone Cold with a superplex. He sends Bret to the apron, then goes and gets an electrical cord and chokes Bret with it. Bret instinctively grabs for the ring bell from before and flails backward with it, stopping the choke hold. JR says that Bret "just rang Austin's bell." Ross was the greatest of all time, but man do I hate his attempts at corny word plays.

Bret capitalizes after connecting with the ring bell, applying the Sharpshooter. Ken Shamrock yells to Austin, asking him if he gives up. Austin refuses to give, but seems to be losing strength. Loud "Austin" chants fill the arena. In a last gasp, Austin musters every bit of strength he has to try to push up and out of the hold…



…but, even though he reverses the momentum for a moment, Bret maintains the hold and sits back in as deep as ever. Shamrock screams once again to Austin to ask if he gives up. Austin is unresponsive, and Shamrock calls the match off. Jim Ross is quick to emphasize that Austin never gave up.

Result: Bret Hart via submission (unconscious opponent)
Rating: *****

Bret Hart climbs the corners to salute the crowd, who still reacts positively to him even though a good chunk of them got behind Austin in the late stages of the match. Then, he suddenly turns around and attacks Austin again, kicking away at the bad leg. JR: "Come on Bret, that's enough! … I'm a Bret Hart fan, but that's enough." He's going to slap on the Sharpshooter again when Shamrock forcefully intercedes, grabbing Bret in a waistlock and throwing him off.



The crowd pops huge for Shamrock, who challenges Bret to fight. As Bret slinks away, the crowd breaks into a chorus of boos. Bret high-fives a couple of fans on the way up the aisle, but takes umbrage to one and flips him off. He completes his exit up the aisle, victorious in the match but disgraced by the crowd that cheered loudly for his entrance just a half hour ago.



Referee Mike Chioda tries to help Austin up, but Austin refuses the help and hits a Stunner on Chioda. Ross calls Austin "a man's man, whether you like him or not." Loud "Austin" chants as Stone Cold limps his way up the aisle.



I think I need a cigarette. That match, and for that matter that post-match, deserves every bit of praise that it gets. To whatever extent he hadn't at this point, Austin would go on to surpass Bret Hart in basically every way, but Bret really deserves a ton of credit for launching Austin into the stratosphere in this feud, and especially in this moment. This match not only checks all the boxes, but it hits max score on things like historical importance, workrate, storytelling, and then hits an extremely high score on things like crowd heat and announcing quality.

Moving on with the show, Todd Pettengill is backstage with the Nation of Domination. I'm going to assume that everyone involved is shook as hell at what a death spot this just became after that greatness. I know that there are people who like this match though, so maybe they cope well with the hand they're dealt. Not much going on in this promo.

Seriously though, this is kind of odd match placement. "Dude just spilled blood all over the ring in a brutal brawl. Now here's a bloodless street fight!"

Chicago Street Fight - Faarooq, Savio Vega, & Crush vs. Ahmed Johnson & The Legion of Doom: Hawk carries a kitchen sink to the ring with him. SO CLEVER. Ahmed gets some honorary LOD spiked shoulder pads for the evening. The faces enter, but Faarooq is unintimidated and heads straight to the attack, leading his followers to do likewise. LOD and Ahmed clear them out though, and then they clear out the minions of the Nation as well, including Clarence Mason. JR: "Clarence Mason just got debriefed! He needs a sidebar!" JR, what did I just get through saying? You're giving me flashbacks to the later "BILLION DOLLAR PRINCESS JUST BECAME THE DAIRY QUEEN" cringeworthiness. The brawl spills out of the ring. Ahmed does a running somersault sentan over the guardrail that hits Crush. Animal clobbers Faarooq with a trash can. Ahmed takes the trash can and does the same to Crush.

Hawk takes a 2x4 and takes a big swing at Savio, but misses. On the outside, Faarooq stands up on the French (!) announce table with Animal, trading blows. This culminates in a terrible botched piledriver by Animal. Thankfully, "botched" as in "looks like the worst move ever," not as in "somebody got hurt terribly." As per usual with these street fights, it's pretty difficult to describe all of the ongoing action. Ahmed slams Faarooq through the French announce table though, finishing the job that Animal couldn't earlier.



