Monday Night Wars - The Comprehensive Recap
09-29-2016
, 08:47 PM
March 10, 1997
NITRO
Panama City Beach, FL
Cold open on Hulk Hogan and Dennis Rodman, standing near a movie poster featuring Rodman. I forgot that he did movies. They tease that they'll be on later, and now we head to the arena.
The arena is outdoors, with a pool near the ring…this is a spring break episode.
Here's a white limo backstage…and Roddy Piper and his team of misfits emerge from it. So they're here.
High Voltage vs. Jeff Jarrett & Mongo McMichael (w/ Debra): High Voltage's "music," which is just a bunch of electricity surges, feels kind of unsettling with these pools of water surrounding the ring. Tony Schiavone notes that Mongo and Jarrett are 0-for-2 as a tag team, and this match is probably just a way for them to get on the board with a win and look like a viable team before they team up on the upcoming PPV. Mongo dominates the early action against both High Voltage members. Jarrett takes the tag and continues on offense, but does end up falling into a heat segment as the crowd chants "we want Flair." Jarrett gets his knees up on a splash, hits a facebuster, an inverted atomic drop, a clothesline over the top rope, a butterfly suplex, and he tags in McMichael, who finishes things off with a neckbreaker and a tombstone.
Result: Mongo & Jarrett via pinfall
Mean Gene, in the ring, welcomes Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper is accompanied by his band of weirdos. I was ready to label them as the first coming of the Oddities before even realizing that both groups had John Tenta in common. Piper says, "Spring break, to me, meant that the last spring in the mattress would break. That's how I have six kids. UNCENSORED!" Then he starts cutting a promo on Howard Stern, saying, "Howard Stern is hung like a pimple. UNCENSORED!" See, crap like this is why I'm often so hard on Piper's work. You do not need to tag your own lines with an announcement of how edgy they were.
Piper continues, "I'm sick of the critics. You know, the WWF?" The crowd boos, and Piper approves of their booing. "The WWF says to me, over the television, we have no one-hipped wrestlers on our PPVs. You know what? You're right. You have no hip wrestlers on your PPVs!" GOOD ONE. "You know what, WWF? YOU'RE A LIAR. … Uncensored, right? Because when I was in the WWF and I beat the dog out of Goldust, I had one hip. What about that??" It'sTimeToStopPromoing.jpg.
As Piper begins to take up for his team of weirdos, we hear the familiar sounds of Also Sprach Zarathustra, and the Four Horsemen emerge from the back. Piper says, "Is this good or bad?" Gene says, "Well considering your behind-the-scenes relationship with Ric Flair, it can't be bad!" Hey thanks Gene, but that's probably something you were supposed to let play out. Arn tells Piper's team, "Gentlemen, with all due respect: you've got a lot of heart, but this is a job for professionals, not amateurs." Poor Tenta. Arn tells Piper that they have a common goal to take out Hulk Hogan, and he implicitly offers that the Horsemen would team with Piper.
Piper starts to say no, but Flair breaks in to say his part. He says that Piper has broken a rule: never over-match yourself. He says to Hogan, "The stupid little man wants back in the game," and asks Piper to walk the aisle with the Horsemen. Piper, referring to his team, says, "They're my family, they'll watch my back…I would be proud to walk the aisle with the Horsemen." So the misfits are on bodyguard duty now, and I guess Flair is back in the ring this Sunday.
TV Title - Prince Iaukea (c) vs. Squire David Taylor: They want to push this boring Prince Iaukea thing, but they don't seem to want to put him over anyone real, so…David Taylor it is. Taylor had transitioned into hunting clothes as of late, but he's back in Blueblood gear tonight, pushing this as a revenge match on behalf of his old buddy Steven Regal. As the action here gets started, a Hummer limo rolls up, and we see Hulk Hogan emerge and lead the nWo out of it. No Dennis Rodman right at the moment. As they start to turn a corner, we have another Big Bubba moment, as it appears that Mr. Wallstreet has been laid out. They double back to tend to him, having no idea what happened.
We're back to the match, just in time for it to end. Taylor goes for a bodyslam, and his weight buckles under the tiny Prince Iaukea, who falls on top for a three-count. Iaukea could be the smallest guy in history to win on that type of finish.
Result: Prince Iaukea via pinfall
US Title - Eddie Guerrero (c) vs. Jim Powers (w/ Teddy Long): Dean Malenko joins the announce table for this match, commenting that he's determined to show people "the real Eddie Guerrero." Malenko notes that since he and Eddie have come to the company and started up the cruiserweight divison, "One of us has risen to the top and the other one has…well, stayed afloat." Strangely he's talking about Eddie as "just staying afloat" while Eddie is the ****ing US Champion. He does explain that the whole reason Eddie is the champion is that the nWo beat up DDP while Guerrero was laying down. "That's not a champion to me." Well, at least that makes some logical sense of clowning on Eddie's accomplishments.
Eddie hits a slingshot splash on Powers to get a two-count. Teddy Long gets up on the apron and complains. Eddie pulls Powers into Long, causing the two to collide, and then he schoolboys Powers for the win.
Result: Eddie Guerrero via pinfall
Mean Gene joins Guerrero in the ring. Guerrero says that he's not the one calling himself "new and improved." He's not the one choking people uncharacteristically. He asks who is the one who really doesn't seem like himself. Gene jumps in and says that he thinks that's Eddie, that Eddie doesn't seem like himself. Eddie gets frustrated with how many people keep saying that he's changing, says that he's sick and tired of it. Says "see you Sunday," when he'll defend his title against Malenko, and walks off.
Sgt. Craig Pittman vs. Diamond Dallas Page: Pittman pretty much gets 50/50 offense with Page for the first couple of minutes, with the only notable spot being a rocker dropper by DDP. Pittman actually settles into an advantage, but after DDP kicks out following an awkward belly-to-belly suplex, he launches the babyface comeback, hits the Diamond Cutter, and that's our match.
Result: Diamond Dallas Page via pinfall
Gene Okerlund grabs an interview with DDP after the match, and…the power goes out in mid-promo. There's still a little bit of light left, and Dallas just no-sells the outage and keeps cutting his promo, but the mic isn't picking it up. This is not a work. They send it to commercial. Then they send it to another commercial. Alright, we're back, lights and microphone back to functionality. DDP cuts a promo on Savage, saying that Savage may be trying to forget that he exists, but he will absolutely remember his name before all of this is said and done.
Galaxy vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.: As this thing is about to start, we see a pre-recorded PIP promo from Rey, talking about his upcoming TV Title match at Uncensored. Japanese armdrag by Mysterio, a catapult, and then a springboard dropkick that sends Galaxy spilling out to the floor. Galaxy tries to walk the top rope to re-enter, but Rey yanks him down and crotches him along the top, then hits a split-legged moonsault for a two-count. Hard clothesline by Galaxy, who attempts to follow with a moonsault off the top, but comes up empty. Rey with the springboard hurracanrana into the pinning combo, and this one is over quickly.
Result: Rey Mysterio Jr. via pinfall
We're onto hour #2, with Bobby Heenan and Mike Tenay stepping in. I sure as hell hope they can improve upon hour #1. After talking about the Horsemen joining up with Roddy Piper, Schiavone kicks it over to Gene in the ring. He brings out some pipsqueak who looks like a ringhand but is apparently an MTV VJ. This guy takes the mic from Gene and introduces "Miss Monday Nitro," Pamela Rogers.
The VJ dude continues on to plug some appearances that nWo guys are going to make on MTV in the next week. And that's the whole segment. Whatever.
Greg Valentine, Roadblock, & The Amazing French Canadians (w/ Col. Parker) vs. Lex Luger, The Giant, & The Steiner Brothers: This is quite the eclectic group of jobbers to take on Team WCW. Valentine tries with minimal success to fight off Luger and the Steiners. The Canadians and Roadblock quickly get their turns in the ring, but Roadblock misses on a splash off the second rope, then falls victim to a nice-looking suplex by Scott Steiner.
Giant tags in, hits the chokeslam, 1-2-3.
Result: Team WCW via pinfall
More Gene Okerlund stick time, in the ring with Team WCW. Gene recites the stakes for this Sunday: if Team WCW wins, nWo will have to put all of their belts on the line. If Team Piper wins, Piper will get a world title shot at Hulk Hogan in a steel cage. If Team nWo wins, they'll be allowed on any WCW telecast. WTF? What kind of lame stakes are those? Since when is nWo not already allowed on any WCW telecast? Are they fighting for the right to wrestle on WCW Prime? Who could possibly care about this match? Basic hype promos by everyone on Team WCW. Not much going on here, though they do push the notion that Rick Steiner isn't quite right since their kayfabe car wreck.
Juventud Guerrera vs. Ultimo Dragon (w/ Sonny Onoo): Alright; if this match can't salvage the show, nothing is going to. Dragon with a shoulderblock, forward roll through a leapfrog, misses on an elbow but then no-sells a couple of chops. Dragon reverses a corner whip, but misses on a corner charge. Blocks a hurracanrana, but Juventud is right back at him with a flying headscissor, then a dropkick that knocks Ultimo out. Guerrera's baseball slide misses, as Ultimo slips back into the ring and distracts the official while Sonny Onoo gets some kicks in. Dragon rejoins Juvi on the outside, as the announcers speculate that we're going to see someone go into the drink. Not now though, as the action returns inside.
Dragon no-sells more chops, then lands his own. He lands on his feet on a backdrop attempt, then hits his patented series of standing and jumping kicks, followed by a couple more to Guerrera's back for good measure. Bow-and-arrow overhead by Dragon, who drops to his knees with force to wrench Juvi's back. Applies a surfboard, but then lets it go voluntarily and hits a slingshot suplex. Just a two-count. Chinlock by Ultimo, who almost seems to be tugging at Juventud's mask. Upon release of the hold, Guerrera escapes from a German suplex attempt, knocks Dragon out, and hits a great-looking somersault plancha off the top rope to the floor.
Guerrera rolls his man back in, then hits a springboard spinning wheel kick. Two. Juvi nearly puts it away with a surprise victory roll, but Ultimo barely kicks out at two. Running powerbomb by the Dragon, taking a page from the book of Jushin Liger. He sets Juvi up on the top rope, spinning hurracanrana, tiger suplex, 1-2-3. Pretty good stuff.
Result: Ultimo Dragon via pinfall
Chris Jericho vs. Scotty Riggs: Riggs has a hard enough time getting cheered against heels, so this is really feeding him to the wolves. He hits a back elbow on Jericho, hits a bodyslam and records an early two-count. Jericho counters with a jawbreaker a moment later, then lays in some vicious chops. Irish whip, and Riggs wins the next collision to put Chris down with a shoulderblock, but then runs into an overhead throw a moment later. Springboard dropkick by Jericho knocks Riggs to the floor. He makes Riggs's re-entry a rough one, suplexing him inside and getting a two-count. Tony Schiavone talks about how Eric Bischoff has retained the services of a big New York law firm to deal with his suspension. Heenan deadpans, "Not enough lawyers in the world."
Couple of dropkicks by Riggs. Heads to the top, but Jericho catches up with him, shoving him and causing him to fall crotch-first on the top turnbuckle. Follows him up and tries for a superplex, but Riggs throws him off and then hits a shoulderblock off the ropes for a near-fall. Jericho flips out of a back suplex, German suplex into a bridge and a pin gets a believable near-fall; I thought that was it, but Riggs kicks out on two. And now here's Buff Bagwell with the run-in to cause the obvious DQ.
Result: Scotty Riggs via DQ
Jericho attacks Bagwell, and before Riggs can pile on, Bagwell escapes the ring and heads for higher ground.
Mean Gene is with Madusa. She cuts another worthless promo about how she's the best woman in WCW. I'm not sure there is ever another WCW Women's Title match on PPV, so I don't think this brief tease of a revival goes anywhere.
Kevin Sullivan (w/ Jacqueline & Jimmy Hart) vs. Hardbody Harrison: Sullivan gets some offense, dumps Harrison out so that Jacqueline gets in some offense, then drags him up the aisle and into the outdoor wooden concourse area. The bell rings, so we have a double countout or a no contest or something. Sullivan and Jacqueline continue the beatdown, as Sullivan tosses Harrison down a flight of steps toward the beach and then drags him back up and toward the ringside area. He flings him into the drink to cap that whole thing off.
Result: Double Countout
Okerlund comes out to talk to these three. Jimmy Hart has gotten over his previous hate for Jacqueline, and puts over how great she and Sullivan are. Jackie talks about how other women in WCW are just window dressing, but she can beat any man besides Sullivan. Sullivan says that, thanks to teaming with Piper, the Horsemen, who have been aimless, finally have something to focus on. He encourages Piper and says "no excuses" this Sunday.
After a commercial, here comes the nWo for, I would assume, our weekly HoganPose.jpg segment. Bischoff says they're here to address the rumor: is Dennis Rodman a member of the nWo? Hogan confirms that yes, "the real Hot Rod, Dennis Rodman" has been put through the initiation and is now a member. They show footage of Hogan giving Rodman an nWo tanktop and Rodman putting it on. He says that Rodman will be at Uncensored. Bischoff adds that it's time to give Sting his colors as well, and Hogan walks up and holds an nWo t-shirt up to Sting, who just stands there rigidly.
Kevin Nash, in full douche mode with the 2Pac-style bandana on his forehead, mocks the Steiners. Scott Hall does likewise. Randy Savage's turn on the mic. Bischoff asks him about "that guy from earlier who was complaining about him." Savage pretends to not remember DDP's name. The group continues taunting until their music hits and the show goes to break. At least we get spared a Hogan posedown.
Mean Gene brings out Public Enemy, saying that the Horsemen are out of the triangle tag match this Sunday, and it's just going to be PE vs. Harlem Heat at the PPV. Johnny Grunge rages about the Horsemen being full of themselves. Rocco continues the promo, Harlem Heat comes out and jumps Public Enemy, and the show goes off the air. What a weird ****ing ending to a go-home Nitro.
Overall: Show was mostly bad. WCW is really becoming a chore to write up more often than not.
NITRO
Panama City Beach, FL
Cold open on Hulk Hogan and Dennis Rodman, standing near a movie poster featuring Rodman. I forgot that he did movies. They tease that they'll be on later, and now we head to the arena.
The arena is outdoors, with a pool near the ring…this is a spring break episode.
Here's a white limo backstage…and Roddy Piper and his team of misfits emerge from it. So they're here.
High Voltage vs. Jeff Jarrett & Mongo McMichael (w/ Debra): High Voltage's "music," which is just a bunch of electricity surges, feels kind of unsettling with these pools of water surrounding the ring. Tony Schiavone notes that Mongo and Jarrett are 0-for-2 as a tag team, and this match is probably just a way for them to get on the board with a win and look like a viable team before they team up on the upcoming PPV. Mongo dominates the early action against both High Voltage members. Jarrett takes the tag and continues on offense, but does end up falling into a heat segment as the crowd chants "we want Flair." Jarrett gets his knees up on a splash, hits a facebuster, an inverted atomic drop, a clothesline over the top rope, a butterfly suplex, and he tags in McMichael, who finishes things off with a neckbreaker and a tombstone.
Result: Mongo & Jarrett via pinfall
Mean Gene, in the ring, welcomes Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper is accompanied by his band of weirdos. I was ready to label them as the first coming of the Oddities before even realizing that both groups had John Tenta in common. Piper says, "Spring break, to me, meant that the last spring in the mattress would break. That's how I have six kids. UNCENSORED!" Then he starts cutting a promo on Howard Stern, saying, "Howard Stern is hung like a pimple. UNCENSORED!" See, crap like this is why I'm often so hard on Piper's work. You do not need to tag your own lines with an announcement of how edgy they were.
Piper continues, "I'm sick of the critics. You know, the WWF?" The crowd boos, and Piper approves of their booing. "The WWF says to me, over the television, we have no one-hipped wrestlers on our PPVs. You know what? You're right. You have no hip wrestlers on your PPVs!" GOOD ONE. "You know what, WWF? YOU'RE A LIAR. … Uncensored, right? Because when I was in the WWF and I beat the dog out of Goldust, I had one hip. What about that??" It'sTimeToStopPromoing.jpg.
As Piper begins to take up for his team of weirdos, we hear the familiar sounds of Also Sprach Zarathustra, and the Four Horsemen emerge from the back. Piper says, "Is this good or bad?" Gene says, "Well considering your behind-the-scenes relationship with Ric Flair, it can't be bad!" Hey thanks Gene, but that's probably something you were supposed to let play out. Arn tells Piper's team, "Gentlemen, with all due respect: you've got a lot of heart, but this is a job for professionals, not amateurs." Poor Tenta. Arn tells Piper that they have a common goal to take out Hulk Hogan, and he implicitly offers that the Horsemen would team with Piper.
