That shirt was probably an upgrade from the whole ensemble from the week before, so I didn't think too much of it.

I think Jericho wore that vest with no shirt the other week on RAW

I now realize that face Chris Jericho is just face Shawn Michaels but 20 years older.

Finally caught up on this. It's funny to admit, but I think World War 1996 is the only WCW PPV I think I bought/had my parents buy. There's two reasons I think I wanted it really bad. One is that I was (probably still am) a sucker for gimmicky battle royal matches.

The seconds is pretty random - When I was 10 or so (I got WW96 when I was 13) I went to the local movie store with my dad. Right next store was a flea market that I went in for some reason and saw an Ultimo Dragon wrestling figure from Mexico, and was enthralled with it. However, my dad didn't let me get it, or maybe I even thought it was too silly to ask for. Occasionally I would think about this Ultimo Dragon wrestler that I knew nothing about. Fast forward a few years and here he was in WCW.

I ended up being largely disappointed in him, but I think that's because by the time I saw him I was pretty hooked on guys like Austin and not high fliers. In short, I might go back to watch some of his WCW stuff now that I have a greater appreciation for the cruiserweights of WCW.

Ultimo was quite good. Had a unique style, could keep up with any of the other cruiserweights...I'm looking forward to getting to the Ultimo-Malenko match at Starrcade '96.

Work schedule for the last two weeks has been far more slammed than usual and has left me too sapped in the evenings to want to work on this project, but things should lighten up considerably around mid-day tomorrow and I'm sure I'll hammer out another writeup within the next week or so.

December 9, 1996

NITRO

Charlotte, NC

The show opens on the sound of bagpipes. Roddy Piper emerges, pandering with a Carolina Panthers t-shirt on. Tony Schiavone: "What a moment in sports!" Him making an advertised appearance for at least the fourth time in the past six weeks is "what a moment" material in Schiavoneworld. Piper drones on for a while with standard babyface Piper promo work. Incidentally, I know that there are people who read this who are much more positive on Piper than I am, but did those people actually like Piper's promo work at this point in his career? The Piper love makes a lot more sense to me if it's almost all based on 1987 and before.



Piper talks about how he was to box Mr. T earlier in his career, and that "they wanted him to take a dive." He adds, "And who 'they' are, it's somebody you would never guess. None of the obvious." WTF is he talking about? I have a very hard time believing that "Vince" and/or "the booking team" wouldn't be the correct answer to who asked him to take a dive to Mr. T. He implicitly screams that he won't take a dive for "anybody," referencing Hogan. He says, I have nothing against the nWo…I'm not with WCW, I'm not with nWo, I'm Roddy Piper." You have nothing against the faction that jumped you and beat you down just two weeks ago? Piper calls out Hogan and says, "Let's just do this now." Then Piper's own music hits and he leaves. I…okay.

Mike Enos vs. M. Wallstreet: Man, this match is hardly worthy of WCW Worldwide. Tony: "Should be a great match. Both great wrestlers, both great win/loss records." Of all the things to compliment about these two, pointing to their win/loss records is maybe the last way to go. I'd like to hear how Tony would prop up Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Barry Horowitz. As these two start to grapple, Ted DiBiase strolls down to the ring carrying contracts. Enos was in control, but gets distracted by DiBiase and starts making the Johnny Football money signal at him as if he's going to take money and sign on with the nWo. Wallstreet attacks from behind, Samoan drop, 1-2-3.



Result: M. Wallstreet via pinfall

Ted hands a contract to Wallstreet, who smiles. Ted walks off doing his signature laugh. I would say that we've just seen a Money Inc. reunion, but I don't remember Rotundo ever joining the nWo, so I don't know what this is. In kayfabe it feels like Rotundo is to DiBiase what Ed Leslie is to Hulk Hogan.

To a clip from WCW Saturday Night. Chris Benoit and Woman at a dinner table together. Woman openly taunts Kevin Sullivan and repeats that it's over. Benoit adds some taunting as well, saying, "You say you're the world's best chess player…well my bishop takes your queen. Checkmate." I find this whole thing uncomfortable. They also show Tony trying to get word with Sullivan on Saturday Night, but Sullivan just shakes his head and walks off.



Hugh Morrus vs. Renegade (w/ Joe Gomez): Like, having prelim matches is okay, but I really don't think the company had any designs at all on doing anything with either of these two guys at this point (correctly so, at least certainly in Renegade's case), so I'm surprised that this idea even showed up on the booking sheet. But like the earlier prelim match, it's really short, with Morrus hitting a back suplex and then executing the No Laughing Matter top-rope moonsault for the clean win.



Result: Hugh Morrus via pinfall

Kevin Sullivan to ringside in street clothes, jeans and a defaced Four Horsemen t-shirt. He gets in Schiavone's face and confronts him about showing that WCW Saturday Night clip. Sullivan: "Let me tell you something. I know this is a rating game, you're trying to do everything to get every bit of ratings. That video wasn't sent to WCW. Who was it sent to?" Tony says it was sent to Sullivan. Sullivan: "Me? Then why didn't you have the common courtesy and decency to ask me if you could show that?" Tony says he's just doing what he's told. Sullivan calls him a pawn, and says, "I have a personal life. Do you understand I have things to do outside this ring? Let me finish. I hear people talking about family. Well I've got somebody that affected real bad. Schiavone and Zbyszko…you had nothing to do with it, but I know you'd take my side…next time you've got something to show, I don't care about ratings. I have somebody to take care of."



We get a video package showing the most recent developments in the Sting angle. WCW's video packages were so ridiculously low-rent.

Gene Okerlund brings out Kevin Greene, who is in the middle of football season here in Charlotte. Greene vows that he's still going to come after Mongo McMichael in the offseason. Greene cuts a promo first on Mongo, then on Hulk Hogan. It really is surprising that Greene didn't pursue wrestling full-time after his playing career ended, because he was certainly a natural.

Cruiserweight Title - Dean Malenko (c) vs. Jimmy Graffiti: Malenko and Graffiti trade counters, Graffiti keeping up nicely with Malenko's pace and settling into a hammerlock for a moment. Malenko escapes, gets a vertical base, but loses a test of strength and goes back down. Back to his feet, Dean executes an arm-wringer and a clothesline. Commercial.

Back from break, Sonny Onoo is now at ringside running distraction on Malenko, as Graffiti capitalizes and works some offense. Graffiti with a jawbreaker. He wrestles Dean into the corner, Dean fights his way back out, but Graffiti reasserts control with a back suplex. I liked the early mat wrestling in this match quite a bit, but the heat segment has been dull and aimless. Dean takes control back with a back suplex thag gets a two-count. Graffiti thumbs an eye and executes a corner whip, but comes up empty on a charge and then eats a jumping heel kick by Malenko. Baseball slide to the floor by Dean, but Graffiti dodges and then hangs him across the barricade.

The challenger rolls the champ back in and tries to head up top to follow, but is too slow. Dean meets him up top and superplexes him. The pin only gets two, then Graffiti shows himself to be relentless, stopping short of a leapfrog and then hitting a superkick. Surprised at Graffiti's level of offense in this match, as he throws a powerbomb here. He showboats for a moment and then tries to roll through for a pin, but can't get three. Butterfly powerbomb by Malenko gets two, but Graffiti is right back at him with another counter, picking a charging Malenko up and hitting him with a stun gun. Graffiti for a delayed suplex, Malenko counters in mid-air into a small package and escapes with what comes off as a fluky win. Pretty decent match; pretty sub-par announcing, as they didn't really put over the clear story of this match. This should have helped put Graffiti over more. As is, I literally didn't remember him being in WCW until doing this project.



Result: Dean Malenko via pinfall

Gene Okerlund confronts Sonny Onoo and asks him why he always comes out and acts so irritating. Onoo answers him without an accent, and Okerlund jumps on him, saying, "Hey, hey, what happened to that accent??" Onoo admits that he puts on a fake accent, saying that when he uses it, he can get "free education, maybe free housing…sometimes I understand you can even stay home and get free money in this country! What a great country." What a strange segment. That seemed more like WWF than WCW.



We see clips of the triangle tag match from WW3 between The Outsiders, The Faces of Fear, and The Nasty Boys.

