http://justinbonomo.blogspot.com/

Is this experience common? I've not seen any bad treatment of women at a poker table but I may be blind to it?

He nailed it.

I've been playing live for 10 years. About 6 of those years I was full time and played live frequently (and post Black Friday, exclusively). I have had men do the following to me:

-Touch me uninvited like I'm an exhibit in a ****ing petting zoo (too many times to count)

-When HU on the river facing a bet from me, ask me if they can touch my tits if they fold (twice)

-Purchase alcohol for me without asking even though I don't drink and call me names when I refuse to imbibe (probably about a dozen times)

-Yell to me "get your pussy in the cab!" while I'm waiting for the valet to bring the car (only once thank Christ but it was a "respected" name pro)

-Tell me I'm fat and/or ugly if I win a large pot from them (frequently)

-Call me all kinds of names when I decline to give them my number (maybe 20 times lifetime)

Those are just the ones I can think of right away.

And I don't have it as bad as many other women do because I mostly play off-brand games where the community is small and if someone is acting like a jackass they will be subjected to gargantuan quantities of public ridicule.

It's really difficult to overstate how huge of a problem this is.

I only have seen this once, even as a male I was repulsed.

Girl racking up in cash game after harassment and she never responded and as soon as she gets up and I mean not having taken 2 steps the guy buried his face into the seat she was sitting in (him in the 7 and her in the 6 or something) and deeply inhaled loudly.


I mean I could go on and on about the the ways this makes me cringe. I wouldn't want to play if I was a girl either

This isn't a poker problem, it's a society problem. I seriously doubt anyone who is committing these acts are on 2+2 or follows bonomo on Twitter. I also don't think anyone with any moral compass would allow any of the above mentioned acts to happen without saying a word.

Any educated guesses on which pros he is talking about?

Obviously poker rooms aren't the only places these things happen but it's pretty bad there. I feel much safer, say, in the grocery store. That's not an accident.

Also people who have some degree of morality often have no spine and don't say anything.

I don't see how any good could possibly come of speculating on this.

I agree. This isn't the place to speculate on a serious matter like this.

Speculation? I agree. However, somebody here knows who this is and his name needs to be brought forward. Much like the Cosby incidents, if this guy is allowed to remain in hiding, there may be other victims. We need to out this scumbag immediately.

Here's a great article by Lee Davy who sums it up nicely. http://calvinayre.com/2015/11/25/pok...urce=hootsuite

It's not like there is only one rapist in the entire poker community, even in the known 'pro' community it's highly unlikely only one guy has ever committed rape.

Not defending or condoning his actions whoever he is, but that article and some of the replies in this thread sound like it's this one guy and if you find him and he goes to jail never again will any woman feel unsafe at the poker table.

I've been playing live poker for 12 years and I don't recall a high amount of women being abused. If anything, I'd say it's less to be honest. I've been treated like **** quite a bit. I've seen men be cruel to men a lot. That's a reason why I sometimes decide to stay home and play poker instead because you can easily tune out the a-holes online.

Though it's a societal issue, these lowlife scums seem to think it's at least somewhat acceptable in a gambling setting, where it seems old-school logic of poker being a "man's game" reigns in their heads. Much like a high roller thinks being an ass is acceptable behavior in the pits, for some reason, bigoted and sexist guys seem to think it's ok to display these types of acts in the poker room.

When we see these types of things (and by we, I mean guys), we need to step up and say something. Not because we're to become "knights to save the girl", but because these acts are unacceptable on behalf of everyone. And people need to know this is not acceptable, by far. Embarrass the hell out of these guys. The game does not need them.

Not everyone with a moral compass has the guts to openly confront this behaviour. I do, but that's because I'm a massive gobsh*te

This is how men are when they aren't forced to conform to social norms. In a male dominated social setting men will be far looser and more crude than they are otherwise. They can get away with it more and will toss aside manners that are normal and expected in other social settings. The makeup of the general poker population doesn't help either (their morals, the # of sex offenders that choose to play poker because they can't get a normal job, etc).

I don't have much to say except that it seems people are conflating two different things.

Sometimes "in poker" means top, full-time players who know each other playing in big tournaments. Maybe there is a specific problem with some people in that community at the moment.