Piper starts to say no, but Flair breaks in to say his part. He says that Piper has broken a rule: never over-match yourself. He says to Hogan, "The stupid little man wants back in the game," and asks Piper to walk the aisle with the Horsemen. Piper, referring to his team, says, "They're my family, they'll watch my back…I would be proud to walk the aisle with the Horsemen." So the misfits are on bodyguard duty now, and I guess Flair is back in the ring this Sunday.
TV Title - Prince Iaukea (c) vs. Squire David Taylor: They want to push this boring Prince Iaukea thing, but they don't seem to want to put him over anyone real, so…David Taylor it is. Taylor had transitioned into hunting clothes as of late, but he's back in Blueblood gear tonight, pushing this as a revenge match on behalf of his old buddy Steven Regal. As the action here gets started, a Hummer limo rolls up, and we see Hulk Hogan emerge and lead the nWo out of it. No Dennis Rodman right at the moment. As they start to turn a corner, we have another Big Bubba moment, as it appears that Mr. Wallstreet has been laid out. They double back to tend to him, having no idea what happened.
We're back to the match, just in time for it to end. Taylor goes for a bodyslam, and his weight buckles under the tiny Prince Iaukea, who falls on top for a three-count. Iaukea could be the smallest guy in history to win on that type of finish.
Result: Prince Iaukea via pinfall
US Title - Eddie Guerrero (c) vs. Jim Powers (w/ Teddy Long): Dean Malenko joins the announce table for this match, commenting that he's determined to show people "the real Eddie Guerrero." Malenko notes that since he and Eddie have come to the company and started up the cruiserweight divison, "One of us has risen to the top and the other one has…well, stayed afloat." Strangely he's talking about Eddie as "just staying afloat" while Eddie is the ****ing US Champion. He does explain that the whole reason Eddie is the champion is that the nWo beat up DDP while Guerrero was laying down. "That's not a champion to me." Well, at least that makes some logical sense of clowning on Eddie's accomplishments.
Eddie hits a slingshot splash on Powers to get a two-count. Teddy Long gets up on the apron and complains. Eddie pulls Powers into Long, causing the two to collide, and then he schoolboys Powers for the win.
Result: Eddie Guerrero via pinfall
Mean Gene joins Guerrero in the ring. Guerrero says that he's not the one calling himself "new and improved." He's not the one choking people uncharacteristically. He asks who is the one who really doesn't seem like himself. Gene jumps in and says that he thinks that's Eddie, that Eddie doesn't seem like himself. Eddie gets frustrated with how many people keep saying that he's changing, says that he's sick and tired of it. Says "see you Sunday," when he'll defend his title against Malenko, and walks off.
Sgt. Craig Pittman vs. Diamond Dallas Page: Pittman pretty much gets 50/50 offense with Page for the first couple of minutes, with the only notable spot being a rocker dropper by DDP. Pittman actually settles into an advantage, but after DDP kicks out following an awkward belly-to-belly suplex, he launches the babyface comeback, hits the Diamond Cutter, and that's our match.
Result: Diamond Dallas Page via pinfall
Gene Okerlund grabs an interview with DDP after the match, and…the power goes out in mid-promo. There's still a little bit of light left, and Dallas just no-sells the outage and keeps cutting his promo, but the mic isn't picking it up. This is not a work. They send it to commercial. Then they send it to another commercial. Alright, we're back, lights and microphone back to functionality. DDP cuts a promo on Savage, saying that Savage may be trying to forget that he exists, but he will absolutely remember his name before all of this is said and done.
Galaxy vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.: As this thing is about to start, we see a pre-recorded PIP promo from Rey, talking about his upcoming TV Title match at Uncensored. Japanese armdrag by Mysterio, a catapult, and then a springboard dropkick that sends Galaxy spilling out to the floor. Galaxy tries to walk the top rope to re-enter, but Rey yanks him down and crotches him along the top, then hits a split-legged moonsault for a two-count. Hard clothesline by Galaxy, who attempts to follow with a moonsault off the top, but comes up empty. Rey with the springboard hurracanrana into the pinning combo, and this one is over quickly.
Result: Rey Mysterio Jr. via pinfall
We're onto hour #2, with Bobby Heenan and Mike Tenay stepping in. I sure as hell hope they can improve upon hour #1. After talking about the Horsemen joining up with Roddy Piper, Schiavone kicks it over to Gene in the ring. He brings out some pipsqueak who looks like a ringhand but is apparently an MTV VJ. This guy takes the mic from Gene and introduces "Miss Monday Nitro," Pamela Rogers.
The VJ dude continues on to plug some appearances that nWo guys are going to make on MTV in the next week. And that's the whole segment. Whatever.
Greg Valentine, Roadblock, & The Amazing French Canadians (w/ Col. Parker) vs. Lex Luger, The Giant, & The Steiner Brothers: This is quite the eclectic group of jobbers to take on Team WCW. Valentine tries with minimal success to fight off Luger and the Steiners. The Canadians and Roadblock quickly get their turns in the ring, but Roadblock misses on a splash off the second rope, then falls victim to a nice-looking suplex by Scott Steiner.
Giant tags in, hits the chokeslam, 1-2-3.
Result: Team WCW via pinfall
More Gene Okerlund stick time, in the ring with Team WCW. Gene recites the stakes for this Sunday: if Team WCW wins, nWo will have to put all of their belts on the line. If Team Piper wins, Piper will get a world title shot at Hulk Hogan in a steel cage. If Team nWo wins, they'll be allowed on any WCW telecast. WTF? What kind of lame stakes are those? Since when is nWo not already allowed on any WCW telecast? Are they fighting for the right to wrestle on WCW Prime? Who could possibly care about this match? Basic hype promos by everyone on Team WCW. Not much going on here, though they do push the notion that Rick Steiner isn't quite right since their kayfabe car wreck.
Juventud Guerrera vs. Ultimo Dragon (w/ Sonny Onoo): Alright; if this match can't salvage the show, nothing is going to. Dragon with a shoulderblock, forward roll through a leapfrog, misses on an elbow but then no-sells a couple of chops. Dragon reverses a corner whip, but misses on a corner charge. Blocks a hurracanrana, but Juventud is right back at him with a flying headscissor, then a dropkick that knocks Ultimo out. Guerrera's baseball slide misses, as Ultimo slips back into the ring and distracts the official while Sonny Onoo gets some kicks in. Dragon rejoins Juvi on the outside, as the announcers speculate that we're going to see someone go into the drink. Not now though, as the action returns inside.
Dragon no-sells more chops, then lands his own. He lands on his feet on a backdrop attempt, then hits his patented series of standing and jumping kicks, followed by a couple more to Guerrera's back for good measure. Bow-and-arrow overhead by Dragon, who drops to his knees with force to wrench Juvi's back. Applies a surfboard, but then lets it go voluntarily and hits a slingshot suplex. Just a two-count. Chinlock by Ultimo, who almost seems to be tugging at Juventud's mask. Upon release of the hold, Guerrera escapes from a German suplex attempt, knocks Dragon out, and hits a great-looking somersault plancha off the top rope to the floor.
Guerrera rolls his man back in, then hits a springboard spinning wheel kick. Two. Juvi nearly puts it away with a surprise victory roll, but Ultimo barely kicks out at two. Running powerbomb by the Dragon, taking a page from the book of Jushin Liger. He sets Juvi up on the top rope, spinning hurracanrana, tiger suplex, 1-2-3. Pretty good stuff.
Result: Ultimo Dragon via pinfall
Chris Jericho vs. Scotty Riggs: Riggs has a hard enough time getting cheered against heels, so this is really feeding him to the wolves. He hits a back elbow on Jericho, hits a bodyslam and records an early two-count. Jericho counters with a jawbreaker a moment later, then lays in some vicious chops. Irish whip, and Riggs wins the next collision to put Chris down with a shoulderblock, but then runs into an overhead throw a moment later. Springboard dropkick by Jericho knocks Riggs to the floor. He makes Riggs's re-entry a rough one, suplexing him inside and getting a two-count. Tony Schiavone talks about how Eric Bischoff has retained the services of a big New York law firm to deal with his suspension. Heenan deadpans, "Not enough lawyers in the world."
Couple of dropkicks by Riggs. Heads to the top, but Jericho catches up with him, shoving him and causing him to fall crotch-first on the top turnbuckle. Follows him up and tries for a superplex, but Riggs throws him off and then hits a shoulderblock off the ropes for a near-fall. Jericho flips out of a back suplex, German suplex into a bridge and a pin gets a believable near-fall; I thought that was it, but Riggs kicks out on two. And now here's Buff Bagwell with the run-in to cause the obvious DQ.
Result: Scotty Riggs via DQ
Jericho attacks Bagwell, and before Riggs can pile on, Bagwell escapes the ring and heads for higher ground.
Mean Gene is with Madusa. She cuts another worthless promo about how she's the best woman in WCW. I'm not sure there is ever another WCW Women's Title match on PPV, so I don't think this brief tease of a revival goes anywhere.
Kevin Sullivan (w/ Jacqueline & Jimmy Hart) vs. Hardbody Harrison: Sullivan gets some offense, dumps Harrison out so that Jacqueline gets in some offense, then drags him up the aisle and into the outdoor wooden concourse area. The bell rings, so we have a double countout or a no contest or something. Sullivan and Jacqueline continue the beatdown, as Sullivan tosses Harrison down a flight of steps toward the beach and then drags him back up and toward the ringside area. He flings him into the drink to cap that whole thing off.
Result: Double Countout
Okerlund comes out to talk to these three. Jimmy Hart has gotten over his previous hate for Jacqueline, and puts over how great she and Sullivan are. Jackie talks about how other women in WCW are just window dressing, but she can beat any man besides Sullivan. Sullivan says that, thanks to teaming with Piper, the Horsemen, who have been aimless, finally have something to focus on. He encourages Piper and says "no excuses" this Sunday.
After a commercial, here comes the nWo for, I would assume, our weekly HoganPose.jpg segment. Bischoff says they're here to address the rumor: is Dennis Rodman a member of the nWo? Hogan confirms that yes, "the real Hot Rod, Dennis Rodman" has been put through the initiation and is now a member. They show footage of Hogan giving Rodman an nWo tanktop and Rodman putting it on. He says that Rodman will be at Uncensored. Bischoff adds that it's time to give Sting his colors as well, and Hogan walks up and holds an nWo t-shirt up to Sting, who just stands there rigidly.
Kevin Nash, in full douche mode with the 2Pac-style bandana on his forehead, mocks the Steiners. Scott Hall does likewise. Randy Savage's turn on the mic. Bischoff asks him about "that guy from earlier who was complaining about him." Savage pretends to not remember DDP's name. The group continues taunting until their music hits and the show goes to break. At least we get spared a Hogan posedown.
Mean Gene brings out Public Enemy, saying that the Horsemen are out of the triangle tag match this Sunday, and it's just going to be PE vs. Harlem Heat at the PPV. Johnny Grunge rages about the Horsemen being full of themselves. Rocco continues the promo, Harlem Heat comes out and jumps Public Enemy, and the show goes off the air. What a weird ****ing ending to a go-home Nitro.
Overall: Show was mostly bad. WCW is really becoming a chore to write up more often than not.
10-07-2016
, 03:19 PM
10-13-2016
, 07:39 PM
WCW UNCENSORED '97
Charleston, SC
Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, and Dusty Rhodes welcome us to Charleston. Tony says that if Team WCW wins tonight, the nWo has to give up all their belts and can't wrestle for 36 months. WTF? Those are way harsher terms than what Mean Gene rattled off on Nitro. So basically Team WCW doesn't win tonight. Anyway, onto our opener.
US Title - Eddie Guerrero (c) vs. Dean Malenko: Tony calls this, in the annals of the US Title, "the most anticipated defense of all time." Sigh. In any case, it really is a nice bonus that these two are contesting a non-cruiserweight title, so that we can see a feud like this over a heavyweight title and the Cruiserweight Title can have its own separate thing going on. Or at least that was a thought that I had before I realized that Sean Waltman has the Cruiserweight Title.
Angry staredown in the middle before things get physical. Dean pushes Eddie down, Eddie pops up quickly with a few punches and a shoulderblock. Side headlock and a few punches by Guerrero, but Malenko transitions out and then gets his own shoulderblock in. Guerrero takes a breather, and Malenko is waiting for his re-entry, attacking and then stomping him violently in the corner. We have a mixed crowd here, as even Malenko's recent aggressiveness hasn't really made him the heel in this match. Guerrero takes the attack back at Malenko, getting his own mudhole-stomping sequence in at an adjacent corner.
Malenko launches Guerrero into the corner, then as he goes to follow up, we unfortunately get a cut-away to backstage, where the Outsiders and Syxx are hovering over a face-down wrestler. The announcers think that it's Rick Steiner. The cut-away only lasts 15 seconds or so, and we're back at the match; Malenko is applying a half-crab and wrenching Guerrero's leg. He gets up and dumps Guerrero out over the top, which the announcers note is legal, as I guess this is no DQ. Malenko goes and gets the title belt, then hits Guerrero with it a few times before referee Randy Anderson wrestles it away from him. Malenko hits a clothesline and gets a two-count. As the announcers are noting that Malenko is setting the pace in this match, Guerrero fights back with sort of a turning front suplex (closer to what would become the Rock Bottom than anything).
Eddie rakes Malenko's eyes with a spinning stomp, hits a European uppercut, then a targeted dropkick to take out Malenko's knee. The crowd actually begins to turn on Guerrero here as he continues working it over. I immediately wonder if this Charleston crowd is expressing some…Southern biases, but Guerrero is sort of leaning into it in his reactions to the crowd, and then Schiavone comments that he seems to have a surly demeanor. And then Dusty is confused by WTF "surly" means. Eddie drops his slingshot splash on the bad knee, then grapevines it. Usually this type of limb work is more commonly done from the heel side, so maybe I was misreading the build to this match, and maybe they're just supposed to be fighting in some tweener territory, though I wouldn't have guessed that from Schiavone and Gene Okerlund consistently taking Eddie's side during the build.
As Eddie works Dean in an STF, we get a split-screen look backstage at the downed wrestler being placed on a stretcher, and yes it is Rick Steiner. In the match, Malenko tries to escape the ring, but Guerrero aggressively pursues and keeps beating him down out there. Malenko finally turns the tide with a reversed whip into the steel guardrail. That doesn't get him much of a respite though, as Guerrero is right back after the bad knee with another targeted dropkick that rams the leg into the ringpost.
On the split-screen, we see an ambulance haul Rick Steiner off. Back in the match, Eddie channels Ric Flair by slapping on the figure-four and actually grabbing the ropes for leverage. Okay yes, Eddie is definitely working in at least tweener territory, sort of validating all of Malenko's suspicion and distrust. Malenko eventually eye-gouges his way out of the hold. Back to a vertical base, Guerrero connects on a handful of European uppercuts, then puts his man back down with a back elbow. He misses on a slingshot splash when Malenko rolls out, but he baseball-slides Malenko hard into the guardrail, then Eddie goes up top for the big dive that ends badly for him.
Guerrero clutches his newly-hurt ribs, and Malenko is quick to capitalize by picking him up and dropping him ribs-first on the guardrail. Back inside the ring, Dean works on an armbar for a bit. Eddie manages an escape, drops the straps on his singlet, then hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a powerbomb for a two-count. Waistlock go-behind by Guerrero, Malenko kicks backward for a low blow, then Eddie reaches up and lands his own low blow, then rolls Dean up for a two-count. After both take some recovery time, Malenko hits a scoop powerslam, then heads up top and actually hits a frog splash, then pulls Guerrero up before a three-count. Meh…I like certain breaks in character, but that seems a bit too stupid for Malenko's character. He possibly just passed on winning the US Title.
Malenko goes for a powerbomb, but Guerrero counters with a flying headscissor. Dean counters a moment later with a tilt-a-whirl slam. Guerrero botches a sunset flip attempt, and Malenko just improvises by being the one to attempt a futile pin. After the kickout, Guerrero with a magistral cradle. Two. Nice German suplex by Malenko. Another two. Beauty of a tornado DDT by Guerrero. He goes for Malenko's Texas Cloverleaf, and despite Malenko's resistance he turns him over in it.
As Malenko desperately tries to escape, Syxx strolls out to ringside, carrying the usual video camera, and tries to steal the US Title belt. Guerrero releases the Cloverleaf to go stop Syxx from stealing the belt, gets the belt from him, and unlike the previous PPV where he accidentally clocked Malenko with the title belt, he tries to hit him deliberately with it. However, Malenko, who has picked up Syxx's video camera, ducks the belt shot and then hammers Guerrero with the camera. 1-2-3, we have a new US Champion.
Result: Dean Malenko via pinfall, new US Champion
Rating: ***1/2
After the match, Malenko gets up and picks up the camera and acts really stunned that Syxx's camera is in the ring. The same one that he just picked up and deliberately used as a weapon. He's reacting like somebody who just found out that he accidentally won dirty. WTF. But then he tosses the camera down on Eddie angrily, so I guess he doesn't feel bad or anything.
