April 15, 1996

RAW

San Bernandino, CA

Opening video shows preview clips of some footage from Bret Hart at WrestleMania after he lost, as well as a taped interview he did from Germany afterward. I suppose I shouldn't have said "not to be seen on WWF TV again for a number of months" or whatever, but he doesn't appear in a live arena for a long time anyway.

Marc Mero (w/ Sable) vs. Leif Cassidy (w/ Marty Jannetty): Sable officially debuts as Mero's valet here. She's a smoke show. For the most part Leif Cassidy doesn't really like act heelish; he's mostly just a huge nerd and that's supposed to be off-putting. Jannetty does level Mero with a cheap shot blindside clothesline outside the ring though. Cassidy hits a nice-looking somersault plancha coming back from break, but the edit misses the first part of the move. Surprised he used that move here, since it's a Mero signature.



Mero hits a fun carousel headscissor takeover that sends Cassidy out, then follows him out with his own somersault plancha. Back in the ring, he follows up with a sunset flip off the top that gets the three-count. Was he actually using a sunset flip as his finisher? That has won his first two matches.

Result: Marc Mero via pinfall

Vince interviews Diesel by phone, expressing his disgust with Diesel for laying out Shawn Michaels last week. Vince also said that Diesel, later that night, suckered him into agreeing to a no DQ stip for their PPV match. That stipulation was a very, very good idea.

They show a clip of this past weekend on Superstars, where a masked dude named The Caribbean Kid upset Steve Austin, then removed his mask to reveal himself as Savio Vega.

Steve Austin (w/ Ted DiBiase) vs. Bart Gunn: Second straight match of a full-time tag team wrestler just in there to be an enhancement talent for a newer midcarder. Bart takes a hard over-the-top bump.



I was critical of Austin's early ringwork in one of these recent writeups, but he does some very entertaining work here, controlling the lion's share of the offense. Tip of the cap to Bart Gunn for doing a pretty good job of putting all of Austin's stuff over well. This match seemed to show a shifting of gears for the way that SCSA approached matches. As The Ringmaster, he mostly tried to stick with technical wrestling, but he showed quite a bit of ruthlessness here. As predictable as this result was, they let Bart be pretty competitive here, and it turned out to be a good match. Austin goes over clean with the Million Dollar Dream.

Result: Steve Austin via submission

Vince McMahon in the ring with Vader and Jim Cornette. Vince announces that Vader will face Razor Ramon at the upcoming In Your House. Cornette threatens that Razor Ramon's career is about to take a sharp downturn. Whoops.

Music video next, featuring a montage of Sunny in various swimsuits and other skimpy outfits.

Intercontinental Title - Goldust (c) vs. Savio Vega: As was far too common of Goldust matches at this point, he spends literally over half the damn time playing the gimmick and stalling instead of actually wrestling. At one point he actually stops to pick up a mic and threaten that if the crowd doesn't shut up, he'll go out there and kiss each and every one of them. Whatever. During a ref bump, Marlena feeds the title belt in to Goldust to use as a weapon, but Savio gets it away from him and waffles him with it instead.



The referee comes to, counts the pin for the 1-2-3, and we have a new Intercontinental Champion. … Nope, no we don't. A second referee and Gorilla Monsoon both enter, and it looks like Dusty finish time. It sort of is. Gorilla's decision is to strip Goldust of the title, but not to give it to Savio. He declares it vacant and orders a rematch between the two next week. Well this one was completely terrible, so I'm certainly looking forward to that.

Result: No Contest, Goldust stripped of IC Title

As previewed at the start of the show, they show footage of Bret Hart directly after losing the WWF Title at WrestleMania. He's mad and tells the media to **** off. They go forward to a pre-taped interview with Bret in Germany. He shares his gripes about what happened to him at Mania. In kayfabe he certainly had a point and absolutely got screwed over.



Later in the interview: "I could never ever see working for another organization, because I think it would be a step down, and as I understand it there are certain wrestling organizations that are throwing a lot of money around, but I want to make it understood that I'm not greedy for money. I'm greedy for respect. And the only place I'm going to get respect is in the World Wrestling Federation." He expresses his desire for a rematch for the title, and he says he absolutely hopes to get one. On those words, the show goes off the air.

Overall: Well the Goldust/Savio stuff took all the air out of the show, but I enjoyed the Steve Austin-Bart Gunn match a decent bit and I also liked the Bret interview. So on balance, not too bad of a show.

NITRO

Charleston, WV

We skip the usual intro at the broadcast desk and start right off with Hulk Hogan's music. He enters and finds himself in a handicap match against Kevin Sullivan and Arn Anderson. Apparently the story is that the Booty Man suffered an injury on WCW Saturday Night (real or kayfabe, no idea at this point), so Hogan just said he would do it 1-on-2. And apparently there are stipulations where the winner gets 5 minutes alone with the other side's manager(s), in Hogan's case the Booty Babe? What the **** kind of stipulation is that? Anyway, on with the match.

Handicap Match - Hulk Hogan (w/ The Booty Babe) vs. Arn Anderson & The Taskmaster (w/ Woman, Elizabeth, & Jimmy Hart): As you might expect, this match sucks. Kick-punch-kick-punch for 95% of the match. Hogan singlehandedly takes both of these guys on, incapacitates Arn with a back suplex, then bodyslams Kevin Sullivan and drops the leg for a quick 1-2-3. Man, **** that. He just won an 8-on-2 match at the PPV. Why the hell does he keep needing to go over these people?



Result: Hulk Hogan via pinfall



Hulk goes outside and pushes Woman into the ring. He then points the finger at Elizabeth and directs her to get in the ring. Woman immediately throws Liz under the bus and holds her in front, saying take her and not me. At this point Hogan spots Jimmy Hart tending to the Taskmaster, and that gets his attention to him. He rips half of Jimmy Hart's shirt off and delivers a big boot to Jimmy. Umm, is that what he was going to do to Woman and Liz?

At this point The Giant has had enough and marches down to ringside for the save. Sets up for the chokeslam, but Hogan fights his way out of the choke, hits a big boot, executes the bodyslam, and at that point Mean Gene comes into the ring and taps on Hogan's shoulder. Gene nearly gets slammed too, before Hulk realizes who he is and sets him down.



Gene points the mic to Hogan and Hogan yells some "I'm so great" platitudes before posing his way to the end of the segment. My desire to see Hogan get the **** out has never been greater. I'm blown away by how terrible these first ~10 minutes have been. Holy ****.

They go to the announce desk, I guess to give the delayed start to the show. Eric Bischoff says that we're going to see Ric Flair and The Giant vs. Sting and Lex Luger in the main event. They chat a bit about that, and about the possibility of a confrontation between Flair and Randy Savage, and then send it back to the ring. They make it sound like there's been some angle advancement on the weekend programming that has left Savage especially furious with Ric Flair and his entourage.

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys: Public Enemy is first to enter, but they get greeted somewhat rudely.



This seems to be a tornado street fight, as referee Nick Patrick does nothing to deter any normally illegal activity. I loved the work these two teams did at Clash of the Champions earlier in the year. This one is alright; not bad I guess, but no particularly interesting bumps or spots to speak of. Johnny Grunge attempts to put Brian Knobbs through a table, Knobbs moves, Grunge goes through it, Knobbs pins him for the win.

Result: Nasty Boys via pinfall

Public Enemy attack after the match, and combine to put Jerry Sags through a table at ringside.

