i dont know that many girls who play seriously, but the couple that i do actually go out of their way to dress skimpily. they try to emphasise their cleavage and make it look like they're recreational players. they laugh and flirt etc

i otoh cant be bothered with the whole facade of pretending that im interested in the 45 year old nitty lebanese plumber im sitting next to. i just want his money. i tend to dress conservatively and not really start conversations, but i still end up getting a lot of unwanted attention.

so my question is how do you guys avoid attention without being rude?

thanks!

Smile and nod in a friendly manner but don't verbalize anything, also you can turn your attention quickly to your phone or something as they talk to you, that'll give them the hint hopefully sooner than later.

Headphones!

I chat a lot (because I talk a lot in general), but I'm usually not dressed for attention (shorts/tshirts/jeans/sweatshirts are my normal attire), and it almost always comes up at some point that I'm there with my b/f.

+1

Even then guys are just stupid enough to keep flirting because their ego says they have to. The fun part is taking their money and it is amazing how they go from nicey nicey to calling you every name in the book. I have only played a handful times live but in most cases me are civil. Online a whoooooooole different stage.

If I may speak from a male point of view, the way to avoid unwanted attention is to wear a ring on you left hand on your ring finger. Yeah, guys check this out. A few references to how involved you are in your kids' (note plural) activities will kill off any further unwanted advances. I note that the truth is absolutely unnecessary for this to work.

The last thing to keep in mind is that the vast majority of men you meet at the table would be thrilled to death to have a woman hitting on them. Therefore, they just aren't going to understand why the reverse isn't true for you.

sooooo true!!! It's so tough getting the cute, flirty guy at the table to buy you dinner when you take his stack.

heh heh heh

You sound kind of bitter. I can certainly agree that it's out of line if a guy calls you names after losing a hand to you, but what's wrong with being friendly/flirty? Poker is a social activity, I wouldn't get upset when people talk to me, especially if they're being friendly. I'd just take it as a compliment. Can you explain your point of view?

Guess I'll expand on my headphones comment-- what I meant was that having headphones gives you options (and by headphones I mean obvious ones, not inconspicuous earbuds). When I wear them at the tables they are usually on very low or even off; it gives dudes another barrier to get through in discouraging them to blither bad beat stories and I tend to wear them when someone at the table is really annoying me.

In general though, I like being social at the tables because that is just my natural personality. Generally, people are interesting to me, and talking can help clue you in as to their play. Also, male or female, I think there is an edge to be gained from your table mates liking you. But if talking distracts you from playing your best, then the edge of being liked can obv be negated by your being distracted (and then you can put on your headphones ).

From my experience, I don't think that a wedding ring alters male attention, but you are less likely to have a chatty table in higher stakes games.

Like I said I play a lot online so the guys have a tendency to call you names more online than they do in public. The times I have played live I haven't had that type of issue(except I think one guy said something under his breath...). To be honest I keep to myself much more live as to focus on every hand which is played since I do struggle with ADD.

be straight up.

forget the ring thing if your not married.

forget the phone thing that gig is sooo lame and it takes your attention away from the game. and most folks awareness is for crap anyway just what you need something distracting you even more.

I mean those things are all bull s anyway and they make you look like a self absorbed nitwit. I mean who really needs to be tittering away all night and day on their phone ? esp when your supposed to be on the game? I realize your friend are important to you but are you so lame you cant go with out constant support all the time?

the best thing it to be kind but business like. if the guys are there to have fun let them. part of your JOB here is to let the fish have some fun and spew off some funds. encourage it somewhat.

if they get out of line just say something like "hey dude Im here to play cards so if your looking to get lucky the night club is that-a-way------>

any guy worth his salt will probably get a kick out of that remark and your stock will go way up.

any one that gets all messed up over a beat (unless there are genuinely pissed at their own play) has got the tilt monster. So don't take anything they say too seriously. but verbal abuse shouldn't be tolerated

Timmer if you're refering to the comment I made I said look at your phone quickly, I never said to text or have a conversation with anyone. I'm pretty sure I can still pay attention to the game if I glance at my phone once in a while.

I also don't see how my example is unfriendly?