Tony sends it to Mean Gene backstage. Gene, in teasing the hotline, says that a WCW wrestler has hit the road and is gone from the company. No idea who that is referencing. Roddy Piper storms in to cut a promo. He says that Flair and Arn promised to be here, but they're not here. Or at least I think that's what he said. Here come Chris Benoit, Mongo McMichael, and Jeff Jarrett, so I guess those are going to be Piper's partners tonight. They each get their promo time.
Psicosis vs. Ultimo Dragon (w/ Sonny Onoo): Mike Tenay joins the announce team for this one. Dragon and Psicosis go hold-for-counterhold and then reset. A second exchange mirrors the first. Psicosis lands a kick to the ribs, chops Dragon a couple of times, but Dragon baseball-slides through Psicosis's legs and then hits his signature series of kicks. Snapmare by Ultimo, a stiff kick to the back, and then a grapevine of Psicosis's leg. Psicosis back to his feet, hits a front dropkick and then pins Dragon for a two-count. He sends Dragon into the corner, where Dragon first kicks outward, then sets his legs straight upward for a headstand up on the top rope. Psicosis isn't sure how to attack this, and eventually runs himself into a kick.
Ultimo misses with an enziguri, but goes right back to it and connects on the second go. Slaps on a camel clutch, but Psicosis finds an escape, slips behind, and locks on his own camel clutch. He relaeases voluntarily, slams the Dragon, then scales the ropes and connects on a top-rope guillotine legdrop. Two-count. Psicosis hits a second-rope elbow, pins with his feet on the ropes, but again just two. Ultimo reverses an Irish whip and then hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Whip by Ultimo, who slaps on a sleeper until Psicosis drops down into a jawbreaker to break the hold. Dragon though, relentless, reapplies a side headlock. Psicosis escapes, but Dragon quickly stays on the ball with a back suplex. Psicosis gets a boot up on a corner charge, quickly jumps up and hits a spinning wheel kick off the top, then follows Dragon to the floor with an over-the-top suicide dive.
Both men slow to get up. Psicosis rams the Dragon into the apron, scrambles inside, then hits a slingshot legdrop on the floor. He doesn't land very well, and he gets up hobbled, possibly legitimately. In any case, the match continues. Psicosis tries to attack Dragon along the apron, but takes a lame catapult move that hangs him along the ropes. Dragon with a whip into the guardrail, a handspring back elbow, then he quickly climbs to the apron and hits an asai moonsault. Tenay: "That's his namesake, the asai moonsault." Wait, how is that his namesake? As Dragon goes back inside and distracts the official, Sonny Onoo hits a hard kick on Psicosis to put him down.
Back in the ring, Dragon hits a front slam and then lands a top-rope moonsault. Two-count. Psicosis attempts a powerbomb, Dragon counters into a hurracanrana, Psicosis rolls through the rana into his own pinning combo, and it's a nice near-fall. Magistral cradle by Ultimo gets another two. Psicosis clumsily attempts a corner charge and comes up empty. Dragon sets him up on the ropes, makes like he's going for a spinning hurracanrana, but Psicosis blocks him, then attempts a superplex…they both struggle for control of the superplex, both leaves the ropes, and both make a crash landing. They both slowly get up and simultaneously try to hit spinning wheel kicks on each other. Ultimo with a slam, he heads up top, but Psicosis catches him climbing and hits a top-rope hurracanrana. Tries a cocky pin, Dragon counters into his own pin at two, but only gets two for his attempt as well.
Psicosis jumps up on Dragon to try another hurracanrana, Dragon counters into a running powerbomb. He's slow to capitalize, but sets Psicosis up on the ropes. Makes like he's going for the spinning hurracanrana, transitions into a tornado DDT, then polishes things off with a tiger suplex. The crowd was really dead for this one, very much bringing it down.
Result: Ultimo Dragon via pinfall
Rating: ***
Mean Gene brings Diamond Dallas Page out for a word. Gene asks him if he might be subbing in for Rick Steiner tonight. DDP addresses Randy Savage, challenging him and calling him out. We hear Savage's voice, as he appears near the announce table with Miss Elizabeth. Savage says that he has to apologize to DDP. Says he has to give DDP credit. "You da man!" He says that he and Liz were in the airport earlier, near the magazine stand. As he says this, Liz produces a magazine that says "NUDE CELEBRITIES" across the cover. Ohhh, I'd forgotten about this. Savage starts naming the women that are inside the mag. After he has listed a handful, Page angrily yells at him not to go there. Savage forges ahead, and says that Page's wife Kimberly is the centerfold of this magazine. Liz opens up that centerfold, which has nWo spray-painted over the select areas.
Must have been a fairly recent decision to drop kayfabe on the Pages' marriage, since they just mentioned one or two Nitros ago about how Page once swindled her out of a bunch of money during his heel days. Anyway, DDP is furious at Macho, and Kimberly emerges from the back, crying. She's had nWo spray-painted on her dress. DDP is going to go over and console her when Savage suddenly blindsides him. He rips Page's shirt off and spray-paints him. He's going to attack him further when Kimberly lays over him. Liz gets in on the spray-painting and paints Kim's back. Somehow Liz went from total reluctance to be nWo to gleefully participating in the group overnight.
Martial Arts Match - Mortis (w/ James Vandenberg) vs. Glacier: This is our first Mortis match. He was brought in as a foil for Glacier, and ultimately ended up having more of a career than him. Mortis dodges a couple of kicks, but then spits at Glacier and takes a stiff kick for it. Glacier with a backdrop; Mortis connects on a punch from his knees to stem the tide. They go back and forth with kicks; Glacier ends up kicking Mortis off the apron and into the guardrail. Pescado to the floor. Glacier with a delayed suplex outside. Returns his man inside, makes a pin, but Vandenberg pulls him out by the leg at two. Glacier chases the manager around the ring, eventually catches him, but takes a hell of a baseball slide once he does.
Mortis with a guardrail smash. Then he puts Glacier over his shoulders, climbs the steel steps, and drops Glacier face-first along the apron. Returns Glacier inside, flips over the top rope, then lands a clothesline for a two-count. Misses a legdrop, and Glacier fights back with a couple of palm strikes. Mortis is back after him with a…rocker dropper. I'm just going to stop trying to call that move by its generic name, since I can't remember it but do remember that it's long and not descriptive. Glacier reverses a whip, Mortis attempts another rocker dropper on the way back, but Glacier counters into a powerbomb. Leg-sweep by Glacier. Crappy back elbow. Crappy tilt-a-whirl slam. Front kick by Glacier gets two. Roundhouse kick by Mortis gets two. Mortis sets up on the top rope, but Glacier falls into the ropes and crotches him. Glacier superplex. Two. Glacier tries jumping off the top, but Mortis counters into a northern lights suplex and also hooks the leg. Again, two.
Jawbreaker by Glacier. Attempted chop off the top rope misses. Cross-body gets two. He goes for his Cryonic Kick, but Mortis pulls the official into the way, then connects on his own superkick. 1-2-no. Vandenberg jumps up on the apron, tries to hold Glacier for Mortis's kick, but Glacier escapes and takes advantage of the confusion by connecting with the Cryonic Kick and scoring the three-count. Some of the action here was alright, but again the crowd wasn't having one bit of it.
Result: Glacier via pinfall
Rating: **
James Vandenberg signals down the aisle, and a large masked man emerges. He removes the mask, and it's Bryan Clark, formerly known as Adam Bomb in the WWF. I don't think we've seen any sign of him since about mid-1995, before Nitro was ever a thing. Clark and Mortis beat on Glacier, and Clark (the announcers don't know his WCW name) hits a front slam.
We see a replay of the footage of the Outsiders running the Steiners off the road and into a car wreck.
Strap Match - Buff Bagwell vs. Scotty Riggs: This feud is seriously still going? "The American Males Explode" should not have been an entire program. A one-off burial on Nitro would have been sufficient. After some posturing, Buff allows himself to get attached by the strap, and quickly gains the advantage, whipping away at his former partner. I do not seem to have a high opinion of strap matches due to how formulaic they seem to be, but obviously that one Vader-Sting match was incredible, and guys do take a serious beating for their paycheck in these. Riggs whips Bagwell repeatedly, Bagwell tries to take a rest, and Riggs jerks him by the strap into the ringpost.
Back in the ring, Bagwell manages a desperate punch to the gut from his knees, and manages to parlay that into a solid advantage as he mounts a comeback. Riggs baseball-slides through Bagwell's legs and crotches him with the strap a couple of times. He ties up Buff's legs, then attempts to start circulating around the corners, but gets distracted around corner #2 and instead mounts his opponent and starts a 10-punch until Buff counters into a nice stun gun.
Some more vicious whips by Bagwell. Buff goes around and tags two corners, but Riggs stops him and takes the fight to him, resetting the sequence. Some of Bagwell's in-match showboating is amusing, but it's so over-the-top at times that it sort of feels like a grab for cheap heat. I do like him mocking Riggs by standing him up and clapping his hands together overhead like the American Males used to. He attempts a pin, leading Randy Anderson to correct him as to what type of match this is. Bagwell shoves Anderson, and Anderson shoves him down.
Bagwell tries to refocus, slamming his partner but then telegraphing a dive off the ropes and ending up with a really obvious miss. Riggs takes the whip to Buff repeatedly, then powerbombs him. Climbs up top and hits a missile dropkick. Riggs ties Bagwell up and tags three corners, but Bagwell manages enough resistance to break the sequence. Buff backdrops Riggs over the top, hanging him violently (IS IT SYMBOLIC?) and then leaving him unconscious. Bagwell drags Scotty to the middle, then touches all four corners with ease to get to the pay window. For all the hate I gave this match to start, it was fairly entertaining.
Result: Buff Bagwell via touching all four corners in a straightforward, non-cliched way
Rating: **3/4
Here's an obnoxious black-and-white nWo promo from backstage. Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Scott Hall, Kevin Nash. Nash seems to be quite wasted for this.
Tornado Match - Harlem Heat (w/ Sister Sherri) vs. Public Enemy: If I have to watch PE, I suppose a tornado match with no DQ is the best option. They bring trash cans into the ring, but the Heat attack in mid-entry, and we're off to the races. Booker T and Rocco Rock pair off outside, so my first instinct was that we could safely ignore the other two, but we get split-screen, and Johnny Grunge actually blades really early in the match, gushing from his forehead. All four are back inside momentarily, and they trade dancing partners. The action isn't particularly easy to describe here, but some of the weapon bumps are pretty amusing.
Lots of messy and aimless brawling, mostly outside the ring. This being no DQ, Sherri keeps just openly getting her shots in on Public Enemy. The first minute or two of this match was entertaining, but it just devolves into increasingly-gassed wrestlers taking the same shots at each other with trash can lids and cookie sheets…it gets dull in a hurry. It's probably time to stop booking Booker T in repetitious and long street fights at Uncensored, since his match alongside Sting against the Road Warriors at last year's show was pretty awful. Stevie Ray hits a side salto on Rocco, Booker T splashes off the top on Rocco in a rocket launcher that gets two.
After PE puts Stevie through a table in their usual table flip spot outside the ring, Mongo McMichael and Jeff Jarrett come out of nowhere to run interference. Mongo for some reason hits Rocco with his briefcase, Booker hits the Harlem Hangover, 1-2-3. Tony Schiavone notes that Mongo and Jarrett were originally slated to be in this match before they got bumped up into the main event, but I still have no idea why they interfered on Harlem Heat's behalf here.
Result: Harlem Heat via pinfall
Rating: *
Mean Gene is backstage with The Giant, Lex Luger, and Scott Steiner. They're pissed about the nWo taking out Rick Steiner earlier. It sounds like they're just going ahead with these three as the full Team WCW.
TV Title - Prince Iaukea (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr: Mike Tenay is back with the announce crew for this one. Rey and Iaukea trade counters, with Iaukea transitioning nicely into a Samoan drop. However, he jumps gut-first onto the raised knees of Mysterio a moment later. Mysterio with a springboard somersault sentan that gets an early two-count. Iaukea attempts a splash mountain, but eats a hurracanrana, and again has to kick out before three. Rey pulls the Prince out over the top with a flying headscissor, then connects on a somersault plancha from the ring to the floor.
Iaukea re-enters and tries to fight back, connecting on a slingshot powerbomb. He boots Mysterio out of the ring with a baseball slide, then hits a springboard plancha to the floor. Iaukea has a decent move set on paper, but few of the moves actually look that good. He rams Mysterio into the guardrail, then tries a jumping cross-body off the guardrail that misses. Rey returns the champion into the ring, then connects on that split-legged moonsault that always just looks pathetically soft. Two-count. Bulldog by Rey gets another two. Quebrada; two yet again. Of course Dusty thinks it's the funniest thing in the world that anyone knows the word "quebrada." He says, "We should have had you out here during that tornado match. Lots of quebradas going around."
Mysterio with a sunset flip powerbomb off the ropes. Two. Rey continues with full control, connecting on a dropkick, but he loses control when he misses on a subsequent top-rope back splash. Northern lights suplex by Iaukea gets a two-count. A small but audible "boring" chant goes up. Please pull the plug on this Prince Iaukea crap. Iaukea springboards into a mid-air dropkick by Mysterio. He still manages to connect on a low blow a moment later, with an open question on how intentional it was. Rey reverses an Irish whip, and the two dropkick each other. The crowd on the hard camera side isn't even watching this match anymore.
Nice twisting moonsault off the top by Mysterio, which gets maybe a one-count before the bell rings. Rey gets up and celebrates like a moron, pretending that he thinks he won the title. The time limit expired. The crowd boos this nonsense out of the building. Mysterio gets on the mic and asks for more time. Iaukea agrees. Mysterio shouts happily about the agreement to give him more time, and a lot of the crowd boos the fact that this is apparently going to restart.
Rey leapfrogs Iaukea, armdrags him, and hits a jumping kick. Springboard legdrop by Mysterio gets two. Rey hits a very nice reverse hurracanrana off the ropes. Springboard hurracanrana by Rey, but as he tries to wrap up a pinning combo, Iaukea counters forward and gets the three-count. Please stop making me watch this guy wrestle. Possibly the most boring Mysterio match ever.
Result: Prince Iaukea via pinfall
Rating: *
Team nWo (Hulk Hogan/Kevin Nash/Scott Hall/Randy Savage) vs. Team Piper (Roddy Piper/Chris Benoit/Jeff Jarrett/Mongo McMichael) vs. Team WCW (Lex Luger/The Giant/Scott Steiner): So this is an elimination match, with pinfalls/submissions/over-the-top eliminations available. Chris Benoit and Scott Hall are the first two to the ring, and Benoit attacks Hall while The Giant is still making an entrance for Team WCW. I guess the full teams aren't starting things out? Maybe they're just keeping with the great tradition of the Uncensored main event being a huge cluster**** where they make up the rules as the match goes. I suppose the good news is that two of the teams sent out easily their best worker, and Giant rates pretty reasonably against his partners as well.
Hall hits a fallaway slam on Benoit. Giant is very deliberate in finally entering, but he attacks both of the others with a double clothesline. Tony Schiavone explains that after a five-minute round, more team members will come out. Giant chops the **** out of Benoit in a corner, then flings him across the ring. Corner whip and a clothesline by Giant on Hall as well. Benoit tries to take the fight back to Giant, but gets slammed down hard for his efforts. Hall tries a corner mount on Giant and also gets flung off. This dynamic continues for several minutes, Giant successfully taking both men on simultaneously and swatting away their attacks. He chokeslams Benoit and goes for the pin, but Hall for some reason breaks that up. Right as time is about to run out on this round one, we see a game-changer: Giant goes charging at Hall in a corner, Hall dodges, and Giant goes spilling out over the top, ending his evening.
As the clock runs out, here come Jeff Jarrett, Randy Savage, and Lex Luger, one by one. We're at 2-2-1 in the ring for team distribution. They've all barely hit the ring when we're getting a 30-second countdown to the next entrances. As that hits zero, here come Mongo McMichael, Kevin Nash, and Scott Steiner. Steiner hits suplexes on Jarrett and Hall, then a nice belly-to-belly on Nash. And a release Northern lights suplex on Savage. Again we're counting down from 30…as we are, Nash eliminates Jeff Jarrett over the top. And Hall backdrops Mongo out over the top, so Benoit is the last Horseman remaining.
As Roddy Piper makes his entrance, Scott Steiner gets eliminated off-camera as well. The announcers wonder where Hogan is. Then a 60-second countdown starts on the screen, I guess signaling that he gets a separate entrance. Then 10 seconds later Hogan emerges from the back anyway, Dennis Rodman in tow. I guess that temporary clock was just a way of covering while Hogan and Rodman missed their cue.
