I didn't really know where to post this, so let's try this thread! This ended up pretty long-winded but I'm counting on you ladies to be able to read it
Can the ladies of TTWS tell me why most ladies feel neglected if their men need their time alone? This seems like a universal fact based on both my own experiences and everyone's I've discussed this with.
Background story is that I'm moving in with a girl in a little over a month, and it's the first time for me. I've had girl roommates a few times and it's always been great, but I've always been extremely scared of the idea of moving in with a girlfriend and not just a female friend. EXTREMELY. When I look back at my previous relationships I can't think of a single one where I would have seen it as a realistic possibility for the near future.
I've had four serious and one half-serious relationship before this, lasting a year or longer, and the girl I'm with now is my absolute dream girl and we've been together for 1,5 years+. I feel like I have a lot perspective since I've been in so many different relationships and there's no chance I'd do this if I didn't feel very strongly for her and I didn't have faith that it could actually work out since we're just perfect match in every way.
However I'm already worried about how it's going to work on a day to day basis since I'm definitely a bit of a lone wolf and I go nuts if I don't get my own time regularly, a lot of it. I'm social/outgoing when I hang out with people, but I can't really take people in large doses, and having to see people too much makes me feel... I can't even find a word, but not good. I just want to be able to do my own thing and not see anyone (including my girlfriend), because I just need it and can't help it.
My gf's not clingy or anything but I'm almost certain that when we move in in a lot of cases when I retreat to have my own time she is going to feel neglected. And then there's that I have to start grinding at around 7PM or 8PM five nights a week (MTT pro). I usually get up around 4PM, so after a certain amount of time spent together I have to go to my office in the next room and close the door and put my headphones on to concentrate, and leave her alone in the living room for the rest of the night. Maaaany hours when your boyfriend is a few meters from you but won't say a word to you when he at least physically could. It has to be a tough feeling. While she's a smart girl and understands poker pretty well and knows it's my job, I'm still almost 100% sure that at times she's going to feel neglected, as if I'm choosing between spending the night with her and poker, since every time I leave I still have the option to stay. There's no way she'd ever make a number of it or probably even mention it but I'd really like to come up with a way to not make her feel bad.
So I guess my questions are: Where does this feeling of neglection for women come from when men need to be alone sometimes (with male roommates it's completely standard for the other guy to just tell the other one to **** off so he can spend some time with himself), what can I do to stop my gf from feeling like that in both the cases where I need to be alone to do nothing in particular and when I want to be grinding, and do the posters in the nicest forum on 2+2 have any first time moving in tips from a female perspective?
I'm also really interested to hear if anyone's past relationships have got screwed up because of moving in. Do you guys think it was because you did it too fast or would it have been inavoidable anyway? Are there any particular traits men should avoid to make it work for you? Another reason why I'm slightly scared about this is that I guess it's a universal fact that if you move in with someone and it doesn't work out, there's no returning to the relationship either because everything'd be so weird. I think it's almost impossible to find a girlfriend who'd be more suitable for me, and I'd hate to **** this up, so let me know what I need to take care of and how to behave.
edit: if this is the wrong place please point me somewhere, I pondered between this, creating a new thread here, 4L and OOT.