Earl Robert Eaton (w/ Jeeves) vs. Randy Savage: Eric Bischoff: "It's interesting that Randy Savage is wearing green while Elizabeth is throwing his green around." No Eric, that's not at all interesting. That's incredibly forced. Eaton gets some offense in on Savage, and then rubs it in by doing the Flair strut and applying the figure-four leglock. Jeeves actually runs a bit of interference here and gets chased to the back by Savage. Eaton tries to attack from behind, but Savage counter-attacks, rolls him into the ring, bodyslam --> elbow drop and we have a winner.



Result: Randy Savage via pinfall

Savage then randomly attacks the referee after the bell. He goes up top for another flying elbow on Eaton, a bunch of babyfaces stand in the way, and he jumps through them and connects on another elbow anyway. At that point they combine to restrain him, and one of the backstage officials actually cuffs him to keep him under control as they walk him back. It's sold as if they're doing it for his own good.

Tag Team Titles - Sting & Lex Luger (c) vs. Ric Flair & The Giant (w/ Woman and Miss Elizabeth): Ric Flair sees Debra McMichael at ringside again, and again hits on her before entering the ring. Mongo says she's got way too much class for him. Unfortunately Sting and Luger's entrance features Luger walking right alongside Sting and high-fiving fans along the way instead of repeating the greatness of their last joint entrance. I still think we've morphed into full generic babyface Lex Luger.

Fun early action between Sting and Flair. Amidst a flurry of offense at Flair, Sting dropkicks Giant off the apron to the floor. Then there's a funny sequence where Sting throws Flair out of the ring, Giant catches Flair and promptly rolls him back in, Luger press slams Flair out over the top, Giant catches him and then instantly rolls him back into the ring again. Flair stands up and turns around, furious at his partner for continuing to throw him back into the lion's den before he's ready. After nearly getting rolled up for the pin, he actually races out of the ring, runs and chops The Giant, then continues running all the way to the locker room as the show goes to commercial.



By the time the show comes back, both Flair and The Giant are back and operating on the same page. They actually get control of the match pretty quickly as well, doing a heat segment on Luger. Lex eventually makes the hot tag to Sting, who mops the floor with Flair and pretty quickly gets him in the Scorpion Deathlock after a superplex. Liz runs distraction on the referee, Woman comes in wielding another cup of coffee in Lex Luger's direction, Luger ducks and the hot coffee splashes on Sting. Hey, ambiguous Luger motives again! Immediately upon coffee impact the bell rings, and we have a disqualification.

Result: Sting & Luger via DQ



(I don't actually know why Woman was stroking the WCW Title belt and looking seductively at the camera directly after this match, but there it is.)

The broadcast desk wraps the show, and we're done here.

Overall: So the show started with the most egregiously terrible first 10 minutes in series history, but the main event was fun enough that I had sort of forgotten about that by the time the show ended. So they did quite a bit of damage control, and I didn't hate the whole episode as a result. Really though, **** Hulk Hogan. Go away.

---

Ratings for 4/15/96: Raw 3.1, Nitro 2.8
Ratings Running Score: Nitro, 14-12-2

Better Show: I don't know. I liked Nitro's main event better than anything on Raw, but Nitro also had a lower low than Raw's low (the terrible Goldust-Savio match). This is virtually a tie. I'll throw the decision to Raw this week as a punishment to Nitro for the start of their show.
Better Show Running Score: Nitro 22-6

Match of the Night: Sting & Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair & The Giant

If there was ever a self fulfilling prophecy it was this. To think people say that Russo was sent to WCW to destroy it. I also can't be the only one who wasn't even a Bret fan who was excited and waited and waited to see him on Nitro to only be underwhelmed and not return to Nitro for months after to see if it was better.

Hogan used his creative control to become the booker of himself during this time. The 8 vs 2 crazy cage match was supposed to be a different kind of 4v1 match, and around a week before the PPV Hogan changed it by written memo to the 8v2 gimmick match without actually informing people what the rules were supposed to be (and since he clearly didn't know during the match, nobody did.). The Observer ran a piece around this time asking whether WCW would be better off without him even though Hulk was known to be the greatest PPV draw of all time because of all the negatives, and because Saturday Night (which Hogan rarely went on) was doing amazing ratings.

April 22, 1996

NITRO

Albany, GA

Eric Bischoff opens by announcing that we're getting a rematch of Sting & Luger vs. Ric Flair & The Giant. New twist this time: all titles are on the line. If anyone pins Flair, they become the new World Champion. Bischoff: "That means anybody. It could mean The Giant." Wat. He could pin his own tag team partner? Anyway, Luger is TV champ as well, so it's those two singles belts and the tag belts I guess. Bobby Heenan says that there's an overload in the security in the back tonight, and you would think the president was there. But it's because of Randy Savage, who they don't think they can keep in control by normal means. To the ring we go.

Bischoff goes the spoiler route again, says that WWE is a taped show and starts giving away spoilers. "The Rupaul impersonator, the transvestite, Goldust, beats Savio Vega to regain the Intercontinental Title. Mankind defeats Aldo Montoya. Vader defeats Fatu." Not gonna lie, I don't love getting spoiled on everything in advance, but it's part of the Monday Night Wars experience, so I'm spoiling it before you get to that part of the writeup too.

Public Enemy vs. American Males American Males American Males: Alright, Public Enemy doesn't need to be a weekly fixture. Eric Bischoff throws a shoutout to Brian Pillman, who got in a serious car accident and was now recovering. Alright, didn't really know when that happened, but this timing does seem about right for that. This match is generally boring and bad. Rocco misses with a somersault sentan, Marcus Bagwell was down but makes the hot tag to Scotty Riggs. Amid four-way chaos, Public Enemy combines to blatantly throw Riggs out over the top to trigger the lamest rule in wrestling, the automatic DQ for intentionally doing that.

Result: American Males via DQ



Public Enemy combines to put Scotty Riggs through a table outside the ring after the DQ. I mean, I like people going through tables on occasion, but PE was just so one-note. There are some serious diminishing returns with doing it every damn appearance.

After commercial, Mean Gene is standing with two random women, who he says have drawn the first round of teams for the Slamboree Lethal Lottery. This was an event where people would draw their tag team partner for the night at random, then they would be put into a tournament, and at some point the remaining survivors would do a battle royal to become "Lord of the Ring" or something. The already-announced (I guess) matchups include Hugh Morrus/Meng vs. Barbarian/"Hard Work" Bobby Walker and Stevie Ray/Big Bubba vs. Scott Norton/Ice Train. ****, Bobby Walker was on a PPV outside of maybe that 60-man battle royal? That's a surprise. They draw a new segment here: Ric Flair/Randy Savage vs. Arn Anderson/Eddie Guerrero. Well that's kind of cliché, but it's a nice collection of talent anyway. I believe I've seen that match and enjoyed it.

Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero: Right away Eddie whips Benoit to the match with multiple lightning-quick armdrags followed by a dropkick. I missed watching these two go, and I'm glad it's back.



Bischoff mentions that Chris Benoit lost to Shinjiro Otani in Japan recently in the WCW Cruiserweight Title tournament, and is trying to hold Eddie Guerrero down here. If I haven't mentioned it, there was no semblance of rhyme or reason to this alleged tournament, and they never made clear what counted or gave brackets or anything. Suddenly one day there's an inaugural champion.

This is a pretty good match. Not a particularly great one. It ends when Eddie goes for a sunset flip near the corner, Benoit grabs a rope, sits down, and continues to cling to the rope to stay on top for the pinfall.



Result: Chris Benoit via pinfall

I'm not sure if I've seen Eddie beat Benoit up to this point in 1996.