The Nasty Boys vs. The Faces of Fear (w/ Jimmy Hart): The announcers say that the Faces of Fear are already lined up for a title shot at Starrcade, so I guess this isn't a #1 contender match or whatever. I realize that Meng and the Barbarian aren't promo guys, but they really should have just dumped Jimmy and gone as silent ass-kicking faces at this point. Barbarian fights Brian Knobbs inside while Jerry Sags fights Meng outside. Things settle down, and Knobbs throws an axhandle and tags Sags in. The Outsiders show up at the top of the aisle, rocking the Tag Team Title belts.

The referee can't keep control of the match, with all four guys brawling and the Faces of Fear actually hitting multiple chair shots on Sags. They return Sags back inside. Barbarian for a top rope headbutt, but Sags rolls away and Barbarian headbutts the mat. Sags tags in a fresh Brian Knobbs, leading the match to immediately devolve back into four-way chaos. Knobbs hits a second-rope flying clothesline, then a second-rope splash, which is only good enough for a visual pin as the referee was distracted outside the ring. Jimmy Hart runs interference, Barbarian subdues Knobbs and holds him up for Jimmy to actually jump off the top for a megaphone shot, but predictably Knobbs slips away and Jimmy hits the Barbarian.



Knobbs carelessly tosses Jimmy over the top out of the ring, as Meng was clearly in a spot to catch Jimmy and Knobbs just unsafely flung Jimmy away from Meng so that he couldn't get caught. In any case, Knobbs's distraction with Jimmy leads Barbarian to nail Knobbs with the megaphone (off camera) and score the pin.

Result: Faces of Fear via pinfall

Gene, right in the heart of Horsemen country, introduces Ric Flair for an interview. Strangely he comes out to the Arn Anderson theme instead of the usual Also Sprach Zarathustra. Flair awkwardly compliments Kevin Greene to pander to the Panther fans in attendance, despite Flair and Greene being onscreen nemeses. Then he moves on to call out one of his best friends in the business, Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper makes his second appearance of the night, embracing Flair and joining the interview. Flair puts Piper over as a true icon of the sport. Flair says that he blew his opportunity in the past by losing to Hogan, but gives Piper the pep talk about his upcoming chance.



Piper calls this his last shot. He tells Flair that he appreciates Flair's support, but that he doesn't want anybody's help, declaring that if he doesn't do it by himself, he won't be able to live with himself.

We're onto hour #2, with Tony joining Bobby Heenan and Mike Tenay. They play back a recap clip of Piper's first promo tonight, banter a bit about Piper/Hogan, and return to the ring.

Bobby Eaton vs. Chris Jericho: Eaton throws a shoulderblock, then stops short of a leapfrog and connects on a hard clothesline. Top-rope knee-drop by Eaton gets two, as he gets off to a quick start in the match. Jericho catches Eaton in a powerslam as they send it to a PIP promo by Jericho, who is still calling out Nick Patrick. Seriously? Lionsault by Jericho gets two. Eaton hits an electric chair drop and then goes for his top-rope legdrop, but Jericho rolls out of the way, gets up and hits a superkick, then hits a missile dropkick off the top for the win. Tony puts over what a huge star Jericho is about to be.



Result: Chris Jericho via pinfall

Clips from the past two weeks, with Sting attacking Rick Steiner before his match two weeks ago, the Steiners calling Sting out last week, then Sting actually facing Rick Steiner in a match last week that ended in a no contest when Sting walked out.

Back to the live show, Gene is with the Steiner Brothers. Rick just yells for Sting to come out there until the Nitro music starts playing them out. Scott chimes in that they're waiting for Sting before the show fades to commercial.

Here's a music video of Lex Luger putting a bunch of people in the Torture Rack.

Sgt. Craig Pittman vs. Arn Anderson (w/ Mongo McMichael and Debra): Pittman does not have Teddy Long tonight. But he does have a mustache now, so that's basically just as good. Tony refers to an attitude change in Pittman and an apparent breakup with Teddy, so I guess he's a heel now, to the extent that random jobbers actually have affiliations. Before the match starts, we get a PIP promo from Kevin Sullivan, delivered in a chilling, creepy calm tone. "Arn, I blame this all on you. What if it was Erin? Huh? What if you came home, no Barrett, no Erin? It's been some long, cold nights for me, Arn. Next week, you and I are gonna heat up my life. There's nothing left for me but you."



I did Google it, and as you would expect from that promo, Arn's wife's name is Erin and his son is named Barrett. I'll just drop this in here as recommended viewing…it's from the upcoming WCW Saturday Night five days later.



This match between Anderson and Pittman is a brief one. Pittman slaps on his cross armbreaker submission hold, but Arn is close enough to the ropes to wrap his feet around the bottom rope and get the break. Debra distracts Pittman outside the ring, the referee goes and gets distracted by her as well, Mongo blatantly hits Pittman with a briefcase just inches behind the referee, then returns Pittman inside, where Arn finishes things with a DDT. To Arn's credit, even after the bell he continues selling a bad arm injury from having spent about five seconds in Pittman's finishing hold. That's the type of thing that I wouldn't have even noticed if he wouldn't have done it, and it's a detail that lots of wrestlers wouldn't bother with.

Result: Arn Anderson via pinfall

Mean Gene joins Arn, Mongo, and Debra. Arn is upset about Woman going missing. Debra calls Woman a "tramp" and says you can't trust her; Debra gets significant X-Pac heat even from the most partisan pro-Horsemen crowd you could find. Mongo tries to refocus Arn, telling him not to get caught up in a soap opera and congratulating him on "just beating one of the toughest wrestlers in the world, all by yourself." Solid trolling there. Arn closes the interview with, "Benoit, come home. Woman, I've got a bone to pick with you."



US Title Tournament - Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jeff Jarrett: Even though I enjoyed the first couple of weeks of Jarrett's arrival in WCW, it didn't take long before hearing his music filled me with the type of dread that I felt when finding out that I had to write up a Goldust match. For all of Jarrett's raw abilities, and I do think that he was basically competent at all basic aspects of pro wrestling, the dude has just been incredibly boring for an overwhelming majority of his career. Page pounds Jarrett in the corner, then backs down and hides behind the referee when Jarrett tries to fight back.

The two men trade holds and counters until the show goes to break. Upon return, Page hits a back suplex on Jarrett and then follows with a tilt-a-whirl side slam that gets a two-count. Jarrett halts the momentum with a jawbreaker, then connects on an enziguri. Jarrett's enziguri just looks woeful compared to Owen Hart's. Swinging neckbreaker by Jarrett. He whips Dallas into the corner and then chokes him across the bottom rope. Sunset flip by Page gets two, but Jarrett is up quickly with a clothesline that DDP bumps like he's Dolph Ziggler. One-count and a rope break.



Jarrett with a slingshot suplex, then a fistdrop off the second rope. Two. Small package by Page gets two. Facebuster by Jarrett. The Horsemen crowd doesn't like Jarrett either; I'm going to assume that the Jarrett/Debra partnership in WWF didn't play well in the South, though to be fair, Debra became far less of a trainwreck later. Jarrett slaps on a sleeper. DDP flails, and flails, and flails more slowly, starting to fade out. Page summons enough energy to get free and then unloads with a vicious clothesline. Both slow to get up. Page lays in some hard rights, the crowd solidly behind him. He jumps up to the top rope and then delivers a flying clothesline, but only gets two.

Dallas goes for another running clothesline, but Jarrett ducks and DDP goes spilling outside. Here come Scott Hall and Kevin Nash. Nash distracts the referee, Hall hits Jarrett with the Razor's Edge, DDP re-enters with plausible deniability of knowing what just happened, and makes the cover to advance in the tournament. Decent match.



Result: DDP via pinfall

Mean Gene catches up with DDP and questions him again about the Outsiders continuing to help him out. Page says, "I don't need them. I got the hottest finish on the planet, the Diamond Cutter." He tells Hall and Nash to leave him alone, comparing them to a girl he meets in a club who won't stop calling him. As far as the US Title Tournament goes, he says that nobody wants it more than he does.