Piper and Savage spill to the floor through the ropes (not over the top), as Piper chokes Savage with a chain. Hogan stalls outside the ring for a decent while before entering. Piper promptly drags him back out under the bottom rope, and those two brawl up the aisle. Savage joins in to make it a 2-on-1 against Piper, but Piper sort of gouges and chokes his way free enough that all three end up going back to the inside. After a relatively entertaining first few minutes, this match devolved into a huge mess in a hurry. Out of nowhere, Roddy Piper gets eliminated really damn quickly, as Dennis Rodman pulled down the top rope and caused Piper to spill out over it.
Hogan has gone outside to brawl with Piper, but we're at 4-1-1 for non-eliminated participants in this match. Hall hits the Razor's Edge on Benoit, then both Hall and Nash combine to easily dump Benoit out over the top. All of Team Piper is gone, which is surprising since I was pretty sure they were the winners here. So we're at Lex Luger taking on all of Team nWo, who can quadruple-team him relentlessly. Rodman jumps up on the apron, and the nWo huddles up with him for a moment to hatch some sort of plan. Luger flips his way out of Nash's powerbomb attempt, and suddenly goes into full babyface comeback, hammering each remember of the nWo. He racks Savage and gets a submission, then clotheslines Nash over the top. He racks Hall and gets his third elimination in short order.
Suddenly it went from 4-on-1 to Hogan vs. Luger. Schiavone: "The most incredible one-man feat that we've ever seen in the history of this sport!" Luger gets Hulk up in the rack. Savage comes barreling in and sprays Luger in the eyes with something, causing Luger to collapse. Hogan falls on top, 1-2-3, and the nWo wins as usual.
Result: Team nWo wins when Hulk Hogan pins Lex Luger for the final elimination
Rating: *1/2
The nWo spray-paints Luger, and Dennis Rodman gets in and slaps Luger across the face several times.
They depart the ring victorious. Seems like we're at the end of the show, but Sting suddenly lowers from the ceiling. Hall tries charging him, but Sting starts laying the wood to everyone to a huge pop, attacking Hall, Nash, and Savage and hitting Scorpion Death Drops on each. Hogan and Rodman have backed safely up the aisle.
Sting points the bat up the aisle in the direction of Hogan and Rodman. Hogan screams at Sting, "PUT THE BAT DOWN AND I'LL KILL YOU!" Sting puts the bat down. Surprisingly, Hogan actually does go in. Sting hammers him with several punches, hits another Scorpion Death Drop, and the show cuts away to closing credits. Well, that was a cool ending at least.
Overall: The whole felt like it was worse than the sum of its parts, as there was some watchable stuff here, but the show felt very difficult to sit through overall. Again though, the ending was a fun one, even as someone who didn't really care about the Sting angle.
Charleston, SC
Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, and Dusty Rhodes welcome us to Charleston. Tony says that if Team WCW wins tonight, the nWo has to give up all their belts and can't wrestle for 36 months. WTF? Those are way harsher terms than what Mean Gene rattled off on Nitro. So basically Team WCW doesn't win tonight. Anyway, onto our opener.
US Title - Eddie Guerrero (c) vs. Dean Malenko: Tony calls this, in the annals of the US Title, "the most anticipated defense of all time." Sigh. In any case, it really is a nice bonus that these two are contesting a non-cruiserweight title, so that we can see a feud like this over a heavyweight title and the Cruiserweight Title can have its own separate thing going on. Or at least that was a thought that I had before I realized that Sean Waltman has the Cruiserweight Title.
Angry staredown in the middle before things get physical. Dean pushes Eddie down, Eddie pops up quickly with a few punches and a shoulderblock. Side headlock and a few punches by Guerrero, but Malenko transitions out and then gets his own shoulderblock in. Guerrero takes a breather, and Malenko is waiting for his re-entry, attacking and then stomping him violently in the corner. We have a mixed crowd here, as even Malenko's recent aggressiveness hasn't really made him the heel in this match. Guerrero takes the attack back at Malenko, getting his own mudhole-stomping sequence in at an adjacent corner.
Malenko launches Guerrero into the corner, then as he goes to follow up, we unfortunately get a cut-away to backstage, where the Outsiders and Syxx are hovering over a face-down wrestler. The announcers think that it's Rick Steiner. The cut-away only lasts 15 seconds or so, and we're back at the match; Malenko is applying a half-crab and wrenching Guerrero's leg. He gets up and dumps Guerrero out over the top, which the announcers note is legal, as I guess this is no DQ. Malenko goes and gets the title belt, then hits Guerrero with it a few times before referee Randy Anderson wrestles it away from him. Malenko hits a clothesline and gets a two-count. As the announcers are noting that Malenko is setting the pace in this match, Guerrero fights back with sort of a turning front suplex (closer to what would become the Rock Bottom than anything).
Eddie rakes Malenko's eyes with a spinning stomp, hits a European uppercut, then a targeted dropkick to take out Malenko's knee. The crowd actually begins to turn on Guerrero here as he continues working it over. I immediately wonder if this Charleston crowd is expressing some…Southern biases, but Guerrero is sort of leaning into it in his reactions to the crowd, and then Schiavone comments that he seems to have a surly demeanor. And then Dusty is confused by WTF "surly" means. Eddie drops his slingshot splash on the bad knee, then grapevines it. Usually this type of limb work is more commonly done from the heel side, so maybe I was misreading the build to this match, and maybe they're just supposed to be fighting in some tweener territory, though I wouldn't have guessed that from Schiavone and Gene Okerlund consistently taking Eddie's side during the build.
As Eddie works Dean in an STF, we get a split-screen look backstage at the downed wrestler being placed on a stretcher, and yes it is Rick Steiner. In the match, Malenko tries to escape the ring, but Guerrero aggressively pursues and keeps beating him down out there. Malenko finally turns the tide with a reversed whip into the steel guardrail. That doesn't get him much of a respite though, as Guerrero is right back after the bad knee with another targeted dropkick that rams the leg into the ringpost.
On the split-screen, we see an ambulance haul Rick Steiner off. Back in the match, Eddie channels Ric Flair by slapping on the figure-four and actually grabbing the ropes for leverage. Okay yes, Eddie is definitely working in at least tweener territory, sort of validating all of Malenko's suspicion and distrust. Malenko eventually eye-gouges his way out of the hold. Back to a vertical base, Guerrero connects on a handful of European uppercuts, then puts his man back down with a back elbow. He misses on a slingshot splash when Malenko rolls out, but he baseball-slides Malenko hard into the guardrail, then Eddie goes up top for the big dive that ends badly for him.
Guerrero clutches his newly-hurt ribs, and Malenko is quick to capitalize by picking him up and dropping him ribs-first on the guardrail. Back inside the ring, Dean works on an armbar for a bit. Eddie manages an escape, drops the straps on his singlet, then hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a powerbomb for a two-count. Waistlock go-behind by Guerrero, Malenko kicks backward for a low blow, then Eddie reaches up and lands his own low blow, then rolls Dean up for a two-count. After both take some recovery time, Malenko hits a scoop powerslam, then heads up top and actually hits a frog splash, then pulls Guerrero up before a three-count. Meh…I like certain breaks in character, but that seems a bit too stupid for Malenko's character. He possibly just passed on winning the US Title.
Malenko goes for a powerbomb, but Guerrero counters with a flying headscissor. Dean counters a moment later with a tilt-a-whirl slam. Guerrero botches a sunset flip attempt, and Malenko just improvises by being the one to attempt a futile pin. After the kickout, Guerrero with a magistral cradle. Two. Nice German suplex by Malenko. Another two. Beauty of a tornado DDT by Guerrero. He goes for Malenko's Texas Cloverleaf, and despite Malenko's resistance he turns him over in it.
As Malenko desperately tries to escape, Syxx strolls out to ringside, carrying the usual video camera, and tries to steal the US Title belt. Guerrero releases the Cloverleaf to go stop Syxx from stealing the belt, gets the belt from him, and unlike the previous PPV where he accidentally clocked Malenko with the title belt, he tries to hit him deliberately with it. However, Malenko, who has picked up Syxx's video camera, ducks the belt shot and then hammers Guerrero with the camera. 1-2-3, we have a new US Champion.
Result: Dean Malenko via pinfall, new US Champion
Rating: ***1/2
After the match, Malenko gets up and picks up the camera and acts really stunned that Syxx's camera is in the ring. The same one that he just picked up and deliberately used as a weapon. He's reacting like somebody who just found out that he accidentally won dirty. WTF. But then he tosses the camera down on Eddie angrily, so I guess he doesn't feel bad or anything.
Tony sends it to Mean Gene backstage. Gene, in teasing the hotline, says that a WCW wrestler has hit the road and is gone from the company. No idea who that is referencing. Roddy Piper storms in to cut a promo. He says that Flair and Arn promised to be here, but they're not here. Or at least I think that's what he said. Here come Chris Benoit, Mongo McMichael, and Jeff Jarrett, so I guess those are going to be Piper's partners tonight. They each get their promo time.
Psicosis vs. Ultimo Dragon (w/ Sonny Onoo): Mike Tenay joins the announce team for this one. Dragon and Psicosis go hold-for-counterhold and then reset. A second exchange mirrors the first. Psicosis lands a kick to the ribs, chops Dragon a couple of times, but Dragon baseball-slides through Psicosis's legs and then hits his signature series of kicks. Snapmare by Ultimo, a stiff kick to the back, and then a grapevine of Psicosis's leg. Psicosis back to his feet, hits a front dropkick and then pins Dragon for a two-count. He sends Dragon into the corner, where Dragon first kicks outward, then sets his legs straight upward for a headstand up on the top rope. Psicosis isn't sure how to attack this, and eventually runs himself into a kick.
Ultimo misses with an enziguri, but goes right back to it and connects on the second go. Slaps on a camel clutch, but Psicosis finds an escape, slips behind, and locks on his own camel clutch. He relaeases voluntarily, slams the Dragon, then scales the ropes and connects on a top-rope guillotine legdrop. Two-count. Psicosis hits a second-rope elbow, pins with his feet on the ropes, but again just two. Ultimo reverses an Irish whip and then hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Whip by Ultimo, who slaps on a sleeper until Psicosis drops down into a jawbreaker to break the hold. Dragon though, relentless, reapplies a side headlock. Psicosis escapes, but Dragon quickly stays on the ball with a back suplex. Psicosis gets a boot up on a corner charge, quickly jumps up and hits a spinning wheel kick off the top, then follows Dragon to the floor with an over-the-top suicide dive.
Both men slow to get up. Psicosis rams the Dragon into the apron, scrambles inside, then hits a slingshot legdrop on the floor. He doesn't land very well, and he gets up hobbled, possibly legitimately. In any case, the match continues. Psicosis tries to attack Dragon along the apron, but takes a lame catapult move that hangs him along the ropes. Dragon with a whip into the guardrail, a handspring back elbow, then he quickly climbs to the apron and hits an asai moonsault. Tenay: "That's his namesake, the asai moonsault." Wait, how is that his namesake? As Dragon goes back inside and distracts the official, Sonny Onoo hits a hard kick on Psicosis to put him down.
Back in the ring, Dragon hits a front slam and then lands a top-rope moonsault. Two-count. Psicosis attempts a powerbomb, Dragon counters into a hurracanrana, Psicosis rolls through the rana into his own pinning combo, and it's a nice near-fall. Magistral cradle by Ultimo gets another two. Psicosis clumsily attempts a corner charge and comes up empty. Dragon sets him up on the ropes, makes like he's going for a spinning hurracanrana, but Psicosis blocks him, then attempts a superplex…they both struggle for control of the superplex, both leaves the ropes, and both make a crash landing. They both slowly get up and simultaneously try to hit spinning wheel kicks on each other. Ultimo with a slam, he heads up top, but Psicosis catches him climbing and hits a top-rope hurracanrana. Tries a cocky pin, Dragon counters into his own pin at two, but only gets two for his attempt as well.
Psicosis jumps up on Dragon to try another hurracanrana, Dragon counters into a running powerbomb. He's slow to capitalize, but sets Psicosis up on the ropes. Makes like he's going for the spinning hurracanrana, transitions into a tornado DDT, then polishes things off with a tiger suplex. The crowd was really dead for this one, very much bringing it down.
Result: Ultimo Dragon via pinfall
Rating: ***
Mean Gene brings Diamond Dallas Page out for a word. Gene asks him if he might be subbing in for Rick Steiner tonight. DDP addresses Randy Savage, challenging him and calling him out. We hear Savage's voice, as he appears near the announce table with Miss Elizabeth. Savage says that he has to apologize to DDP. Says he has to give DDP credit. "You da man!" He says that he and Liz were in the airport earlier, near the magazine stand. As he says this, Liz produces a magazine that says "NUDE CELEBRITIES" across the cover. Ohhh, I'd forgotten about this. Savage starts naming the women that are inside the mag. After he has listed a handful, Page angrily yells at him not to go there. Savage forges ahead, and says that Page's wife Kimberly is the centerfold of this magazine. Liz opens up that centerfold, which has nWo spray-painted over the select areas.
Must have been a fairly recent decision to drop kayfabe on the Pages' marriage, since they just mentioned one or two Nitros ago about how Page once swindled her out of a bunch of money during his heel days. Anyway, DDP is furious at Macho, and Kimberly emerges from the back, crying. She's had nWo spray-painted on her dress. DDP is going to go over and console her when Savage suddenly blindsides him. He rips Page's shirt off and spray-paints him. He's going to attack him further when Kimberly lays over him. Liz gets in on the spray-painting and paints Kim's back. Somehow Liz went from total reluctance to be nWo to gleefully participating in the group overnight.
Martial Arts Match - Mortis (w/ James Vandenberg) vs. Glacier: This is our first Mortis match. He was brought in as a foil for Glacier, and ultimately ended up having more of a career than him. Mortis dodges a couple of kicks, but then spits at Glacier and takes a stiff kick for it. Glacier with a backdrop; Mortis connects on a punch from his knees to stem the tide. They go back and forth with kicks; Glacier ends up kicking Mortis off the apron and into the guardrail. Pescado to the floor. Glacier with a delayed suplex outside. Returns his man inside, makes a pin, but Vandenberg pulls him out by the leg at two. Glacier chases the manager around the ring, eventually catches him, but takes a hell of a baseball slide once he does.
Mortis with a guardrail smash. Then he puts Glacier over his shoulders, climbs the steel steps, and drops Glacier face-first along the apron. Returns Glacier inside, flips over the top rope, then lands a clothesline for a two-count. Misses a legdrop, and Glacier fights back with a couple of palm strikes. Mortis is back after him with a…rocker dropper. I'm just going to stop trying to call that move by its generic name, since I can't remember it but do remember that it's long and not descriptive. Glacier reverses a whip, Mortis attempts another rocker dropper on the way back, but Glacier counters into a powerbomb. Leg-sweep by Glacier. Crappy back elbow. Crappy tilt-a-whirl slam. Front kick by Glacier gets two. Roundhouse kick by Mortis gets two. Mortis sets up on the top rope, but Glacier falls into the ropes and crotches him. Glacier superplex. Two. Glacier tries jumping off the top, but Mortis counters into a northern lights suplex and also hooks the leg. Again, two.
Jawbreaker by Glacier. Attempted chop off the top rope misses. Cross-body gets two. He goes for his Cryonic Kick, but Mortis pulls the official into the way, then connects on his own superkick. 1-2-no. Vandenberg jumps up on the apron, tries to hold Glacier for Mortis's kick, but Glacier escapes and takes advantage of the confusion by connecting with the Cryonic Kick and scoring the three-count. Some of the action here was alright, but again the crowd wasn't having one bit of it.
Result: Glacier via pinfall
Rating: **
James Vandenberg signals down the aisle, and a large masked man emerges. He removes the mask, and it's Bryan Clark, formerly known as Adam Bomb in the WWF. I don't think we've seen any sign of him since about mid-1995, before Nitro was ever a thing. Clark and Mortis beat on Glacier, and Clark (the announcers don't know his WCW name) hits a front slam.
We see a replay of the footage of the Outsiders running the Steiners off the road and into a car wreck.
Strap Match - Buff Bagwell vs. Scotty Riggs: This feud is seriously still going? "The American Males Explode" should not have been an entire program. A one-off burial on Nitro would have been sufficient. After some posturing, Buff allows himself to get attached by the strap, and quickly gains the advantage, whipping away at his former partner. I do not seem to have a high opinion of strap matches due to how formulaic they seem to be, but obviously that one Vader-Sting match was incredible, and guys do take a serious beating for their paycheck in these. Riggs whips Bagwell repeatedly, Bagwell tries to take a rest, and Riggs jerks him by the strap into the ringpost.
Back in the ring, Bagwell manages a desperate punch to the gut from his knees, and manages to parlay that into a solid advantage as he mounts a comeback. Riggs baseball-slides through Bagwell's legs and crotches him with the strap a couple of times. He ties up Buff's legs, then attempts to start circulating around the corners, but gets distracted around corner #2 and instead mounts his opponent and starts a 10-punch until Buff counters into a nice stun gun.
