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Old 09-14-2011, 07:23 PM   #51
Alandalf
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

I'm a guy and I would love to have a poker playing girlfriend but I would hate it if she was better than me and I know it sounds SO stupid but because poker is such a big part of my life if she was better than me I would either become obsessed in improving to get better than her or I couldn't go out with her.

Saying that I wouldn't be saying no to Liv Boeree anytime soon :P
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Old 09-17-2011, 01:08 AM   #52
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

It can work under 1 of 3 circumstances..

1.. the girl is into poker too
2.. u have a job and play poker for fun on the side or
3.. u play poker as a fulltime job and are a winning player & can actually generate legitimate income from it.

in all 3 instances i think it can only work if 1.. u dont take out ur anger and tilt on ur girl. 2.. dont blow ur girl off for important dates because u dont wanna miss out on a big tournament.. 3.. dont act like a complete wreck or addict. *i neeeeed to play i neeeed to play*
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Old 09-17-2011, 01:48 AM   #53
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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Originally Posted by coconutaces View Post
It can work under 1 of 3 circumstances..

1.. the girl is into poker too
2.. u have a job and play poker for fun on the side or
3.. u play poker as a fulltime job and are a winning player & can actually generate legitimate income from it.

in all 3 instances i think it can only work if 1.. u dont take out ur anger and tilt on ur girl. 2.. dont blow ur girl off for important dates because u dont wanna miss out on a big tournament.. 3.. dont act like a complete wreck or addict. *i neeeeed to play i neeeed to play*
I'm married and have to make those decisions all the time, and it's something my wife and I have to compromise on. Because she works full-time outside the home, I'm the one that has to be there to answer important phone calls (including any call from her mother, age 89), watch the grandkids while my son and his wife are moving, and generally do stuff during business hours that my wife can't do.

In turn, my wife has to accept that my schedule is unconventional. I am a US player who is converting to live play (I played almost exclusively online until Black Friday.) I live more than 100 miles from any casino that has poker tournaments, so I play in the local charity rooms. I have to carefully grow my small live bankroll, and pick tournaments that fit my playing style and bankroll the best until I'm playing with at least 50 BI.

The best tournaments for me are on Friday, Saturday and Sunday starting at 5 P.M. The tournaments on the other nights have rebuys and add-ons, and I'm not rolled for that.

So, I have to accept that home duties can interrupt my work, which is mostly studying and recordkeeping and just a little online play (I have to wait as long as an hour for a 30-player SNG to fill up). And my wife has to accept that we're not going to be going out on the weekend very often, at least until I have a bankroll that gives me more playing options.

So yes, I will definitely blow off a date so that I don't miss a tournament. And even though I take poker as seriously as my wife takes her job, I have to accept that I can't go into my man cave, do what I want, and play or study when I want.

In short, the poker player can't be the one to always give in. If the player's bf/gf/spouse can't accept that, it's not going to work.

Last edited by Poker Clif; 09-17-2011 at 01:54 AM. Reason: Sentency clarity. No significant content change.
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Old 09-17-2011, 02:02 AM   #54
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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Originally Posted by Poker Clif View Post
I'm married and have to make those decisions all the time, and it's something my wife and I have to compromise on. Because she works full-time outside the home, I'm the one that has to be there to answer important phone calls (including any call from her mother, age 89), watch the grandkids while my son and his wife are moving, and generally do stuff during business hours that my wife can't do.

In turn, my wife has to accept that my schedule is unconventional. I am a US player who is converting to live play (I played almost exclusively online until Black Friday.) I live more than 100 miles from any casino that has poker tournaments, so I play in the local charity rooms. I have to carefully grow my small live bankroll, and pick tournaments that fit my playing style and bankroll the best until I'm playing with at least 50 BI.

The best tournaments for me are on Friday, Saturday and Sunday starting at 5 P.M. The tournaments on the other nights have rebuys and add-ons, and I'm not rolled for that.

So, I have to accept that home duties can interrupt my work, which is mostly studying and recordkeeping and just a little online play (I have to wait as long as an hour for a 30-player SNG to fill up). And my wife has to accept that we're not going to be going out on the weekend very often, at least until I have a bankroll that gives me more playing options.

So yes, I will definitely blow off a date so that I don't miss a tournament. And even though I take poker as seriously as my wife takes her job, I have to accept that I can't go into my man cave, do what I want, and play or study when I want.

In short, the poker player can't be the one to always give in. If the player's bf/gf/spouse can't accept that, it's not going to work.