We're scheduled next for a match between Rick Steiner and Scott Norton, but after the Steiner music hits, Roddy Piper emerges from the back, and the music switches to bagpipes. Piper stomps out angrily and sets up a steel chair in the ring and sits down, demanding that Hogan get out there. The nWo music hits, and here's Eric Bischoff. Bischoff gets hit with a significant amount of trash and liquid on his way out. Bischoff says that the nWo isn't here, that they've left, then he taunts Piper until Piper attacks. Nash, Hall, and DiBiase run out to the ring, but Piper holds the ring with a steel chair and holds them off. Kevin Greene joins Piper in the ring, and they hold the ring together. Nash is finally going to charge into the ring when the show goes off the air.



The WWE Network shows an "after the show exclusive," where Arn Anderson and Mongo come out to assist Piper and Greene in holding off the nWo.

Overall: Inoffensive but fairly pointless. The Benoit/Sullivan stuff is actually the most compelling part of the show, owing to the fact that I didn't need three damn Roddy Piper segments. The wrestling was alright. I would put this episode maybe slightly on the lower side of average.

RAW

New Haven, CT

We open on a video recap of the Undertaker-Mankind feud. Their no holds barred match will main event tonight's show. And curtain-jerking will be…the WWF Champion against the Intercontinental Champion. Okay then.

Sid vs. Hunter Hearst-Helmsley: This is a non-title match. Sid is out first, then he charges down the aisle after HHH during H's entrance. Press slam by Sid, then a sort-of clothesline over the top rope. He follows Helmsley out and drops him along the steel barricade. Jim Ross mentions that Shawn Michaels will be at the announce table for the Sid vs. Bret Hart title match at In Your House. Back inside the ring, HHH bumps like a boss for Sid's corner whip. Sid with a chokeslam and then a powerbomb. Instead of making the pin right then, Sid stands back and allows HHH to roll out of the ring and crawl away for the countout. I won't pretend to really understand having your IC Champ get dominated like this, even if he didn't get pinned. Hunter didn't get a single moment of offense that I can remember.



Result: Sid via countout

Here are some clips from the SummerSlam Boiler Room Brawl. They're pretty explicitly pushing tonight's Taker-Mankind match as a blowoff match. Which, as I mentioned in the last writeup, seems pretty strange since they're doing a PPV match between Taker and Mankind's primary henchman this coming Sunday. They're doing things in the wrong order.

Goldust (w/ Marlena) vs. Bart Gunn: During entrances, we see a clip from Superstars this past weekend, where Bart Gunn nearly had the IC Title won against HHH when Billy Gunn ran interference to screw his brother over. They announce Bart vs. Billy for the live Raw next week. Onto this match, Goldust flings a bunch of gold dust in Bart's eyes to open the match, then goes on the attack, hanging Bart along the top rope before dumping him out of the ring. Marlena blows cigar smoke in Goldust's face. Bart tries fighting back at Goldust, but Dust sends him hard into the steel steps.

Goldust suplexes Bart back into the ring. Bart surprises with a desperation pin attempt that gets two, but he falls victim to the signature Goldust baseball slide uppercut a moment later. They send it to Billy Gunn backstage, who calls Bart pathetic and says that he carried Bart during their whole run. Incidentally, I think that Bart was pretty much on the same talent level as Billy in the ring and had just as good of a look, but he just didn't fall into the spot where he got to be the guy leading the crowd in a "suck it" sing-along. To be fair, Billy probably did have a bit more charisma.



Bart launches a comeback, but comes up empty on a corner charge and eats a clothesline as Raw goes to break. Back from commercial, Bart ducks a couple of clotheslines and hits a cross-body for a two-count. Bulldog by Bart gets another two. Backdrop. Gunn attempts to jump off the top at Goldust, but Goldust ducks, Bart hurts his knee on the mat, and Goldust runs up and clips the newly-injured knee and scores the pin.

Result: Goldust via pinfall

Enter Billy Gunn. Billy picks up a mic and taunts Bart, telling Bart that Bart is nothing without him. Bart attacks and runs him off.



More Taker-Mankind flashback clips, this time from IYH: Buried Alive.

Pre-match promo from Justin Hawk Bradshaw and Uncle Zebekiah, who will take on Jesse James next.



Justin Hawk Bradshaw & Uncle Zebekiah vs. "The Real Double J" Jesse James: James takes the fight to both men early, mostly punches and stomps. The referee eventually gets Zeb to the corner as James hits a Japanese armdrag on Bradshaw. Bradshaw gets occasional blows in, but it's all JJ early until Bradshaw connects on a bulldog. Tag to Zeb, who tries to throw a backdrop, but gets kicked in the face and just tags out right away. Back suplex by Bradshaw gets two. James gets a visual pin on the interfering Zebekiah with a small package, but Zeb wasn't actually legal anyway, so it all evens out.

Side slam by Bradshaw gets two. He tries to set James up for a superplex, but James punches him off the ropes and then connects on a flying clothesline. JJ with an attempted backdrop, Bradshaw kicks him in the face, James ducks the Clothesline from Hell, Zeb comes in to run interference and is going to use a brand as a weapon, but he really catches Bradshaw squarely with it by accident. James is able to make the pin and win a handicap match that nobody possibly cared about.



Jesse James via pinfall

Bradshaw attacks Zebekiah after the match, hitting him with a Clothesline from Hell and then branding him…so I guess that alliance is over. Between Sgt. Craig Pittman/Teddy Long and Bradshaw/Zebekiah, it's been a rough week for irrelevant pairings that weren't over anyway.

After commercial, Jim Ross brings out Bret Hart for an interview. He cuts a passable promo on Sid; nothing really noteworthy.



No Holds Barred - Mankind (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. The Undertaker: Jim Ross says, "We know that Mankind would rather fight a man than make love to a woman." Taker attacks first, kicks and punches, a corner smash, and a jumping clothesline. The dead man walks the tightrope and drops the hammer from there. Chokeslam. This is looking like a full squash as Undertaker goes for the Tombstone, but Executioner runs distraction and causes Undertaker to drop the move and go after him. Commercial.

Back from break, the two competitors are brawling at ringside, with Undertaker flinging Mankind hard into the barricade and then smashing him face-first into the steps. He sets Mankind's claw hand on the steps and stomps on it. He picks up the steps and targets that hand again, but mostly hits arm. In any case, Taker continues working that hand, bringing the action back inside and smashing that hand into multiple turnbuckles. Mankind slows things down by throwing a chop block at the back of Taker's leg. Mankind tries charging at Taker in the corner, but gets hit on the way in. Persistent, Mankind goes for a clothesline over the top, but both land on their feet, and Undertaker keeps attacking. Still, Mankind reverses a whip and sends Undertaker into the steel steps, finally taking some actual control.



Mankind sets Taker's leg up on a ringside chair, then does the apron running elbow-drop onto Taker's leg. The dead man is noticeably gimpy as Mankind returns him inside. As Mankind goes to target that left leg with further offense, Undertaker kicks him off violently, pushing him all the way out of the ring with authority with just that leg. And then goes back to pretending to not be able to get back onto his feet because his leg is so injured. Then Mankind tries to drag Taker out by the bad leg, and again Taker just launches Mankind backward into the barricade with the bad leg. Nice psychology, jackass. Taker lifts Mankind (from the foundation that includes the bad leg, obviously) and drops him on the Spanish announce table (which stays intact) as Raw goes to another break.

Back to the match, as Mankind is valiantly still trying to make this limb attack a thing, attacking Taker's leg and Taker temporarily selling the leg as injured. Mankind tries to jump off the top, Taker catches him in a chokeslam position, but Mankind counters and puts him down. Mankind grabs a chair and charges Taker, who gets a big boot up (not the injured leg this time, at least) and kicks the chair into Mankind's face. Undertaker goes for the Tombstone. Mankind counters into the Mandible Claw, which is also supposed to be too injured to really use. Undertaker fades for a bit, but fights back up to his feet and breaks the hold. Mankind charges at Undertaker, Undertaker lifts him up for the Tombstone, acts like his leg is going to buckle, but completes the move and makes the pin.



Result: The Undertaker via pinfall

The Executioner runs in and attacks, driving his Asiatic spike into Undertaker's neck as the show goes off the air.