Some more vicious whips by Bagwell. Buff goes around and tags two corners, but Riggs stops him and takes the fight to him, resetting the sequence. Some of Bagwell's in-match showboating is amusing, but it's so over-the-top at times that it sort of feels like a grab for cheap heat. I do like him mocking Riggs by standing him up and clapping his hands together overhead like the American Males used to. He attempts a pin, leading Randy Anderson to correct him as to what type of match this is. Bagwell shoves Anderson, and Anderson shoves him down.
Bagwell tries to refocus, slamming his partner but then telegraphing a dive off the ropes and ending up with a really obvious miss. Riggs takes the whip to Buff repeatedly, then powerbombs him. Climbs up top and hits a missile dropkick. Riggs ties Bagwell up and tags three corners, but Bagwell manages enough resistance to break the sequence. Buff backdrops Riggs over the top, hanging him violently (IS IT SYMBOLIC?) and then leaving him unconscious. Bagwell drags Scotty to the middle, then touches all four corners with ease to get to the pay window. For all the hate I gave this match to start, it was fairly entertaining.
Result: Buff Bagwell via touching all four corners in a straightforward, non-cliched way
Rating: **3/4
Here's an obnoxious black-and-white nWo promo from backstage. Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Scott Hall, Kevin Nash. Nash seems to be quite wasted for this.
Tornado Match - Harlem Heat (w/ Sister Sherri) vs. Public Enemy: If I have to watch PE, I suppose a tornado match with no DQ is the best option. They bring trash cans into the ring, but the Heat attack in mid-entry, and we're off to the races. Booker T and Rocco Rock pair off outside, so my first instinct was that we could safely ignore the other two, but we get split-screen, and Johnny Grunge actually blades really early in the match, gushing from his forehead. All four are back inside momentarily, and they trade dancing partners. The action isn't particularly easy to describe here, but some of the weapon bumps are pretty amusing.
Lots of messy and aimless brawling, mostly outside the ring. This being no DQ, Sherri keeps just openly getting her shots in on Public Enemy. The first minute or two of this match was entertaining, but it just devolves into increasingly-gassed wrestlers taking the same shots at each other with trash can lids and cookie sheets…it gets dull in a hurry. It's probably time to stop booking Booker T in repetitious and long street fights at Uncensored, since his match alongside Sting against the Road Warriors at last year's show was pretty awful. Stevie Ray hits a side salto on Rocco, Booker T splashes off the top on Rocco in a rocket launcher that gets two.
After PE puts Stevie through a table in their usual table flip spot outside the ring, Mongo McMichael and Jeff Jarrett come out of nowhere to run interference. Mongo for some reason hits Rocco with his briefcase, Booker hits the Harlem Hangover, 1-2-3. Tony Schiavone notes that Mongo and Jarrett were originally slated to be in this match before they got bumped up into the main event, but I still have no idea why they interfered on Harlem Heat's behalf here.
Result: Harlem Heat via pinfall
Rating: *
Mean Gene is backstage with The Giant, Lex Luger, and Scott Steiner. They're pissed about the nWo taking out Rick Steiner earlier. It sounds like they're just going ahead with these three as the full Team WCW.
TV Title - Prince Iaukea (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr: Mike Tenay is back with the announce crew for this one. Rey and Iaukea trade counters, with Iaukea transitioning nicely into a Samoan drop. However, he jumps gut-first onto the raised knees of Mysterio a moment later. Mysterio with a springboard somersault sentan that gets an early two-count. Iaukea attempts a splash mountain, but eats a hurracanrana, and again has to kick out before three. Rey pulls the Prince out over the top with a flying headscissor, then connects on a somersault plancha from the ring to the floor.
Iaukea re-enters and tries to fight back, connecting on a slingshot powerbomb. He boots Mysterio out of the ring with a baseball slide, then hits a springboard plancha to the floor. Iaukea has a decent move set on paper, but few of the moves actually look that good. He rams Mysterio into the guardrail, then tries a jumping cross-body off the guardrail that misses. Rey returns the champion into the ring, then connects on that split-legged moonsault that always just looks pathetically soft. Two-count. Bulldog by Rey gets another two. Quebrada; two yet again. Of course Dusty thinks it's the funniest thing in the world that anyone knows the word "quebrada." He says, "We should have had you out here during that tornado match. Lots of quebradas going around."
Mysterio with a sunset flip powerbomb off the ropes. Two. Rey continues with full control, connecting on a dropkick, but he loses control when he misses on a subsequent top-rope back splash. Northern lights suplex by Iaukea gets a two-count. A small but audible "boring" chant goes up. Please pull the plug on this Prince Iaukea crap. Iaukea springboards into a mid-air dropkick by Mysterio. He still manages to connect on a low blow a moment later, with an open question on how intentional it was. Rey reverses an Irish whip, and the two dropkick each other. The crowd on the hard camera side isn't even watching this match anymore.
Nice twisting moonsault off the top by Mysterio, which gets maybe a one-count before the bell rings. Rey gets up and celebrates like a moron, pretending that he thinks he won the title. The time limit expired. The crowd boos this nonsense out of the building. Mysterio gets on the mic and asks for more time. Iaukea agrees. Mysterio shouts happily about the agreement to give him more time, and a lot of the crowd boos the fact that this is apparently going to restart.
Rey leapfrogs Iaukea, armdrags him, and hits a jumping kick. Springboard legdrop by Mysterio gets two. Rey hits a very nice reverse hurracanrana off the ropes. Springboard hurracanrana by Rey, but as he tries to wrap up a pinning combo, Iaukea counters forward and gets the three-count. Please stop making me watch this guy wrestle. Possibly the most boring Mysterio match ever.
Result: Prince Iaukea via pinfall
Rating: *
Team nWo (Hulk Hogan/Kevin Nash/Scott Hall/Randy Savage) vs. Team Piper (Roddy Piper/Chris Benoit/Jeff Jarrett/Mongo McMichael) vs. Team WCW (Lex Luger/The Giant/Scott Steiner): So this is an elimination match, with pinfalls/submissions/over-the-top eliminations available. Chris Benoit and Scott Hall are the first two to the ring, and Benoit attacks Hall while The Giant is still making an entrance for Team WCW. I guess the full teams aren't starting things out? Maybe they're just keeping with the great tradition of the Uncensored main event being a huge cluster**** where they make up the rules as the match goes. I suppose the good news is that two of the teams sent out easily their best worker, and Giant rates pretty reasonably against his partners as well.
Hall hits a fallaway slam on Benoit. Giant is very deliberate in finally entering, but he attacks both of the others with a double clothesline. Tony Schiavone explains that after a five-minute round, more team members will come out. Giant chops the **** out of Benoit in a corner, then flings him across the ring. Corner whip and a clothesline by Giant on Hall as well. Benoit tries to take the fight back to Giant, but gets slammed down hard for his efforts. Hall tries a corner mount on Giant and also gets flung off. This dynamic continues for several minutes, Giant successfully taking both men on simultaneously and swatting away their attacks. He chokeslams Benoit and goes for the pin, but Hall for some reason breaks that up. Right as time is about to run out on this round one, we see a game-changer: Giant goes charging at Hall in a corner, Hall dodges, and Giant goes spilling out over the top, ending his evening.
As the clock runs out, here come Jeff Jarrett, Randy Savage, and Lex Luger, one by one. We're at 2-2-1 in the ring for team distribution. They've all barely hit the ring when we're getting a 30-second countdown to the next entrances. As that hits zero, here come Mongo McMichael, Kevin Nash, and Scott Steiner. Steiner hits suplexes on Jarrett and Hall, then a nice belly-to-belly on Nash. And a release Northern lights suplex on Savage. Again we're counting down from 30…as we are, Nash eliminates Jeff Jarrett over the top. And Hall backdrops Mongo out over the top, so Benoit is the last Horseman remaining.
As Roddy Piper makes his entrance, Scott Steiner gets eliminated off-camera as well. The announcers wonder where Hogan is. Then a 60-second countdown starts on the screen, I guess signaling that he gets a separate entrance. Then 10 seconds later Hogan emerges from the back anyway, Dennis Rodman in tow. I guess that temporary clock was just a way of covering while Hogan and Rodman missed their cue.
Piper and Savage spill to the floor through the ropes (not over the top), as Piper chokes Savage with a chain. Hogan stalls outside the ring for a decent while before entering. Piper promptly drags him back out under the bottom rope, and those two brawl up the aisle. Savage joins in to make it a 2-on-1 against Piper, but Piper sort of gouges and chokes his way free enough that all three end up going back to the inside. After a relatively entertaining first few minutes, this match devolved into a huge mess in a hurry. Out of nowhere, Roddy Piper gets eliminated really damn quickly, as Dennis Rodman pulled down the top rope and caused Piper to spill out over it.
Hogan has gone outside to brawl with Piper, but we're at 4-1-1 for non-eliminated participants in this match. Hall hits the Razor's Edge on Benoit, then both Hall and Nash combine to easily dump Benoit out over the top. All of Team Piper is gone, which is surprising since I was pretty sure they were the winners here. So we're at Lex Luger taking on all of Team nWo, who can quadruple-team him relentlessly. Rodman jumps up on the apron, and the nWo huddles up with him for a moment to hatch some sort of plan. Luger flips his way out of Nash's powerbomb attempt, and suddenly goes into full babyface comeback, hammering each remember of the nWo. He racks Savage and gets a submission, then clotheslines Nash over the top. He racks Hall and gets his third elimination in short order.
Suddenly it went from 4-on-1 to Hogan vs. Luger. Schiavone: "The most incredible one-man feat that we've ever seen in the history of this sport!" Luger gets Hulk up in the rack. Savage comes barreling in and sprays Luger in the eyes with something, causing Luger to collapse. Hogan falls on top, 1-2-3, and the nWo wins as usual.
Result: Team nWo wins when Hulk Hogan pins Lex Luger for the final elimination
Rating: *1/2
The nWo spray-paints Luger, and Dennis Rodman gets in and slaps Luger across the face several times.
They depart the ring victorious. Seems like we're at the end of the show, but Sting suddenly lowers from the ceiling. Hall tries charging him, but Sting starts laying the wood to everyone to a huge pop, attacking Hall, Nash, and Savage and hitting Scorpion Death Drops on each. Hogan and Rodman have backed safely up the aisle.
Sting points the bat up the aisle in the direction of Hogan and Rodman. Hogan screams at Sting, "PUT THE BAT DOWN AND I'LL KILL YOU!" Sting puts the bat down. Surprisingly, Hogan actually does go in. Sting hammers him with several punches, hits another Scorpion Death Drop, and the show cuts away to closing credits. Well, that was a cool ending at least.
Overall: The whole felt like it was worse than the sum of its parts, as there was some watchable stuff here, but the show felt very difficult to sit through overall. Again though, the ending was a fun one, even as someone who didn't really care about the Sting angle.
10-14-2016
, 08:48 PM
March 17, 1997
NITRO
Savannah, GA
The show cold-opens on the footage of last night, showing Lex Luger getting spray-painted…no footage of Sting's appearance afterward though.
And now we're in the arena for our opening match, though Tony Schiavone notes that there was more to the story than Luger getting spray-painted, and that we'll see more later.
Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr: Rey executes a sunset flip early that gets an early two-count. Psicosis powers Rey down to the mat out of a test of strength. Rey works his way back up, then springs upward into a nice dropkick to break free. He monkey-flips Psicosis, then a headscissor takeover sends his man sprawling out of the ring. Hurracanrana from the apron to the floor. Back into the ring, where Psicosis picks Rey up over his shoulders and rams him chest-first into the turnbuckles, but he ends up spilling to the outside when Rey dodges his subsequent corner charge. Great somersault plancha to the outside by Rey.
Rolls Psicosis back in, springboard hurracanrana into a pinning combo, partially botched the impact and inadvertently drove Psicosis head-first into the mat, but in any case gets the pinfall. They didn't get enough time here to really get a full match going.
Result: Rey Mysterio Jr. via pinfall
Mean Gene is joined by Arn Anderson at the top of the aisle. Happily, just an Arn promo and not a Horsemen promo. Gene notes that the people don't really know what's been going on in Anderson's life the past 90 days, but says that he's been injured, and wanted to give Arn the chance to address this issue tonight. Arn, before getting into his own stuff, says that he's glad to see that Sting came home last night. Moving onto his own health, he says that he suffered a really bad neck injury, but that he's going to have to go into surgery, as his injury is causing paralysis in his left hand.
He said he's been holding on until he could see that the Horsemen were ready to succeed on their own. He says that when you lay on the operating table, you don't know how or even if you'll wake up. He goes on to tell a story about the apparent estrangement between Kevin Sullivan and his son that had happened earlier in this past year, and expresses some regret about turning on Sullivan at Great American Bash. He says that this isn't a sob story, adding that every athlete has their trials and tribulations. "I'm telling you and I'm telling the rest of the world, you haven't seen the last of Arn Anderson: I WILL be back." Truly one of the all-time masters of the stick. Respect.
After a commercial, we see stills of the Randy Savage/Diamond Dallas Page confrontation from last night, when Savage and Miss Elizabeth publicized the nude photo spread that Kimberly Page had done, then spray-painted both DDP and Kimberly.
Maxx vs. DDP: Maxx used to be DDP's bodyguard, though that isn't talked about here. This squash is over in the matter of about 90 seconds. Page hits a splash off the top rope, then a Diamond Cutter a moment later to ship it.
Result: DDP via pinfall
Mean Gene grabs an interview with Page. DDP says that Savage was "born to be a chalk outline" and calls him a "dead man walking." As he seems to be walking away from the promo, we hear Savage's voice over the PA. He's got a mic up in the crowd, again flanked by Liz. Savage said that he did a favor for Page's wife, and says that if Page wants a match, that can happen.
Page says he wants to go right now, and goes charging up chasing him into the crowd. Savage runs off and escapes.
Konnan & Hugh Morrus (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Joe Gomez & Renegade: Before this match can really get going, we get an interruption from Eric Bischoff, Scott Hall, and Kevin Nash. Bischoff announces that the Outsiders are going to step into the ring and wrestle tonight. They interrupted the start of a random other match for that? Not that I want to watch this match or anything, but still.
Hugh Morrus and Joe Gomez kick things off. Gomez hurts his knee when missing on a corner charge, and he falls into a heat segment right away. Konnan hits a targeted dropkick at Gomez's leg while Morrus holds it up, and the Dungeon guys continue that focused leg attack, including Konnan wrenching the leg back pretty hard with a half-crab. Gomez finally gets free after dodging an elbow drop, and he limps over to make the hot tag to Renegade. Renegade gets some offense in, then curiously tags in Gomez, who is still doubled over and not ready to compete. Announcers call Renegade out for being an idiot. Anyway, the Dungeon pulls a helpless Gomez back in, Morrus hits the No Laughing Matter, and this one is over.
Result: Konnan & Hugh Morrus via pinfall
US Title - Dean Malenko (c) vs. Scotty Riggs: While I liked WCW's tendency to have the title on the line almost every time a champion fought, I can't say that I like this thing where they give title shots to absolute randoms who have no kayfabe argument to be getting them. At the start of this match, we get split-screen stills of Malenko's title win from last night.
Dean hits a low targeted dropkick, then a baseball slide that knocks Riggs to the floor, and he follows him out to drop him on the guardrail. Back in the ring, a corner whip with a clothesline follow. Riggs gets a little bit of offense in, a backdrop and a dropkick, but then falls victim to a stun gun, and Malenko ends it with a victory roll directly after.
Malenko looks into the camera in the corner and threatens to come after Syxx's Cruiserweight Title next.
Result: Dean Malenko via pinfall
Lex Luger & The Giant vs. Tarantula & Knuckles Nelson: Nothing to really describe here. Total squash, no token jobber offense or anything. Giant pins one of them via chokeslam right before Lex racks the other one.
Result: Lex Luger & The Giant via pinfall
Mean Gene comes out to grab a word. Giant and Luger are happy about Sting coming home to WCW. Luger cuts an incoherent and ridiculous promo…something about how his faith in the Tooth Fairy has finally paid off, because Sting is home. Yes, really. Anyway, he's happy.
We get stills of Mortis and his new large unnamed friend who debuted last night.
Ultimo Dragon vs. Bobby Eaton: I always do a double-take at Bobby Eaton sightings. "Wat, he's still here?" He hits an early clothesline, but he still gets squashed in a damn hurry here. Ultimo hits the spinning hurracanrana off the top rope and records a pin in roughly a minute.
Result: Ultimo Dragon via pinfall
Here's an nWo promo segment. Most of the entire group comes out, only missing a few of the jobbers. It's a bunch of the standard gloating, and Kevin Nash says that he and Scott Hall are putting their Tag Team Titles up against the Steiner Brothers at Spring Stampede.