I can definitely understand that. It can be like that with any job too so it wouldnt be right for a spouse to blame it on the fact that u play 'poker'. I would get forced to work 4 hours overtime months at a time sometimes, and work weekends/my day off.. it is what it is. I guess if u have an important date, only money will pay for it. If u dont have it and poker is your 'job'.. then u gotta do what u gotta do. I think what they have to understand is you arent doing it for your own personal enjoyment.. cause lets be honest.. doing anything full time whether u like it or not still becomes a 'job' or a 'chore'.. so ur doing it for the money.. not always personal enjoyment.
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Old 09-18-2011, 12:21 PM   #55
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

one is to ask yourself this: after taking into consideration my counterparts overall view, what do my actions mean based on current field conditions and the previous play. (this is a huge deal and, if done consistently and well can positively effect every aspect in your life ) this is true in any activity concerning interpersonal relationships.

and one at which I really suck

considering this Poker Players should be excellent at relating to other interpersonal relationships. However we don't seem to translate this huge concept into other aspects of our lives

Last edited by timmer; 09-18-2011 at 12:35 PM.
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Old 09-18-2011, 05:42 PM   #56
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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Originally Posted by Alandalf View Post
I'm a guy and I would love to have a poker playing girlfriend but I would hate it if she was better than me and I know it sounds SO stupid but because poker is such a big part of my life if she was better than me I would either become obsessed in improving to get better than her or I couldn't go out with her.

Saying that I wouldn't be saying no to Liv Boeree anytime soon :P
lol, egotism ITT
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Old 09-18-2011, 10:42 PM   #57
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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Originally Posted by Alandalf
l
I bet if you told said girlfriend that she inspired you to become a better player she would immediately and vigorously lay you.
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Old 09-19-2011, 04:20 PM   #58
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

oh i wish upon a star that a beautiful lady who knows how to play cards and understands every aspect of the card life would grace my life until i am old, and graciously check raise the river while telling the truth!lol seriously sigh....
i will do the cooking after a few more hands
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Old 09-19-2011, 04:46 PM   #59
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Originally Posted by CannonLee View Post
oh i wish upon a star that a beautiful lady who knows how to play cards and understands every aspect of the card life would grace my life until i am old, and graciously check raise the river while telling the truth!lol seriously sigh....
i will do the cooking after a few more hands
Pics or gtfo
J/k but it might help
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Old 09-21-2011, 10:51 AM   #60
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

hi , guy , who can tell me where can i find the fstrategy of fifty 50 sng .ty
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Old 09-21-2011, 11:03 AM   #61
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

This is the wrong forum for that, try the beginners questions thread, and/or use the search function that might help you.
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Old 09-21-2011, 02:45 PM   #62
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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Pics or gtfo
J/k but it might help
LOL this might help too...............http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/76...cards-1101741/
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Old 09-28-2011, 07:27 PM   #63
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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Originally Posted by katie75013 View Post
This is actually a topic that came up in discussion with a friend of mine.
Are guys able to "handle" their gf/wife playing poker professionally and what if she is better than him? One of my friends did tell me that he thought he wouldn't be able to handle having a gf who was better than him in poker. I just started laughing...not really believing how this could be possible. I mean, aren't guys attracted to smart women? The long-term successful pros have some level of intelligence, so why or how could they not require this in a partner?
Well, if you played online games (like counter-strike or world of warcraft) successfully you will sooner or later be the victim of a hater. Poker and onlinegames have been dominated by men, and i think the male ego, somtimes can't handle a woman with skill. Sadly enough.
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Old 10-01-2011, 12:18 AM   #64
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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Originally Posted by Paganscum View Post
Well, if you played online games (like counter-strike or world of warcraft) successfully you will sooner or later be the victim of a hater. Poker and onlinegames have been dominated by men, and i think the male ego, somtimes can't handle a woman with skill. Sadly enough.
all ego aside Handling a woman with skill takes practice
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Old 10-05-2011, 03:09 PM   #65
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

I am very fortunate that my BF accepts my poker playing while I have shown him how to play to understand it. I always thought dating someone who was a poker player was the way to go and that is not true for me. It works for others but it isn't for me. All that counts is we accept each other for who we are and make each other the best human being possible. I am so grateful for him in my life and I know he feels the same about me.
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Old 10-05-2011, 11:41 PM   #66
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

From what I've seen of poker playing couples, I am not impressed. The ones at the tables at the casino are nasty, the live grinders that is...it's weird and they seem...fishy.

That said, my gf is very intelligent and has played poker before live, once online, and enjoys when we do play. However, she hates talking about strategy/hands but will listen to my crazy rants. I really enjoy teaching her aspects of the game, but she never wants to hear them out except for once in a blue moon. (on our way to my cabin I ranted for an hour about why I'd rather have 45s than AJ in position facing a tight players raise).

