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Deldar182 04-13-2010 02:48 AM

DELDAR182
 
Hello friends,
For those who don't know me, and I assume most of you do know at least something about me, I am currently a semi-washed up high stakes player.

"Get to the point!" you cry, so ok, basically I've come here because I've reached a point in my life where I'm not really sure what I want to do with myself over the next however long, and I thought I might be able to find some advice here. For those still reading, here's a (longish) background with most relevant information.

I did very well in earlier school, relying on my natural giftedness for learning. As time went by most of the smart kids got ahead of me, because I'm incredibly lazy, and was unmotivated. I put in minimal effort in high school and got what I deserved I guess, a 75 ENTER score (I don't know how to translate this to a GPA, maybe someone can help- It's a fairly average score which can get you into most basic courses and not much more).

Part of my disinterest in high school was the fact that I didn't really have any idea what i was gonna do with myself when it was over, so when I finished final year I basically put myself into a uni course that I might have a vague interest in because I couldn't get into a bunch of courses that were more appealing to me. In particular advertising was one that caught my eye. I can't remember what the course I did was exactly, but it was one of the mainstream Information Technology courses. This was a bit over two years ago, I'm now twenty (missing vegas btw).

By the time university had started I had just started playing poker on the live 50c/1$ tables, and was running up my pocket money entirely behind my parents backs. I somehow managed to attend every class of uni for the first two weeks as I was determined to at least give it a go, but 3 weeks in or so I'd made 10k playing poker and I was bored as hell in uni anyway, so I stopped turning up. A month later or so I discontinued the course to play poker full time. The plan was to give myself some time to mature and perhaps come back more motivated towards the general idea of schooling.

I picked up online poker incredibly quickly, akin to the way I picked up scrabble, and started having overwhelming success in the games. Due to this I put the whole schooling idea on hold. Since then I've made more than enough money to set me up for life financially, and shortly after lost maybe over one quarter back due to stupid decisions. This has put a big dent in my confidence and potential for a comeback of sorts, and I'm sort of wondering if I really want to keep playing poker anymore. I currently hate NL, and don't know if I'm driven enough to find out how to win at it anymore. It is hard to judge though, given my current mental state; I am very depressed. On the other hand, I do enjoy learning new games, for instance I've enjoyed learning PLO even though I've had my ass handed to me day in day (a major cause of my depression).

I feel as if I have the potential to make 1m+ a year fairly easily if I really got my **** together, but at the same time I'm debating with myself if thats ever really going to happen. I don't think I'd be keen on playing poker if it was to make under 1m a year- it just doesn't excite or interest me enough to keep me going without the huge luckbox paycheck. As an important aside I should note I will most likely receive a largish inheritance which will be enough to support me without working, but it may be necessary for me to watch over it.

I've spent the last two years travelling from place to place, grinding and ****ing about in general, so basically I'm wondering if I should try some sort of schooling option. Honestly I know next to nothing as far as schooling goes, and I've never really worked a day in my life, so I thought this would be as good a place as any to ask for opinions and options on moving from a rather carefree lifestyle to what is a bit of a different world. My general laziness and lack of discipline lead me to think I would have a very hard time conforming to most traditional university courses, and I also think I'd have a lot of trouble converting to a relatively inflexible timetable. Furthermore, I still have a mind-numbing addiction to poker which I think would prove difficult to shake.

I imagine I'd be fairly uninterested in doing a course at home, because I think the universities here lack the perhaps, "exuberant" atmosphere that the American (and elsewhere I'm guessing) ones boast. I think this could be a major contributor to why I disliked the course I undertook here- it was similar to high school in that I didn't really make any new friends, and just drove there and back every day. A lot of it had to do with the fact that I had no interest in the subject though.

