Where do you guys draw the line on questionable verbal talk at table? - Page 5 - That's What She Said! -- Two Plus Two Poker Forums

jump115 · 04-22-2012, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chairmanmyow

Last couple live sessions this has happened:

I was starting my session, got my chips and walked up to the table. The guy next to me says, "Turn around so we can see your ass." Then a couple others join in, "Yeah, turn around."
I froze but the guy who had directed me to the table fortunately said, "Table change?" and I said yes and I never sat.
I have been playing live for years, never had that happen.

So floor apologized when I cashed out that night, I said thanks.

Last night after playing for several hours (same casino), I'm a in multi-way pot and I wind up with a straight flush. Not a huge pot, but I make some money off two other flushes.

One of the guys involved says, "If the seven of diamonds comes, I totally rape you."

I could have let it go. Probably should have, but instead I said calmly, "Isn't there a better way to express that sentiment?"

He was pretty annoyed, ended up really going off on me. "Obviously stupid and uptight," were some of the things said. I argued a little and then just realized this guy was really angry and not someone I want to talk to, ever.

I'm not trying to be a victim and obviously I'm not trying to win a gender war at the poker table. But at the same time the "pussy", "fold like a little girl", and "rape you," wears on me. A poker room is not a strip club or a locker room. And as someone who has worked in the business world, these guys would get in serious trouble for saying stuff like this.

Where is the line (if any), in your opinion, for sexist behavior in the poker room?

Lol at the Rape you comment

NutsInYoEye · 04-22-2012, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhat_jane

yes. it does.

period.

end of fight.

you aren't a woman, you've never been raped, and you've never had that word said to you at a poker table. you know not of what you speak. accept it and try and learn something from this.

It's obvious you're set in your role of playing the victim. Your personal experiences prevent you from having a rational conversation.

Everything is not about you. What you went through may have been horrible. It's not fair for you to place that burden on every man you encounter though.

Almost everyone is a victim of something. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to tiptoe around every issue just because someone may be sensitive to x,y, or z.

NutsInYoEye · 04-22-2012, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katie75013

And this is where you are fundamentally wrong.
If you don't see this, I don't know what to tell you, other than to be careful with your future posts in TWSS.

There are countless men and boys that have been the victim of sexual assault.

redhat_jane · 04-22-2012, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutsInYoEye

It's obvious you're set in your role of playing the victim. Your personal experiences prevent you from having a rational conversation.

Everything is not about you. What you went through may have been horrible. It's not fair for you to place that burden on every man you encounter though.

Almost everyone is a victim of something. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to tiptoe around every issue just because someone may be sensitive to x,y, or z.

can we seriously ban this guy from posting here?

it's clear that he is not a friend of women and doesn't understand the significance of loaded language.

and for the record, not that it should matter AT ALL, but whether or not i have been raped in my lifetime is completely irrelevant and does not change the fact that the word is a loaded term that ALL women take offense to. the fact is that you NEVER KNOW who you are speaking to at a table and you have NO IDEA if they've ever lived through it. guarantee if you asked every single woman in your life if they've ever been raped/sexually assaulted or if they've known someone who has been, close to 100% of them will tell you a sad story.

saying that i'm incapable of having a rational conversation about this issue is dismissive and incorrect. i am capable of rationally telling you that you are wrong in your defense of this word and its usage toward women at a poker table (or any public space.)

**katie75013** · 04-22-2012, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutsInYoEye

It's obvious you're set in your role of playing the victim. Your personal experiences prevent you from having a rational conversation.

Everything is not about you. What you went through may have been horrible. It's not fair for you to place that burden on every man you encounter though.

Almost everyone is a victim of something. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to tiptoe around every issue just because someone may be sensitive to x,y, or z.

Part of having the privilege to post in TWSS, is understanding the way the women view things, respecting their viewpoints and having a respectful and constructive conversation. It is not to tell them that their view has no basis, or that they are incapable of rationally conversing about a pretty obviously, blatant, gender-specific, hot topic. Again, if this was NVG then it would be different, but it's not. If this were a poker-related discussion about strat or hh it would also be different. But this is a women's forum, discussing a globally-understood loaded word that has strong meaning and invokes strong emotion in women, unlike other terms of similar meaning like crushing or destroying or pillaging.

It does not seem that you are able to sympathize with or understand the views of the women in TWSS, and so without personal judgement I am politely and respectfully asking you not to post here.