After commercial, Mean Gene is with a random old dude in a suit and introduces him as Rob Garner (I think), a VP at WCW. Gene is about to discuss Randy Savage with him when Savage himself comes out of the back. Garner threatens that Savage's career will be severely impacted if Savage doesn't quit crossing the line. Savage is in hyper-intense mode, gets in this Garner guy's face. Garner says that if he can't control himself, he should probably seek professional help. Savage: "Oh really, you're telling me I need a psychiatrist. Well I think YOU need a psychiatrist for standing there like a little, little, little stupid person, yeah!" Good one, Randy. Savage rages a bit longer at this guy and then leaves.



Meng vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan: What in the blue **** kind of way is this to follow Eddie vs. Benoit? The announcers don't really pay any attention to this match either, talking about the company's other angles for most of it. To be fair, I'm not sure what else they would put over here. Duggan rolls out of the ring late, tapes his fist since he's apparently still doing that ****, and clocks Meng on the way back in to put him down for the three-count.



Result: Hacksaw Jim Duggan via pinfall

Mean Gene is with the same women as earlier. At Slamboree, Alex Wright will team with Disco Inferno to face Earl Robert Eaton and Dirty Dick Slater. They draw another match: Lord Steven Regal and the Belfast Bruiser vs. VK Wallstreet and Hacksaw Jim Duggan. I know, I know, OMG, rivals teaming in the case of Regal and Finlay.

Multiple Titles on the Line - Ric Flair & The Giant (w/ Woman, Liz, and Jimmy Hart) vs. Sting & Lex Luger:



I feel you, Ric. Flair hits on Debra McMichael at ringside once again, kissing her hand this time. Mongo slightly bristles, but they move on. Randy Savage hits the ring hard, but the police swarm in and cuff him. Flair stomps at him while he's being handcuffed.

Into the match. As Sting does the spot where he attempts a Stinger Splash as his opponent is against the guardrail and he ends up just taking the bump as his opponent dodges, I'm left wondering: does his opponent ever NOT dodge the splash out there? It seems like one of those spots that literally never works. I've always basically liked the spot, but I'm starting to realize that it was hurt by its predictability.

Late in the match, Sting and Luger double-team The Giant to put him down, then begin to slowly stalk Ric Flair into the corner. Flair reaches behind, and Woman is there with another cup of hot coffee to feed to Flair. He goes to use it, Sting and Lex sidestep, and the coffee hits The Giant after he had just gotten to his feet as well. As The Giant writhes in pain, referee Randy Anderson calls for the bell. Why would you stop the match there? That's a terribly cheap ending given the stipulation they advertised all show of so many titles being on the line.

Result: No Contest



After the match, The Giant takes umbrage. Flair begs on his knees for forgiveness and then rolls to the outside and runs off. Mean Gene arrives in the ring, The Giant yells a bunch of incoherent stuff at Flair and then threatens to beat Flair next week and take his title. From a safe distance near the announce desk, Flair yells back that he tried to apologize, but The Giant didn't like it, and now Flair is mad. He said, "You have until the end of the show to apologize, or next week I'll kick your big ass." Giant immediately bolts from the ring toward him and of course Flair takes off. Guess that's our main event for next time.

Eric Bischoff apologizes for Flair saying "ass." Whatever. Bischoff says he just heard in his headset that Flair vs. Giant for the title is definitely a go for next week. They babble a bit longer and then sign off.

Overall: Weak. Benoit vs. Guerrero was pretty good, and the main event tag match would have been decent if not for that terrible ending, but the ending happened and everything else on the show was bad.

RAW

San Bernandino, CA

We open right away on Goldust's entrance. We get the highlights of last week, when the IC Title got vacated after Savio went over dirty by hitting Goldust with his title belt.

Intercontinental Title - Goldust (w/ Marlena) vs. Savio Vega: Well I appreciate that Goldust actually wrestles this match from bell to bell like a normal wrestler instead of spending half the match on his character's histrionics, but unfortunately the wrestling they do is really boring. We get an incoherent Ultimate Warrior PIP promo on Goldust during a rest hold.

Steve Austin strolls down toward ringside with Ted DiBiase during the match. During a ref distraction by Marlena, Austin goes up and wallops Vega hard with the Million Dollar Belt. Goldust covers for the 1-2-3, and I guess he is now a two-time Intercontinental Champion.



Result: Goldust via pinfall, new Intercontinental Champion

Video promo to hype the upcoming Shawn Michaels/Diesel PPV match.

Vader (w/ Jim Cornette) vs. Fatu: They show intros, then go to break, and then the match is in progress when they come back. No matter; it's mostly just a squash match even though Fatu does get to hit the top rope splash. Much love to Fatu for the way he always sold hard clotheslines.



Vader teases the Vaderbomb, then goes all the way to the top and hits the moonsault instead for the win. They rob us of actually seeing it, as they only show it on this ridiculously close camera angle.

Result: Vader via pinfall

They show footage from the WWF Germany tour, specifically a match between Jake Roberts and Owen Hart. Jake hit the DDT, but Bulldog ran in to attack to cause a DQ. They show minutes of grainy low-angle footage here, most of it totally uninteresting. Bulldog did get the snake thrown on him eventually, so I guess that's something.

The Godwinns (w/ Hillbilly Jim) vs. local jobbers: I sure wish they still had "Don't Go Messin' With a Country Boy." Sunny comes out to ringside in mid-match, flaunting the tag team title belts, but Hillbilly Jim chases her to the back with his dog. Henry Godwinn makes the pin with the Slop Drop.



Result: Godwinns via pinfall

The Bodydonnas hit the ring the second the match ends, beating down both Godwinns and then throwing slop in Phineas's face. Happily, they give us a really gross extended close-up of Phineas's face afterward as he gags and chokes on the slop.

Mankind vs. Aldo Montoya: Another squash, obviously. I don't think Mankind has a match for this Sunday, so I'm not sure why he gets the last match before the go-home show. He goes over with the Mandible Claw. They continued the unfortunate pattern of showing close-ups of a dude gagging after the match, as Aldo Montoya is spitting up afterward.



Result: Mankind via pinfall

The last five minutes of the show is dedicated to more hype for Michaels/Diesel, with a video showing a chronology of their on-and-off friendship that has led to the two facing off for the title on Sunday as well as a pre-taped promo from Diesel. Diesel also threatens to attack Vince McMahon after he beats Shawn Michaels.

Overall: Garbage. The only thing on the show I liked at all was the Vader squash of Fatu, which only lasted a couple of minutes.

---

Ratings for 4/22/96: Raw 3.3, Nitro 2.7
Ratings Running Score: Nitro, 14-13-2

Better Show: What a terrible Monday night. I hate giving either one a win. But it's Nitro again, as they at least gave us a Benoit-Guerrero match.
Better Show Running Score: Nitro 23-6

Match of the Night: Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

always thought micks piledriver looked frightening. looks so much less safe than the normal one where people can kind of just roll into it after being held up

Can't say I ever thought it looked unsafe, but I always thought it was much cooler-looking than basically any regular sitting piledriver.

Jumping piledrivers are amazing, but it's with good reason that they're rarely seen.

not sure what thread to put this in but figured i'd throw it in here because LKJ can probably comment as he's had all this exposure to older stuff.

i'm watching WCW's spring stampede '99 and the first thing that jumped out to me is the clearly superior commentary. not only did i forget how amazing the commentary was during the attitude era, but also how much it could do for getting the wrestlers and matches over.

first match is blitzkrieg vs. juventud. aside from a 20 second discussion about the main event (flair vs. sting vs. hogan vs. DDP) the entire focus is on the wrestlers and match at hand. every single move gets acknowledged. a couple of things that really stuck out to me:

* heenan mentions that blitzkrieg is a young guy, has only been in WCW for a couple months. tenay (if you watched nitro during attitude era, you remember tenay's extensive lucha libre knowledge) finds a way to use heenan's comment to get blitzkrieg over by mentioning that he's spent some time in smaller promotions and while he's young he still has around 100 matches under his belt and should be taken seriously. such a stark contrast to how WWE's treats guys like Kevin Owens, basically ignoring their pre-WWE careers.

