**Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread**

[Rcwillie1]

Wazz, I was not facepalming at you. It was directed at our thread's visitor.

I'm sorry if I'm not super clear; I've been trying to formulate this in another, more succinct way, but alas, I am not the greatest of explainers. I am gonna enlist the help of someone and get back to you. I know you must be eagerly waiting

I'm going to be in what I think is one of the largest classes in all of med schools, so I feel like there is at least some chance there will be others. I don't know if there is any med student org for LGBT's or anything, but I'll find out soon enough. My school seems to be pretty inclusive, so I kind of expect it.

I was googling "confronting/dealing with a homophobic co-worker" and coming up with some pretty "meh" answers. Something like, 1) tell him something you like about him 2) talk about the incident and how it makes you feel using good eye contact 3) end with good note (the ol' critique sandwich). Reinforcements welcomed

[ganstaman]

Originally Posted by Rcwillie1

I'm going to be in what I think is one of the largest classes in all of med schools, so I feel like there is at least some chance there will be others. I don't know if there is any med student org for LGBT's or anything, but I'll find out soon enough. My school seems to be pretty inclusive, so I kind of expect it.

My school had one of those LGBT organizations, but I never went to any of those meetings (of course...), so I don't know how many people went to them. It might have been a piece of AMSA, actually.

[tringlomane]

If HU got temp-banned for this, his writing/English skills didn't help matters I think. He eventually alludes to the co-worker being in the wrong here. He also says if it bothers ganstaman enough, then he should speak up about it in some sort of manner.

But when crap like this happens in the workplace, it obviously can get a little messy. The "compliment/critique sandwich" is probably the best bet for direct confrontation. Going to a supervisor would be okay too, but there is a chance it would come back that you "tattled", and obv that's not very desirable either if you have a year to go with this guy.

[ITT666]

RMC, I appreciate and respect your passionate points in PCness. These are certainly the right situations in which it's important to push PCness hard. You're right that it's similar to calling someone a N word behind their back.

You're also right to get technical with trans phobe vs. homophobe.

However you're point would be more strongly made if you didn't make similar mistakes in PCness yourself.

Hence...

them their retarded opinions are not accepted by the majority.

You might want to replace this word with a different one.

[wazz]

Yeah I knew you were facepalming at him. I think I could hear the sound of friends across the pond facepalming at this guys words.

[wazz]

Originally Posted by -RMC-

Macho is just an adjective. Straight acting is saying that somebody behavs in a way that is heterosexual. Agian how do you not understand that calling somebody's behavior a sexual identy is offensive. To say one person's attitude or actions are straight or homosexual is just wrong, why? Because sexuality is not a ****ing behavior. The words aren't even close to comparable.

Macho is not just an adjective at all, it is a derogatory term. You can't change the meanings of words for your own convenience, you certainly can't do so because a small minority have done it before you.

Would you say that women tend to act differently than men? Is effeminate a term you would deem ok? Sexuality is a behaviour. It's not a rule, there are exceptions - me, the straight guys who act a little gay and fool most of our gaydars, the gay guys who act 'macho' - but it's still a rule of the same sort that men act in certain ways (like a man) and women act in certain ways (effeminate). It may be a weaker rule, but you wouldn't have gaydar if there weren't such a thing as 'straight-acting' and 'gay-acting'.

[ganstaman]

Has anyone ever actually done a compliment sandwich? They really sound cheesy, and I can't see it working well.

Originally Posted by -RMC-

And yeah transphobic vs homophobic is very important, they aren't even comparable. Yes lets not make this the Political correct thread, but as IT said its important in some situations/context.

They are definitely comparable. In this specific instance that I was discussing, at least, the transphobic and homophobic comments were basically the same as each other and were stemming from the same basic thoughts in Joe.

I know that gender identity and sexual orientation are different things, but the "LGBT community" exists as one for a reason. Despite the differences, there are many similar issues with more or less the same 'enemies.'