After the break, we get the change-over to the hour #2 announcers, some banter about the show up to this point, and an announcement that Randy Savage vs. DDP has been signed for Spring Stampede.
Alex Wright & Mark Starr vs. Jeff Jarrett & Mongo McMichael (w/ Debra): Feels like we haven't seen Alex Wright in ages. Maybe one appearance not very long ago, but he's really become scarce. I know that he eventually gets at least a bit of a reignited push. Before this match kicks off, we see stills of Mongo and Jarrett running interference and randomly screwing Public Enemy over last night.
Wright executes an armdrag and a jumping heel kick on Jarrett, but Mongo gets a cheap knee in from the apron to stop his momentum. Jarrett drops a leg along the ropes, tags McMichael in, and Mongo comes in to drop an elbow. After Jarrett tags back in, he misses on a corner charge, enabling Wright to tag out, but the Horsemen get Mark Starr under control quickly. Jarrett slaps on the figure-four and Starr insta-taps. The story here is that Jarrett and Mongo really are on the same page now.
Result: Jeff Jarrett & Mongo McMichael via submission
Public Enemy comes charging out after the match, attacking the Horsemen. Debra actually gets in a shot with the briefcase, but Johnny Grunge no-sells. The two teams end up brawling all the way up the aisle, with the Horsemen eventually getting the better of the exchange and running PE off. They come over and join Gene Okerlund for a promo. They confirm that they're taking on Public Enemy at Spring Stampede. Not a lot else going on here.
Scott Norton vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr: Speaking of guys I haven't had the occasion to write about in forever, I have to admit that I got a little excited about the prospect of being able to watch Scott Norton not sell anything. He completely no-sells an early dropkick before leveling Chavo with a clothesline. Chavo goes outside, leads Norton on a chase around the ring, gets in the ring to get a running start, and hits Norton with a flying forearm on the apron. No effect. Eventually he dropkicks Norton off the apron to the floor, but Norton lands on his feet and demands that Guerrero jump out at him so that he can be unaffected by a pescado attempt. Guerrero obliges, jumping into Norton's waiting arms before being dumped back into the ring.
A moment later, Chavo tries to attack Norton's leg, first with a targeted dropkick and then with a chop block. Norton actually briefly sells this as a hurt leg, but shakes it off about two seconds later. Chavo with more attacks on the leg, then he actually connects on a missile dropkick, but Norton doesn't go down as a result of the missile dropkick either. I don't know how many times I've seen someone be hit by a missile dropkick and not go down. Norton promptly reverses a corner whip, headbutts Chavo to the ground, big powerbomb, 1-2-3.
Result: Scott Norton via pinfall
We hear now in a taped black-and-white promo from Hulk Hogan and Dennis Rodman. They don't say anything, but mercifully this one is short.
After the break, we hear the nWo music yet again. Enough. The Outsiders and Syxx get into the ring and sing that "Bad Boys" song that was heavily employed on the show "Cops."
Shame on all of you who enjoyed Kevin Nash at this time.
Tag Team Titles - The Outsiders (c) (w/ Syxx) vs. Mike Enos & Bunkhouse Buck: Can't say that I realized that Bunkhouse Buck was still around. Also, until I just googled him, I did not realize that it was him who came back to briefly play the role of Jack Swagger's father during Swagger's ill-fated World Heavyweight Title reign. Hall botches a bulldog on Buck early, and Buck's attempt to tag out is met with resistance by Enos. The Outsiders have Buck isolated, with Nash hammering him in the corner and then flinging him toward Enos. The referee enforces that as a tag.
The Outsiders take their turns with Enos as well. Enos does briefly get an advantage after Buck hits a cheap knee from the apron, but Hall counters him into a back suplex and then tags the big man in. Jackknife powerbomb by Big Kev, Razor's Edge by Hall, and this one is over.
Result: The Outsiders via pinfall
We see a replay of Roddy Piper last night before his match, wondering where Ric Flair and Arn Anderson were.
Chris Benoit (w/ Woman) vs. Billy Kidman: Benoit marches in aggressively and immediately attacks before the bell, forcing Kidman into the corner and stomping a mudhole in him there. He launches Kidman into the air and lets him drop. Abruptly goes into the Crippler Crossface, and Kidman insta-taps. Another match that lasts probably less than two minutes.
Result: Chris Benoit via submission
Mean Gene joins Benoit and Woman in the ring. Before the interview really gets going, we see the crowd rise up, pop big, and it's Ric Flair coming down the aisle. Benoit addresses Arn, saying that he believes him when he says he'll be back. He turns to Kevin Sullivan, saying that Sullivan is alienating everyone in his life who matters to him. Woman goes the "no comment" route.
Flair, having waited patiently, gets his turn on the stick. Flair says that he heard Piper calling him out last night for not being there. He says that he was out partying in Savannah, Georgia. Says that he gave Piper the privilege of walking in and fighting alongside the great fighting force of the Horsemen, and says that from what the Horsemen tell him, Piper dropped the ball. Flair says that maybe, when Piper said a few weeks ago that he was tired and wanted to go home to his family, Flair should have listened to him. He continues to mock Piper for a few more lines, and that's the promo.
After a commercial, we find Michael Buffer in the ring to introduce the main event. I…don't even know what match this is, but in any case we're getting the "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLE" intro.
Harlem Heat (w/ Sister Sherri) vs. The Steiner Brothers: Strange main event to get the Buffer treatment, as they really never mentioned this match at any point previously in the show, at least that I can recall. Also strange that Rick Steiner is back so quickly after being ambushed out of last night's PPV main event.
Booker T hits a spinning heel kick on Scott Steiner. Scott reverses an Irish whip, boot to the gut, press slam. Tag to Rick. Couple of running clotheslines, but Booker gouges the eyes and brings in Stevie Ray. Rick reverses a whip, backdrop, two-count. Cheap knee from the apron by Booker, and Stevie hits a powerslam off an Irish whip. The Heat double-team him. Booker hits a side slam, but misses an elbow, and Scott gets a tag that he treats as a hot tag despite barely having been out of the ring for more than a minute. All four in the ring, they pair off and brawl, and as I suspected, here's the nWo for the mass run-in.
Result: No Contest
Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, the Outsiders, Buff, Norton, Vincent…they have the numbers, and they overwhelm the two teams. Here come Lex Luger and the Giant to functionally even things out, and the WCW wrestlers clear the ring. As they hold the ring, Sting drops down from the ceiling and stands alongside them. He points the bat at the nWo while Hogan pretends to want to get at him. The nWo backs away as the show ends.
Overall: The show started off pretty well with the Mysterio-Psicosis opener and a good Arn Anderson promo, but it devolved into a lot of nothing after that. Weak episode.
NITRO
Savannah, GA
The show cold-opens on the footage of last night, showing Lex Luger getting spray-painted…no footage of Sting's appearance afterward though.
And now we're in the arena for our opening match, though Tony Schiavone notes that there was more to the story than Luger getting spray-painted, and that we'll see more later.
Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr: Rey executes a sunset flip early that gets an early two-count. Psicosis powers Rey down to the mat out of a test of strength. Rey works his way back up, then springs upward into a nice dropkick to break free. He monkey-flips Psicosis, then a headscissor takeover sends his man sprawling out of the ring. Hurracanrana from the apron to the floor. Back into the ring, where Psicosis picks Rey up over his shoulders and rams him chest-first into the turnbuckles, but he ends up spilling to the outside when Rey dodges his subsequent corner charge. Great somersault plancha to the outside by Rey.
Rolls Psicosis back in, springboard hurracanrana into a pinning combo, partially botched the impact and inadvertently drove Psicosis head-first into the mat, but in any case gets the pinfall. They didn't get enough time here to really get a full match going.
Result: Rey Mysterio Jr. via pinfall
Mean Gene is joined by Arn Anderson at the top of the aisle. Happily, just an Arn promo and not a Horsemen promo. Gene notes that the people don't really know what's been going on in Anderson's life the past 90 days, but says that he's been injured, and wanted to give Arn the chance to address this issue tonight. Arn, before getting into his own stuff, says that he's glad to see that Sting came home last night. Moving onto his own health, he says that he suffered a really bad neck injury, but that he's going to have to go into surgery, as his injury is causing paralysis in his left hand.
Quote:
I've tried and tried and tried to put this thing off, but there's a reason I've been putting it off. About 10 years ago, the woman that raised me was laying on the couch right there in Charlotte in my home, dying with cancer. I said, "Why, granny? Why are you putting yourself through all this pain? Why are you hanging on?" She said, "Son, I asked the good Lord to wait long enough until I see you as a good, mature, responsible adult that could be the head of your family. I see that you are; now I can go in peace." And she did. She laid down that night; I never talked to her again.
After a commercial, we see stills of the Randy Savage/Diamond Dallas Page confrontation from last night, when Savage and Miss Elizabeth publicized the nude photo spread that Kimberly Page had done, then spray-painted both DDP and Kimberly.
Maxx vs. DDP: Maxx used to be DDP's bodyguard, though that isn't talked about here. This squash is over in the matter of about 90 seconds. Page hits a splash off the top rope, then a Diamond Cutter a moment later to ship it.
Result: DDP via pinfall
Mean Gene grabs an interview with Page. DDP says that Savage was "born to be a chalk outline" and calls him a "dead man walking." As he seems to be walking away from the promo, we hear Savage's voice over the PA. He's got a mic up in the crowd, again flanked by Liz. Savage said that he did a favor for Page's wife, and says that if Page wants a match, that can happen.
Page says he wants to go right now, and goes charging up chasing him into the crowd. Savage runs off and escapes.
Konnan & Hugh Morrus (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Joe Gomez & Renegade: Before this match can really get going, we get an interruption from Eric Bischoff, Scott Hall, and Kevin Nash. Bischoff announces that the Outsiders are going to step into the ring and wrestle tonight. They interrupted the start of a random other match for that? Not that I want to watch this match or anything, but still.
Hugh Morrus and Joe Gomez kick things off. Gomez hurts his knee when missing on a corner charge, and he falls into a heat segment right away. Konnan hits a targeted dropkick at Gomez's leg while Morrus holds it up, and the Dungeon guys continue that focused leg attack, including Konnan wrenching the leg back pretty hard with a half-crab. Gomez finally gets free after dodging an elbow drop, and he limps over to make the hot tag to Renegade. Renegade gets some offense in, then curiously tags in Gomez, who is still doubled over and not ready to compete. Announcers call Renegade out for being an idiot. Anyway, the Dungeon pulls a helpless Gomez back in, Morrus hits the No Laughing Matter, and this one is over.
Result: Konnan & Hugh Morrus via pinfall
US Title - Dean Malenko (c) vs. Scotty Riggs: While I liked WCW's tendency to have the title on the line almost every time a champion fought, I can't say that I like this thing where they give title shots to absolute randoms who have no kayfabe argument to be getting them. At the start of this match, we get split-screen stills of Malenko's title win from last night.
Dean hits a low targeted dropkick, then a baseball slide that knocks Riggs to the floor, and he follows him out to drop him on the guardrail. Back in the ring, a corner whip with a clothesline follow. Riggs gets a little bit of offense in, a backdrop and a dropkick, but then falls victim to a stun gun, and Malenko ends it with a victory roll directly after.
Malenko looks into the camera in the corner and threatens to come after Syxx's Cruiserweight Title next.
Result: Dean Malenko via pinfall
Lex Luger & The Giant vs. Tarantula & Knuckles Nelson: Nothing to really describe here. Total squash, no token jobber offense or anything. Giant pins one of them via chokeslam right before Lex racks the other one.
Result: Lex Luger & The Giant via pinfall
Mean Gene comes out to grab a word. Giant and Luger are happy about Sting coming home to WCW. Luger cuts an incoherent and ridiculous promo…something about how his faith in the Tooth Fairy has finally paid off, because Sting is home. Yes, really. Anyway, he's happy.
We get stills of Mortis and his new large unnamed friend who debuted last night.
Ultimo Dragon vs. Bobby Eaton: I always do a double-take at Bobby Eaton sightings. "Wat, he's still here?" He hits an early clothesline, but he still gets squashed in a damn hurry here. Ultimo hits the spinning hurracanrana off the top rope and records a pin in roughly a minute.
Result: Ultimo Dragon via pinfall
Here's an nWo promo segment. Most of the entire group comes out, only missing a few of the jobbers. It's a bunch of the standard gloating, and Kevin Nash says that he and Scott Hall are putting their Tag Team Titles up against the Steiner Brothers at Spring Stampede.
After the break, we get the change-over to the hour #2 announcers, some banter about the show up to this point, and an announcement that Randy Savage vs. DDP has been signed for Spring Stampede.
Alex Wright & Mark Starr vs. Jeff Jarrett & Mongo McMichael (w/ Debra): Feels like we haven't seen Alex Wright in ages. Maybe one appearance not very long ago, but he's really become scarce. I know that he eventually gets at least a bit of a reignited push. Before this match kicks off, we see stills of Mongo and Jarrett running interference and randomly screwing Public Enemy over last night.
Wright executes an armdrag and a jumping heel kick on Jarrett, but Mongo gets a cheap knee in from the apron to stop his momentum. Jarrett drops a leg along the ropes, tags McMichael in, and Mongo comes in to drop an elbow. After Jarrett tags back in, he misses on a corner charge, enabling Wright to tag out, but the Horsemen get Mark Starr under control quickly. Jarrett slaps on the figure-four and Starr insta-taps. The story here is that Jarrett and Mongo really are on the same page now.
Result: Jeff Jarrett & Mongo McMichael via submission
Public Enemy comes charging out after the match, attacking the Horsemen. Debra actually gets in a shot with the briefcase, but Johnny Grunge no-sells. The two teams end up brawling all the way up the aisle, with the Horsemen eventually getting the better of the exchange and running PE off. They come over and join Gene Okerlund for a promo. They confirm that they're taking on Public Enemy at Spring Stampede. Not a lot else going on here.
Scott Norton vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr: Speaking of guys I haven't had the occasion to write about in forever, I have to admit that I got a little excited about the prospect of being able to watch Scott Norton not sell anything. He completely no-sells an early dropkick before leveling Chavo with a clothesline. Chavo goes outside, leads Norton on a chase around the ring, gets in the ring to get a running start, and hits Norton with a flying forearm on the apron. No effect. Eventually he dropkicks Norton off the apron to the floor, but Norton lands on his feet and demands that Guerrero jump out at him so that he can be unaffected by a pescado attempt. Guerrero obliges, jumping into Norton's waiting arms before being dumped back into the ring.
A moment later, Chavo tries to attack Norton's leg, first with a targeted dropkick and then with a chop block. Norton actually briefly sells this as a hurt leg, but shakes it off about two seconds later. Chavo with more attacks on the leg, then he actually connects on a missile dropkick, but Norton doesn't go down as a result of the missile dropkick either. I don't know how many times I've seen someone be hit by a missile dropkick and not go down. Norton promptly reverses a corner whip, headbutts Chavo to the ground, big powerbomb, 1-2-3.
Result: Scott Norton via pinfall
We hear now in a taped black-and-white promo from Hulk Hogan and Dennis Rodman. They don't say anything, but mercifully this one is short.
After the break, we hear the nWo music yet again. Enough. The Outsiders and Syxx get into the ring and sing that "Bad Boys" song that was heavily employed on the show "Cops."
Shame on all of you who enjoyed Kevin Nash at this time.
Tag Team Titles - The Outsiders (c) (w/ Syxx) vs. Mike Enos & Bunkhouse Buck: Can't say that I realized that Bunkhouse Buck was still around. Also, until I just googled him, I did not realize that it was him who came back to briefly play the role of Jack Swagger's father during Swagger's ill-fated World Heavyweight Title reign. Hall botches a bulldog on Buck early, and Buck's attempt to tag out is met with resistance by Enos. The Outsiders have Buck isolated, with Nash hammering him in the corner and then flinging him toward Enos. The referee enforces that as a tag.
The Outsiders take their turns with Enos as well. Enos does briefly get an advantage after Buck hits a cheap knee from the apron, but Hall counters him into a back suplex and then tags the big man in. Jackknife powerbomb by Big Kev, Razor's Edge by Hall, and this one is over.
Result: The Outsiders via pinfall
We see a replay of Roddy Piper last night before his match, wondering where Ric Flair and Arn Anderson were.
Chris Benoit (w/ Woman) vs. Billy Kidman: Benoit marches in aggressively and immediately attacks before the bell, forcing Kidman into the corner and stomping a mudhole in him there. He launches Kidman into the air and lets him drop. Abruptly goes into the Crippler Crossface, and Kidman insta-taps. Another match that lasts probably less than two minutes.
Result: Chris Benoit via submission
Mean Gene joins Benoit and Woman in the ring. Before the interview really gets going, we see the crowd rise up, pop big, and it's Ric Flair coming down the aisle. Benoit addresses Arn, saying that he believes him when he says he'll be back. He turns to Kevin Sullivan, saying that Sullivan is alienating everyone in his life who matters to him. Woman goes the "no comment" route.