* the winner of this match is #1 contender for the cruiserweight title and will get a shot tomorrow night on nitro. lots of talk about how much these guys want it, how much is on the line, massively putting cruiserweight title over. they even mention how juventud took an upset loss on thunder and that other guys might take issue with him being the #1 contender should he win. so easy to book when wins and losses mean something.

* juvi and blitz are setting up for a spot where blitz attempts a cross body off the top rope and juvi, who is outside of the ring, counters with a dropkick. blitz gets to top rope, juvi, for whatever reason, isn't ready (might intentionally walk away because there's not enough room) and continues to walk around the outside of the ring. blitzkrieg follows him, jumps on the next ring post and they execute the spot. not necessarily a botch but i thought the sequence obviously didn't play out as intended as there was no reason for juvi to walk around to the other side of the ring. heenan, covering for the botch, suggests that juvi must have seen blitzkrieg go to the top rope the first time and intentionally baited him around the ring so that he'd have room to counter. such an amazing and simple way to get the face over as a bright guy and a crafty veteran. we're lucky if cole and jbl are even talking about the match (as opposed to twitter), let alone covering up spots like that.

There's no question that commentary used to just be worlds better, though these early Nitros aren't a great reflection of it. Bischoff was...well, less annoying than Vince, but not great. Mongo was terrible. Heenan hadn't 100% checked out yet, but he was heading there. I look forward to getting to the point where Tony Schiavone takes over Eric Bischoff's seat. He's easily the better play-by-play guy.

I have no recollection of Spring Stampede '99. It is pretty weird the way WCW would sporadically have matches on PPV with the goal being to qualify for a title shot on free TV though.

i thought it was strange too. assuming there's no backstory to why one of those guys would get a title shot (didn't watch nitros leading up) i'd guess mid-1999 WCW is losing the monday night war badly and trying to drum up interest for tomorrow night.

I think they did that stuff when they were winning too. It was very backwards, but WCW just did things strangely sometimes.

Speaking of wcw doing weird stuff...

Totally unadvertised, impromptu match between Mikey whipwreck and Scotty Riggs. From what I gather there is absolutely no backstory either. I'll save the detailed summary for when you get to it.

WCW has often been criticized for over emphasizing ratings, and in some cases rightly so. But Spring Stampede 99 had a Cruiserweight title match on it in addition to the #1 contender's match, so it wasn't like the PPV viewers weren't getting a title match but the free TV viewers were. Shouldn't have an impact on business. The big putting it on free TV vs putting it on PPV issue they had was with giving away 1st time matches between main eventers (e.g. Goldberg vs Hogan).

Same. Compared to a piledriver like Lawler or Funk's, I prefer Cactus'. Cactus' just looks natural and not so choreographed.

Watch RAW first?

I remember really digging the Savage going nuts storyline here back then.

I'm alternating back and forth on which goes first. Basically giving equal opportunity for the two companies to get the last word on a given week. Figure it will bias the results less on my own personal tally for better show, just because grading one against the other each week interests me.

Some weeks Bischoff giving away Raw's card without results would have been just as effective a technique as giving away the results. With all due respect to the Godwinns and the Dumpster.

Isn't RAW live every other week? Could just watch the live ones after Nitro and the taped ones before Nitro.

No, being live every other week was a thing later, but at this point they do live Raw the night after the PPV and then tape every Raw until the next PPV that same night. So it's one live show for every 3-4 taped shows. Only exception I've seen to that is during the run-up to WM, when they added a new taping in the middle. That was a rare time where there were six weeks in between the February IYH and the next PPV.

WWF IN YOUR HOUSE 7: GOOD FRIENDS, BETTER ENEMIES



Omaha, NE

Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler welcome us to the show, run down the card, and off we go.

British Bulldog (w/ Jim Cornette, Clarence Mason, & Owen Hart) vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts: British Bulldog arrives in the ring with his whole entourage in tow, and Clarence Mason starts raising a fuss to the referee about something. They interview Jake backstage to ask him what he thinks is going on, and he assures us that he doesn't go into a fight blind. Upon arrival, the referee hands Jake a document he got from Mason and tells him he can't have the snake in the ring. Jake rips up the document, has a go at Camp Cornette with the snake (causing Cornette to faint), but ultimately carries the snake to the back on referee's orders.

After disappearing for a moment, Jake returns with Ahmed Johnson, and we have perhaps our first-ever holonaminute playa tag match on PPV.

British Bulldog & Owen Hart (w/ Jim Cornette & Clarence Mason) vs. Jake Roberts & Ahmed Johnson: After a brief exchange between Jake and Owen that Owen gets the better of, Owen tags a willing Davey in. Davey suddenly becomes unwilling when Jake tags out to Ahmed as well.



Owen, probably not wishing to be injured, is pretty dismayed by Davey's cowardice but goes ahead and wrestles. Davey pulls the same trick next time he's in and Ahmed tags in as well. Owen takes the lion's share of the ring time for this match, and in doing so manages to upgrade the match from "totally unwatchable" to "meh, not terrible," as he does his best to carry Jake and Ahmed to some decent back and forth. As Bulldog is in control of Jake, Vince speculates that it's because of a lack of experience in teaming together, and goes further to say that this was the first time that Jake and Ahmed had ever teamed up. The first time since the last PPV, that is.

Hot tag to Ahmed, he clears out Owen and puts Davey down hard with a spinebuster. Tags back out to Jake, Owen re-enters, the referee gets distracted trying to get the match back under control, and Bulldog whacks Jake's knee twice with Cornette's tennis racket, then puts on some makeshift leg submission for the win.



Result: Owen & Davey via pinfall (13:47)
Rating: **

Intercontinental Title - Goldust (c) (w/ Marlena and random unnamed bodyguard) vs. Ultimate Warrior: Goldust shakes off the usual ring robe to reveal that he has a heavily-wrapped knee. Vince notes this as well. This is a sorry excuse for a match. There's an opening bell and a closing bell, and in between is over seven ****ing minutes of pure stalling. Dustin obviously couldn't physically go here, so instead of altering the match of replacing Goldust or something, they instead pretend that there will be a real match and don't really have one.

Goldust just sort of walks around the ring, Warrior picks up Goldust's props and plays with them, smoking the cigar Marlena brought to the ring, and generally wastes time. Goldust gets on the mic and threatens to kiss everyone in the audience, same as he did on Raw. Vince: "The Warrior will do anything to get this match under way." Yes, anything but actually attack his opponent. We know that he's always been shy about that.

This screenshot from 6-7 minutes into the match:



Warrior finally delivers a clothesline for the first physical contact we see, and Goldust limps off to take the countout loss. This was shameful.

Result: Ultimate Warrior via countout (7:38)
Rating: 0*

Backstage to Dok Hendrix. In the background, British Bulldog and Owen Hart are standing outside of Shawn Michaels's dressing room, and Bulldog is pitching a fit about something as Tony Garea and Dave Hebner talk him down.

Vader (w/ Jim Cornette) vs. Razor Ramon: This was the first time Razor had shown up on WWF TV in over two months, so there was no real build to the match. Vader dominates the early stages entirely, but Razor gets a decent chunk of offense in the middle of the match…this wasn't anywhere near the total burial that one might expect in this spot. After a Razor near-fall following a back suplex, Vader connects on the Vaderbomb and…



…Razor kicks out??? This was Razor's last televised WWF match, I'm almost sure Vince knew that, and Razor gets to kick out of a monster's finisher? He's probably the first one in the WWF to do that. I'm blown away. That seems insane. Ramon actually gets a number of believable near-falls, performs every spot you could possibly hope he could do to a man Vader's size, and even hits a sweet electric chair drop.



