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Old 08-13-2011, 01:24 PM   #26
DcifrThs
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

wow. people are stupid.

getting upset at your gf for playing poker how she wants? really? that's a strange sense of entitlement he's got going there.

personally i usually keep poker/girls separate. i tend to date non-poker players. i've dated a dealer and that's fun but gets old fast. she always smelled like smoke and while i was secure in her attraction to me, it's still annoying to have guys always hitting on her and i assume the same goes for girls playing poker in casinos. men gunna be men lol.

currently, my gf likes poker b/c her introduction to it was awesome. got free rooms at the borgata for playing just a few hrs of limit 40. we went for the day and she got a bit sick from the borgata buffet and we wanted to see wanda sykes so the room let us do that.

i also ended up winning so her introduction was free borgata rooms, "free" $, and a social and happy environment. she met a few of my poker friends and likes them all so far.

her issue is that she assumes that i should win whenever i play. i've explained that no matter what it's a gamble in the short run, though in the long run i'll come out ahead.

imo, poker shouldn't be an issue unless you suck at it, get upset about it, or otherwise make it a problem lol (and even if you do suck at it, it can still just be something you do for fun with a restricted budget etc.).

if you're "known" from the forums or anything that helps too i think (to some small degree). i was playing and left w/ my gf and a guy came up and was liek "hey, you're dcifrths right? pleasure meeting you, i've been a fan for a while" and that helped the gf as a nice little ego boost being with a "known" player lol.

overall, it's obv easier if you're a girl to land a poker playing bf than vice versa. but no matter what, it shouldn't dictate your relationship nor be a point of stress. if it is, i think that says much more about you (or him/her) than about poker.
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Old 08-13-2011, 01:53 PM   #27
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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Originally Posted by DcifrThs View Post
personally i usually keep poker/girls separate. i tend to date non-poker players. i've dated a dealer and that's fun but gets old fast. she always smelled like smoke and while i was secure in her attraction to me, it's still annoying to have guys always hitting on her and i assume the same goes for girls playing poker in casinos. men gunna be men lol.
I do not get this. If you have a hot girlfriend, particularly one that is friendly and talkative, she's going to get hit on.

She can be pumping gas or buying groceries and if she's hot, she's going to get hit on. This is a non-poker issue!

Would you rather have a girlfriend that other guys aren't into? Or cover her in caution tape?
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Old 08-13-2011, 02:05 PM   #28
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

Poker is something that I do not bring up with my girlfriend anymore (or at least try to avoid) because when it does come up it shes always gets frustrated because she thinks I'm in denial about poker being a complete game of luck. I've given up on trying to explain the skill aspect because she'll hold onto any excuse to continue to not believe what I'm telling her.
Her grandfather had a gambling problem and lost thousands playing poker after winning a lot over his lifetime. This is why, I'm guessing, she is so closed-minded about me playing and having any chance at success. I only played .01/.02 before the shutdown, but if I had kept winning and started moving up she would probably think that I was on the same path as her grandfather.

Me playing poker doesn't put stress on our relationship. We never argue about me playing too much/not giving her enough attention/etc. The problem, I guess is that I cant find any common ground with her on the topic.

It's the money that I'm playing for that she has a problem with. She'll sit down with my family and I and play a game with us just to see who wins. She plays any two cards(because she's a boss like that), but when she does fold she looks at me with a smile because she knows that I appreciate her trying to be "strategic"
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Old 08-13-2011, 02:18 PM   #29
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

I can see why that would be a problem....her thinking it's a gambling problem.

I also have heard guys complain when girls expect the guy to make his schedule around her, as if poker isn't a real job and fits into his life after her.

And then there is the whole not understanding that bankroll isn't a savings account.
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Old 08-13-2011, 02:21 PM   #30
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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Originally Posted by pezbaby View Post
I do not get this. If you have a hot girlfriend, particularly one that is friendly and talkative, she's going to get hit on.

She can be pumping gas or buying groceries and if she's hot, she's going to get hit on. This is a non-poker issue!

Would you rather have a girlfriend that other guys aren't into? Or cover her in caution tape?
c'mon pez :-).

there's a big difference b/w getting hit on for a second in the grocery store, or pumping gas, or whatever, and being hit on consistently for long periods of time at a poker table. especially if she's a dealer.

of course there's a sense of pride that comes with it but it's also just annoying after a while. the dealer i dated sent me a text on her break (i gave her my #) and said "this is my #. don't give it out. i NEVER give my # to poker players...but i dunno, i guess you're lucky ;-)"

but while i was playing it was kinda annoying to look over and always see all sorts of guys hitting on her literally all the time. i'm not the jealous type either. i trusted her but there's only so much of the constant guy attention that i 'feel' is ok (obv everybody has diff limits or whatever so this is just me).