Flair, having waited patiently, gets his turn on the stick. Flair says that he heard Piper calling him out last night for not being there. He says that he was out partying in Savannah, Georgia. Says that he gave Piper the privilege of walking in and fighting alongside the great fighting force of the Horsemen, and says that from what the Horsemen tell him, Piper dropped the ball. Flair says that maybe, when Piper said a few weeks ago that he was tired and wanted to go home to his family, Flair should have listened to him. He continues to mock Piper for a few more lines, and that's the promo.
After a commercial, we find Michael Buffer in the ring to introduce the main event. I…don't even know what match this is, but in any case we're getting the "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLE" intro.
Harlem Heat (w/ Sister Sherri) vs. The Steiner Brothers: Strange main event to get the Buffer treatment, as they really never mentioned this match at any point previously in the show, at least that I can recall. Also strange that Rick Steiner is back so quickly after being ambushed out of last night's PPV main event.
Booker T hits a spinning heel kick on Scott Steiner. Scott reverses an Irish whip, boot to the gut, press slam. Tag to Rick. Couple of running clotheslines, but Booker gouges the eyes and brings in Stevie Ray. Rick reverses a whip, backdrop, two-count. Cheap knee from the apron by Booker, and Stevie hits a powerslam off an Irish whip. The Heat double-team him. Booker hits a side slam, but misses an elbow, and Scott gets a tag that he treats as a hot tag despite barely having been out of the ring for more than a minute. All four in the ring, they pair off and brawl, and as I suspected, here's the nWo for the mass run-in.
Result: No Contest
Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, the Outsiders, Buff, Norton, Vincent…they have the numbers, and they overwhelm the two teams. Here come Lex Luger and the Giant to functionally even things out, and the WCW wrestlers clear the ring. As they hold the ring, Sting drops down from the ceiling and stands alongside them. He points the bat at the nWo while Hogan pretends to want to get at him. The nWo backs away as the show ends.
Overall: The show started off pretty well with the Mysterio-Psicosis opener and a good Arn Anderson promo, but it devolved into a lot of nothing after that. Weak episode.
10-15-2016
, 11:01 AM
March 17, 1997
RAW
Syracuse, NY
We open up in the arena, which is quickly filled with the sounds of "OHHHHH WHAT A RUSH!" Vince McMahon welcomes us to Monday Night Raw, and is joined by Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross.
Legion of Doom vs. Savio Vega & Crush (w/ Nation of Domination minus Faarooq): Vince says that Faarooq and Ahmed Johnson are barred from ringside for this match. LOD greets Savio and Crush outside the ring, attacking quickly. We're into a four-way brawl right away, with Animal battling Crush inside and Hawk battling Savio outside. I was just starting to think that this was a tornado match when referee Mike Chioda finally gets things under control. We see Ahmed and Faarooq on separate split-screen promos; they say nothing in particular. Well, Faarooq doesn't. When it comes to Ahmed, your guess is as good as mine.
Savio with a hammerlock, but Animal elbows his way out and makes the tag. We get more split-screen action, footage from Madison Square Garden last night, when the Nation jumped Ahmed during his match and gave him a group beatdown. Back to live action: Hawk slams Crush, drops the fist, and we are at break. After we get back, Savio has control of Hawk, hitting a spinning wheel kick in the corner. They go to try to get another word with Faarooq backstage, but nobody is around. They go find Ahmed, ask if he's concerned that Faarooq might be headed to the ring, and after Ahmed says something or other, Faarooq jumps him from behind with a night stick and lays him out.
Again back to the match, Animal is trying to handle both Nation members, hitting a double clothesline. Hawk comes in and clears out Crush, Animal lifts Savio up on his shoulders, but before Hawk can deliver the Doomsday Device, Faarooq runs in with the night stick and attacks. The NOD beatdown is on.
Result: Legion of Doom via DQ
Ahmed out for the save. Hits the Pearl River Plunge on one of the rappers. Doomsday Device on D-Lo Brown. The faces hold the ring.
After commercial, we go to the announce table. Vince says there's some controversy he wants to talk about. Says there are some rumors going around the locker room, and he hopes that Gorilla Monsoon is backstage to clear this thing up. Says there's some question about whether tonight's match is for the championship or not for the championship. Well Vince, we're all of about three weeks since the last time you had people out here bragging about how the WWF doesn't engage in false advertising, and you certainly promised a title match last week, so Santiago shouldn't have been in any danger at all, should he have, Colonel?
Vince says that it's supposed to be for the title, but that there are rumors that it won't be. And Jerry Lawler says that there are rumors that Shawn Michaels is coming to the arena tonight. Vince says that it is not a rumor, but a fact, that Steve Austin is in the building tonight.
Hunter Hearst-Helmsley (w/ Chyna) vs. Flash Funk: Okay, so Chyna has a name now, and the reveal of it wasn't on Raw I guess. During HHH's entrance, we see the footage of her various interference and attacks that led to her officially becoming Hunter's cornerperson.
After referee Earl Hebner gets Chyna to leave the ring, this thing is a go. HHH with an armdrag and a mocking curtsey. Funk takes Helmsley down a few times in a row, then clotheslines him out over the top. Misses with a baseball slide to the floor, and Hunter is right on him with a clothesline. Back into the ring, Helmsley ducks under a reverse leapfrog by Funk and sort of counters it into an electric chair drop.
Hunter with a suplex and a knee drop. Two-count. The two trade fists back and forth as Vince continues to tease that tonight's title match might not be a title match. Backdrop by Funk, followed by a running clothesline, corner whip, avalanche, front slam, and a guillotine legdrop off the top. Chyna pulls Funk out of the ring at the two-count. As Funk is distracted, HHH hits a German suplex, bridges, but only gets two. Helmsley scales the ropes, but jumps into a crescent kick. Two-count for Flash, who follows with a back suplex and then starts to scale the ropes again when Chyna distracts him. HHH takes advantage this time with a Pedigree, and that's all she wrote.
Result: HHH via pinfall
Hunter and Chyna get some more shots in after the bell until a gaggle of officials break things up.
Backstage, we see Shawn Michaels arriving at the arena as we head to commercial break.
Before the next match, we see a bizarre scene from a political press conference, when then-New Jersey Governor Christine Todd Whitman had apparently signed a bill that formally deregulated wrestling as a sport, which I guess eliminated a tax that had been being levied for televising wrestling in that state. Of all the weird options they could have for a wrestler appearing at this…The Undertaker was in attendance.
Mini Vader & Mini Mankind vs. Mini Goldust & Mascarita Sagrada Jr: Well this is random. Vader attacks Goldust early, taking the fight to him with some power moves. Goldust throws a couple of armdrags and a dropkick. Mankind enters without a tag; Goldust tags Sagrada in. Flying headscissor by Sagrada and then a couple of armdrags, the second sending Mankind sprawling. He's proud of himself over this, but Vader comes in with a blindside. He knocks Sagrada out, Goldust is in, and we see a somersault sentan from the apron to the floor. These guys might mimic characters, but they don't mimic their offensive arsenals.
On the inside, Sagrada wraps up Mankind in a victory roll and gets the three-count.
Result: Mini Goldust & Mascarita Sagrada Jr. via pinfall
Sagrada chases Mini Vader up the ramp, pushes him off, then does a flying cross-body off the top of the ramp to the adjacent floor, a pretty damn big fall for a mini.
Gorilla Monsoon is backstage. Vince asks him if tonight's main event is going to be a title match. Gorilla says, "Yes, I promised that this would be a title match and it's going to be a title match." Vince asks if this timing is unfair to The Undertaker, but Gorilla shrugs that off and just reiterates that tonight's match is a title match. What in the actual **** was the point of teasing that it might not be? Bizarre.
After a commercial, here is Bret Hart for an interview with Kevin Kelly. He says that he doesn't care what anyone thinks about this title match tonight. Says he won the Royal Rumble, that he won the Final Four, and that he deserves a little respect around here. Quite a bit of booing from the crowd. Bret says that he's going to win tonight and change the face of WrestleMania, and will give The Undertaker his title shot soon enough. He turns his attention to Steve Austin, vowing that Austin won't be able to scream his submission loudly enough at Mania. He closes out his promo, getting a very mixed response from the people in attendance.
After a break, here is, unfortunately, our Intercontinental Champion, Rocky Maivia. He's here to do commentary for The Sultan's squash match.
The Sultan (w/ The Iron Sheik & Bob Backlund) vs. Mike Bell: Sultan brings the violent attack, hitting a strong-looking piledriver, a top-rope splash, and he quickly wraps him up in the camel clutch to end it, practically before it started. Was a really well-done squash…I never remembered Sultan looking even remotely interesting at any other time, but this one little squash was nice.
Result: The Sultan via submission
Sultan confronts Rocky outside the ring. Tony Atlas jumps the guardrail to hold Rocky back and calm things down. Things don't end up coming to blows.
We're onto hour #2, with the opening graphics playing again. It's a little weird to play the opening graphics for a second time at the halfway mark; I realize that they branded the hours differently, but I'm pretty sure the show was in TV Guide as one two-hour block and not actual separate shows.
It's time for Shawn Michaels, as he comes out and joins Vince McMahon for an interview. Shawn thanks the fans for all the cards and support, etc., thanks them for being patient with "the world's most emotional wrestler." Says nobody but his parents and Vince McMahon know how difficult he is to deal with, but was very grateful to hear how many people cared. Vince asks for the update on the knee. HBK says the knee is coming along, is going to have an appointment with Dr. Andrews soon, but hopes he'll be back in a couple of months. In a jokey tone, he goes on to say that he has a bone to pick…not with the fans, but with Vince. He wonders why Vince hasn't invited him to WrestleMania. He says he's just going to invite himself, and is going to come sit next to Vince during the WWF Title match. This segment is incredibly obnoxious…it's a bunch of Shawn acting all cutesy, not being at all entertaining, and Vince reacting like a giddy schoolgirl. Shawn says he'll be at the Slammys as well, and with that, we are mercifully released from this segment.
Backstage, Undertaker slams part of the steel cage down. He's not happy about Bret Hart getting this title shot tonight.
Vader (w/ Mankind & Paul Bearer) vs. The British Bulldog (w/ Owen Hart): The two lock up to a stalemate to start. While Davey is surely intended as the functional babyface of this match, this crowd doesn't give him any real positive reaction; it's just negativity for both guys. Vader hammers him down in the corner, knocks him down a few times in the middle of the ring, but Bulldog no-sells a couple of short clotheslines. Vader no-sells two shoulderblocks, but a diving clothesline knocks the big man down, then another running clothesline does the same. ****ing delayed suplex on Vader. Seriously? It's one thing to suplex Vader…he can pretty much help any reasonably strong person do that by launching himself off the mat. But holding him vertical for multiple seconds like that is awfully impressive, even if Vader was doing what he could to make it easier.
Bulldog follows the suplex with an over-the-top-rope clothesline, and we go to commercial. Back from break, Vader has retaken the advantage, and hits a splash off the second rope. Two-count. Davey tries a sunset flip, Vader blocks and sits down, but lands on his tailbone when the Bulldog moves. Bulldog attempts a crucifix pinning combo, but Vader holds his feet and then converts it into a Samoan drop. The big man follows with a splash that gets two, then continues to assert his physical dominance until doing that spot where he climbs to the second rope and blatantly jumps into a powerslam. We get another show of strength a moment later, when Vader executes a corner whip, attempts a cross-body in the corner, and Bulldog catches him and slams him. Bulldog sets up for the running powerslam, and as Vader is over his shoulder, Mankind runs interference to cause the DQ.
Result: British Bulldog via DQ
As Bulldog is down, Vader and Mankind go to double-team Owen Hart. Bulldog knocks Paul Bearer off the apron, gets the urn, and uses it to clear out both of Bearer's men to save Owen. The champions hold the ring to some sort of modestly-positive crowd reception.
Ken Shamrock strolls down to sit in on commentary for the next match.
Billy Gunn vs. Aaron Ferguson: Ferguson is a local jobber, and not one I remember at all. Not really sure why they decided to fill these minutes with a Billy Gunn squash match. Gunn keeps jawing at Ken Shamrock at ringside, keeps trying to use submission moves, and then makes the jobber tap with an armbar.
Result: Billy Gunn via submission
Billy gets in Shamrock's face at ringside and challenges him to get in the ring. Shamrock says that he's not going to back down from a challenge, and he drops his headset. Shamrock goes in, locks in an armbar, and has Billy tapping in desperation. Shamrock voluntarily releases, then Billy acts like it was a fluke and tries to challenge Shamrock again. This time he locks Billy into an ankle lock in a few seconds.
Billy appears to smarten up and wash his hands of the situation, but then goes and gets a steel chair from ringside. The official stands in his way, gets the chair out of his hands, and Billy finally tucks tail and leaves, but shouts at Shamrock, "This ain't over." I have zero recollection of this segment, or of them ever facing off, so I'm not sure that it actually ain't over.
They go to Steve Austin backstage. Austin isn't impressed with Ken Shamrock. Says "Billy Gunn just got done with a grueling match, and then Shamrock went in and tried to take advantage of him." Vince asks why Austin is here tonight. Austin doesn't really answer, says that he's the King of the Ring and nobody can tell him that he can't be here. He says "by hook or by crook, Bret Hart will be the champion after tonight, and it will all be on the line at WrestleMania."
The cage is being constructed around the ring. Time for a backstage promo from Sid, who threatens Austin to keep his ass out of tonight's match.
Alright, we're ready to go with the main event.
WWF Title Steel Cage Match - Sid (c) vs. Bret Hart: Cage escape, over the top or through the door, is our win condition here. This, again, is a match where neither guy is getting a particularly positive reaction, though Bret seems to have the better crowd share. The two men lock up, wrestle into the corner, Bret hammers away with punches and kicks and then chokes at Sid with his boot. Sid fires back with those awful-looking punches, and we see Steve Austin watching on from backstage. Bret with a snapmare and an elbow drop. He tries to climb out of the cage, but it proves too early; Sid is easily able to get up in time to reach up and pull him down.
Sid picks Bret up and rams him into the cage multiple times. He drops him and starts his own climb out, but stalls like an idiot and allows Bret the recovery time needed to catch up and block him. They battle back and forth while standing on the upper runs of the cage, Sid eventually knocking Bret to the top turnbuckle, but as Sid drops back to the mat, Bret capitalizes with a diving clothesline. Again Bret tries to climb out, and again he doesn't have a prayer; Sid knocks him back to the mat. Sid actually appears to have a chance to escape through the door, but here comes Steve Austin to slam the door before Sid can get to it. Sid looks furious as the match goes to break.
After commercial, Bret is working Sid over again in the corner. Sid reverses a corner whip, and as Bret staggers out of the corner, Sid capitalizes with the powerbomb. Sid goes to climb out, but Austin climbs up to greet him and prevent the escape.
Sid and Stone Cold continue battling until Bret Hart recovers and joins in, actually temporarily double-teaming Sid along with Austin. Undertaker comes charging out, also in aid of his opponent in six days. All four fighting at the top of the cage. Taker eventually knocks Austin down to the floor. Bret superplexes Sid off the top of the cage. Undertaker drops down to the floor, where Austin waffles him with a steel chair. Back in the ring, Sid has actually gotten up before Bret after the superplex, and he attempts to climb out over the top. Bret heads over to try to escape through the door, and then awkwardly has to delay when he easily could have just won right there, as Undertaker is slow to his spot. Eventually Taker comes over and slams the cage door in Bret's face. As this happens, Sid completes his escape and reaches the floor to retain the WWF Title.
Result: Sid via over-the-top cage escape
Bret is sulking around the ring despondent as the show goes to commercial.
After the break, Vince McMahon goes into the ring to grab a word, saying, "Bret Hart, you must be extremely frustrated over what has just happened." Bret shoves Vince down and grabs the mic, then launches into a rant that, shockingly at the time, did not get censored at all on the live broadcast (nor is it censored on the WWE Network).
Steve Austin shows up on the Titantron and yells at Bret that all he ever does is cry. Says that he came out and tried to help, "but you threw it all away, because you're a loser!" Austin is pissed that their match on Sunday isn't going to be for the WWF Title. Bret starts firing back at Austin that he's scared to come out here. As Bret is continuing to rant, Sid returns to the ring and is going to start fighting again. Before they re-engage, here comes Undertaker, and Bret launches out of the ring with a suicide dive at him. Steve Austin runs out and attacks, and the two pairings of Bret/Austin and Taker/Sid begin brawling with each other.
