If she had married this clown he'd still be just a degenerate loser and I would still tell her to dump his ass.

He's not a professional poker player, he's a guy who is losing all your money gambling. Has he EVER contributed money through poker? Has he ever had a winning period where you thought "hey, he's turning this around and we are gonna be fine"? If not, he's just a degenerate. Every person who plays poker thinks they're good enough to beat the games so you can't trust him to tell you if he thinks he can win. He will do anything in order to play.

I don't see him being able to be 'saved.' Just dump him. Seriously.

lol @ "pledge your life to a man"

He spends $30 of money you lent for something else on weed/misc, and gets mad at you for buying $4 ice cream? I think your feelings are getting in the way of the truth that this guy is a leech and degenerate. As a poker playing BF (albeit not a professional player), I've never borrowed a dime from my GF for poker or pretty much anything really. If she wants to invest in buying my tournament action that's a different story as there's something to get out of it like anyone else who invests.

A poker player should has his/her own bankroll for poker and a life roll for day to day stuff/bills etc. If my roll was running low, I'd have to just sit out poker for a little and work to build my roll back up. Taking bill money and using it for gambling is just straight up degeneracy regardless of whether you're a winning player or not.

With his degenerate and abusive tendencies displayed here, the best thing you can do is get rid of this guy. He's not just gonna "make it". People are very disillusioned into thinking being a pro is easy. There's a reason probably 95% of people who want to play professionally fail (myself included). Difference is a decent person won't blow their life roll and leech money off their GF when things don't pan out, a degenerate will.

Lol at the gf having a 2p2 account and not the poker playing bf..


Honestly you need to tell him he's on his own. He clearly doesnt take the game seriously when he's freerolling off of someone else's seemingly unlimited bankroll. Ask him each week what he is doing to improve his poker game besides playing and losing. He probably wont have a response since it seems like he isnt actually taking the game seriously. He will never be a winning player if he continues to play like this and you will just keep losing your hard earned money. Stop it. Make him save his own bankroll to play with, you dont owe him anything. Like everyone else said, he is a gambling addict and not a poker player.

Lol he is a sick degen.My advice would be to break up with him asap imo
gl

As already stated numerous times, your boyfriend is a degenerate gambler. A "Poker Player" is someone who consistently brings in profit month after month (although occasion losing months can happen), year after year. If you really want to learn about how a professional poker player conducts him/herself look up some videos and articles on proper bankroll management and controlling emotions.

Also, you get to decide how to spend your money. It's yours, you worked for it, you earned it. If he or anyone else convinces you otherwise than you deserve to be taken advantage of in my opinion. I would cut your losses along with him out of your life as soon as possible.

I was a professional poker player for years, did very well. Before that I worked in a fast food restaurant and my family had nothing and I had nothing. The total amount of money I borrowed from other people to fund poker play was $0.

No good poker player has ever asked me for a loan. Every poker player that has, got a no, then got the money from someone else, and never paid it back.

This idea that the poker lifestyle means sometimes you go back to $0 and it's inevitable, that's just a total fallacy. I never had more than 1% of my total net worth in play at one time (not exaggerating), and it was the same for almost every professional I knew. We managed our money in a way that literally guaranteed we could never go broke and would never be late on a bill, because that's part (probably the biggest part) of what it takes and what it means to be a professional.

Your boyfriend isn't a professional poker player, he's just a gambling addict. To be fair to him, he probably does believe he's good (he isn't), he probably does believe he'll win it all back (he won't), and those innocent delusions might be the only reason he's so willing to take money from you.

So he's not necessarily taking advantage of you, at least not knowingly. But his condition is likely so toxic that you might be better off getting him out of your life regardless. Kicking toxic people out of your life with no regard for their feelings is one of the most valuable skills a person can have.

hey!!! hey!!!!! over here. im single!!!! and i beat the game and got a job.

Your bf is not a poker player, he's a gambling addict. You deserve better, dumping him is difficult but if you can do it, it's by far the best solution for you.

Tell your bf that you are not in the poker staking business and that if he was a capable player serious about making poker his career he would seek staking from one of the many groups out there who do this as their business.

Direct your bf here: http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/13...eeking-stakes/
and see what his reaction is. If he is encouraged by it, good.. If not then you probably have the answer you are trying to find.

Pokergfnyc,
This is not an uncommon stage in the development of a Professional Poker Player. Just hang in there, he will work through it.

Hey,

I think if poker is truly the passion of you bf he should have a more professional approach to the game.

I would advise he doesn't spend his last few quid on weed.

It appears from his constant need to be lent money that he is at best a break even player at the moment.

I would advice him that next time he wants to spend 300£ on a live tournament+ hotels to consider the practicalities of being a live grinder. Spending 300£ a time for an mtt is nothing more than a "shot". This is not how a poker player makes a living. They make a living form many (relatively small) investments in a manner which minimises the risk of going broke.

Taking continual shots is a disaster waiting to happen. Also from a psychology point of view when a shot doesn't pay off it will have terrible emotional consequences.

He needs to learn about bankroll management so he can keep his venture afloat. But this will be futile if he is not a winning player.