I understand you are a guy and may not understand this but when guys get complimented by girls and are
given positive attention its welcomed. Girls on average are so used to the incessant flirting and attention at the tables it can become quite irritating after a while so there are different mechanisms you can use to deal with it which I think is the point of this thread.

For the record I'm really chatty and love to talk so I'm one of the ones OP described in her post that uses whatever I can to my advantage. I'm just giving suggestions for the girls who can't be bothered to do that song and dance.

I appreciate your frankness and your POV but I don't buy for a sec your assertion that girls dont LOVE all the attention but I can see where it might get to be a bit much coming from those whom it is not wished. believe me guys feel the same way. but neither will know if it isnt *said* especially the guys, who get immune to the cold shoulder and often dismiss it as chick weirdness or " I run away" games.

FYI: After years as a (lets say active) dater in the 80s and 90s and after having been in a long term monogamist relationship I got a fair idea of what make ladies tick. although I dont always follow the guidelines and like to push the envelope myself.( its funner ) you might have guessed I have experienced my fair share of MEOW moments. what I am telling you girls what works. and what works is being straight forward. If you can do that with out seeming bitchy (I can say that right?) you've done it right.

sorry but the phone thing just puts off the inevitable and the ring thing is just a lame dodge.

At the same time you cannot generalize all women into one category. While I am sure you feel like you have a "grasp" how a woman thinks and feels until you walked in our shoes(heels) you really cannot comment on this.

lol at a ring on the finger making men stop asking questions....

And I like attention, but also agree sometimes it's obnoxious. TBH, I find it +EV, so I tolerate it.

I don't see why this has to be a gender specific issue. Strangers talk to me at the table when I don't want them to. Granted, probably not as much as they would if I wore perfume and had DD's. But the solution is the same.

The best way to stop friendliness is to be UN-friendly.

Next time your neighbor is being obnoxious, try these:

1) He talks to you, and you just stare straight ahead for a few seconds. Then slowly turn, stare him dead in the eyes for a second or two, then say "I'm sorry, I don't speak English"

2) Relentlessly berate his play. "You called me with A6off? What do you think I'm raising with under-the-gun? Or if the villain check/calls you on every street and then and puts in a big bet on a board of 68J9T or something like that. Just fold and then say "Jesus man, play better. I'm not gonna pay that off, so don't chase that one-card bull****!"

3) Purposefully and blatantly IGNORE what's being said to you. If some guy is chatting your ear off, turn in the other direction and ask someone else if they have the time, or know what tomorrow's weather will be.

But honestly, I don't see why you would do any of these things.

The simple fact is this; and it's not debateable.

There is no greater advantage in the civilized world than being a beautiful woman

That's it. If hot women realized just 1/10th of the power they have to manipulate men, us guys would have NO chance. So to show up at the table looking frumpy is like trying to play hold 'em with just one card.

I swear to god, if I could put on a mini-dress and heels and pull it off, you would ALL be calling me 'Supreme Ruler of the Universe' right now.

A burqa should do the trick

Rough life.

I find the attention is the greatest thing ever when you're running good and extremely annoying when you're losing

this pretty much sums it up imo

Interesting thread. I've actually found the opposite phenomenon equally annoying: that of females exaggerating their sexuality and trying to flirt in order to put me off / get a read. I welcome flirting generally, but this kind of strategic method is horrible imo.

I've found the best approach to stop them doing this is to go up to them, gently stroke their belly and whisper "mmm yes, yes... soon this will be plump with my seed". After that they stop and in fact are usually too afraid even to make eye contact. Works like a charm

Tough to take you seriously with your avatar.

Thanks a lot, I just shot coffee through my nose and all over my iPhone.

Couldn't help thinking how I would react to that; I'm sure my range is polarized:

If I was in a good mood, I would no doubt laugh hysterically to the point if embarrassing the guy who did this to me.

If I was on tilt, probably I would stoke his head and say "hmmm this brain will make a nice stew ." unless i was on mega tilt, in which case i would make sure he never had kids again.

Shauna

That is my child.



But yeah, I would have thought the absurd content of my post was good enough reason not to take my post seriously, but I guess the avatar is the ultimate credibility deal-breaker

No, but before coming into a woman's forum you might want to think to yourself next time how smart it would be to post when you have an avatar of a woman bouncing her tits up and down.