One night I was playing in a 2/5 home game that happened to be in a closed bar. There's a huge pot between an old korean war vet vs. the owner of the bar. The owner of the bar moves all-in on the turn for about 1000 and the Korean Vet calls him off with a pair of 2's basically drawing dead to a duece, yes he is this bad at times. Long story short the duece spikes on the river and the owner goes nuts. He's up out of his seat looking for something to break because of his bad luck.


The war vet says to the owner that he just sucked out on "While you're up can you grab me a beer?"

very good

All night long, we've been playing hi-lo split pot games, and my friend Matt, who is SLAG (the kind of guy who will raise and draw four in Badugi) has been saying: "Just once, I'd like to scoop Boyko. Just once." To be fair, we have been splitting a lot of pots.

Until we're playing Razz/Dugi, and he shows down an 864 Razz and a 6 badugi, vs. my 865 Razz & 8 badugi, and he says: "I finally did it. I finally scooped Boyko."

Borrowing one of my favorite movie lines, I reply:

"Yes, yes you did. But you have to remember, the day you scooped Boyko was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Monday."

Long time lurker but had to post this needle from a tournament last night. Two guys to my left, even stacked, get it all in on the flop. Set vs Overpair and overpair stands up and says "guess I can go to my party then". The river gives him the bigger set and knocks the other player out. Guy scoops, turns to loser; "Fancy going to a party?"

This isn't exactly a needle... but, falls in line with a lot of these.

Asian guy mid-late twenties with a sweater (asian gf/wife) says something along the lines of "Those aren't your chips until you go home with them."

I insta-reply "and that's not your GF until you go home with her."

Table fist bumps me.

A reg at my local always self-appoints himself as table captain, does the old "showdown staredown" before flipping cards, smartmouths other players, berates the fish and all that usual crap. The thing is he almost always loses in the end. A couple of weeks ago, I've been biting my tongue for a few hours, trying not to show that he is winding me up with all this ****. Eventually though, he finally loses the last of his chips, and gets up complaining as usual of bad luck against bad players. I break, and as he goes I tell him..

"The only chips you EVER leave with are the ones on your shoulders".

cripple creek?

This guy busted out of the bounty tournament and went to cash games. I make casual conversation saying no luck in the tourney? He says no then some other player asks if he at least got a bounty or two and he says no again. I then say well at least you got to give one out.

This other time someone asked me what the purpose of the straddle bet is so I said it makes you a better player.

Both are meh but whatever just adding to the thread.

Was the guy of Korean descent who was once a soldier or somebody who fought in the Korean War? I don't have a proper mental image of this story.

So we are playing at the $2/ $5 in Venetian. I'm in 5 and player in 1 is "table captain." He has a built up stack +- $1200. After a couple hours, my stack almost matches hit. Under the gun I fire it up with 7 4 and get three callers. Get to the Cap, and he 3 bets. I call and the others fold. Flop the dream 5 6 2. Knowing he is huge, I check and he makes a small bet (KK or QQ in my mind). Turn the 4 of course, and check raise him, and he shoves. Of course has has a big pair he has to look at 25 times before he mucks. When the stacks are counted down, he has $12 left. He looks at me and says, "I've turned $12 into $12,00, can you even imagine that?" My reply was "no, but I am damn sure you can turn $12,00 into $12 really easy." He takes his $12 right to the cage and it's 3 or 4 hands before anyone at the table can keep a straight face.

if this isn't the worst post in the history of 2+2, I'd be surprised.

Last I heard, and I'm no expert , a pair of kings is better than a pair of 4s.

also, was he saying $12 to $1200 or $12,000?

Don't know if this quite qualifies but whatever...

Playing 1/2nl have about 800 villain(nerdy, smelly canadian dude)has about the same. I'm utg with kk and limp in. Folds around to villain in an who raises to 25 I smooth call. Flop comes Q62. He fires out 150 like mad man. Dude was really tight so I had him on AA or QQ. Was getting ready to muck when I decide to ask him if he'd show me a card. He stands up and yells "one card? How about I show you two!" and slams KK on the table. I wait like 2 seconds before announcing All in. Dude sits down and says "are you f****** serious?" everyone at the table is like wtf is going on he must have a set. Villain tanks a couple min and asks if he's beat. I told him "I swear to god your not ahead right now" and mucks.

I smack over my kk and this guy loses it. He starts punching himself in the head and slamming his head into the table it was great. He keeps his head rested on table till his turn to act next hand. Dealer tells him it's his turn and he replies " hold on a sec I'm tilting here" and about ten seconds later pushes the rest if his stack(about 650 I believe) all in blind. Gets insta called by someone with AA and goes bust. He just stood up from the table and left.

He more less needled himself but it was my favorite poker story.

this is awesome.