However, Vader does go over when he randomly sits on Razor and then covers for the pin. He doesn't even redeem the Vaderbomb on a second try. Weird booking. Good match though. I'm left thinking that they must have thought Razor might still be staying at this point.

Result: Vader via pinfall (14:49)
Rating: ***

Dok Hendrix joins Cornette and Vader at ringside and tells him that Vader would be back on the next IYH and would face Yokozuna there. Cornette and Vader both flip out about that, Cornette says that's impossible, but that's the announcement. Seems like way too quick of a return.

Reminder: roughly everyone in a crowd at a wrestling event is an idiot.



SO CLEVER.

Tag Team Titles - The Bodydonnas (c) (w/ Sunny) vs. The Godwinns (w/ Hillbilly Jim): The storyline here is that Phineas Godwinn was a simpleton who was kind of smitten with Sunny and that Sunny would string him along whenever it could benefit her.



These two teams were just totally uninteresting. Henry Godwinn seemed to have the match won with the Slop Drop, but Sunny was running distraction by giving a personalized framed photo of herself to Phineas addressed to him with love, the Bodydonnas do twin magic while Henry is up trying to get the ref to pay attention, and the healthy Bodydonna who just pulled the switcheroo is there for the surprise small package and the three-count.



Result: Bodydonnas via pinfall (7:17)
Rating: *1/4

Dok Hendrix backstage with Marc Mero and Sable. Mero vs. HHH is officially announced for the next PPV. Mero cuts a weak damn promo on Helmsley, trying to make puns on his "Wildman" nickname like he's actually a dude who lives in the jungle or something.

Vince and Lawler talk up the Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel main event, then send it to a video package. By the way, you know how today we say that WWE is the GOAT at video packages even when the rest of the product sucks? I totally agree with that, but back in 1996 they hadn't hit their stride on that point either. These video packages are mostly pretty weak, especially compared to what they would put out today.

WWF Title No Holds Barred Match - Shawn Michaels (c) (w/ Jose Lothario) vs. Diesel: Full writeup here. Cliffs: Amazing no DQ brawl. Diesel powerbombs Michaels through a ringside table, literally rips a ringside fan's leg off to use as a weapon, loses to the superkick anyway.





Result: Shawn Michaels via pinfall (17:53)
Rating: ****1/2

Michaels celebrates in the ring until the show goes off the air.

Overall: Hard to hate a show that finishes so strong. Vader vs. Razor is good, the main event is excellent, and that's enough to make a two-hour show work despite some ****ty stuff like the IC Title match that wasn't.

April 29, 1996

RAW

Sioux City, IA

From last night's PPV, they show more context for British Bulldog's tantrum in the locker room, as you can clearly hear him say about Shawn Michaels, "He wants to sleep with my wife? I'll show him…" as he heads out toward the ring.

Mankind vs. Bart Gunn: After seeing Bart Gunn do a nice job of enhancing Steve Austin recently, I was happy to see this one being the opener. Mankind's non-claw fingers seem to be bleeding before first contact, which took me a while to go back and confirm. Strange. Honestly, this is nowhere close to the Bart Gunn-Steve Austin match of a couple of months prior; it's pretty slow and boring. I guess Bart Gunn always did save his best performance for opponents named Steve Williams.

Mankind goes over with the Mandible Claw after a match that I was more than ready to be done with.



Result: Mankind via submission

Jim Ross grabs a backstage interview with Bart Gunn as soon as he gets into the back. Bart gasps his way through some words talking about how the mandible claw left him unable to move. As he's in the middle of putting the move over, Mankind blindsides him and puts the hold back on. Jerry Lawler suggests that it's Jim Ross's fault, then says "Why don't you make Jim Ross talk to Mankind, huh? See if he'll conduct that interview!" Oh, JR will interview Mankind one day, and it will be glorious.

Savio Vega comes out to ringside before the next match to join the commentary team, and says during intros that he's challenging Steve Austin to a Caribbean strap match.

Steve Austin (w/ Ted DiBiase) vs. Scott Taylor: I would normally just reduce Scott Taylor to "local jobber," but like with the Hardys he went on to become a non-jobber one day. Austin busts out the giant swing for this match. Can't say I remember ever seeing him do that move. Jerry Lawler riles Savio Vega numerous times on commentary while Austin performs squash duties. SCSA wins with the Million Dollar Dream.



Result: Steve Austin via pinfall

Vega jumps on the house mic and repeats his challenge to Austin. Austin and DiBiase laugh and decline. Savio comes in whipping Austin with a strap, but that doesn't change anything for tonight.

After commercial, Vince McMahon is in the ring with the British Bulldog, his wife Diana Hart-Smith, and Jim Cornette. Vince says, "There have been some outlandish accusations toward this next man," then introduces Shawn Michaels. And for some reason Jose Lothario. Shawn cuts a promo bragging about his win last night before Jim Cornette interrupts and confronts Michaels about trying to sleep with Diana. Shawn looks on incredulously as Cornette details an allegation of Michaels luring Diana into the backstage area, putting an arm around her, pulling her into a dark corner and propositioning her. Cornette leaves off furiously yelling, "SHAWN MICHAELS, YOU, SIR, ARE A FORNICATOR!" Awesome.



Diana steps up to the mic. "Shawn, I know that you want me." Michaels responds, "Mrs. Smith, with all due respect, please do not flatter yourself." Diana rares back and slaps him. Shawn: "Well I guess we know who wears the pants in the Smith family." Davey charges and attacks at that line, and the two have a lengthy pull-apart brawl. As much as this seems like something I should have found eyeroll-worthy, I enjoyed it and thought the segment worked.



Advertised for next week are 1-2-3 Kid vs. Marc Mero and Owen Hart vs. The Undertaker. Not bad.

The New Rockers vs. The Godwinns (w/ Hillbilly Jim): Vince says that the winner of this match will get a tag title shot at the Bodydonnas. There is a ton of stalling before this thing finally gets under way. And then once it gets under way there's a lot more. Naturally, a mid-match interruption by Sunny is the only thing to get a crowd reaction.



Lawler: "When Phineas asks a girl out to dinner, she asks if she can bring a date." During a point in the match when the broadcast isn't actually paying attention to the match (it's focusing on a confrontation between Sunny and Hillbilly Jim), the bell rings and the match is declared a double countout. Sorry excuse for a match.

Result: Double Countout

Jim Ross does go try to interview Mankind. This isn't what I was referencing earlier when I said that it would be glorious. In any case, he asks what nerves the Mandible Claw targets. Mankind explains that he targets a spot where the flesh is weak, and paralysis is inevitable. Ross asks him if he fears retribution from The Undertaker. "I'm not surprised that my fingers were able to destroy The Undertaker. But I am surprised by just how easy it was. So SHOW COME COURAGE, YOU GUTLESS FOOL, OR I WILL DESTROY YOU WHENEVER AND WHEREVER I FEEL LIKE IT! And to tell you the truth, I'm becoming bored with your weakness. Have a nice day." Really good stuff. Just having the courage to go at Taker so fearlessly put Mankind over huge from the beginning.



Ultimate Warrior vs. Isaac Yankem: This marks Warrior's first-ever match on Raw. His entrance was still a pretty epic thing.



Vince shills Warrior's short-lived Warrior University, a wrestling school he had started up. This match was a short one, as most Warrior matches tended to be. Shoulderblock, running splash, three-count.