I love her to death, but hypothetically if I were single, I wouldnt mind dating a poker player except for they seem to have big egos and are argumentative which could either be great or detrimental so I think ultimately it depends on the people and on their love for eachother.
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Old 10-12-2011, 05:07 AM   #67
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

Wow 5 pages and no real bad story, I thought this thread would be full of that! Well I guess I'll the first one then.

Short story: I lost my girlfriend to poker.

Long story: I was in a relationship with an attractive, intelligent and creative german girl who worked in TV and films. We travelled the world, drank champagne and gave each other massages. But she hated poker and gambling in general.

I started playing poker in mid-2007 but it was OK then because I only played a bit, I was learning the game. But that Christmas, I had a revelation: the concept of position! So I started 2008 applying this new position based poker (new for me that is) and my results improved overnight. Encouraged by these results, I started playing more and became obsessed with improving my play. And in June, less than a year after taking up poker, I had a 4K month and to me at the time, that was an incredible amount to win! Sounds silly but I couldn't believe it! My relationship was starting to hurt but I was making progress in poker. We went on a happy holiday that summer, not knowing that it would be my last with her.

Things did not improve when we got back to London (we were living together) and she started getting more and more concerned about my poker playing. Then she told me I needed to visit Gamblers Anonymous and that's when things got heated! I just couldn't figure out what was so problem gambler about me being profitable in my rookie year and wanting to delve deeper into it. But I soon got it: She didn't believe I was winning, I realised that when I found out she had been looking at my bank statements, and naturally I was fuming!

We broke up a couple of months later and I didn't see her for several months, I didn't even know where she was. When I finally saw her again, I thought we could perhaps repair the damage. But that wasn't really what she had in mind. She made it pretty clear to me: "It's me or poker!"

By then I had lost my job (I was a trader for an online bookmaker and was working about 20h a week) and the job market was very hostile so giving up poker wasn't really an option. So we left it at that.

Since then she told me that she now understands poker is a game of skill and that she was getting the wrong idea about me being a problem gambler. But by then it was too late. I became seriously depressed and sick for about 6 months before getting a grip. And here I am, still single and still playing poker.

While I realised I somewhat neglected her, I was probably not the only one to blame, it's clear to me she didn't want to understand and she made no concession. Sometimes I look back in regret, dying for a chance to re-negociate this all over again... and I wonder what might have been.
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Old 10-12-2011, 12:36 PM   #68
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

It works if both players employ a mature, disciplined, and responsible approach to poker. If not, it's a nightmare waiting to happen. It's possible it could also work if both are degens and Bonnie & Clyde type thrill seekers who enjoy the extreme of being flush and busto.
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Old 10-12-2011, 06:04 PM   #69
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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It's possible it could also work if both are degens and Bonnie & Clyde type thrill seekers who enjoy the extreme of being flush and busto.
this would be awesome to see in poker, tend to see a bunch of these in the real world.
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Old 10-19-2011, 10:27 PM   #70
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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Originally Posted by BlunderCity View Post
Wow 5 pages and no real bad story, I thought this thread would be full of that! Well I guess I'll the first one then.

Short story: I lost my girlfriend to poker.

Long story: I was in a relationship with an attractive, intelligent and creative german girl who worked in TV and films. We travelled the world, drank champagne and gave each other massages. But she hated poker and gambling in general.

I started playing poker in mid-2007 but it was OK then because I only played a bit, I was learning the game. But that Christmas, I had a revelation: the concept of position! So I started 2008 applying this new position based poker (new for me that is) and my results improved overnight. Encouraged by these results, I started playing more and became obsessed with improving my play. And in June, less than a year after taking up poker, I had a 4K month and to me at the time, that was an incredible amount to win! Sounds silly but I couldn't believe it! My relationship was starting to hurt but I was making progress in poker. We went on a happy holiday that summer, not knowing that it would be my last with her.

Things did not improve when we got back to London (we were living together) and she started getting more and more concerned about my poker playing. Then she told me I needed to visit Gamblers Anonymous and that's when things got heated! I just couldn't figure out what was so problem gambler about me being profitable in my rookie year and wanting to delve deeper into it. But I soon got it: She didn't believe I was winning, I realised that when I found out she had been looking at my bank statements, and naturally I was fuming!

We broke up a couple of months later and I didn't see her for several months, I didn't even know where she was. When I finally saw her again, I thought we could perhaps repair the damage. But that wasn't really what she had in mind. She made it pretty clear to me: "It's me or poker!"