Overall: Also of the "inoffensive but pointless" variety. Well, slightly offensive in that they didn't use Steve Austin again this week. The whole show built around a blowoff of Taker-Mankind, but then they didn't actually give Taker the decisive victory from the standpoint that he won the match and then still ended the show in a compromised position. Nothing felt blown off. Anyway, overall this wasn't very good, but I've seen worse I guess.

---

Ratings for 12/9/96: Nitro 3.3, Raw 2.3
Ratings Running Score: Nitro 41-17-2

Better Show: Neither really impressed. Nitro's wrestling was a bit better, so that gets my vote.
Better Show Running Score: Nitro 47-13

Match of the Night: It's a weird choice because I didn't think too highly of it, but I'm going to give it to Undertaker vs. Mankind. As much as I got annoyed by some of the psychology lapses, it still had a big feel, and both guys did a decent job of bumping and brawling. The alternative was to give it to Dean Malenko vs. Jimmy Graffiti, and I just have too hard of a time giving it to a filler match compared to a match that WWF actually built its show around and tried to make into a big deal.

Don't worry, 80s Piper >>>> 1997 Piper.

I can say with about 85% certainty that Rotundo was in the nWo at some point.

Also, as we are a couple weeks away from Starrcade at this point, I will reiterate that they have left out one giant detail of the main event, but when Piper came out with Flair here, he alludes to it, but again nothing is ever mentioned.

There's a far greater chance of me missing a detail about the Piper/Hogan build than other stuff, since every single Piper/Hogan segment starts with me going, "<sigh>...okay..."

I think I know what the detail is. I remember being surprised about it too. It was like wtf?

Also, I assume when you watch these it is on WWE network? They don't cutout some of these crazy Woman/Benoit scenes? Guess WWE has relaxed on their hardline Benoit stance.

Yeah this is all WWE Network. The only noticeable thing they do with Benoit is make him unsearchable, so when I see a big gap in a show where no match is happening, there's a fair chance that there's actually a Benoit match in there.

Still better than anything in this feud.

I struggle to call that Piper/Morton Downey Jr. segment better than anything. I'm pretty sure the fact that it was my first exposure to Roddy Piper as a little kid basically still colors my perception of him to this day. It was so ****ing long.

WWF IN YOUR HOUSE 12: IT'S TIME

West Palm Beach, FL



Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and Jerry Lawler are our announce team. Jim Ross tells us that he thinks that Bret Hart is going to cause Sid to submit tonight, and will win the WWF Title for the fourth time.

Also, JR does not have time for Vince's nonsense tonight.



Leif Cassidy vs. Flash Funk: Though he's wearing the same gear, Leif Cassidy appears to have transitioned from a dorky character to some sort of angry psycho now. As Marty Jannetty seems to have quietly disappeared again, I suppose Cassidy's access to mood enhancers may have dried up. After Flash dances in his face a bit, the two lock up. Headscissor by Funk, countered into a headlock by Cassidy. They go hold-for-hold, with Flash dropping a leg along Cassidy's arm and then cinching in an armbar. Cassidy kips up, hammerlock, Funk somersaults through and escapes. Very enjoyable chain wrestling here early.

Funk botches a jump to the top rope, then botches a cross-body. Ah well. Cassidy whips him into the corner, Funk jumps out and lands his feet along Cassidy's shoulders, looks like he's going to transition into a headscissor move, but Cassidy re-counters and plants him with a hard facebuster. Unfortunately a bad camera angle brought down the spot, but it was still cool. Couple of headbutts by Cassidy, who throws a belly-to-belly that sends Funk over the top.



Somersault plancha by Cassidy over the top. Leif goes running down the aisle, then gets a running start and hammers Flash with a clothesline. When I saw that this match was happening, I had some hopes, but I assumed that it must not be that great since I barely remember it happening. It's delivering in a pretty big way. Cassidy rolls Funk back in, then hits a targeted dropkick at the back of Funk's head. Two-count. Reverse chinlock by Cassidy. Funk throws a leg up and kicks his way free from a seated position. Cassidy goes for a powerbomb, but Funk flips out and escapes. Dropkick by Funk. Funk charges Cassidy, Cassidy powerbombs him. Slow to cover, and he only gets two.



Front facelock by Cassidy, kind of akin to a dragon sleeper, but he doesn't have it on very well and ends up letting it go. Bodyslam, and he heads up top for a moonsault attempt that misses. Flash with an uppercut. Cassidy misses on a kick, and Flash connects on a Pele kick that knocks Cassidy from the ring. Nice over-the-top plancha from the ring to the floor by Funk. Again not a great camera angle…frustrating to say that twice in one match. He rolls Cassidy back in, connects on a beautiful moonsault, and surprisingly only gets two. I bit on that one.

Funk misses on a heel kick. Cassidy clotheslines him a bit sloppily. Goes for a pin, Funk counters into his own, counters back and forth between the two with each attempt getting a two-count. Back to a vertical base, Funk hits an enziguri. Corner whip by Flash, and a splash in the corner. Back suplex. Funk makes the signal for the 450 splash, heads up top, connects, and scores the pin. Really good match. Crowd was lukewarm at best, unfortunately making me feel like I need to leave it slightly short of four stars.



Result: Flash Funk via pinfall
Rating: ***3/4

Kevin Kelly with a backstage interview with British Bulldog, Owen Hart, and Clarence Mason. Kelly asks Bulldog about Steve Austin. Bulldog seems to lose his memory from one sentence to the next, as he says, "I don't care if Stone Cold Steve Austin is here tonight. I'm going to have my eye on Razor and Diesel. Stone Cold, if you're anywhere around, I'm coming out to get you." Owen steps in and tells Kelly to stop trying to rattle the Bulldog.

Tag Team Titles - Owen Hart & The British Bulldog (w/ Clarence Mason) vs. Razor Ramon 2.0 & Diesel 2.0: Owen vs. Diesel to start. Diesel flings Owen violently into the corner and follows him in with repeated knees. Corner whip, Owen jumps behind, tries to climb the ropes and perform a 10-punch, but Diesel throws him off hard again. Diesel powers Owen down, Owen kips up, Diesel press-slams him anyway. Two dudes from AAA, Cibernetico and Pierroth, come to ringside. Diesel clotheslines Owen hard over the top to the floor. Owen regroups and tags Davey Boy in, as Diesel tags out as well.

Arm-wringer by Razor, as the AAA athletes decide to leave without incident. Next distraction comes from Stone Cold Steve Austin, who strolls down to ringside. British Bulldog goes scurrying outside and jumps him. Officials separate the two and force Austin away, allowing the match to reboot again.



Back inside, Razor throws his tornado punch at Davey, but Davey is able to execute an arm-wringer and tags Owen back in. Razor with a clothesline and a corner whip, but his corner charge comes up empty, and Owen is quick on the spot with a missile dropkick. Owen tries to go off the ropes to follow, but Diesel pulls the top rope down and causes Owen to fall out of the ring. He then drops to the floor and rams Owen back-first into the steel post before throwing him back inside.

Razor with an armbar. Repeated stomps. Tag out to Diesel, who connects on a sidewalk slam. He rams Owen face-first into the raised boot of Razor, then tags Razor back in. Owen is functional face in peril, on the receiving end of a pumphandle suplex from Ramon. The heat segment continues a while longer, with the crowd breaking into a "Diesel sucks" chant that Jim Ross says he's personally offended by. Owen raises a boot on a Diesel corner charge, then follows with an enziguri, freeing him up to make the hot tag to Davey. Davey takes on both of the lame sequel reboots, hitting a legdrop on Razor and then a delayed suplex. Diesel breaks up the pin, in comes Owen, all four men fight.

Owen and Davey try to whip their opponents into each other, Razor reverses the whip on Owen, Owen jumps up to cross-body Diesel, Diesel catches him in mid-air, Davey dropkicks Owen in the back to knock both of those guys over the top to the floor. Bulldog goes for the running powerslam, Razor escapes, goes for the Razor's Edge, Owen is back in to connect on a spinning heel kick, and Davey rolls through for the pin. Jim Ross throws a temper tantrum about Owen being allowed to come in illegally. I remember this result being a relief, because the way they were playing at an Owen/Davey split and/or a Davey singles feud with Steve Austin really made it seem like they might put actual titles on this stupid Razor/Diesel reboot angle.