Kind of like I remembered with this one, there are people who like this match, but this is pretty much just a mess. Impossible to follow and lacking for really cool signature spots. The Nation apparently has a noose, and they put it around Ahmed's neck and choke him for a while until he finally gets free. Meanwhile, Animal uses a street sign as a weapon, and the impact makes the awkward sound of loudly hitting someone with a flimsy piece of cardboard. Faarooq, up on the second rope, gets yanked out all the way to the floor. Now it's his turn to get hung by the noose, which gets unhooked anyway, and is now just a loose rope. Various participants keep busting out a fire extinguisher, spraying it, and killing visibility in the area as the discharge settles. Kind of abruptly, the LOD sets up Crush, hits the Doomsday Device, and Ahmed and Hawk combine to clothesline Crush with a 2x4. 1-2-3, babyfaces win.

I didn't like this (just like I never have in previous viewings), but to give due credit, the crowd was plenty live for this even after the significant burnout risk created by the Hart/Austin match.

Result: Ahmed Johnson & LOD via pinfall
Rating: *

After the match, Ahmed and Animal hold PG-13 up on their shoulders, and Hawk takes out both of them in one action with another Doomsday Device. That was cooler than anything during the match.



After an ad for the next PPV, we hear the familiar sounds of a woman moaning in a high-pitched voice to bad music, which can only mean one thing: Shawn Michaels is on his way to make the main event of this show a lot more annoying. He'll be on announce duties.

After ring entrances, but before the match gets going, Bret Hart comes marching down to the ring to mostly booing. Shawn speaks mockingly about how predictable it is that Bret would act resentful about not being in the main event himself. Bret gets the mic and addresses Shawn first: "First of all, you phony little faker, why don't you take your little pussyfoot injury and go back and find your smile?" When choosing between the two, I'm sure it's no secret that I'm Team Bret, but when they fire shots at each other I usually pretty much nod regardless of who's talking and think that they've both got a point.



He turns to Undertaker, saying that when he slammed the cage door on his head on Monday, he slammed the door on their friendship, and things were going to be different from now on. Next he tells Sid that he's a fraud and shouldn't be champion. Sid gets irritated, powerbombs him, and tells him to "take his whining ass outta here." Bret gets helped to the back by some officials.

WWF Title (No DQ) - Sid (c) vs. The Undertaker: As Sid is still yelling at Bret, Undertaker attacks him from behind, and the main event has started. The dead man tosses Sid into the corner, punches away, then gets a running start and hits a jumping avalanche. Bodyslam gets an early two-count. Taker with an arm-wringer. He walks the top rope and drops the hammer. He again sets Sid up in a corner for an avalanche, but this time Sid catches him into a bearhug. Bearhugs look like the weakest thing ever when you don't have enough of a size advantage to at least hold the other guy up off the mat. This hold goes on for quite a while, with Sid periodically releasing the hold to punch away at the lower back. At least he's trying to be psychologically sound.



Sid knocks Taker out over the top, Taker lands on his feet, and then Sid sends Taker spilling backward over one of the announce tables. He picks the challenger up and drops him on the guardrail. Twice. He slams Taker on the table, and it doesn't break. He continues working that lower back, slamming him back-first into the ringpost. Rolls him back inside and gets a two-count. He continues the back work with a camel clutch, eventually jumping up and landing down on the back. Continues the methodical offense with an axhandle off the second rope. Undertaker tries launching a comeback, throwing some fists and headbutts. Sid reverses an Irish whip and hits a powerslam. Two. Big legdrop gets another two. Undertaker ducks a clothesline, and hits his own flying clothesline on the way back. Sid maintains the edge here though, hitting what kind of looked like a heart punch in the corner. Undertaker, from a knee, reaches out and yanks Sid out of the ring. He follows him out and sends the champion spilling over the guardrail.

They trade punches over the barrier. Undertaker gets the better of them, then pulls Sid back over and slams him into the steps before returning things into the ring. He misses on an elbow drop, and Sid excitedly slaps on another rest hold. They lay around for a while longer. What I said earlier was for real…the psychology of the match makes perfect sense. It's just not at all entertaining to watch. Sending Sid out to work a 20-minute match, and having him control this much of the offense, doesn't exactly lend itself to excitement. His offensive arsenal is cleared out by the second minute.