in any case, i am fine w/ gfs getting hit on as that's expected...like i said...men gunna be men. just that a casino and an enclosed environment's a bit different imo.

i'd bet that if this bothers me even remotely, then most guys would be going bat**** crazy b/c i'm about as laid back as one can be about this stuff.

one ex of mine from RI had an exbf that was so consumed w/ jealousy that one time she told him a funny story about some guy who balled up a piece of paper with his # on it and threw it through her open passenger side window giving her the "call me" sign with his hand on the ear. she told her ex this story and his response was "oh great. wtf...did you suck him off?!?!"

mine woulda been to laugh and share in the funny story.

given that you're a girl poker player (again, sorry about the initial confusion on that point LOLL), you have to kinda at least see what i'm talking about right? there's a difference b/w casino hitting on and random pumping gas/grocery store hitting on...

...or am i just as crazy as i feel typing this long rambling post?


PS --> love the visual image of covering her in caution tape. that's pretty good. i may use that.
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Old 08-13-2011, 02:28 PM   #31
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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c'mon pez :-).
given that you're a girl poker player (again, sorry about the initial confusion on that point LOLL), you have to kinda at least see what i'm talking about right? there's a difference b/w casino hitting on and random pumping gas/grocery store hitting on...
I don't really see the difference. If she's loyal, then she's going to always reject. And if she's not, then it really doesn't matter where she meets them.

I just have to believe you didn't really trust her.
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Old 08-13-2011, 02:34 PM   #32
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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I don't really see the difference. If she's loyal, then she's going to always reject. And if she's not, then it really doesn't matter where she meets them.

I just have to believe you didn't really trust her.
it wasn't annoying b/c i thought she'd stray. it was annoying for some other reason i can't put my finger on. i mean maybe i didn't trust her implicitly.

maybe i liked her more than i normally like girls i date and wanted to keep her to myself lol? she definitely was pretty much spot on physically one type of girl i really like. 4'10, 95lbs, blond, blue, perfect skin.

but aside from that, i do think there is a difference. the enclosed nature of it and constant nature of it imo makes it different.

anyways, i dont wanna hijack this thread more than i think i have already lol.
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Old 08-14-2011, 03:11 AM   #33
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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There are guys that can't even deal with a woman making more money in a different field. Imagine in the same one. That's emasculating!
A good friend of mine's wife went back to work after their 4 kids got old enough for her to feel comfortable doing so. She went into real estate while he's a youth pastor (not exactly a big bucks field).

I always tell him that there's nothing wrong with being a kept man. His response is always to get a big crap eating grin and say "Nope. Not at all."
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Old 08-14-2011, 04:00 AM   #34
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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Originally Posted by Pokerella View Post
Actually surprised that there isn't already a thread about this- it's a really good discussion topic, imo.
oh, but there is:

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/18...ayers-1038945/

conclusion: don't date poker players, just use their man-meat as needed.
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Old 08-15-2011, 09:19 PM   #35
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

yeah i think it can coexist
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Old 08-17-2011, 12:29 PM   #36
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

There are three loves in my life.

My GF, Poker & Weed. I explained that to her when we started dating, she's been cool
with it ever since.

(She hated both before she met me)
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Old 08-17-2011, 03:53 PM   #37
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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Not for me and my b/f, at least not at the same table.

He was absolutely furious - he said I should have known I wasn't playing against him but against the other player, and that I should have folded.

He was completely irrational on the subject; I told him that at the table he's not really my boyfriend, not for the purposes of play, but ended up just giving him the money back in order to soothe his extremely ruffled feathers.

Suffice it to say we don't play cash together anymore.
So sorry to hear. Your relationship is more important than any game, but it is sad that your boyfriend wanted you to play poorly for his benefit. YOU had the winning hand, and he should have been happy to fold and let you win the pot. Would he have acted the same if you were playing Monopoly or Chess at home?

Glad you have a resolution, as the ego is a frustrating part of partnerships.
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Old 08-17-2011, 10:07 PM   #38
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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So sorry to hear. Your relationship is more important than any game, but it is sad that your boyfriend wanted you to play poorly for his benefit. YOU had the winning hand, and he should have been happy to fold and let you win the pot. Would he have acted the same if you were playing Monopoly or Chess at home?

Glad you have a resolution, as the ego is a frustrating part of partnerships.
You know, we don't play a whole lot of other games. Wii Sports, sometimes. He can kick my ass at tennis and I ***** smack him around in bowling and golf.

This incident was at least two years ago now, I think, so needless to say we survived the trauma.
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Old 08-19-2011, 01:19 AM   #39
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

The way I look at it, if you are really committed to someone, you have to either accept "it" or try to make "it" a work. (Insert Tim Gunn.) "It" can be almost anything, but when "it" is poker, "it" touches heavily upon the two most significant stresses for any relationship (IMO) - time and money.