Result: Owen Hart & The British Bulldog via pinfall
Rating: **1/2

Steve Austin comes back out and jumps Bulldog during the post-match celebration, clipping his leg and leaving him injured. Owen isn't exactly on the spot to defend his partner, and only gets down and covers him after Austin has been backed off by the official. Jim Ross sort of starts to mention this, but then trails off; that's the only announcer mention of the same thing I saw.



Vince McMahon, in the ring, introduces Ahmed Johnson. Ahmed, rocking a big blue track suit, comes to the ring for an interview. Vince says that Ahmed vs. Faarooq will happen at the Royal Rumble. Ahmed says, "I lost my girlfriend, I lost my house, I lost my car." Not necessarily in that order. Ahmed starts passionately yelling some unintelligible **** until the Nation of Domination music starts playing. PG-13, alongside Faarooq, starts the rap from up in the upper levels of the audience. Faarooq calls Ahmed an "Uncle Tom" and says "you're the reason that your people are 50 years behind. Not my people. I'm starting my own race of people." He adds that he'll beat Ahmed "by any means necessary."



Ahmed leads the crowd in a "you're going down" chant to end the segment.

Video package recounting the Hunter Hearst Helmsley/Marc Mero feud. Todd Pettengill throws in a couple of Curt Hennig burials as he narrates the package.

Intercontinental Title - Hunter Hearst-Helmsley (c) vs. Marc Mero (w/ Sable): HHH comes down to the ring to the Ode to Joy segment of Beethoven's 9th. It was a good move up from the harp music he had been using up to this point. I have it in my mind that this was a fairly short-lived theme and that there was another one between this and his DX theme, but I might just be thinking of the short-lived bodyguard he introduces next month.

The men face off to open. JR: "They're nose-to-nose, that gives Helmsley the advantage!" Nice. After some standard early grappling, Mero throws a dropkick at HHH, clotheslines him out of the ring, and then follows him out with an axhandle to the floor that knocks Hunter into the barricade. HHH fights back with a kick to the gut, but gets backdropped after a reversed corner whip. Mero's 10-punch out of the corner mount is nicely countered into a snake eyes.



HHH does the thing where he sets a guy up for his finisher in a spot where it's incredibly over-the-top obvious that he's getting backdropped over the top rope instead. He must have learned that one from his kliq buddy Scott Hall. I ****ing HATE that. Mero gives chase, Helmsley uses Sable as a shield and then gets in a sucker-punch, followed by a whip into the steel steps. Slams the Wildman into the adjacent steps as well. Back into the ring, he gets a two-count with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before settling into an abdominal stretch. He gets caught using the ropes for leverage by referee Earl Hebner, Hebner kicks him loose, he shoves Hebner, and Hebner backs him down and barely stops short of stomping a mudhole in him.



HHH gets a boot up on a Mero corner charge, but Mero gets his own boot up when H follows him off with some sort of jumping move off the ropes. The challenger with an inverted atomic drop followed by a jumping clothesline. Running knee-lift, then he counters a tilt-a-whirl into a flying headscissor for two. Sets Hunter up on the top and executes a super hurracanrana. He signals and then heads up, presumably for the shooting star press, but HHH gets up, incidentally bumps Earl Hebner, and Hebner falls into the ropes and crotches Mero. Both men laid out, Hunter goes for the pin, 1-2-no.

Helmsley goes for the Pedigree. Mero counters into the catapult that sends Helmsley over the top into the steel post (the Beefcake/Perfect spot from WrestleMania VI). Marc can only get a near-fall though. Merosault gets another two. Ref bump when HHH ducks a clothesline and Mero clotheslines Hebner instead. Hunter executes a neckbreaker, goes and retrieves his title belt, Mero fights back and gets a visual pin on a jumping cradle, but Hebner is way too late to count to three. Wildman knocks Helmsley out, follows with a somersault plancha to the floor that barely connects. Here's Goldust, who collects the title belt, tries to hit Hunter with it but hits Mero instead, then he lays out Hunter with it as well. Both men are laid out, Hebner wakes up, it looks like a double countout but Mero actually manages to get up and beat the 10-count to get the countout win.



Result: Marc Mero via countout
Rating: **1/4

Sable smiles and celebrates the win like an idiot, but Mero redeems his character by being pissed in spite of binking the winner's purse. He goes the sore loser route, rolling Hunter back inside and hitting a shooting star press before leaving with the title belt anyway. Helmsley eventually wakes up and begins to leave, but Goldust lays him out in the aisle again. Jim Ross screams, "What on earth did Helmsley say to Marlena??" This story seems to have largely been playing out on Superstars or something…Helmsley did give a lecherous look to Marlena at a pre-match promo at Survivor Series when HHH and Goldust were teammates, but that's all the setup I can really recall on what I've written up.

Dok Hendrix is backstage with Sid for an interview. Sid invokes the transitive property of professional wrestling. "Shawn beat you. I beat him like a dog. So…<incoherent mumbling>"

Armageddon Rules Match - The Executioner (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. The Undertaker: This is sort of a Last Man Standing match. No DQ, no countout. Wrestler has to answer a 10-count after a pinfall or submission. Shouldn't a wrestler just instantly tap out to every submission hold immediately in order to force a break then?

Taker goes for his basic power arsenal, punches and kicks and a clothesline and a big boot. Albeit with rudimentary offense, Taker is trying to make this work, but the Executioner is slow and plodding and has very little to offer, and as much as Undertaker did improve in 1996, he certainly wasn't at a point of carrying a match. Bearer runs interference by hitting Taker with the urn, Taker no-sells and stays on offense. Mankind joins the fray and functionally turns this into a 2-on-1, but Undertaker fights both of them off. This whole setup is like if John Cena's final blowoff against The Miz was actually a matchup of John Cena vs. Alex Riley. Taker flings Mankind through the In Your House set.



They continue to fight in and around the set. JR, twice in the course of about 90 seconds, yells, "They're tearing the house down!" Well, nobody bats 1.000. Security runs out and maces Mankind, I guess incapacitating him so that we can return to one-on-one. The brawl between Undertaker and Executioner spills out into the concourse of the arena and then actually all the way out the exit, where they have no camera set up. We legitimately just stare at this for the better part of a minute:



Back in the ring, Mankind has been placed in a straitjacket by the same security who maced him. Outside the arena, we see The Executioner tumbling down a concrete slope into some sort of water. WTF is this match. Undertaker is back inside the arena, pursuing Mankind and attacking his helpless rival. Executioner returns to the fray, Taker promptly hits the Tombstone and gets the three-count. Executioner fails to answer the anticlimactic 10-count, the only 10-count that was attempted in the match, and The Undertaker is the winner.



Result: Undertaker via pinfall + 10-count
Rating: *

Dok Hendrix is with Bret Hart now. Bret spits a lot of fire at Shawn in his interview, saying he's been wanting to get his WWF Title back for eight months, and all along he's thought about Shawn Michaels, but Sid is the champ now and Shawn doesn't matter anymore. In mid-interview suddenly Shawn Michaels's music fills the arena, which makes Bret furious. "Why are they play HIS music?! It's MY time, it's MY interview, and everyone always cuts in with Shawn Michaels. Shawn Michaels. I am sick to death with Shawn Michaels. And as far as I'm concerned, after I win the World Wrestling Federation belt, I look forward to him." Fun interview segment…to no surprise, Bret has no problem selling emotional disgust toward Shawn Michaels.



Shawn Michaels is out for commentary for the main event.

WWF Title - Sid (c) vs. Bret Hart: Shawn is firing shots at Bret from the start of the match, calling him a "bitter, bitter jerk." He doesn't spare Sid though either, saying, "Sid is the most expensive piece of luggage, because you've got guys like me and other WWF superstars carrying him here, and carrying him there. Without us, Sid is a zero." I like how he has to deftly step around the fact that "other WWF superstars" basically just means "Bret" here.