Vince gets back on the announce mic and talks about what a shame it is that Bret has devolved into this whining and crying that defines him today. An official and Pat Patterson try to haul Bret off, and Bret gets loose and punches Patterson to the ground. Vince is furious, "HE JUST HIT HALL OF FAMER PAT PATTERSON! THAT DIRTY ROTTEN SON OF A --" He doesn't complete the sentence, but Austin catches back up to Bret and their brawl continues. Shawn Michaels appears at the top of the ramp, slowly walking toward the mayhem. He sort of just walks around both pairs of brawls, then goes and gets a steel chair, but that doesn't amount to anything. Bret and Austin brawl up the ramp, and the show signs off.
Overall: An entertaining episode on the whole, and a really compelling end sequence that, again, was very stunning when it happened given the lack of censorship as it went over the air. That last segment is one of those historic and memorable segments that you don't forget if you were watching when it happened. The gradual descent of the Bret Hart character is just such great storytelling, especially given the way it often mirrored reality.
RAW
Syracuse, NY
We open up in the arena, which is quickly filled with the sounds of "OHHHHH WHAT A RUSH!" Vince McMahon welcomes us to Monday Night Raw, and is joined by Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross.
Legion of Doom vs. Savio Vega & Crush (w/ Nation of Domination minus Faarooq): Vince says that Faarooq and Ahmed Johnson are barred from ringside for this match. LOD greets Savio and Crush outside the ring, attacking quickly. We're into a four-way brawl right away, with Animal battling Crush inside and Hawk battling Savio outside. I was just starting to think that this was a tornado match when referee Mike Chioda finally gets things under control. We see Ahmed and Faarooq on separate split-screen promos; they say nothing in particular. Well, Faarooq doesn't. When it comes to Ahmed, your guess is as good as mine.
Savio with a hammerlock, but Animal elbows his way out and makes the tag. We get more split-screen action, footage from Madison Square Garden last night, when the Nation jumped Ahmed during his match and gave him a group beatdown. Back to live action: Hawk slams Crush, drops the fist, and we are at break. After we get back, Savio has control of Hawk, hitting a spinning wheel kick in the corner. They go to try to get another word with Faarooq backstage, but nobody is around. They go find Ahmed, ask if he's concerned that Faarooq might be headed to the ring, and after Ahmed says something or other, Faarooq jumps him from behind with a night stick and lays him out.
Again back to the match, Animal is trying to handle both Nation members, hitting a double clothesline. Hawk comes in and clears out Crush, Animal lifts Savio up on his shoulders, but before Hawk can deliver the Doomsday Device, Faarooq runs in with the night stick and attacks. The NOD beatdown is on.
Result: Legion of Doom via DQ
Ahmed out for the save. Hits the Pearl River Plunge on one of the rappers. Doomsday Device on D-Lo Brown. The faces hold the ring.
After commercial, we go to the announce table. Vince says there's some controversy he wants to talk about. Says there are some rumors going around the locker room, and he hopes that Gorilla Monsoon is backstage to clear this thing up. Says there's some question about whether tonight's match is for the championship or not for the championship. Well Vince, we're all of about three weeks since the last time you had people out here bragging about how the WWF doesn't engage in false advertising, and you certainly promised a title match last week, so Santiago shouldn't have been in any danger at all, should he have, Colonel?
Vince says that it's supposed to be for the title, but that there are rumors that it won't be. And Jerry Lawler says that there are rumors that Shawn Michaels is coming to the arena tonight. Vince says that it is not a rumor, but a fact, that Steve Austin is in the building tonight.
Hunter Hearst-Helmsley (w/ Chyna) vs. Flash Funk: Okay, so Chyna has a name now, and the reveal of it wasn't on Raw I guess. During HHH's entrance, we see the footage of her various interference and attacks that led to her officially becoming Hunter's cornerperson.
After referee Earl Hebner gets Chyna to leave the ring, this thing is a go. HHH with an armdrag and a mocking curtsey. Funk takes Helmsley down a few times in a row, then clotheslines him out over the top. Misses with a baseball slide to the floor, and Hunter is right on him with a clothesline. Back into the ring, Helmsley ducks under a reverse leapfrog by Funk and sort of counters it into an electric chair drop.
Hunter with a suplex and a knee drop. Two-count. The two trade fists back and forth as Vince continues to tease that tonight's title match might not be a title match. Backdrop by Funk, followed by a running clothesline, corner whip, avalanche, front slam, and a guillotine legdrop off the top. Chyna pulls Funk out of the ring at the two-count. As Funk is distracted, HHH hits a German suplex, bridges, but only gets two. Helmsley scales the ropes, but jumps into a crescent kick. Two-count for Flash, who follows with a back suplex and then starts to scale the ropes again when Chyna distracts him. HHH takes advantage this time with a Pedigree, and that's all she wrote.
Result: HHH via pinfall
Hunter and Chyna get some more shots in after the bell until a gaggle of officials break things up.
Backstage, we see Shawn Michaels arriving at the arena as we head to commercial break.
Before the next match, we see a bizarre scene from a political press conference, when then-New Jersey Governor Christine Todd Whitman had apparently signed a bill that formally deregulated wrestling as a sport, which I guess eliminated a tax that had been being levied for televising wrestling in that state. Of all the weird options they could have for a wrestler appearing at this…The Undertaker was in attendance.
Mini Vader & Mini Mankind vs. Mini Goldust & Mascarita Sagrada Jr: Well this is random. Vader attacks Goldust early, taking the fight to him with some power moves. Goldust throws a couple of armdrags and a dropkick. Mankind enters without a tag; Goldust tags Sagrada in. Flying headscissor by Sagrada and then a couple of armdrags, the second sending Mankind sprawling. He's proud of himself over this, but Vader comes in with a blindside. He knocks Sagrada out, Goldust is in, and we see a somersault sentan from the apron to the floor. These guys might mimic characters, but they don't mimic their offensive arsenals.
On the inside, Sagrada wraps up Mankind in a victory roll and gets the three-count.
Result: Mini Goldust & Mascarita Sagrada Jr. via pinfall
Sagrada chases Mini Vader up the ramp, pushes him off, then does a flying cross-body off the top of the ramp to the adjacent floor, a pretty damn big fall for a mini.
Gorilla Monsoon is backstage. Vince asks him if tonight's main event is going to be a title match. Gorilla says, "Yes, I promised that this would be a title match and it's going to be a title match." Vince asks if this timing is unfair to The Undertaker, but Gorilla shrugs that off and just reiterates that tonight's match is a title match. What in the actual **** was the point of teasing that it might not be? Bizarre.
After a commercial, here is Bret Hart for an interview with Kevin Kelly. He says that he doesn't care what anyone thinks about this title match tonight. Says he won the Royal Rumble, that he won the Final Four, and that he deserves a little respect around here. Quite a bit of booing from the crowd. Bret says that he's going to win tonight and change the face of WrestleMania, and will give The Undertaker his title shot soon enough. He turns his attention to Steve Austin, vowing that Austin won't be able to scream his submission loudly enough at Mania. He closes out his promo, getting a very mixed response from the people in attendance.
After a break, here is, unfortunately, our Intercontinental Champion, Rocky Maivia. He's here to do commentary for The Sultan's squash match.
The Sultan (w/ The Iron Sheik & Bob Backlund) vs. Mike Bell: Sultan brings the violent attack, hitting a strong-looking piledriver, a top-rope splash, and he quickly wraps him up in the camel clutch to end it, practically before it started. Was a really well-done squash…I never remembered Sultan looking even remotely interesting at any other time, but this one little squash was nice.
Result: The Sultan via submission
Sultan confronts Rocky outside the ring. Tony Atlas jumps the guardrail to hold Rocky back and calm things down. Things don't end up coming to blows.
We're onto hour #2, with the opening graphics playing again. It's a little weird to play the opening graphics for a second time at the halfway mark; I realize that they branded the hours differently, but I'm pretty sure the show was in TV Guide as one two-hour block and not actual separate shows.
It's time for Shawn Michaels, as he comes out and joins Vince McMahon for an interview. Shawn thanks the fans for all the cards and support, etc., thanks them for being patient with "the world's most emotional wrestler." Says nobody but his parents and Vince McMahon know how difficult he is to deal with, but was very grateful to hear how many people cared. Vince asks for the update on the knee. HBK says the knee is coming along, is going to have an appointment with Dr. Andrews soon, but hopes he'll be back in a couple of months. In a jokey tone, he goes on to say that he has a bone to pick…not with the fans, but with Vince. He wonders why Vince hasn't invited him to WrestleMania. He says he's just going to invite himself, and is going to come sit next to Vince during the WWF Title match. This segment is incredibly obnoxious…it's a bunch of Shawn acting all cutesy, not being at all entertaining, and Vince reacting like a giddy schoolgirl. Shawn says he'll be at the Slammys as well, and with that, we are mercifully released from this segment.
Backstage, Undertaker slams part of the steel cage down. He's not happy about Bret Hart getting this title shot tonight.
Vader (w/ Mankind & Paul Bearer) vs. The British Bulldog (w/ Owen Hart): The two lock up to a stalemate to start. While Davey is surely intended as the functional babyface of this match, this crowd doesn't give him any real positive reaction; it's just negativity for both guys. Vader hammers him down in the corner, knocks him down a few times in the middle of the ring, but Bulldog no-sells a couple of short clotheslines. Vader no-sells two shoulderblocks, but a diving clothesline knocks the big man down, then another running clothesline does the same. ****ing delayed suplex on Vader. Seriously? It's one thing to suplex Vader…he can pretty much help any reasonably strong person do that by launching himself off the mat. But holding him vertical for multiple seconds like that is awfully impressive, even if Vader was doing what he could to make it easier.
Bulldog follows the suplex with an over-the-top-rope clothesline, and we go to commercial. Back from break, Vader has retaken the advantage, and hits a splash off the second rope. Two-count. Davey tries a sunset flip, Vader blocks and sits down, but lands on his tailbone when the Bulldog moves. Bulldog attempts a crucifix pinning combo, but Vader holds his feet and then converts it into a Samoan drop. The big man follows with a splash that gets two, then continues to assert his physical dominance until doing that spot where he climbs to the second rope and blatantly jumps into a powerslam. We get another show of strength a moment later, when Vader executes a corner whip, attempts a cross-body in the corner, and Bulldog catches him and slams him. Bulldog sets up for the running powerslam, and as Vader is over his shoulder, Mankind runs interference to cause the DQ.
Result: British Bulldog via DQ
As Bulldog is down, Vader and Mankind go to double-team Owen Hart. Bulldog knocks Paul Bearer off the apron, gets the urn, and uses it to clear out both of Bearer's men to save Owen. The champions hold the ring to some sort of modestly-positive crowd reception.
Ken Shamrock strolls down to sit in on commentary for the next match.
Billy Gunn vs. Aaron Ferguson: Ferguson is a local jobber, and not one I remember at all. Not really sure why they decided to fill these minutes with a Billy Gunn squash match. Gunn keeps jawing at Ken Shamrock at ringside, keeps trying to use submission moves, and then makes the jobber tap with an armbar.
Result: Billy Gunn via submission
Billy gets in Shamrock's face at ringside and challenges him to get in the ring. Shamrock says that he's not going to back down from a challenge, and he drops his headset. Shamrock goes in, locks in an armbar, and has Billy tapping in desperation. Shamrock voluntarily releases, then Billy acts like it was a fluke and tries to challenge Shamrock again. This time he locks Billy into an ankle lock in a few seconds.
Billy appears to smarten up and wash his hands of the situation, but then goes and gets a steel chair from ringside. The official stands in his way, gets the chair out of his hands, and Billy finally tucks tail and leaves, but shouts at Shamrock, "This ain't over." I have zero recollection of this segment, or of them ever facing off, so I'm not sure that it actually ain't over.
They go to Steve Austin backstage. Austin isn't impressed with Ken Shamrock. Says "Billy Gunn just got done with a grueling match, and then Shamrock went in and tried to take advantage of him." Vince asks why Austin is here tonight. Austin doesn't really answer, says that he's the King of the Ring and nobody can tell him that he can't be here. He says "by hook or by crook, Bret Hart will be the champion after tonight, and it will all be on the line at WrestleMania."
The cage is being constructed around the ring. Time for a backstage promo from Sid, who threatens Austin to keep his ass out of tonight's match.
Alright, we're ready to go with the main event.
WWF Title Steel Cage Match - Sid (c) vs. Bret Hart: Cage escape, over the top or through the door, is our win condition here. This, again, is a match where neither guy is getting a particularly positive reaction, though Bret seems to have the better crowd share. The two men lock up, wrestle into the corner, Bret hammers away with punches and kicks and then chokes at Sid with his boot. Sid fires back with those awful-looking punches, and we see Steve Austin watching on from backstage. Bret with a snapmare and an elbow drop. He tries to climb out of the cage, but it proves too early; Sid is easily able to get up in time to reach up and pull him down.
Sid picks Bret up and rams him into the cage multiple times. He drops him and starts his own climb out, but stalls like an idiot and allows Bret the recovery time needed to catch up and block him. They battle back and forth while standing on the upper runs of the cage, Sid eventually knocking Bret to the top turnbuckle, but as Sid drops back to the mat, Bret capitalizes with a diving clothesline. Again Bret tries to climb out, and again he doesn't have a prayer; Sid knocks him back to the mat. Sid actually appears to have a chance to escape through the door, but here comes Steve Austin to slam the door before Sid can get to it. Sid looks furious as the match goes to break.
After commercial, Bret is working Sid over again in the corner. Sid reverses a corner whip, and as Bret staggers out of the corner, Sid capitalizes with the powerbomb. Sid goes to climb out, but Austin climbs up to greet him and prevent the escape.
Sid and Stone Cold continue battling until Bret Hart recovers and joins in, actually temporarily double-teaming Sid along with Austin. Undertaker comes charging out, also in aid of his opponent in six days. All four fighting at the top of the cage. Taker eventually knocks Austin down to the floor. Bret superplexes Sid off the top of the cage. Undertaker drops down to the floor, where Austin waffles him with a steel chair. Back in the ring, Sid has actually gotten up before Bret after the superplex, and he attempts to climb out over the top. Bret heads over to try to escape through the door, and then awkwardly has to delay when he easily could have just won right there, as Undertaker is slow to his spot. Eventually Taker comes over and slams the cage door in Bret's face. As this happens, Sid completes his escape and reaches the floor to retain the WWF Title.
Result: Sid via over-the-top cage escape
Bret is sulking around the ring despondent as the show goes to commercial.
After the break, Vince McMahon goes into the ring to grab a word, saying, "Bret Hart, you must be extremely frustrated over what has just happened." Bret shoves Vince down and grabs the mic, then launches into a rant that, shockingly at the time, did not get censored at all on the live broadcast (nor is it censored on the WWE Network).
Quote:
Frustrated isn't the goddamn word for it! THIS IS BULL****! You screwed me, everybody screws me, nobody does a goddamn thing about it! Nobody in the building cares, nobody in the dressing room cares! So much goddamn injustice around here! I've had it up to here! Everybody knows it, I know it, everybody knows it, I should be the World Wrestling Federation Champion! Everybody just keeps turning a blind eye, YOU keep turning a blind eye to it <points at Vince>, I've got that Gorilla Monsoon, he keeps turning a blind eye to it! Everybody in that goddamn dressing room knows that I'm the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. <crowd booing> And if you don't like it, tough ****!
Steve Austin shows up on the Titantron and yells at Bret that all he ever does is cry. Says that he came out and tried to help, "but you threw it all away, because you're a loser!" Austin is pissed that their match on Sunday isn't going to be for the WWF Title. Bret starts firing back at Austin that he's scared to come out here. As Bret is continuing to rant, Sid returns to the ring and is going to start fighting again. Before they re-engage, here comes Undertaker, and Bret launches out of the ring with a suicide dive at him. Steve Austin runs out and attacks, and the two pairings of Bret/Austin and Taker/Sid begin brawling with each other.
Vince gets back on the announce mic and talks about what a shame it is that Bret has devolved into this whining and crying that defines him today. An official and Pat Patterson try to haul Bret off, and Bret gets loose and punches Patterson to the ground. Vince is furious, "HE JUST HIT HALL OF FAMER PAT PATTERSON! THAT DIRTY ROTTEN SON OF A --" He doesn't complete the sentence, but Austin catches back up to Bret and their brawl continues. Shawn Michaels appears at the top of the ramp, slowly walking toward the mayhem. He sort of just walks around both pairs of brawls, then goes and gets a steel chair, but that doesn't amount to anything. Bret and Austin brawl up the ramp, and the show signs off.
Overall: An entertaining episode on the whole, and a really compelling end sequence that, again, was very stunning when it happened given the lack of censorship as it went over the air. That last segment is one of those historic and memorable segments that you don't forget if you were watching when it happened. The gradual descent of the Bret Hart character is just such great storytelling, especially given the way it often mirrored reality.
10-15-2016
, 04:15 PM
10-15-2016
, 08:43 PM
10-15-2016
, 09:12 PM
10-15-2016
, 11:37 PM