In other cases, people are talking about poker rooms in general, IMHO what goes down in a poker room in Pittsburgh or London or Los Angeles or Kiev depends on more on the culture of the place its located rather than some general "poker" culture being transmitted from place to place. The behaviour may also be misogynist there, but it's a Pittsburgh or London or Los Angeles or Kiev problem rather than a "poker" problem and you need to fight it city by city.

How does a poker room compare to another entertainment venue like a bar or a nightclub though?

Honestly, the big obvious abusive things that people talk about aren't all that common. It's the subtle, little things that pervade every aspect of our interactions with many male players that cause more harm.

I don't really know how to describe what I mean other than to give some personal examples of both. First, a disclaimer. I am NOT a typical "girl". I spent 10 years in the military, I skydive, I play poker, I tend to have more guy friends, and i'm definitely a "tomboy." the overt things don't offend me at all. In fact, they tend to amuse me.

For example, just last night I got called a douchebag and told that I "looked like the type of person who would eat a penis out of a guy's crap." (he didn't really say "crap" but there's a profanity filter here) See, that sort of stuff coming from a drunk guy who is donating half his bankroll to me is just funny. I'm enough of a poker player to never say anything to rock that boat, and I even tried to shush the dude at the table who stood up for me. But I am atypical, and I'm sure you could see how a normal gal who might be newer to the game or not used to being around guys all the time might take that.

What DOES bug me is when two guys at the other end of the table talk about me like I can't hear. Or how older men coddle me by soft playing. Or how guys interrupt me when I talk. Or when some dude verbally abuses the girlfriend who is patiently sitting behind him while he plays. Or assume that because I'm the only female employee in the poker room on swing shift, that they can just give me their cocktail order.

These little things are not things that are easily changed, because they are just part of our culture...the way we are taught to think. Most men don't even realize that they're doing these things, or they don't realize how it affects the women around them. Heck, most women probably don't even realize it. They just don't feel comfortable, and they might even be sure why.

Honestly, I'm not even sure there's a way to fix it. For the overt things, guys need to tone it down...but women need to toughen up a bit too. For the subtle things, it would take a change in culture, or in upbringing. That's nearly impossible.

LektorAJ,

I very rarely go to bars and haven't been to a club in many years so my experiences with those venues are limited but from what I've personally observed, they can either be tons better or tons worse than the average poker room.

Are names ever going to be released? By these guys being allowed to remain anonymous they will continue to behave the same way especially if something as serious as rape was involved.

If these are players considered to be well liked then there are a lot of unsuspecting women that probably associate with said players today and dont know the danger they could be in. As far as I know I dont believe there are legal ramification for calling out a alledge rapist, so Im not sure why the secrecy. Unless these stories have a high chance of fabrication, or partial truths became whole to justin and he chose not to speak further, or a settlement was reached. Either way further explanation is needed a month already has passed.

Wow that crap story is insane iv never heard such a thing nor could have i imagined it either. Your old man coddling story is a great point its similar to have people call me brother because im black. Some idiocy is so ingrained culture you let things slide cause if not you would be in shouting matches every second of everyday.

Well if poker rooms are at roughly the same average level as other entertainment venues where people are expected to drink and interact then it suggests then it's a people problem rather than poker problem ("it" meaning the wider problem of behaviour in poker rooms rather than the specific predators in the travelling/elite poker world).

What if men were treated the same way, would it be an issue then? Nope, likely not, it is because there are less of them. I hear all about these comments bothering people they get and we all get comments and its just BS. I got picked on as a kid and at the table too: if you don't like it, call the floor, have them deal with it, and go up the chain...otherwise, I think its a non-issue. However, if someone is being touched, different story, that criminal activity, but verbal things are not unless they are threats. Period.

http://blog.ian.gent/2013/10/the-pet...attack-on.html

Nothing to add except that Bonomo writes like a seventh grade kid.

While all of this obviously is terrible, the poker room isn't where you'd expect the moral paragons of society to hang out. It goes without saying that you'll find a higher percentage of society's scumbags and degenerates at a gambling establishment that you would at, say, the supermarket.

Man or woman, however, we all have to develop thicker skin when playing poker.

+1
These are first-world problems, if that.

When I consider the mistreatment of women, my foremost concern is for those in the Middle East being sold as slaves or stoned to death or raped as a prizes of war or forced to wear a canvas bag over their bodies because of a religion's dominance and not those who get unsolicited drinks bought for them in poker rooms or are called names no worse than what men call each other.

To the woman so affected short of physical contact I would say, consider the setting and adjust your sensibilities accordingly.