You might want to make it clear that you don't expect her to lie for you. In fact, tell her you appreciate that she would be willing to do so for you, it shows that she is trying to be a good friend, but you don't expect her to be in your closet. Something like a simple "he's not my type" or "I'm not his type" with no follow-up explanation is fine, but her taking it further than that is going to be awkward and uncomfortable for her (and you).

I understand you wanting to come out in your own time and manner, but a lot of people aren't comfortable with keeping this type of secret - it's sort of like you're dragging them into your closet, which tends to feel like a burden to them. Let her know you don't expect her to lie for you, and that if she's asked point blank, it's okay for her to tell the truth.

It's still close, but it seems as of now that Maine, Maryland, and Washington have voted to legalize same sex marriage, and Minnesota is close to voting against a ban of same sex marriage.

Nice to see some states leading the way on this issue. Too bad the federal government fails to extend 14th amendment protection to all though.

I voted in MD.

Agreed, although there are too many reasons this will just not happen in the forseable future (the larger majority of congress needed for constitutional ammendments and the state ratification process is just a behemoth to deal with). It is fantastic to see some more states on the wagon though! Can't wait till it's nearly universal at a state level, then maybe that constitutional fight will happen, which is what really needs to be the eventual conclusion...that or overturning some of the more recent supreme court decisions.

I wouldn't rule out an important court case allowing the Supreme Court to extend the 14th amendment in such a way. A lot of people are unaware that many racist laws in various states were actually outlawed not for obvious reasons (because discrimination is wrong, mkay?) but because they violated the interstate trade clause of the Constitution back in the 50s and 60s. Or at leas this is what I vaguely recall from my Constitutional Law class as an undergrad.

I'm not sure the current court is activist enough right now, though.

The real point is, history strongly suggests that gay rights are an inevitability. The progress will be slower and more painful than would be liked, but eventually the side of treating all people equally wins out.

There is no rational basis for excluding gays from full civil rights. You can quibble about the language of it (civil unions? marriage?) and I fully support the right of religious institutions to not perform ceremonies that would interfere with their freedom of religion, but marriage is a social contract more than it is a religious ceremony. Let the people who think being gay is a SIN continue to live in their deluded little world, but the government has no basis to deny a particular segment of the population full civil rights, and I think eventually that is the reality that will win out.

Mariage equality is all well and good, but it is one facet of a battle to afford the LGBTQ population protection against institutionalized discrimination. It's also probably the easiest goal of the current gay rights movement to achieve, and hence the current target on state-wide levels.

As to the Supreme Court, with the current makeup nothing is going to change, and additionally alot of precedent was set in relatively recent Supreme Court decisions, making it more unlikely for such cases to spring up quickly...although DOMA being overturned in the near future is not an unreasonable outcome. Look at (Bowers v Hardwick, Romer v Evans (1996) and Boy Scouts of America v Dale (2000)), they're all interesting in the context of the modern equal rights movement. Also there's an important case regarding the "smoker's bill of rights" and the doctrine it inspired being applied to gay rights, wasn't a positive outcome in the court, but forgot the name.

Eventually it will happen, but in the next 5-10 years, probably not, the most we'll see in that time frame I think is DOMA repealed and a plurality of states allowing same-sex marriage, nothing close to equal rights protection etc...that'll be past the 10 or 15 year out mark imo.

Over a month later, the coming out continues (for reference: earlier coming out post from this thread).

I was out at dinner tonight with some friends/coworkers and some got onto talking about me being single. They were well-intentioned, wanting me to find someone so I'd be happy. But after a while, I guess my deflecting answers could have raised a red flag.

Female friend 1: "Do you even want a girl?"
Me: "No. I'm happy as I am"
Female friend 2: "Guys, we're getting ahead of ourselves. What are you looking for? Is it a girl, is it a guy?"
Me: hesitates, "It's a guy."

I don't know what answer she expected from that. I had no prior reasons to believe she thought I was gay. I sorta like the direct question though as it forced the issue without anymore secrets or games. On the other hand, she later apologized for putting me on the spot in front of everyone.

I wasn't expecting this to happen tonight or this way or to these particular people, but you can't control everything in life. Also, I expect some of these people to talk, so I can just assume I'm already out to our group of mutual friends/coworkers...? Falling down the rabbit hole already. Next step is to eventually be peer pressured into making an online dating account.

Make that account already!

Honestly it is the easiest way to get chatting with people, and while most sites are filled with people who mostly want hook-ups, you can find great guys who want much more than that if you are patient and picky.