Undertaker fights his way free and hits a powerslam. Two. He catches Sid's boot, spins him around in a 360, clothesline, two-count. The two hit simultaneous big boots on each other, laying the both of them out. Sid is first to stir, crawls over and makes the futile pin attempt. After that fails, he hits another second-rope axhandle. And another one. Two-count. Goes for yet another second-rope axhandle, but gets punched in the gut on the way down. Sid thwarts Undertaker's comeback attempt with an eye-rake, then bodyslams the dead man and scales the ropes. Taker with the sit-up, punches Sid and crotches him on that top turnbuckle, and fires in multiple right hands before flinging Sid to the mat. Taker's turn to go up high, and he hits the flying clothesline from there. Again, just a two-count.

Undertaker signals for the Tombstone. He picks Sid up over his shoulder, but Sid reverses, hits his own tombstone, and Taker kicks out on two. The champ throws the challenger out through the middle rope, and they again trade punches out there. Here's Bret Hart again, who hammers Sid in the back with a couple of chair shots before being dragged off again by officials. Vince says, "What a loser Bret Hart has turned out to be."

Taker slams Sid back-first into the post. Sends him back inside and hits a chokeslam. Pin attempt…again, only a near-fall. Undertaker goes for a flying clothesline that misses, and looks pretty crappy in the process of missing. Sid sets up for a powerbomb, and a resigned Shawn Michaels says, "Jesus…" That is obviously prompted by Bret again, as Bret comes out again to interfere. Bret hangs Sid along the top rope, which sends Sid staggering back into Taker. Tombstone, 1-2-3, we have a new champion. Regardless of the unpopular Breterference, the crowd pops massively for the title win.



Result: "…and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion," The Undertaker via pinfall
Rating: *

Taker holds the belt for the first time since 1991, then kneels in salute to the fans as WrestleMania 13 goes off the air.



Overall: So yeah, as mentioned earlier in the writeup, I've at least been slightly too hard on the non-GOAT parts of this show. HHH vs. Goldust and Owen/Bulldog vs. Vader/Mankind are perfectly watchable. I guess they just get forgotten when they give way to the Bret/Austin match, and then the stuff that follows the Bret/Austin match sucks, with the main event feeling like it goes on forever. I would still say that the overall show minus that match is subpar, but it's not quite the massive split of truly having nothing else of any value at all. Plus it's kind of an absurd exercise to talk about lifting that match out, because in that hypothetical world you assign Bret and Austin to different matches and still stand a good chance to have more greatness. Anyway, it's a fine show, even if 99.9% powered by one thing.

Great write up. I could read various write ups of the Hart/Austin match all day and never get tired. Also after reading your wrote up of some of the other matches, I feel as if I may have underrated this show as a whole too.

Just a quick story that really doesn't have much to do with this show, but I love telling it so deal with it. I guess I should have told this in my write up for this show in the other thread. Anyway, I guess I was lucky to see this show live, because it generally would be on the the last Sunday in March or first Sunday in April. The following week I went to Vegas with a few friends so we could be out there for the final four. My ine buddy actually bet Arizona to win it all before the Tourney at 20-1 through one of those off shore books you had to call on the phone. If anyone is old enough to remember those.

To make an already long story shorter, on the Sunday night in between the semis and finals of the Tourney, we strolled into the sports book at Treasure Island. It was a very slow sports night and only one window was open that was waiting for the last NBA game to go final. Well we stroll over to the window and start chatting up the clerk and the sports book director for a little. Well the Tyson-Holyfield 2 fight was scheduled to go off in about 3 months from then, and my one buddy asked those guys what do they think about it. The clerk looks at the director and the director gives him a slight nod. The clerk turns back to us and says "Don't bet it. I'm telling you, one of two things is going to happen in that fight. Either Tyson is going to win, or you are going to see something so bizzare that you will not believe it actually happened." My buddy asked "What does that mean?" He says "I have no idea what it will be, I just know that it will be crazy."

Fast forward 3 months and we watch the fight and I'm sure everyone knows what happened. We were all stunned for what felt like 10 minutes, but I'm sure was only 1 or 2, and then I remembered the clerk. I shouted "Holy ****, Ant! Remember the clerk from Vegas?" And it took him a couple seconds and then he remembered too.

That's all sorry to waste everyone's time

^^ That's pretty cool stories to hear. Heck, that fight is another important event and piece of the puzzle of WWF turning things around in this war.

Anywho, great write-up on that Austin/Hart, LKJ.

Great write-up of the match and the entire event, LKJ.

I just went back and watched Bret/Austin. So great. Only enhanced by knowing what happens later. Vince's line about Bret coming up with an excuse if he loses the match is money. Overall the announcing in this match really props it up even more.