Result: Ultimate Warrior via pinfall

A frenzied Jerry Lawler says he's going to go in and take care of Warrior himself, but of course doesn't. Vince advertises next week's show, talking about the same Kid/Mero and Owen/Taker matches that got announced earlier, and signs off.

Overall: Well the wrestling was all completely worthless, but I did enjoy the Shawn/Bulldog stuff as well as that Mankind promo. It left me feeling like I didn't hate the episode.

NITRO

Albany, GA

Eric Bischoff introduces us to the show and talks about how we're going to see a WCW Title match tonight between Ric Flair and The Giant. Mongo McMichael and Bobby Heenan both predict The Giant to win. Bischoff calls the matchup "unprecedented." Seriously? You just had this matchup for the title five weeks ago on Nitro. Also, a tag title defense of Sting and Lex Luger taking on Harlem Heat. And a parking lot brawl between Steven Regal and Belfast Bruiser. Okay, I'm hyped for that ****.

Tag Team Titles - Sting & Lex Luger (c) vs. Harlem Heat: Some fun stuff between Sting and Booker T early. That's obviously your optimal combo in this match. I cringe when it becomes Luger vs. Stevie Ray, but even though he's doing nothing but throwing punches, Lex does dish out a high-energy flurry to keep the match momentum going before tagging his partner back in. Eric Bischoff says about Luger, "Despite what we've seen from him, at the end of the day I think he's a stand-up guy." Yep, he turned face when I thought he did. I would think there was a chance that they planned to maybe turn him heel again within a few months, but creative plans obviously went in another direction at the top of the company.

After a Sting heat segment, Luger eventually gets the hot tag. Gets the usual run of offense, but Harlem Heat combines to take control back, dumping Sting to the floor and hitting a top rope double-team move on Luger akin to the Demolition Decapitation. At this point Jimmy Hart runs down to the ring, throws a white towel in that has no effect on anything, Booker T catches it and throws it back out, and as the Heat is distracted by attacking Jimmy Hart, Sting slips back into the ring and executes a schoolboy for a dirty 1-2-3. Man, that was the stuff of a double turn, but it just gets treated like a babyface win.



Result: Sting & Luger via pinfall

Fire & Ice vs. The Steiner Brothers: Hey, we haven't seen Scott Norton in a while. Looking forward to nothing being sold ever. I wonder if he's taught Ice Train anything. Train does manage what looks like an impressively high leapfrog for his size before executing a powerslam. He also takes a German from Rick Steiner. Scott Steiner is able to get Scott Norton up for a belly-to-belly too. This is going better than I expected. This was the most Scott Norton gif I could manage from this match:



This is a surprisingly entertaining match with a weird damn ending, as Ice Train just straight-up jobs to nothing more than a running clothesline by Rick Steiner while Scott Steiner and Scott Norton are battling toward the outside of the ring.

Result: Steiner Brothers via pinfall

Mean Gene at the top of the aisle with Ric Flair, Woman, and Liz. Flair keeps referring to Liz as "the former Mrs. Macho Man" as Eric Bischoff expresses his disgust. Flair cuts a promo on The Giant, gets both women to say that Ric is the bigger and better man of the two, and…that's about it.

We get a cryptic promo of frozen stuff, with the phrase "Blood Runs Cold" followed by "coming to WCW."

Back from commercial, we're already off and running with the next fight.

Parking Lot Brawl - Lord Steven Regal vs. The Belfast Bruiser: Man. These two really going for it again. I can't name off a lot of the specific spots since most aren't hugely spectacular, but it's brutal and realistic improvised brawling at its finest.



Both men get busted open hard way, and Eric Bischoff has to keep telling the producers to stick to wide angles after that point. Regal completes a piledriver on top of a car. ****. Then I guess he pins him on top of the car for the win. Didn't even know this was really a pinfall match.



Loved it. More please.

Result: Lord Steven Regal via pinfall

WCW Title - Ric Flair (c) (w/ Woman and Miss Elizabeth) vs. The Giant (w/ Jimmy Hart): We get our weekly "hit on Debra McMichael" spot before the match. She acts equally offended each week. At some point you would think that she might get a different seat to spare herself the trouble. Going forward to the match, Giant is dominant just as he was in their last matchup. Flair does an okay job of trying to carry things by making every move by The Giant look good. The size mismatch does limit just how good this match can be, especially as Flair is not a high-flier, but it's not that bad.

During a ref distraction, Flair hits a low blow to finally get his first advantage of the match. Even after that though, Ric's attempts at attacking are just met by The Giant repeatedly summoning the strength to push him down. Flair kicks it up a notch and clobbers The Giant with a foreign object. Giant appears to be out, and Ric locks on the figure-four, but The Giant recovers, chokes Flair from within the hold, stands up and chokeslams Flair…1-2-3, and we have a new WCW Champion.



Result: The Giant via pinfall, new WCW Champion

Mean Gene enters the ring and gets a word with the new champion. Giant declares himself a fighting champion, and tells Hogan, Savage, and Sting to bring it on.

To the desk for the wrap-up, Eric Bischoff makes the big announcement that it will be The Giant vs. Sting for the WCW Title at Slamboree.

Overall: Great episode, strongest in a while. I liked something about every single segment. Just an absolutely stacked hour of wrestling. Naturally they pull their lowest rating in nearly six months. The clear explanation for that is that they started on an odd timeslot this night.

---

Ratings for 4/29/96: Raw 2.9, Nitro 2.1
Ratings Running Score: Tied, 14-14-2

Better Show: Nitro AINEC again. Glad to say it wasn't by default this time.
Better Show Running Score: Nitro 24-6

Match of the Night: Steven Regal vs. Belfast Bruiser

APRIL 1996 IN REVIEW

Arrivals:
WWF - Mankind/Mick Foley
WCW - N/A

Not much movement on the personnel front this month, but the arrival of Mick Foley was clearly a semi-significant one for the WWF in the short run and a hugely significant one in the long run.

Match of the Month: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel at In Your House 7.

PPV of the Month: WWF In Your House 7 (uncontested)

Ratings: After a strong run by Nitro in the ratings, we saw a correction this month as WWF put together a streak of their own. Still nobody taking real control of the race.

Quality: WWF seems to be a bit better than it was at the start of this project, but it's a really slow crawl to respectability. WCW continues to be the better overall product, especially on Monday nights, without any real question.

Great read thus far LKJ.

About the white towel, they had a Harlem Heat vs Luger and Sting match on another TV show, and Hart came down and threw in the towel for them, causing them to lose even though he isn't their manager. So this time Booker T prevents the loss from happening.

Love that Steiners vs Fire and Ice match. It tells a far different story than usual matches but still works. Not every single match has to revolve around comeback and slowly build to a finish stuff. One of the things I miss most about Nitro is the diversity of the matches. 95% of Raw matches today follow the same basic skeleton outline other than the finish (which itself is almost always pointless).

And really all the matches on that show provide something different. Instead of standardization, how can we shoot out the exact same corporate product, how can we make the next Big Mac just like the last one, they tried to actually think up something distinct. Sink or swim, that is what wrestling should be. Wrestling should be closer to art than it is to McDonald's.

May 6, 1996

NITRO

Daytona Beach, FL

Eric Bischoff says we have a WCW Title match tonight, as Lex Luger will test The Giant. Jushin Liger vs. Dean Malenko and Sting vs. Steven Regal as well. I'm immediately hopeful for this show.

Hugh Morrus vs. Randy Savage: Morrus jumps Savage before the bell and beats on him outside the ring, hanging him across the guardrail a la Crush 1994. This one doesn't cause the same kayfabe injuries that one did. Morrus basically dominates for a good while, then taunts Savage by putting on his hat and sunglasses. Savage launches a comeback and then ends up hanging Morrus by his jacket over the top rope. He won't relinquish the hold, and he gets disqualified.