I met my current BF on a dating site, we've been together for over 2 years.

Best of luck ^.^

Thanks, but my objection to joining a dating site isn't that I don't think it would work out well. It's more that I'm shy, insecure, scared of change, blah blah blah, and happy being alone, most of the time. But since not all the time, I know I'll give in eventually.

Give in and grind Grindr. You just said you are shy, so I feel especially bad asking this, but have you dated a guy before ever? This is coming from someone who has been on like 3 formal dates, so I hope it's clear that I am passing no judgments. If it was mentioned in another post, my bad.

It's probably really shallow of me, but... I'd like to see what other rainbowfloppers look like. If anyone else is curious and would like to reveal themselves as well, I will volunteer myself up first. I just want to put names to faces, and maybe drum up some activity in this ol' thread.

Pictures of people would be cool. Some of us have met in person, and i know my pic is around 2+2/the net and easy to find.

But if ppl want i can post another of me here as well.

Preparing for a Lady Gaga concert - how fitting for this thread? SEQUINS.

No question could upset me, so don't hold back if you're wondering anything. I have not dated anyone before. One issue was not being out at all until a month ago, which would have made it difficult to juggle the 2 lives. I mean, I've met up with guys from online to yadda yadda and I had enough trouble lying to my roommates/friends about where I was.

The second issue is the social awkwardness and lack of assertiveness/confidence. It sort of kills any drive or ability to even try. I'm getting a lot better with regards to this, but there's still a long way to go. I also don't drink alcohol at all, which I think is a minor hindrance as well.

And here's me playing some Lady Gaga. Well, not really. I'd never wear sequins. But I am playing 2 keyboards at once. (also I 'erased' the chalkboard partially to cover up some vague identifying info, but also because it was fun to do)

All this pic needs is you sippin on some vegetable liquid substance you like to make

I've barely been keeping up with this thread so I have no idea whether this happened last year, but there definitely needs to be a meetup at this year's WSOP at a gay bar... hopefully towards the beginning of the summer before things really get too busy.

Sorry that's totally random but I just constantly feel like I'm choosing between spending time with my poker friends and seeking out some sort of gay community, and if those two things could intersect, that would be really freaking cool. Don't you think? Does anyone feel this overwhelming disconnect, or is it just me? I think it's a huge part of the reason I've never felt completely 100% comfortable/myself in the poker world... I mean there are other reasons too like my politics not aligning with a lot of other people... but sexuality has a lot to do with that, and I think if there were more queer people around, it would make a big difference.

If im in vegas next year im definitely up for that

Obv down for this!

Also definitely agree with you. Being able to speak/hangout with other queer players = the nuts.

It's nice having many interests/life exp's intersect. Makes hanging out much more enjoyable.

Like while i'm comfy with my poker friends, and my queer friends, I also feel as though there is disconnect with each.

I'd really like for this, but my schedule's not great for the WSOP. If I knew when enough in advance, I could be there for a weekend plus the Friday before or Monday after. Though a weekend in Vegas sounds possibly more expensive than it's worth.

I'd like to meet up with people too - I'll be coming for EDC and maybe some smaller tournies if I can sell a bit of action again. It'd be cool to have some more people to hang with at EDC as well, if anyone else will be going. It's an amazing time.

First semester of med school done, IFEELSOGOOD!
(Not related to this thread, I just had to let the world know.)

Congrats! Only 7 more to go, then at least 3 years of residency... If it helps, I liked every year more than the last, except maybe when I broke my wrist just when M2 started and had trouble filling out scantrons, doing labs with bacteria, and playing ping pong, pool, and soccer.

I watched this video on youtube and found it interesting: Things Straight People Take For Granted

Especially the part (from the beginning to the 2 minute mark) where he talks about not knowing if the person you're staring at and find attractive is gay/bi too. I keep having this problem at the poker tables especially and it really bothers me. Is he gay, friendly, or fishing for info (even when not in a hand)? Am I making too much eye contact/staring too much/smiling too much and therefore coming off creepy, or is he wondering all the same things? Makes me want to scream in frustration.

On another note, from my post several posts up: "Also, I expect some of these people to talk, so I can just assume I'm already out to our group of mutual friends/coworkers...?" Yesterday I found out the answer is yes, they do talk, and therefore I am out to this group of friends/coworkers, at least most of them.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Merry Christmas everyone (or whatever holiday of your choice)

My celebrating involves a muscle bear Santa wearing leather ass-less chaps.