As far as courses go, I'd probably describe my main interests as subjects covered by psychology, philosophy, journalism, music very broadly speaking; these are the few that immediately come to mind. Despite being mostly oriented towards humanities, I think I could also attempt a sort of managerial-businessy-idontknowthenameofthesethings course, in an attempt to help run the family business (we basically just own properties and collect rent, but there seems to be a fair bit of work involved). Other than these vague ideas I've provided, I don't really have a f clue of what I'm looking for.

I suppose this could be interpreted as more of a soul-searching diary entry type thing than a question, and maybe it is, but I'm really hoping I can get some helpful feedback, particularly from (but not limited to) people who have gone from poker to schooling or other paths. I really feel like I don't know what to do with myself, and sorta feel that something is missing from my life. I'll also answer any questions about anything in exchange for your esteemed advice, as long as they're appropriate and dont start with hero is dealt... :)

Anyway, sorry that this got overlong/messy, my english skills aren't the best...

Cliffs
-Lazy and indisciplined boy from rich family who has never really worked before, did pretty average in school
-Boy gets rich playing poker, loses a bunch back. Depression and soulsearching ensue.
-Reconsiders options other than poker, doesn't really know what they are and if they are worth pursuing.
-As a last chance desperation tactic he reaches out to the degenerate groupthink that is two plus two!

:heart::heart:

tommyhawkers 04-13-2010 02:52 AM

Re: DELDAR182
 
Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a ****. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And, of course, the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and ****in' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the ****in' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin', 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure **** it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.

waow 04-13-2010 03:03 AM

Re: DELDAR182
 
deldar how come you never posted/contributed to 2p2 before this just curious

galen 04-13-2010 03:11 AM

Re: DELDAR182
 
quit poker for sure

Its almost impossible to make as much as you were making about ayear ago, in the current state of the games. It is even more frustrating and the fullfillment you get will be less and less.

If you keep playing poker you will either:
Be unsuccesfull: this will really **** you up and make you crazy. Even if you make ''good'' money making less than you expect/want willallways be depressing.
,
Be succesfull:Say you double your money in the next 2-3 years. How much will this improve your life? Probably not much. You will feel some sense of achievement but the playingprocess will still be draining.

If you quit poker you can develop your many talents which you probably havent done the last few years. Learn some new skills, go backpacking. Go find out what makes you happy. I bet these things will do way more for you than playing poker and making money.

You are probably someone who cant combine playing poker with something else because poker will just be in your head way too much. Almost every very good poker player is like that. So you should either not play at all or go for it. At least think it through. Dont keep playing just because its what you used to and its so easy to just turn on your computer every morning and play.

Good luck with your decision

spaghetti 04-13-2010 03:29 AM

Re: DELDAR182
 
If I was you I would take a big ass holiday and travel to a lot of places, that should clear the mind and get you thinking more about what you want to do in the future..

cliffnotes on your scrabble career?

Deldar182 04-13-2010 03:30 AM

Re: DELDAR182
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by waow (Post 18160148)
deldar how come you never posted/contributed to 2p2 before this just curious

Near the beginnging of my career I came to 2p2 to post about strategy and then I realised it wasn't really the place. After that I just never really bothered I guess, no real reason =/

s00tedj0kers 04-13-2010 03:32 AM

Re: DELDAR182
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by tommyhawkers (Post 18160005)
Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a ****. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And, of course, the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and ****in' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the ****in' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin', 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure **** it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.

how do you like them apples?

HT-Max 04-13-2010 03:38 AM

Re: DELDAR182
 
in before scrabble

mrTEA 04-13-2010 03:39 AM

Re: DELDAR182
 
Before you do anything else I'd definitely take a break. Not too many things worse for your game than playing depressed and feeling compelled to make it back.

