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Old 12-17-2013, 12:46 AM   #1
thatgirl416
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Women vs. Women

In an industry that is clearly dominated by men, the rarity of a female sighting on the table brings over a cloud of emotion for me. Something I want to discuss in length because there is a lot to talk about. I find that 2+2 is a great avenue for finding female players who want to take this game more seriously, while also highlighting gender differences and enlightening others on the daily struggles women tend to face.

Let’s talk about women players versus other women players (live setting). In most cases, I’m the only female sitting at the table, but when a pretty newcomer takes a seat, she is instantaneously seen as a threat. A threat I see as another able female player that knows how to use her image to her game, dimming my own ability and ‘edge’. This unfortunately calls out the ego and is now present in play.

I let this feeling sink in for a few minutes until I realize that it is unintentionally hurting my game when it can actually strengthen it. It’s a dog eat dog world out there for females and it is so easy for one to quickly turn on each other. Not just in the case of the poker world, but in any other social setting. I am all for ‘girl power’ and empowering other women players as it can be a really lonely career choice, so I quickly change my tune and become proud that another female is strong and present at my table.

I can’t say, however, that I have received the same treatment. I have, first hand, been a ‘victim’ to the ugly gossip and my game was threatened by it. Being a single girl that travels to play is daunting in its own right, but when there are hear-sayers (particularly coming from other women) spreading grotesque rumors about you, it is tough. It is unnecessary and hurtful. I am thankful for my friends and other poker players who I’ve become closer with to help assure that this issue is petty and to just let it roll over - because it will. And it has.

I just want to bring some attention to this issue to my fellow female poker players, that in order for a stronger female presence in this industry, we should help motivate each other because there is that clear mutual understanding of how hard it can be.

What are your thoughts? Have you been victimized? Have you felt threatened? How did you deal with any of it?
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Old 02-11-2014, 07:37 PM   #2
thegroupie
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Re: Women vs. Women

??

The OP was about feeling threatened and competitive with other women, not a "strong man." There wasn't anything about that in her post, nor was there anything about feeling persecuted by men.

Women generally love it when people make obnoxious and condescending generalizations about them though. Especially when they make no sense, and are followed up with a "Just Saying!"

Welcome to the forum and thanks for all of your effort in trying not to be a troll!

Last edited by venice10; 02-13-2014 at 09:12 PM. Reason: He failed and the post is deleted.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:21 AM   #3
annaclara
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Re: Women vs. Women

women vs women is actually an earth quake
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Old 07-23-2014, 08:33 PM   #4
Queen of No
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Re: Women vs. Women

Quote:
Originally Posted by thatgirl416 View Post
In most cases, I’m the only female sitting at the table, but when a pretty newcomer takes a seat, she is instantaneously seen as a threat. A threat I see as another able female player that knows how to use her image to her game, dimming my own ability and ‘edge’. This unfortunately calls out the ego and is now present in play.
What do a new player's looks have to do with your 'edge" -- unless you're relying on looks as your "edge"?

I find it annoying when women in any "industry" that isn't naturally appearance based (as would be the case in fashion, acting, entertainment, or related fields) attempt to devalue the industry/profession into a beauty/booty contest. And no, before you jump to any conclusions, it's not that I can't or haven't "held my own" in such arenas. Poker is a strategy game -- and if someone is going to take their capacity for strategy out of their head and append it to their chest -- then good luck to them.

Meanwhile, ANY new player at the table is a new "threat" -- one you should be assessing based upon their displayed skill level -- not their display of skin. You have to start seeing past the "acts" (acts that are no different than the toothpick chewing flat-brimmer who thinks that stretching out and leaning back like he's trying to drive a fancy rimmed Toyota Corolla establishes his dominance at the table) and focus on what the other players are actually doing.

That being said I did get very annoyed the other night after being moved to a table where there were 4 other women playing -- they were all obviously friends, and drunk, and would do things like show each other their cards during a hand while dropping margarita salt all over the felt. I took a deep breath, got the dealer to clamp down on the hand sharing, and by figuring out the most aggressive player's game, I was able to double my stack before the table broke.
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Old 05-23-2015, 01:42 PM   #5
QueenOfSpades
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Re: Women vs. Women

I realize this thread has been inactive for quite some time, but I just discovered it, and thought I'd chime in with an example of my own experiences.

I've had more than a few occasions where I am playing and doing fine/good/great at a table full of men, and then a pretty/beautiful/very cute female player gets moved to my table, and there is an undeniable change in the energy around the table. There have been a few occasions where I find myself being irritated by this, I suppose because what was (until then) a game being played on an even playing field just turned into a tiresome reality of women being valued for their looks instead of their ability. However, instead of going on tilt, I have gotten to a place where I just acknowledge it, move past it, and continue to be a female poker player that is respected by many of my fellow players because I take the game seriously and I can hold my own.

I never consider the pretty/beautiful/very cute female player as my enemy; she is a competitor like all other players at the table.
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Old 07-07-2015, 02:23 PM   #6
Rock_Wild
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Re: Women vs. Women

Just found this thread...

I've found that women seem to want to "attack" each other, especially when heads-up in cash games. Like they need to show the other woman they are dominant or something like that.

I admit to once playing something like that. But now look at everyone at the table equally. They're opponents and I want their chips. ;-)

Something else I've noticed. When two women are playing heads-up the men stop their conversations or looking at their phones to follow the action.
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Old 02-04-2016, 04:47 AM   #7
Loveheart
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Re: Women vs. Women

Quote:
Originally Posted by thatgirl416 View Post
In an industry that is clearly dominated by men, the rarity of a female sighting on the table brings over a cloud of emotion for me. Something I want to discuss in length because there is a lot to talk about. I find that 2+2 is a great avenue for finding female players who want to take this game more seriously, while also highlighting gender differences and enlightening others on the daily struggles women tend to face.