Result: Hugh Morrus via DQ

Savage is less than thrilled with this decision. First he strikes referee Mark Curtis, then he bodyslams him and actually comes off the top rope and nails Curtis with his flying elbow. Eric Bischoff gets mad at Savage, calls him a psychopath, and then says that this is all Ric Flair's fault. I know what he's saying, but that's more than a little bit silly. Eventually enough security comes to the ring that he gets calmed down and leaves.



They show a graphic of Ray Stevens, saying that he died this past weekend. Eric Bischoff speaks glowingly about the man that Stevens was, and Heenan chimes in likewise. They encourage contributions to Stevens's favorite charity, and give that info.

Dean Malenko vs. Jushin Thunder Liger (w/ Sonny Onoo): During Malenko's entrance, Eric Bischoff just says "oh by the way, Shinjiro Otani won the WCW Cruiserweight Title." Doing phantom tournaments in the Pat Patterson era is one thing, but in this TV-heavy era it was super weird.



Fun exchange early with the two men countering each other until Liger eventually connects on an enziguiri. After Bischoff mentions that Randy Savage had been taken out of the building, Ric Flair suddenly appears from the back in a tux, Liz and Woman in tow, and takes a seat somewhere in the arena (not near ringside). C'mon, do that during a Duggan match, not during this. Also please don't actually do a Duggan match. Ric and the ladies pop bottles and drink champagne that the announcers say is financed by Randy Savage's money.

Good match here, not a great one as there was probably one too many botches, but I still enjoyed it. Malenko goes over clean with a tigerbomb.



Result: Dean Malenko via pinfall

Mean Gene with Flair and the ladies. Flair: "When you're at the top of your own personal world, you do what you want to do when you want to do it." Vince McMahon was furiously taking notes with the heading 2015 Booking Strategy. Flair says that The Giant got lucky last week. He moves on to talking about Slamboree, saying that he and Arn would take out Randy Savage again. He sends a drink over to "Mrs. McMichael." She takes it and dumps it out.

Another "Blood Runs Cold" promo.

Lord Steven Regal (w/ Jeeves) vs. Sting: Regal is heavily taped as a result of last week's brawl with Fit Finlay. That tape may be totally legit, but if it isn't then I tip my cap to WCW for that nice continuity touch in giving a nod to last week's match instead of just strolling Regal back out there as healthy as a horse. Bischoff says that Fit Finlay got injured in last week's match, and while Regal and Finlay were set to team up at Slamboree, Regal has gotten lucky and his drawn his ally Squire David Taylor as his new tag partner for the event.

I didn't really love this match, but I at least liked the finish. Sting misses on a Stinger Splash, Regal moves in to go for a butterfly suplex, Sting blocks a couple of times and then counters into a backdrop cradle that he bridges and holds onto for the three-count.



Result: Sting via pinfall

Eric Bischoff says that as of this moment, Lex Luger isn't in the building. Is WCW going to be the latest one to give us a bait-and-switch after advertising a main event?

After commercial, they come out and purportedly announce Luger to enter, for some reason to Sting's music. I realize they're tag partners, but that's still odd. Nobody comes out from the back for a while. And then…Jim Duggan does. What. Eric Bischoff acts puzzled, says Luger begged for this match and he has no idea where Lex could be. After some confusion by the referee and ring announcer Dave Penzer, Penzer announces that Luger did not arrive to the arena in time and that Hacksaw Jim Duggan has offered to fill in for him. The crowd correctly boos. What the **** kind of a replacement is this? Someone they don't need to protect I guess.

WCW Title - The Giant (c) (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan: Not just a dumb way of getting us into this match, but unsurprisingly a dumb match as well. Giant goes over pretty quickly with a chokeslam.

Result: The Giant via pinfall

After making the pin, Giant chokeslams Duggan again. We get a parade of jobbers running down to attack The Giant for some reason, and he takes them all down. Ric Flair joins the party, still in a tux, and hits Giant over the head with a chair. Giant no-sells. He's going to chokeslam Flair when Sting runs down, goes up top, and launches at Giant. Flair gets freed by this move and runs off.



WTF is Sting helping Flair for? Why is this assembly line of wrestlers going at The Giant even happening? Because he did one more move to ****ing Jim Duggan after a match? Sting repeatedly clips low at Giant's leg, then unloads a series of rights, heads up to the top, and a double axhandle knocks the big man down. Scorpion Deathlock, but Jimmy Hart attacks Sting with the megaphone. Luger sprints to the ring wielding a briefcase and threatening The Giant. Giant and Jimmy Hart go away. NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE.

Mean Gene into the ring.
Sting: "Let me ask you, where the hell have you been?"
Luger: "Why are you asking me where the hell I've been?"
Sting: "Because look at this mess you caused. This is supposed to be your deal out here. Where've you been?"



I do not understand. Luger no-shows, so every wrestler in the back loses their minds and decides that their only choice is to subject The Giant to an impromptu gauntlet match? Luger asks, "Don't you think I wanted to be here to face The Giant for the world title?" Sting: "I'm starting to wonder." Weird. Weird. They run out of time, and since they're acting as the pregame show for the NBA Playoffs on this night, they can't do overrun. Gene quickly rushes them off the air and cuts off this completely nonsensical exchange.

Overall: As I digest whatever it is I just saw, I admittedly laughed out loud, but not in a way that compliments the show. Basically the show was at least decent until the end, but then the final sequence just dumbed down everything it touched. I don't know, show was okay overall I guess, but just really goofy at the main event level. Again, Ric Flair is a guy who Sting has promised for months that he would never forget about double-crossing him last year. Tonight he saves him for no apparent reason. And this doesn't even mention the fact that it's a ****ty thing to advertise Luger vs. The Giant all show and then go "lol j/k here's a Jim Duggan match." But whatever, in spite of my numerous criticisms I didn't hate the hour overall.

RAW

Sioux City, IA

Raw opens on a quick clip dedicating the episode to the late great Ray Stevens, with Vince McMahon narrating.

After the WWF logo, they show a silhouette of a woman accusing Shawn Michaels of being a homewrecker. On that tease, they hit the actual credits. After credits, the 1-2-3 Kid's music is playing, and Vince and Jerry Lawler are at ringside with HHH and his arm candy of the week alongside. Seems clear that he's out there to do commentary on the upcoming Marc Mero match.

1-2-3 Kid (w/ Ted DiBiase) vs. Marc Mero (w/ Sable): Sure enough, HHH is on commentary, and he's pretty terrible at it here. It would be some time before he could work the mic effectively at all. As the much gets under way, we see a very nice pescado by Mero onto the Kid on the outside.



After the early spots the match slows down to a mid-match lull that unfortunately turns this into a fairly boring affair. Disappointing; this match looked to have potential on paper. HHH takes some harassment from the ringside fans. He stands up angrily and gripes about it, then asks Vince, "Who's in charge here, anyway?" This was before Vince ever really acknowledged himself as an actual principal of the company, and he just no-sells the question here, telling HHH to sit back down.

Mero hits a somersault plancha onto the Kid on the floor, HHH gets up and helps the Kid back inside, Mero heads up to the top rope, HHH hits Mero's leg and Mero gets crotched on the ropes. Kid attempts a superplex, Mero grabs a rope coming off and falls on top, 1-2-3. Decent ending to a mediocre match.

Result: Marc Mero via pinfall

We get clips of Savio Vega's attack on Steve Austin last week. They show that this past weekend on Superstars, Ted DiBiase reconsidered his initial refusal of a Caribbean strap match between Austin and Vega. He said that Vega could have his match under one condition: if Savio loses, he has to become DiBiase's chauffeur. Vince says that Savio accepted, and the match is on.