In my former life, I worked crazy hours. I had multiple relationships fail because my partner couldn't understand why I couldn't make and keep weeknight plans. I often got the "if you really cared about me, you'd make sure you'd spend time with me" attitude. Although I tried to explain that there was very little I could do about the crazy hours (18-20 hour work days were very common), the message didn't register.

The reason that I feel that my current relationship is so stable is because we both tend to be workaholics and play a lot of poker, but we are very cognizant of spending quality couple time together.

(Yes, I'm typing this at home while the BF is at Aria . . . but I only got home from work an hour ago.)
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Old 08-21-2011, 04:52 PM   #40
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

My mate dates a poker player (hes 1 too) and when she has her downswings...boy is she hard to talk to.
Womans emotions mixed in with all their problems then top it off with bad beats and variance is a grenade waiting to explode
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Old 08-29-2011, 09:31 PM   #41
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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Originally Posted by DcifrThs View Post
it wasn't annoying b/c i thought she'd stray. it was annoying for some other reason i can't put my finger on. i mean maybe i didn't trust her implicitly.

maybe i liked her more than i normally like girls i date and wanted to keep her to myself lol? she definitely was pretty much spot on physically one type of girl i really like. 4'10, 95lbs, blond, blue, perfect skin.

but aside from that, i do think there is a difference. the enclosed nature of it and constant nature of it imo makes it different.

anyways, i dont wanna hijack this thread more than i think i have already lol.
I think you are trippin. Any problem a guy has with jealousy usually is more of a problem of him not being able to keep his girl attracted to him. Guys who are jealous are usually the biggest douches.

I dated a stripper for 3 years and would never get the least bit jealous because I knew how bad she wanted to stick with me. Guys would try to hit on her all the time... if I was there, I'd usually walk up, put my hand in one of her pockets and tell her to introduce me to her new friend, making him look like the fool. It's actually kinda fun.

Girls know when you've got it together and when you don't. Also, you can always trust a female to be a female.
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Old 08-30-2011, 09:27 PM   #42
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

so my boyfriend told me i should make an account and just stick to the that's what she said thread. sexist much?
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Old 08-30-2011, 09:28 PM   #43
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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so my boyfriend told me i should make an account and just stick to the that's what she said thread. sexist much?
<33 I just said you should post here to get to know them. Lol@usittingnexttome.
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Old 08-30-2011, 09:34 PM   #44
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

fcker, stay out of this thread and get yo arse back to grindin' so we can make this month's rent. hahaaa
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Old 08-30-2011, 10:12 PM   #45
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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so my boyfriend told me i should make an account and just stick to the that's what she said thread. sexist much?
Hi Christina!
Dont worry sexism is the topic of the week so youre right on time. Btw I like your fish avatar.
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Old 08-30-2011, 10:56 PM   #46
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

hehe i'm a piranha; fish with teeth! :P
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Old 09-01-2011, 11:58 AM   #47
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

As long as she's got a positive redline it's all good
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Old 09-04-2011, 04:22 PM   #48
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

Just got home from a successful night of 1/2 at the casino, gf asks me if I had fun and I replied..."yeah I had a good time, made some money." I only go to the casino 3 or 4 times a month since we started dating but I take the game seriously and consider a good way to make a side income however, I always just generalize my night when talking poker with her. So anyway she later sees 10 $100 bills that I had just thrown on my dresser before showering obv. from the casino the night before and is now upset because I didn't tell her how much money I won. I told her I don't talk about exact dollars to people who don't know because in your eyes I won the lottery, in a poker players eye, I had a good night but nothing to brag about, Is this something I should feel bad about?
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Old 09-04-2011, 04:44 PM   #49
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

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Just got home from a successful night of 1/2 at the casino, gf asks me if I had fun and I replied..."yeah I had a good time, made some money." I only go to the casino 3 or 4 times a month since we started dating but I take the game seriously and consider a good way to make a side income however, I always just generalize my night when talking poker with her. So anyway she later sees 10 $100 bills that I had just thrown on my dresser before showering obv. from the casino the night before and is now upset because I didn't tell her how much money I won. I told her I don't talk about exact dollars to people who don't know because in your eyes I won the lottery, in a poker players eye, I had a good night but nothing to brag about, Is this something I should feel bad about?
She sounds high maintenance, tbh.
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Old 09-04-2011, 05:39 PM   #50
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Re: Relationships & Poker; do they & can they coexist?

the best policy is to just not mention it unless your P.E.G. really understands the game. otherwise when you make a good score they will be asking for a handout.
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