Let’s talk about women players versus other women players (live setting). In most cases, I’m the only female sitting at the table, but when a pretty newcomer takes a seat, she is instantaneously seen as a threat. A threat I see as another able female player that knows how to use her image to her game, dimming my own ability and ‘edge’. This unfortunately calls out the ego and is now present in play.

I let this feeling sink in for a few minutes until I realize that it is unintentionally hurting my game when it can actually strengthen it. It’s a dog eat dog world out there for females and it is so easy for one to quickly turn on each other. Not just in the case of the poker world, but in any other social setting. I am all for ‘girl power’ and empowering other women players as it can be a really lonely career choice, so I quickly change my tune and become proud that another female is strong and present at my table.

I can’t say, however, that I have received the same treatment. I have, first hand, been a ‘victim’ to the ugly gossip and my game was threatened by it. Being a single girl that travels to play is daunting in its own right, but when there are hear-sayers (particularly coming from other women) spreading grotesque rumors about you, it is tough. It is unnecessary and hurtful. I am thankful for my friends and other poker players who I’ve become closer with to help assure that this issue is petty and to just let it roll over - because it will. And it has.

I just want to bring some attention to this issue to my fellow female poker players, that in order for a stronger female presence in this industry, we should help motivate each other because there is that clear mutual understanding of how hard it can be.

What are your thoughts? Have you been victimized? Have you felt threatened? How did you deal with any of it?
I can say just one thing about women in poker - the are much more crafty and tricky than man. Also, they are more sensitive for understanding the human emotions. Thay can also pretend in the best way, so when we are talking about the logic - men are smarter, but when it goes about the feelings - women no equal..=)
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Old 02-05-2016, 03:48 AM   #8
Hardball47
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Re: Women vs. Women

I've seen some warfare-class verbal exchanges between two, good-looking mid 20s women at the table. It's like the "lady" mask came off completely.

"Competitive" is not doing it justice. lol
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Old 02-20-2016, 03:26 PM   #9
katie75013
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Re: Women vs. Women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hardball47 View Post
I've seen some warfare-class verbal exchanges between two, good-looking mid 20s women at the table. It's like the "lady" mask came off completely.

"Competitive" is not doing it justice. lol
I have seen and experienced this too (not my instigating). I think part of it is that some ladies feel the pressure at the table of the men judging them and they want to be taken seriously, so they try to be super aggro and snippy. They don't want to be seen as weak. In my mind, I understand this, and that they may not be very experienced...so just try to be as pleasant as possible towards them and everyone at the table. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
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Old 04-18-2016, 11:22 PM   #10
MeLoveYouLongTime
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Re: Women vs. Women

[QUOTE=Loveheart;49278855]....so when we are talking about the logic - men are smarter....../QUOTE]


Lolololol

Speak for yourself
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Old 05-19-2016, 10:47 PM   #11
ALLtheWayUp
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Re: Women vs. Women

Whether the other woman at the table is hot or not I irrelevant. I take another woman at my table as seriously as any other new player that sits down.....
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Old 05-27-2016, 09:55 AM   #12
MacAnRi
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Re: Women vs. Women

You mentioned your opponents looks - maybe this is the reason for the extra hostility towards her - it's the hardest thing to do but never judge someone based on their appearance(in life), (in the poker room) just check out her weakness and exploit it. Good luck
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Old 03-20-2017, 02:38 PM   #13
Ofigella
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Re: Women vs. Women

It happened to me a lot. I don't mind other female poker players because honestly they usually suck. I met 2 decent over 7 months of playing regularly on Saturdays. So a lot of the time women see me as a threat. I like to play with them but they try to start a fight over nothing or avoid me like I don't exist. I came up to my sit and i couldn't get in so I said: "could you move a little bit, guys? I can't get in. I'm sorry" to her and some other guy. She was like: "you could say "excuse me". Me: "I said I'm sorry". Like wtf? English is my second language. So she got up angrily and left for good. Over nothing. And I had these situations before. Usually when I have a big stack and they are sitting with 50bb. Probably feel threatened? There were nice among them. Would be super cool to have a female friend who plays well. I only have male poker friends and they are fish
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Old 03-20-2017, 02:41 PM   #14
Ofigella
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Re: Women vs. Women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Loveheart View Post
I can say just one thing about women in poker - the are much more crafty and tricky than man. Also, they are more sensitive for understanding the human emotions. Thay can also pretend in the best way, so when we are talking about the logic - men are smarter, but when it goes about the feelings - women no equal..=)
I can say it's not true in the matter of tilt. I don't tilt much, I just complain to my friends in whatsup app but men... those are nuts. Sitting with 200bb for 3 hours barely playing, then 1 cooler and he's ready for his all ins with A2o.
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Old Yesterday, 06:15 PM   #15
whitemares
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Re: Women vs. Women

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ofigella View Post
I can say it's not true in the matter of tilt. I don't tilt much, I just complain to my friends in whatsup app but men... those are nuts. Sitting with 200bb for 3 hours barely playing, then 1 cooler and he's ready for his all ins with A2o.
I don't think this is necessarily gender-specific. You're going to see it much more often from men because, well, you're usually going to encounter significantly more men at the poker table. I've seen women go on absolute monkey tilt before. People are people, and some people tilt pretty hard.
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