Ansky 04-13-2010 03:53 AM

Re: DELDAR182
 
Yeah I don't really see why you need poker, I'd pack all my stuff into a backpack and go wandering around the world if I were you.

lwrunner103 04-13-2010 04:04 AM

Re: DELDAR182
 
Good friends will help said depression problem. Other than that, you'll never know how a cerTain path is going to be until you are on it. There is just no way to know these things without triAl and error. Also don't feel pressured to make back your losses in a certAin game or in general.

jungleman 04-13-2010 04:15 AM

Re: DELDAR182
 
school requires much more discipline than poker, at least in terms of work ethic (not so much emotionally)

also, go out and get a PARTYBUS. PARTYBUS=WIN

joeri 04-13-2010 04:16 AM

Re: DELDAR182
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ansky (Post 18160651)
Yeah I don't really see why you need poker, I'd pack all my stuff into a backpack and go wandering around the world if I were you.

Jeah, I think you should be playing poker only ass a hobby and a side job. If it makes you depressed, you should not be playing professionally atm. I also think this is not yet the right moment to start school. Going in unmotivated, depressed and lazy will not make you happy. I would advise Ansky's advise.

Book a ticket to Europe or Aussi. Take only 10-20k with you and just backpack the world. Don't take more money, because you will meet a lot more interesting people if you go to the normal places, instead of a fancy hotel each day. I think seeing a little bit more of the world will be inspiring for you and will get your thoughts straight.

Deldar182 04-13-2010 04:30 AM

Re: DELDAR182
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by spaghetti (Post 18160423)
If I was you I would take a big ass holiday and travel to a lot of places, that should clear the mind and get you thinking more about what you want to do in the future..

cliffnotes on your scrabble career?

hmm, alright

By 13 (I think? can't believe how long ago this was) it was apparent that I was relatively interested in words and stuff (I liked crosswords, reading, word finds, all that sort of crap), and one of my family friends attended a scrabble club, so I decided to go.

From there something very similar to my poker career developed- I devoted an incredible amount of time to an enveloping addiction, and became extremely good at it in an incredibly small amount of time, especially after finding the game didn't have that much to do with words anyway, oddly enough. I think I cracked the top 5 in the country in half a year or less. I've won a bunch of titles along the way, but had an intense desire to be the best... This is where the similarity in poker changes I guess, I kind of gave up on being the best in poker, despite that being my original intent.

I'm not entirely sure why this is, maybe it's because it seems a lot more managable, but it's probably because I enjoy scrabble much more. I find the game has a lot more depth, at least depth that appeals to me- seven years playing and I still don't fully understand exactly what the dude on top is doing that makes him so good. Also, to dispel a common misconception the game really does not have much to do with linguistics- there is a LOT more to it than words; a lot of people who don't have a strong grasp of english play it at world class level for example.

Since the start I have played three world championships, and won a bunch of major tournaments. I still enjoy playing and look forward to the tournaments that are at the end of each year. As well as this, being with people who don't really know anything about poker is a real breath of fresh air.

As a sidenote I should point out I'm pretty sure my deftness in this game assisted my speedy rise to the top in poker- I assume it's because some of the games fundamental mechanics are similar.

Deldar182 04-13-2010 04:35 AM

Re: DELDAR182
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by joeri (Post 18160876)
Jeah, I think you should be playing poker only ass a hobby and a side job. If it makes you depressed, you should not be playing professionally atm. I also think this is not yet the right moment to start school. Going in unmotivated, depressed and lazy will not make you happy. I would advise Ansky's advise.

Book a ticket to Europe or Aussi. Take only 10-20k with you and just backpack the world. Don't take more money, because you will meet a lot more interesting people if you go to the normal places, instead of a fancy hotel each day. I think seeing a little bit more of the world will be inspiring for you and will get your thoughts straight.

I am Australian- but thanks for the advice.

I'm also not sure if I exaggerated the depression issue or not. I AM unhappy mainly because of my recent results in poker, and a bit generally speaking, but for the most part, am contented with how I live. Not to say this can't be improved upon, but I'm not on the verge of suicide or anything lol

Having a bit of trouble describing where I'm at mentally as you guys can see :(


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