Bret blindsides Sid before the bell and hammers away, but quickly loses the advantage when Sid reverses a corner whip and clotheslines him. Punches and stomps from the big man. Bret reverses the momentum and tries to chop Sid down with some lower body work, but Sid gets a slightly bigger share of the offense. He backdrops Bret over the top rope, goes outside and exposes the concrete floor by pulling the mat back, but Bret rams Sid into the post before Sid can follow through. The Hitman works the champion's back with repeated knee lunges, a backbreaker, and some measured elbow-drops to the back. The early stages of this match seemed a bit aimless, but I'm glad that Bret has at least hit on a story. As long as they're being really boring, at least they can be psychologically sound.



As referee Earl Hebner attends to Sid, Bret moseys over and unties a turnbuckle pad to expose the steel underneath. Sid blocks the ensuing turnbuckle smash, but Bret executes a back suplex that gets two. Russian legsweep does as well. Snap suplex. Aren't we a little early for the moves of doom? Second-rope elbow gets two. Hart goes up top, but Sid is up early and tosses him off. Sid adorably attempts to the sell a debilitating back injury for about five seconds and then totally forgets about it, going on offense. Scoop powerslam by the champ gets two. Sid legdrop misses, Bret goes for the Sharpshooter, Sid powerfully launches him out of the ring.



While Earl Hebner is distracted with Sid, Steve Austin runs in out of nowhere and clips the back of Bret's leg. Now here's the British Bulldog to take on Austin, and Owen Hart out to sort of hold Bulldog back. That whole mess ends up in the aisle, and a newly-hobbled Bret Hart comes back into the action. Sid takes advantage of Bret's new injury and attacks. Bret and Sid have some mess of a botchfest where Sid screws up a move where he was supposed to send Bret into the post underneath the bottom turnbuckle, then Bret tries to slam Sid into the exposed corner but Sid sidesteps and Bret gets run into the exposed corner instead.

Chokeslam by Sid. Bret kicks out at two. Sid misses on a clothesline when Bret ducks under, then Bret clotheslines Sid out over the top. Bret stumbles over and takes Shawn Michaels's chair away. Shawn dismissively says "fine, take it," then adds, "There's your role model, folks. Going for a chair." Sid attacks from behind before Bret can really get anywhere with the chair. Sid gets up in Shawn's face, I guess accusing him of trying to give a weapon to Bret. Shawn throws his hands up and says "I've got no problem with you," and then without any reasonable provocation Sid shoves Shawn down by the face.



That baits Shawn up onto the apron, Sid incidentally whips Bret into Shawn, powerbomb, 1-2-3, Sid retains.

Result: Sid via pinfall
Rating: *3/4



Bret, now sporting a bloody nose, is less than pleased with Shawn's involvement. He attacks Shawn outside the ring over the yelling protests of Jim Ross, and lays Shawn out as Sid's music fills the arena. Sid celebrates, Jim Ross says that Shawn may have inadvertently cost Bret the WWF Title, and Shawn picks up a headset and yells at Bret as Sid leaves with the belt. Fade to black.

Overall: Well…it was on the underwhelming side of okay. Mostly got progressively worse after a strong opener. The main event, while not a good match, did at least serve well to set up the Royal Rumble and beyond.

I had to think for a second as to who HHH's short-lived bodyguard was. Then I laughed when I remembered.

The lead up to WM13 was a great period for the WWF, all the top guys were at odds with one another and they really left you guessing where they were going next.

December 16, 1996

RAW

Tampa, FL

We open on an interview with Bret Hart, who angrily comes out and joins Jim Ross. Bret says that things have changed since he was gone. You can't tell anyone apart anymore, you don't know who your friends are, and you don't know who your enemies are. You don't know what the rules are. "The problem in the WWF is that there are no rules anymore." He calls out Shawn Michaels for contradicting his word and getting involved last night. Bret says that if there are no rules anymore, that's fine with him; he doesn't need them. He announces that he's going to enter the Royal Rumble.



He says he's going to head to ringside and have a little fun at the announce table. He heads over and joins the announce team as Vader's music hits.

Vader (w/ Jim Cornette) vs. Steve Austin: Austin jaws at Bret from the ring before the match begins. As the opening bell rings, Vince McMahon says, "Two consummate professionals in there!" In kayfabe: wat. These are two of the least professional characters in the company. Vader rains fists and forearms on Austin in the corner. The big man clotheslines Stone Cold and then knocks him down again. Nice high-impact Thesz Press by Austin, who returns the previous punches and then knocks Vader through the ropes as the crowd clearly gives him a face pop. Relentless, he follows him to the floor with an axhandle off the apron and then continues to stalk him as Raw goes to commercial.



The brawl continues at ringside after the break. We see a double feature of Austin taking a hard stair bump while the show was away. Vader flings Austin over the guardrail and into the crowd, then follows him, hitting him with a chair. Austin fights him back off, back over the guardrail and into the ring. Vader puts him down hard again once they're inside. Vader sets up for the Vaderbomb, but Austin gets up and crotches him. The two trade fists, then Vader backdrops Stone Cold over the top. Bret gets up from his announce position and makes a beeline for Austin, clipping his leg from behind and then slapping on the Sharpshooter. Obviously we have a disqualification. This was tremendous fun.



Result: Steve Austin via DQ

Bret won't release the Sharpshooter until Vader runs up and attacks. The two fight until they're separated. Bret doubles back for Austin, giving him a second dose of the Sharpshooter. It takes significant effort from officials to get Bret to release the hold.



Very mixed reaction from the crowd as Bret walks off, looking back with disdain.

We see a clip of the Ahmed Johnson/Faarooq promo segment from last night.

Razor Ramon 2.0 & Diesel 2.0 vs. The Godwinns: The Godwinns get a jobber entrance here, and no Hillbilly Jim. I don't know how much longer this whole Diesel/Razor nonsense can go on…certainly it disappears by WrestleMania, but I was hoping that losing the Tag Title match last night was the end of this. The teams do some sloppy and fairly worthless brawling until Henry Godwinn falls into a heat segment. After taking some punishment, Henry connects on a hard clothesline and makes the hot tag to Phineas. Phineas takes on both guys with some success, but Razor gets him set up for the Razor's Edge. Henry over to help, pulls Razor back and executes a Slop Drop. Diesel hits the Jackknife on Phineas, not very good-looking since Phineas is so heavy, but it still takes good strength to get him up like that at all. Razor rolls over and makes the pin.



Result: Razor & Diesel via pinfall

We get a pretty generic interview with Sid from backstage. Vince asks him if there's any doubt in his mind that he'll win at Royal Rumble. Boy, that's some strong interviewing. Sid says he's going to beat Shawn Michaels at Royal Rumble and warns Jose Lothario to stay away.

After commercial we hear from Shawn, who also gets the "so, you gonna win?" question. Nothing much here either.

Doug Furnas & Philip LaFon vs. TL Hopper & Dr. X: They just join this match in progress after talking to Shawn. Dr. X is some random masked dude described as a newcomer…a quick Google reveals that it's Tom Pritchard. Hell, "Dr. X" is still a better name than "Zip." Obviously this is just an enhancement match…jobbers get their token offense in, but Phil LaFon records the pin after hitting a t-bone suplex on Hopper for the win.



Result: Furnas & LaFon via pinfall

We hear from Billy Gunn backstage, vowing victory over his brother later tonight.

I've ignored every pre-taped backstage Karate Fighters tournament segment they've been doing on Raw and not including them in my recaps (cliffs: wrestlers and/or other personalities fight with action figures), but the finals here are between Jerry Lawler and Sable, and they bring this one out into the live arena. Sable brings Marc Mero out with him. Lawler is irritated by this and goes and gets Hunter Hearst-Helmsley to be his backup. Sable wins the Karate Fighters match. Lawler throws a fit and calls her a cheater. Marc Mero gets in his face. HHH attacks from behind, and he and Lawler double-team Mero. Goldust out for the save.

Mero and HHH fight out through the crowd, leaving Goldust and King in the ring. Lawler picks up a mic. "You and I got no beef. And I don't know what your problem is with Hunter Hearst-Helmsley. … Just because he apparently made a pass at Marlena? … Hunter Hearst-Helmsley is a handsome guy. He's the Intercontinental Champion. You should be happy for Marlena, that he would even make a pass at her. After all, he's a REAL man, if you know what I mean." Goldust visibly takes umbrage. King continues. "Whoa whoa, I'm not saying that you're not a man. It's just that, you know, you're a…well, you're a…aren't you?" Goldust: "A what?" Lawler: "Well you know, you're a…you're a…well aren't you??" Goldust: "What am I?" Lawler: "Well…queer. Aren't you?" Goldust says "No" and clocks Lawler to a big pop. We have just seen a very 1996 rendition of a face turn.