Ship It Or Bust · 04-23-2012, 04:26 AM

Last weekend I was sitting next to a young guy at the table. He was busily texting back-and-forth with a (professional) girl he'd met earlier in the evening.

At one point while he was in a big hand with several players, he said out loud "Hey guys, let me win this pot. I need money to pay for some p***y later!" While he was in no way trying to offend me, I turned to look at him and say "Hey, there's a girl here!"

Instantly he was apologetic and shame-faced. He kept saying "Sorry, sorry, ohmygosh I'm so sorry!" Basically he had forgotten that a woman was right there next to him at the table. I wasn't bothered by his comment, but at the same time I wanted him to be aware of who he MAY have been offending. I can't say I've seen anything outrageous like what the OP described. But if I did, I'd try to handle it gracefully. If that didn't work, then I'd be sure to say something scathing to the guy in question and put him in his place. I don't care how big of a fish you are, rape is nothing to joke about. If you have no problems joking about rape, then I have no problems getting you thrown out of the room.

Ship It Or Bust · 04-23-2012, 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutsInYoEye

It's obvious you're set in your role of playing the victim. Your personal experiences prevent you from having a rational conversation.

Everything is not about you. What you went through may have been horrible. It's not fair for you to place that burden on every man you encounter though.

Almost everyone is a victim of something. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to tiptoe around every issue just because someone may be sensitive to x,y, or z.

I will start by saying that I've never been raped, molested, sexually attacked, etc. But I am a woman. And if I man says in any way, shape, or form, that he is going to "rape" me, that word will instantly conjure up horrifying possibilities in my mind and a sickening feeling in my stomach. And I will respond to my gut feelings of the word and the fact that it was spoken to me. It will not be pretty.

You, sir, do not understand your audience. And neither did the guy who used the word "rape" inappropriately at the table. You may be able to say that word (and the "C" word as well) freely with your frat-boy friends. But there is no gray area for usage of that word towards a woman in any context.

**SGT RJ** · 04-23-2012, 08:03 PM

You know, speaking as a woman who has actually been raped...yeah, don't say that to me, even in jest.

Does the word "flashback" mean anything to you?

Even if I know a person isn't serious, that doesn't mean I might remember in that moment, even briefly, a horrible event in my life. And really, why would you want to do that to someone, even in jest?

Also, I'm pretty sure that the percentage of women who have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime (in the US) is higher than 1/10.

**SGT RJ** · 04-26-2012, 11:21 AM

This thread being discussed elsewhere: http://www.womanpokerplayer.com/poke...ycool-imo.html

LegalizeMDMA · 10-19-2012, 03:08 AM

Wow. I'm a guy, and I'm far from a feminist but the least we as men could do is speak up and call out the guy who insults a woman like that. The more guys find it unacceptable and speak up the less stuff like this will happen. So I think the other men at the table, especially those who laughed or joined the jerk's insults - are also guilty of what happened. Call the jerk out, call the floor, whatever. It's completely unacceptable! I'm shocked this happens.

Milo013 · 10-19-2012, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chairmanmyow

Last couple live sessions this has happened:

I was starting my session, got my chips and walked up to the table. The guy next to me says, "Turn around so we can see your ass." Then a couple others join in, "Yeah, turn around."
I froze but the guy who had directed me to the table fortunately said, "Table change?" and I said yes and I never sat.
I have been playing live for years, never had that happen.

So floor apologized when I cashed out that night, I said thanks.

Last night after playing for several hours (same casino), I'm a in multi-way pot and I wind up with a straight flush. Not a huge pot, but I make some money off two other flushes.

One of the guys involved says, "If the seven of diamonds comes, I totally rape you."

I could have let it go. Probably should have, but instead I said calmly, "Isn't there a better way to express that sentiment?"

He was pretty annoyed, ended up really going off on me. "Obviously stupid and uptight," were some of the things said. I argued a little and then just realized this guy was really angry and not someone I want to talk to, ever.

I'm not trying to be a victim and obviously I'm not trying to win a gender war at the poker table. But at the same time the "pussy", "fold like a little girl", and "rape you," wears on me. A poker room is not a strip club or a locker room. And as someone who has worked in the business world, these guys would get in serious trouble for saying stuff like this.

Where is the line (if any), in your opinion, for sexist behavior in the poker room?

If I wouldn't say to my wife/Mother/daughter, it doesn't cross my lips at the table. Simple