[ITT666]

but it's still a rule of the same sort that men act in certain ways (like a man) and women act in certain ways (effeminate).

The word you are looking for here is, masculine.

[wazz]

Originally Posted by -RMC-

Gender is so much more complicated than sexuality don't compare the two.

This seems like the root of our differences of opinion.

[ganstaman]

Originally Posted by -RMC-

Gender is so much more complicated than sexuality

You sure?

Originally Posted by -RMC-

But there is no overlap between being transsexual and being homosexual.

Great, and if you think this is what I'm talking about then you need to reread my posts. I was comparing transphobia to homophobia, not transsexualism to homosexuality.

[SGT RJ]

I'm almost positive HU got temp-banned for something in OOT.

[JMurder3]

Yeah...not for the posting here...although might have been tempting if I had seen it before. Do y'all want his stuff deleted, or let it stay?

On another note, met Protential & his bf the other night at the TWSS meetup. Really nice guys. My gf liked them a lot too & loved their matching shirts

[ganstaman]

Originally Posted by -RMC-

Yes I am sure. Sexual orentian is a scale yes, and can be confusing to some. However all it is, is what gender you are attracted to and nothing else. Whether that be 90% guys and 10% women or 100% men, one can at least understand what genders they are attracted to.

Gender is extremely complicated, however not for the majority of people. Gender identity is an extremely complex topic that can not be solved. Gender is not binary whatsoever regardless of what most people think. Yes sexuality isn't either, but its much more complicated than that with gender. When one is confused about their gender it produces such an extremely large confusing thoughts. When a man starts to realize he enjoys crossing the gender line, he will think hes a freak or he just likes being female from time to time. Then thoughts like, well why can't I be female all the time? Why can't I live both as a male and a female? Why do I not enjoy being a male? How can I be a woman but born as a male? ETC ETC ETC. There are cross dressers, fully transexual, drag queen, cross-gender and so on. There is tremendous overlap from all of these groups, because most people crossing the gender line explore them all because of how confusing it is to figure out what your gender identity is.

Figuring out I was attracted to men was simple, I liked what I saw. Admitting it not so much, but knowing I liked men was pretty simple. Figuring out what gender identity I am is the most confusing thing I have ever encountered in my life. Sometimes I am happy as a boy, but sometimes I am not. I feel this jealousy towards woman all the time and I feel like I want to become a lady. But then I question it even more, since I am ok living as a male. Am I just a cd, cross gender? Would I be happier living full time as a female?

Please explain to me how sexuality is more complicated then gender, or even close to equal. .

So you boil sexual orientation down to a small paragraph, but you stretch out gender identity into more details, and you think this shows the latter is more complicated. One could easily just reverse the situation by copying what you wrote but substituting in the appropriate terms to demonstrate just as non-convincingly that sexual orientation is actually the more complicated of the 2.

I honestly don't think either is clearly more complicated than the other. I understand that for you, discovering you gender identity was harder than sexual orientation, but this is not universal, and I think it is blocking you from understanding just how difficult sexual orientation is for many.

[AAmaz0n]

We'll, allow me to clarify the situation.

"Well that's the way that I want it to stay
And I always want it to be that way for my Lola
Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola
Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola
Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola

Well I left home just a week before
And I'd never ever kissed a woman before
But Lola smiled and took me by the hand
And said dear boy I'm gonna make you a man

Well I'm not the worlds most masculine man
But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man
And so is Lola
Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola
Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola"

That should settle it.

People forget that the Kinsey scale is not just 0 and 6, but some numbers in between. We should really have the same scale for gender. Some of us are 3/3 on the charts with a bullet.

Shauna

hugs to all
Shauna

[Rcwillie1]

I am being so frickin' gay at the moment. It is absurd. The move from San Francisco to The Midwest has caused gay to ooze from my pores. AH!

For those people wanting to come out, but who can't just yet:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juOcp...0&feature=plcp

Just another idea.