Marlena comes out and joins Goldust, who kisses her hand and leaves with her.

Billy Gunn vs. Bart Gunn: Both wrestlers come out to the same music. Billy jumps Bart before the bell, but Bart fights back quickly and has the advantage as the show goes to break. They show Bart's wife in the crowd, then Vince says that he believes that Billy's wife and two kids are here as well. Jim Ross says that this situation is tearing the whole family apart. Wait, Billy has a wife and kids now? The whole impetus for this Smoking Gunns breakup was that Billy so desperately wanted to bang Sunny that he couldn't concentrate properly on wrestling.

Billy with a neckbreaker. Bart reverses an Irish whip and then executes a stun gun that leaves Billy laid out.



Billy lays motionless as the announcers go into solemn voice over a potentially serious situation. Referee Earl Hebner stops the match. Bart is immediately grief-stricken. Billy's wife comes in crying and yells at Bart. Bart's wife is in too. Officials attend to Billy in the ring as Bart yells for them to go get some help.

Result: No Contest

After a commercial, medics are in the ring stabilizing Billy's neck and preparing to stretcher him off. On this note, the show goes off the air. I barely recall this angle, but I admittedly don't tend to remember things involving Billy Gunn.

Overall: Absolutely loved the early Bret/Austin/Vader stuff. The rest of the show was whatever. Still, that first quarter of the show is enough on its own to call this a pretty good show.

NITRO

Pensacola, FL

We start this show at the main announcer desk. Apparently Larry Zbyszko has been promoted from wearing Hawaiian shirts at ringside to wearing a blazer at the main desk. This makes way more sense than Tony Schiavone scurrying up the aisle at the one-hour change to a new announce team. Tony barely gets two words out when the nWo music hits. We've definitely reached a point where that music hits and I instantly sigh.



Eric Bischoff, Ted DiBiase, and Vincent emerge through the entryway. They tell Tony and Larry to leave. Larry resolutely says he isn't going to leave, and they're going to need more guys. Ted DiBiase basically says "you sure? Vincent, get him out of here." Then Larry just leaves on his own. I guess they didn't need more guys. Bischoff and DiBiase put on the headsets, apparently taking over as our announce team for the night. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. They talk some **** about Piper. Bischoff says, "Hollywood is in the house," then sends it to the ring for the first match.

TV Title - Lord Steven Regal (c) vs. Psicosis: We get a minor "USA" chant at the start. WTF. Psicosis encourages it as if they're doing it in support of him. Maybe they are? It doesn't make sense no matter what. Tie-up into a Regal armbar. Psicosis flips and counters into his own…the crowd is clearly in full voice behind Psicosis here, so I guess that chant earlier was meant as anti-Regal. Regal counters back, executing an armdrag and throwing in a few of those wonderful palm strikes, and the enjoyable mat wrestling continues as the show goes to break.

After commercial, Psicosis counters Regal into an armbreaker, then ducks a clothesline and hits a spinning heel kick. He knocks Regal out of the ring with rolling thunder and then connects an over-the-top dive to the floor. I can't recall seeing a crowd so hot for Psicosis. I don't even think he's an actual babyface.



Psicosis rolls Regal back inside, executes a sunset flip off the top, but only gets two. Dropkick, then he sets Regal up on the ropes and hits a super hurracanrana for another two. Guillotine legdrop off the top, slow cover, two. Regal finally gets his first move in a while on a nice release German suplex. Regal has to spend a while recovering himself here, and Psicosis is actually up a little bit before him and connects (not very well) on a somersault kick for two.

Regal is able to subdue Psicosis with a chinlock, then transitions into something of a full nelson on the mat. Back up to a vertical base, Lord Steven hits a series of punches and then connects on a butterfly suplex. The Brit sets Psicosis up top, appears to set up for a butterfly superplex, but Psicosis punches him off and then hits a top-rope splash for a near-fall. The masked man hits a superkick, then goes to follow with some move, likely the start of a headscissor, where he jumps up on Regal's shoulders, but Regal blocks and slams him down to the mat, then slaps on the Regal Stretch to escape with the submission victory. Nice match.



Result: Lord Steven Regal via submission

We see clips of a recent match between Rick Steiner and Big Bubba, where Sting attacked Steiner and Bubba polished Steiner off.

Big Bubba vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.: Chavo does the stick-and-move thing early, connecting on a couple of dropkicks, but he tries to follow Bubba out of the ring with a pescado, and Bubba catches him and slams him on the floor. Chavo continues to show heart and tries to bring the big man down, but Bubba catches him in a Boss Man Slam to take down a quick match.



Result: Big Bubba via pinfall

Mean Gene Okerlund is with Sonny Onoo and Masa Hiro Chono. Onoo says that he's been helping Chono negotiate a contract with NJPW. Chono opens up his jacket and reveals an nWo shirt. Onoo is caught off-guard. Chono says something in (presumably) Japanese. Gene: "What did he just say?" Onoo: <starts repeating Chono's words in Japanese> Gene: "IN ENGLISH, YOU IDIOT!" Chono grabs Onoo and tosses him to the ground as Bischoff and DiBiase celebrate from the broadcast table. And with that, "Masa MY HERO Chono HAR HAR HAR" is born.



Masa Hiro Chono vs. Chris Jericho: Jericho with a series of kicks. Chono no-sells a shoulderblock, then connects on a mafia kick. No sign of a Yugoslavian neckbreaker. Chono works Jericho over methodically and fairly uninterestingly. Jericho punches back outside the ring, but Chono wins the exchange with the more effective punches. Back inside the ring, Chono is no-selling Jericho again. I'm getting some serious Scott Norton vibes here. Chono with an inverted atomic drop. Jericho reverses a corner whip, but impact with the corner has no effect, and Chono gets a boot up on Jericho's charge.

Jericho hits a superplex and then a spinning wheel kick that does get two. He basically completely misses on a spinning elbow off the top that I assumed was a designed miss, but Chono reacts like it hit. Thankfully there's no real difference, since apparently Chono's reaction to getting hit is to absorb the blow. He no-sells a clothesline and then sidesteps Jericho's ensuing charge, leaving Jericho spilling through the middle rope. The match gets a garbage ending when Jericho gets his leg caught up in the bottom rope and Chono keeps attacking instead of letting the referee get him loose…the referee disqualifies Chono. I remember not thinking that Chono was very good back in the day, but he looked significantly worse than "not very good" here.



Result: Chris Jericho via pinfall

We get clips of the various Roddy Piper segments from last week. Please stop making me relive those.

Mean Gene brings out Ric Flair (rocking a Florida Gators windbreaker like a pandering idiot), Arn Anderson, Mongo McMichael, and Debra. No Chris Benoit, no Woman. Arn: "The fact of the matter is, over the course of history, the kiss of a beautiful woman has poisoned a lot of great minds. Sullivan, yours wasn't the first, Benoit, yours won't be the last." That said, with Sullivan blaming Arn for the situation, Arn vows to break him tonight.



Debra talks **** about Woman and calls Benoit "a little boy," then rambles terribly for a while about winning a beauty pageant at some point in the past. She forces me to talk about just how terrible she was in 1996 every time she gets mic time. Mongo gives Arn a pep talk. Flair cuts a promo about how Piper is going to beat Hogan at Starrcade.

Cruiserweight Title - Dean Malenko (c) vs. David Sammartino: Wat. Yes, this is David Sammartino, son of Bruno, who never amounted to anything. Definitely had no idea he was still wrestling in 1996, or that he ever turned up in WCW. Sammartino goes tit-for-tat with Malenko on mat wrestling for a minute or two, but then the match ends quickly on what seems to be an obvious ref botch. Malenko puts David in a double chicken wing, then turns him over and pins his shoulders down…David kicks out, Dean releases the hold, and it certainly didn't seem like an ending spot…but referee Mark Curtis counts to three and calls for the bell. Dean stoically accepts the belt and leaves.