By then I had lost my job (I was a trader for an online bookmaker and was working about 20h a week) and the job market was very hostile so giving up poker wasn't really an option. So we left it at that.

Since then she told me that she now understands poker is a game of skill and that she was getting the wrong idea about me being a problem gambler. But by then it was too late. I became seriously depressed and sick for about 6 months before getting a grip. And here I am, still single and still playing poker.

While I realised I somewhat neglected her, I was probably not the only one to blame, it's clear to me she didn't want to understand and she made no concession. Sometimes I look back in regret, dying for a chance to re-negociate this all over again... and I wonder what might have been.
damn dude..that blows..but don't worry, you're not alone. I had a similar situation occur to me too.
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Old 10-20-2011, 02:08 AM   #71
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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Originally Posted by BlunderCity View Post
Short story: I lost my girlfriend to poker.
If it makes you feel better, I think you lost your gf because it turned out she pretty much sucked (please don't take offence). Anyone who doesn't trust you in your profession isn't worth being with. The GA thing makes me angry. Think of all the time you saved by not spending any more time with someone that ultimately didn't respect you. Better that you found out sooner than later and without poker it may have taken longer.

Gl in the future, and I hope you find someone who values you like they should!
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Old 02-05-2012, 10:01 AM   #72
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

bump
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Old 08-21-2012, 08:45 PM   #73
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

Hmmm I just did a google search for "girls don't understand poker players" and this thread was one of the top results. I sort of half expected that 2+2 would have something to say on the subject!

I'm a poker professional. Have been for a while now and my life is really good. Have great friends, when I'm not playing poker I'm always out doing something whether it's dinner, cinema, mini golf or random day trips somewhere. I have been single for almost 6 years now and I'm 30 years old.

I have had fun but would like to meet someone and give that side of life a shot again. Problem is I'm not great at approaching girls IRL so I thought I'd try online dating with plentyoffish.com.

My first profile I put up that I played poker for a living and didn't get many responses or replies but I put that down to a half hearted attempt at a profile and crap pictures. The second time (current profile) I just put self employed in the profession box, paid for an upgraded profile and put some good pics on it. This profile gave me way more success. I was getting some replies to messages, girls were clicking the meet me buttons indicating that they were attracted towards my profile and I got talking to 3 or 4 girls that I had thought were way out of my league. Over 70 girls have clicked that they want to meet me! It was a great confidence booster.

But then they ask what I did for a living and I mention professional poker player and it all went pear shaped.

One girl told me that the reason she broke up with her ex was because of internet gambling. Sigh...I'm used to exploiting these guys on a daily basis so no matter what I was never going to win this one over.

Two girls, one who I had tonnes in common with in terms of interests, just stopped talking to me. We went from swapping 5 or 6 messages a day to them just not replying to the last message I sent in reply to the what do you do for a living question.

The other girl asked me if it was something I could get addicted to. Well yeah I'm sure it is but so is alcohol and coffee and if she ever asked my backer if I was addicted he would just laugh as a busy month for me is playing 30k hands! No chance of addiction here but I gave her an answer along those lines and then she just stopped replying too.

Girls here in the UK just don't understand poker. It's not like in America where they have card games at Christmas...most probably haven't held a playing card even once in their lives so the idea that I make money this way is a foreign concept to them.

It has actually gotten me a bit down and wondering why the hell I even bothered trying to date again. I don't deal well with rejection but can accept that I'm no Brad Pitt or w/e so if a girl doesn't find me physically attractive then that's cool I'm okay with that but to not like me because of what I do for work is just depressing.

I love what I do, I love the freedom it gives me and I love that I'm not living what many would consider a standard life. I thought girls would find it cool and interesting but how wrong I was.

Anyway just thought I'd share my story. Gl.
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Old 08-22-2012, 06:19 PM   #74
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Being from the UK, I understand how difficult it is to find people who "get" internet poker. None of my friends really understand it.

Anyhow, on to your post. Have you thought about being more vague, and responding with something like you work for an internet company (esp as you have a backer)? Once you get to know them better and they can see you're able to provide for yourself, then tell them more about poker.

There's a chapter in leatherass book "Treat your poker like a business" that's written by his wife that gives some advice about this kind of situation.

Gl with the dating
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Old 08-23-2012, 05:26 AM   #75
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

Basically only an issue for chicks. Us guys are outnumbered so much that the chances of us ever being in a position to date a poker player are very low. That being said I would love to date a poker chick I feel a lot of chicks don't understand the whole concept of professional poker players.
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