I think he could benefit from investing some money in poker coaching if this is indeed his dream. I think getting coaching is the most likely way that he will ever be able to pay his way in your relationship. He needs to think of poker as a business. How can he improve his business? He must be proactive.

Getting a real job is an option of course but I do not want to sound like a hypocrite as it has been a while since I have had a real job.

I wish you both the best of luck and all happiness in the future.

Pete

I agreed with the entirety of your post, but this last bit is a bit stingy!

I think it is human nature to consider peoples feelings, especially feelings to your loved one.

No, its not. And no, he wont. He is not doing anything productive to advance his professionalism. He is not putting in the actual work of becoming professional and playing for profit. He is just a losing player that continues to squander money.

I hope OP keeps us updates with the situation.

There is a very real chance that the guy might need some help with his possible/probable addiction.

It has been highly reported lately about the destructiveness of gambling and how it can be as dangerous as alcohol and drug addictions. An important point being how it affects others around them.

This is a sad story

Don't dump him, but let him prove to you that he loves you for you and not your endless supply of gambling funds. Stop feeding his habit. It will cost you less money to just continue paying all the bills while he searches for a job in the meantime. And if he reacts adversely to that it seems he loves being a degenerate more than he loves you and that's unfortunate. If he really cares about your feelings he will respect your decision. Good luck.

Judging by the name of the account you replied to being "fantasy answer", I'd say pretty big chance you got leveled.

was responding on my phone.. didnt look at username or post count er anything

just trying to be helpful itt.. but it seems the op disappeared

Your bf does not make money at poker and shouldn't play. You are crazy for giving him money when he is obviously a losing player and does not win. Once you stop paying for his tournies and horrible gambling habits you'll see how much he loves you.

Just read first post...wow. Seriously, he is a loser. Better open your eyes fast.

I guess if you've read through all of this you should know by now that your bf is being downright exploitive.

First of all, if he really loved you he wouldn't make you feel guilty for not lending him money. If he care about you one bit he'd make things right (and not just try, but DO!). The guy you're with doesn't care AT ALL about your well-being. If he did he'd simply stop asking for money. It's not like he needs any, look - BOTH of you can live off of your income alone!
The guy is so full of himself, he doesn't even realize that. Instead he does everything he can to drive you nuts.

Now what you do with this is completely up to you. I'm gonna tell you what I'd do though.
I'd start thinking about my own well-being. Dump him, even if it pains deeply.

There are plenty of actually good guys out there who'd love to be with you. Judging from your story you are a very supportive person.
I hope you realize that you deserve a strong, stable man who treats you appropriately.

Keep that nasty bug away from you.
If you realize you deserve a better guy, you will find one.

Good luck in life

What everyone else said. He is not a poker player, he is a degen. He does not love you, he is using you.

In the words of Dan Savage, DTMFA. Or just cut him off financially and then you'll see how much he loves you (he doesn't).

The end.

I know professional poker players, recreational players and complete degenerates.

People who feed their additiction by imposing on others who care for them are the worst. The professionals that I know are people who have been playing for years and actually file as professionals, pay taxes and do not violate the trust of others. The recreational players that I know are all over the map in terms of retired, professionals (non-gamblers) and play occassionally for both social and entertainment purposes. The degenerates that I know are exactly like your bf - they may get lucky on occassion but mostly they accumulate debt, tell sob stories to people who care about them and they DEPEND upon the charity of others in order to sustain some kind of existence. More often than not, they will take as much as they possibly can until they have either bankrupted others or until people stop indulging the degenerate fantasy.

Sweetie, get out NOW. Do NOT let him near anything of value and BEWARE of the 'good' times because they are extremely short lived. Degenerate gamblers do not change in time especially when indulged by those willing to support them.

There are plenty of decent guys out there. The fact that your bf has no respect for working, for your being able to provide and treating you like **** is a HUGE RED FLAG. Take a stand and cut your losses; run as fast as you can and don't look back.

Enablers never feel like the enabled are using them -- they always feel as if they are genuinely helping the person.

Until you realize that he's a user and you're enabling him, any advice anyone spends the time to give you will go to waste because you will just make up more excuses for the guy. :-/

I remember an exercise from the author Barbara De Angelis of 'What Women Want Men to Know'. She talked about how we often attract either the opposite of what we are looking for, or the very things we are most insecure about.

She suggests to create a 'wanted ad' like a job posting in the newspaper, to help reflect to you what you really value in a partner. Its a good exercise to help you be honest to yourself, we should all admit we have insecurities and weaknesses especially in this regard. It also is probably tougher for you to admit since you seem like you are such a strong independent woman in the career and financial area of your life. I'll help you with an example of how I see your situation now.

Now write your own ad of what you would really like form a partner. Its a good point solid foundation to start from.

I lent a mutual girl friend my jacket in the rain on a cold walk home one time with a group of people. It was really cold and typically (stereo type?) was very under dressed and visibly cold, but of course none of the guys she really knew noticed. When we got to our destination I asked if she still needed the jacket and she threw it back at me and said "AS IF!!!"

What sucks is you are probably a 10/10.