Let's go to the replay booth and see whether Malenko had Sammartino pinned at the time of the three-count:



Shades of the New Blood gauntlet match. Perhaps Sammartino was being pinned by the shadow of his father. According to Wikipedia, this was David's only televised WCW match.

Result: Dean Malenko via pinfall

We hit the end of the first hour, and Eric Bischoff calls for Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Bobby Heenan to come out to finish the show. Good.

Jerry Flynn vs. Ice Train (w/ Teddy Long): I'd forgotten about Jerry Flynn. This is his Nitro debut. He has a terrible mullet. Ice Train turns him inside out with a clothesline. Train hits his high-elevation jumping splash. Some token offense from Flynn later, Train locks on an ankle lock and earns the submission win. Pretty nothing enhancement match.



Result: Ice Train via pinfall

The Outsiders' mascot, Syxx, comes out and introduces The Outsiders.



Kevin Nash was such a ****ing douchebag. Anyway, The Outsiders say they don't have to wait until Starrcade: they'll take on the Faces of Fear tonight. As they start to leave, Scott Hall doubles back and says, "You tell those two savages we want an answer before the end of the night." You want an answer tonight on whether or not they'll do something tonight? You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Hall.

Bobby Eaton vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.: Before this match starts, Tony Schiavone says that he just got word that the Faces of Fear accepted The Outsiders' challenge for tonight. I guess they met the deadline. Rey throws a couple of armdrags. Eaton, sporting the size advantage, pulls ahead in the match, temporarily takes control, executing a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A misguided dive to the floor runs Eaton into the barricade, and then Rey connects on a suicide dive.



Mysterio botches a reverse hurracanrana to pull Eaton back into the ring, then gets a two-count anyway. Spinning heel kick, springboard dropkick, and a split-legged moonsault by Rey get another two. Eaton reverses a whip and throws a clothesline. Eaton looks so old and slow at this point. That doesn't inhibit him from slapping on a reverse chinlock here. He actually connects on a top-rope kneedrop, but of course it doesn't get a three-count either. He tries going back up the ropes to follow up, but Rey makes an overly-quick spring back to his feet, sprints to the corner, super hurracanrana, 1-2-3.

Result: Rey Mysterio Jr. via pinfall

After commercial, here's the latest grainy video of Chris Benoit and Woman in Europe. More of the same, just the both of them taunting Kevin Sullivan.



Kevin Sullivan (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Arn Anderson: Sullivan meets Arn in the aisle and attacks early. They brawl toward ringside, where Sullivan throws a steel chair at Anderson. Anderson tries to hit Sullivan with the same chair, but misses. The brawl heads into the crowd…the announcers openly say that they don't think that this is supposed to be falls count anywhere, but referee Mark Curtis is just struggling to get things under control. They finally make their way into the ring. Anderson slugs Mark Curtis and then DDTs him. Sullivan hits the stupid double stomp, but doesn't bother with the visual pin…he hangs Arn up in the tree of woe, then charges, but Anderson kicked the charging Sullivan.

Hugh Morrus hits the ring and immediately eats an Anderson DDT. Here's Konnan, who gets knocked off the apron but then feeds a wooden chair to Anderson. Where the **** are the Horsemen? Jimmy Hart revives the referee, and we have a three-count.



Result: Kevin Sullivan via pinfall

Mongo arrives super late, after the Dungeon of Doom has already started leaving. Way to make yourself useful, Mongo.

Scheduled up next is Sting vs. Rick Steiner. Steiner makes a normal entrance with brother Scott alongside. Sting is up in the rafters, then eventually makes his way through the crowd to the ring. As he's coming through the ring, they cut to a different camera angle and an obviously fake Sting walking through the crowd somewhere else, and for some reason the announcers just play clueless and pretend that this fake is the same guy that was otherwise walking through the ring. The fake one and the real one both enter the ring, so the announcers clue in.

Fake Sting acts friendly with real Sting, but real Sting isn't having it. They both threaten each other with black baseball bats, but real Sting knocks fake Sting's bat away. Scott Steiner picks it up. Then real Sting tosses his bat to Rick Steiner. Both of the Stings turn their back like Sting has done before with some of these guys, but then real Sting executes a Scorpion Death Drop on the imposter.



Tony Schiavone calls it a message to the nWo, and decides that this attack on fake Sting means that the answer is clearly that Sting is not nWo. I mean…okay. This whole segment was pretty stupid.

After commercial, the nWo music plays, and here comes Hulk Hogan, The Giant, Miss Elizabeth, Vincent, and Ted DiBiase. I still don't actually understand how Elizabeth is a member of this group, but here we are. Hogan calls Piper out, daring him to come out. Tony Schiavone says that Hogan knows that Piper isn't here. Hogan obnoxiously calls him out for several minutes until Ted DiBiase whispers to him…Hogan announces that Piper just ran out the back door. After several painful minutes, we finally get to the whole point of the segment, the Hogan posedown. At least they don't seem to be ending the episode on this one.



The Outsiders vs. The Faces of Fear (w/ Jimmy Hart): The two teams brawl pretty hard for about a minute until Big Bubba runs in.



Well I certainly don't know how WCW is going to survive now that the nWo has secured Chono and Big Bubba.

Result: No Contest

The other Dungeon of Doom members run in to rally to the support of the Faces of Fear, then the locker room continues to empty. M. Wallstreet appears to be in the mix with an nWo shirt on, so I guess there's another jobber in the group after that segment with DiBiase last week. Scott Norton attacks Ice Train and then seems to exclusively fight with WCW people, so despite his blue shirt he seems to be nWo now too. Sting comes into the ring, Arn Anderson tries to attack him, Sting fires back and puts Anderson down. Mongo comes to Arn's aid more quickly this time, but Sting puts him down as well. Rey Mysterio Jr. jumps on Sting's back, and Sting flings him off and then leaves.



As Sting walks off, Tony says, "He didn't hit an nWo member. Maybe he IS nWo!" Whatever. Then the show ends.

Overall: More bad than good. Regal vs. Psicosis was a strong match, Sullivan vs. Arn was entertaining while it lasted, but the nWo stuff is mostly really terrible at this point, and it's pervasive. Anyway, I don't know…I've seen worse.

---

Ratings for 12/16/96: Nitro 3.2, Raw 2.3
Ratings Running Score: Nitro 42-17-2

Better Show: Too strong of an opener by Raw, and too much dead weight on Nitro. Raw wins the night.
Better Show Running Score: Nitro 47-14

Match of the Night: Steve Austin vs. Vader

Fyp

Right around this time is where I gave up on WCW because I hated the Sting story line and Austin reeking chaos was gold.

Huh, it looks like you're right. Looks like t-bone suplex is synonymous with exploder. That's annoying since I actually Googled to see if the move he used was an exploder, and then when it wasn't my reaction was to apparently just call it another name for the same thing.

I'd heard how WCW won the ratings war for a year and a half on the back of a hot nwo angle. This stuff is miserable.

Yes, it is. The initial invasion was tremendous, and then they immediately lost their way. I'm struggling to remember what the **** even goes on during the next year of programming. The nWo is the worst part of the show by far, and unfortunately it also takes up at least 75% of each episode.

I'm not near a tap-out yet, but there's only so much bad WCW I would be able to watch before eventually losing my WIM entirely.

WCW did win the ratings war for a time primarily on the back of the hot NWO angle. Or at least the stars that composed the angle. I mean, it wasn't the difference in in ring work. WCW had much better wrestling most years than WWF in terms of top of the card to the bottom since WCW became WCW in the 80s. WCW would often throw in a great star vs star match even on Sunday morning C shows in the early 90s when WWF was 95% jobber vs star matches. A lot of people obviously hate the NWO angle, but it drew huge ratings and sold a ton of merch.

Reading through the results from late 96, generally if Nitro ended with the NWO, after Nitro went off the air the NWO would get laid out by somebody. Interesting that they gave the houses a different ending than they gave the TV audience.

From what I recall, it got better in '97 than late '96. They started doing more, WCW guys started getting some wins and the upperhand in segments. '98 when they split off into 2 groups was when it became worse. But who knows, might be nWo nostalgia.

97 is generally thought if as better with 98 being close either way in comparison to 97.