They go to the silhouette woman from the opening. They don't reveal who she is, and just say "ex-wife of a professional wrestler." She calls Shawn Michaels a homewrecker who ruined her marriage and her life. She said that at a time when Shawn knew that her husband was on the road, he came over to her place and seduced her, then never called her again. "I see him doing this to someone else, and I just can't let that happen." Alright, I thought last week's segment worked because of Jim Cornette, but this was pretty cringeworthy.



As they come back to the arena, Vince questions the woman's veracity, says the show's producers got that videotape anonymously, and then adds, "Lord knows our producers would do anything for a television rating." What an odd thing for VKM to say.

Fatu vs. British Bulldog (w/ Jim Cornette and Diana Hart-Smith): Vince says that Diana should not be at ringside; she should be in the audience. Lawler says that ringside is the only place she's safe. Vince: "Safe?" Lawler: "From Shawn Michaels." Vince: "Oh come on!" Lawler continues to push the allegations as fact, and it's pretty funny to hear him doing that as Vince gets increasingly agitated. Also funny is some mid-match showboating that British Bulldog does after dumping Fatu to the outside.



A couple of random Samoan dudes in suits show up near ringside. Vince identifies them as family members of Fatu. They look on judgmentally at Fatu since he's losing. I do not remember this at all, though the guys in question look a bit familiar. Fatu hits a cutter. A minute later, Bulldog comes at him with a hard clothesline that gets the patented Fatu clothesline bump. Near-fall for that, but Davey finishes this thing off with the running powerslam.

Result: British Bulldog via pinfall

Fatu's family members confront him after the match in the aisle. Fatu gets mad and says, "You ain't my family. The WWF is my family!" and stomps off.

Next week on Raw, we'll see Shawn Michaels vs. Hunter Hearst-Helmsley and Vader vs. Duke "The Dumpster" Droese, along with an Undertaker interview.

The Bodydonnas (w/ Sunny) vs. Tekno Team 2000: Tekno Team 2000 was the Aldo Montoya of the tag division. They had this incredibly terrible look and never beat anyone.



They show Harvey Wippleman in the aisleway scribbling stuff down on a notepad. Vince says "he's continuing to take notes on the officiating in the WWF and is preparing a report for President Gorilla Monsoon." Wat. The Bodydonnas again give up far too much offense to these jobbers. Just let your tag team champions look really strong one time.

We get an awkward mid-match interview with the New Rockers as they watch the match from backstage. I really wanted to get on board with the New Rocker gimmick, but Marty Jannetty just couldn't hide his absolute contempt for it, which basically left Al Snow's good efforts to sell the gimmick out in the cold. At least he eventually got a midcard push on his own during a peak era while Marty disappeared again.



Tekno Team 2000 actually does a hot tag that elicits literally zero crowd reaction. This was some ambitious (read: stupid) booking. The Bodydonnas finally go over when Skip executes a top rope hurracarana and then Zip follows it with some awkward botched axhandle off the top. In fairness, Tom Pritchard/Zip took a terrible fall a couple of minutes earlier that may well have ****ed him up, as he was still looking noticeably pained after the match.



Result: Bodydonnas via pinfall

Jim Ross with Vader and Jim Cornette in the back. Cornette cuts a solid promo on Yokozuna to hype the upcoming Yoko-Vader PPV match.

Goldust comes to the ring with Marlena to join in on commentary for the Undertaker vs. Owen Hart main event.

The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. Owen Hart (w/ Jim Cornette): Before Undertaker gets introduced, Vince says that he's just gotten word that a Goldust vs. Undertaker match for the coming PPV has been announced to be a casket match. Goldust gets really mad about it and nearly leaves, but gives in and stays. He shows a ton of fear of Undertaker, really kind of doing a goofy oversell of it. Vince salvages it by saying that Goldust has proven to be a good actor in the past, so you wonder if he's really THAT scared.



There's enough focus on Goldust that it mostly distracts from the match entirely. Goldust gets up in mid-match and starts cornering Paul Bearer against the steel steps, loosening Bearer's tie and beginning to unbutton Bearer's shirt before Bearer gets freaked out enough to run off. Goldust gooses Bearer as Bearer disappears to the back. Yeah, I've used the words "dumb" and "stupid" too many times tonight, but I don't know how else to describe this.

Owen takes a nice bump over the top as Taker grabs him in a chokehold and sends him over the top. Goldust actually fondles Owen while he's out there, and a distracted Owen scrambles into the ring and ends up being tombstoned. So he basically helped Taker win. Meh.

Result: Undertaker via pinfall

Paul Bearer re-emerges from the back, wheeling a casket in from the back. Goldust, backing away from Taker, unwittingly backs into the casket, gets freaked out, and runs off as Taker and Bearer do their thing in the ring to end the show.

Overall: As I watched this episode, I kept asking myself how I possibly keep sitting through these Raws. They're mostly torturous, and I say that as someone who is really trying to find stuff to like on them so that each episode isn't another abject waste of ~45 minutes. Anyway, this was another garbage episode that just left me shaking my head.

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Ratings for 5/6/96: Raw 4.1, Nitro 1.9 - okay, really? Raw pulls the highest rating of either show on any contested week yet. I guess this is partially owing to Nitro being in an odd timeslot and WWF actually being on alone during its timeslot, but still, that was the situation last week and the rating wasn't nearly as good for Raw.
Ratings Running Score: Raw, 15-14-2

Better Show: Nitro was nonsensical at times, but entertaining enough overall to not be bad. Raw was mostly unwatchable.
Better Show Running Score: Nitro 25-6

Match of the Night: Dean Malenko vs. Jushin Liger

Jim ****ing Duggan. That taping your fist in the ring gimmick. I understand Duggan's character isn't very smart, but it isn't against the rules to tape your damn fists before the match. Not to mention that Duggan's punches are not good. This is like a very overweight person who wears a neon half shirt, calling attention to the flaws.

I don't find the aftermath of the main event shocking or nonsensical. It was tradition in many territories for the jobbers and face half of the locker room to unite and come help if a strong heel attacks a veteran face, and Duggan (unfortunately) qualifies for that. Sting and the jobbers are out to stop Giant from hurting anyone, and perhaps for retributive justice for the extra choke slam. Flair is out to mess with Giant. All the characters have sensible motivations. Except Luger. But the whole mystery is what Luger's motivations are; what is his true character?

On further thought, I can reconcile the babyface jobbers coming out to Jim Duggan's aid. And I'm fine with Flair coming out since he and Giant have a beef from last week. When it comes to everything Sting I still think it's all pretty bizarre. They've been careful to stick with the continuity of Sting hating Flair ever since the double-cross at Halloween Havoc last year; Sting has continued to bring it up in promos even recently. The key promo was that Sting told Flair, "If you swerve me, I will leave you for dead. DEAD DEAD DEAD." But perhaps the hidden track afterward quietly said, "...unless the other guy attacks Jim ****ing Duggan first."

I just think that, to Sting's mind, even if he was going to rally to the defense of the other guys the Giant was plowing through, you would stop and, well, leave Flair for dead once he's the only one in there and is in a compromising position. Even Eric Bischoff reacted with, "Why is Sting helping Flair???" I also think it's super weird for Sting to then angrily blame Luger for everything that happened. I keep trying to express the argument for why, but it keeps coming back to some nerdy legal analogy about proximate cause. I guess I can just reconcile Sting's actions away as being emotional and not entirely reasonable, but I don't love using that as a justification to try to patch plot holes.