I'm even more looking forward to the rest of this thread after that. The ascendance of Stone Cold Steve Austin to super stardom. So close to one of my favorite matches ever in Austin/Bret street fight the night after Revenge of the Taker.

I have zero recollection of that fight ever happening, but I'm now looking forward to it.

While I have a strong memory of Bret's upcoming story arc, I'm really fuzzy on everything else in the company. Looking forward to seeing it play out.

that was an awesome write up lkj

we're getting closer and closer to the point where I started watching and I'm really excited to relive a lot of it

Great writeup. Pretty much in line with how I felt about the show last time I watched, except I was one of the ones who enjoyed the street fight.

Waiting for the writeup of Raw now...

I enjoyed the street fight as well. I was and still am an ECW mark but as I remarked after the last RAW, I'd just found ECW on tv at this point and I couldn't get enough garbage brawling even if it was low work rate or whatever. I love the chaos.

Yeah, I think you guys are in the majority. I'll say that I went into it this time fully hoping that my prior impressions would be proven wrong and that I would be left wondering why I didn't like that match previously, but nope...it pretty much blended in with that Harlem Heat-Public Enemy street fight from Uncensored to me.

I don't think it mattered because Sting was so on fire at the time and the fans really wanted to see him finally attack the nWo but that could've been done so much better. No reason to ever have him join the group and embrace Hogan like that. Then the nWo sees him come down and attacks him when he was supposed to be with them.

It just made very little sense. Could've had him return to WCW in a much better way.

I agree. It makes no sense for nWo to suddenly know that he was a hostile party this time when he had sort of been pretending to be in with them. But it also didn't make sense for them to ever truly believe that he was with them.

This seems like a particularly silly example of time itself seeming to freeze from one televised event to the next, as we're apparently supposed to believe that he was just silently hanging out with them behind the scenes or something. That's the type of thing that we have to suspend disbelief on as wrestling fans fairly often, but it stuck out to me as pretty stupid here because most of these nWo defections were, in kayfabe, being cooked behind the scenes at dinners, etc. It never added up with Sting.

Yeah, just from War Games to Uncensored was like 7 months. Pretty weak payoff to Sting finally showing his allegiances and "coming home"

But again, angle was so hot at the time that it just didn't matter.

Yep. Like any number of things, it held up as good business at the time, but very little of it holds up today as good art.

I've started working on the Raw-after-WM writeup, but imgur is doing some weird **** where it ruins my gifs upon upload; the animation is distorted in a way that reminds me of music videos from the 80s. Google didn't turn this up as a known issue, so I let the site support know.

I realize that there are other places to host images, but I seem to have more trust in imgur to exist forever, and thus for my picture links to not break. I don't really want to host my pics elsewhere.

Anyway, not totally sure when I would get the next writeup done anyway, but I'll probably have to wait out that problem before posting it anyway.

Just to add my unneeded two cents to the Street Fight discussion, I went back and checked my write up and notes for this event, and I referred to it as a very enjoyable train wreck. So take that for what it's worth

Ha, this is remarkably similar to my thoughts. Is it ok to not take a side? JFC from everything I read they just seem like the two biggest crybaby marks on the planet.

Well, to know my posting is probably to know that I can much more easily manufacture sympathy for the smug, holier-than-thou, take-things-too-seriously guy than I could for Shawn Michaels, though it would probably be a lot closer question for me if it wasn't for this bull**** where Shawn kept finding ways to never ever put anyone over. I admit, though, that there is one big exception to this in his incredibly gutsy performance at WrestleMania XIV.

But in any case, I think that disliking both of them while appreciating both of their wrestling work is a 100% valid approach.

I would just like to point out once again for the record that the crowd hated Rocky (and this match) so much that they booed when Rocky didn't let his arm drop for the third time in this spot.

Ha, I did not notice that. That's pretty great.

Obviously my tune will eventually change drastically on Rocky ITT as the thread goes on (provided that I actually get this as far as mid-1998), but I feel justified in beating the ever-living **** out of him every time he shows up at this point in 1997. He was so bad.

It seems you made it through the first hard part. The next is 99 WCW.

During the first hard part, WWF at least had the decency to only be one hour long. I shudder at the thought of WCW simultaneously hitting a low point while also expanding to three ****ing hours per week.

The extra hour of WWF is very welcome now, but it does inevitably slow down the thread progress.

Approaching my peak WWE fandom

I is excited