Confirmed Busto. I heard pics of OP EAD under a bridge for buy-ins are coming.

Thanks for rubbing it in, yes I am in fact busto... I took shots at the higher games not being properly rolled and lost it all at the 500 nl game.* They slaughtered me, one guy in particular with a Fedora hat, grayish hat, spoke like an old dick, he stacked me twice within a 5 hour period.*funny thing is I think his name was dick.

A hand that I remember losing from a while back, I had tp with fd, was comfortable getting it in heads up on the flop for 1k+, and of course I'm up against a set, I river the flush but the house is completed as well. Dead dead. There are lots more situations, but in all honesty, I felt I was outplayed at every corner. I diluded myself into thinking that I was running bad, or that the shuffle system was rigged.* When I finally reached the conclusion that it was my own skill, my own doing, I fell into a deep dark depression.* I fell into binge drinking. I have no support network here, so I was doing a lot of drinking alone.* Then I started smoking weed again, and fell into some heroin.* I mean a lot of heroin.* When i was a kid, i told myself i would not go beyong anyhing more than weed.. at first it was great, kind of a stress reliever. Then the drugs got me into a mode of super dark thinking, thinking that I was worth nothing, that I had no value in this world, almost that I was better off dead. It brought me to the conclusion that life is a lot like poker, the people around me, the people that I meet are all out to get me, they are all selfish and want to destroy anything that gets in their way. It's not that human decency is dead, it was never real in the first place.* Whether you believe this about humanity or not, the point is that thinking that way makes the quality of your life so much worse.*

My depression stemmed from being a loser in poker, being financially unstable, and not providing any value for anyone.

I was in a really bad place for months. But then I randomly met a girl, a student that is 19 years old.* We talked for hours the first night we met. Her name is Emma. We smoked pot together, (it was her second time doing so) and I ended up opening up to her about everything, my faults, my opinions of the world, my past relationships. * I've honestly never had trouble meeting and dating women.* It might have been bc I was high for the entirety of 2 weeks, but this girl seems like the only person in this entire world that understands me, and that's what depression truly stems from, the feeling of no one in the world understanding you. * She wants to study medicine and has ambitions.* I feel like she will help me out of this rut of drug and alcohol abuse and help me move on with my life again. Because of her, I've actually taken steps to see the doctor about my substance addictions and depression.

tl;dr bad at poker
depressed, broke, addiction,
Fuxking a hot 19 yr old girl

The beauty of the internet is that we are not here to judge you. Honestly trolls can EAD, because as cliché as it sounds... No one is perfect. You already analyzed the problem/situation, have a course of action to resolve it, and nothing can beat a gal in your corner that correlates with your ideals and is ready to grow with you.

GL and happy holidays man.

Thanks for your input Wayne, it means a lot. A friend of mine from back home is flying in tonight to hang out for the weekend, it'll be a good change of pace to have a couple people in my life to be a support network for me. He's a good guy friend of mine whom I met in college and played cards together, and even for a short stint of time worked together professionally. I've usually had good luck grinding with him, the last time I saw him he even hit a high hand of $400 we agreed to chop at a micro casino near Seattle. Gonna pick him up from LAX in about 4 hours, kind of getting an itch to play at the Hollywood Parx casino nearby afterwards. Gf said that she could loan or even give me some of her (university) allowance money if I ever needed. I was thinking to buy her a nice watch for Christmas. Should I try to run it up tonight so I could afford to get her something nice for the holidays?

Tx for sharing your story krab best of luck to u

don't ever ever ever borrow your gf money if you like her

Ya, man but you don't want to lose on some flukey bull**** before the holidays.

Get her something nice but DO NOT SPEND HER CASH ON GAMBLING!

Show her that you are ready to have more stability before trying to run it up.

That is unless you are ready to hit that go straight degenerate button and put it all on 1 hand or blackjack! Gambo Gambo Bayybeee!

jesus ****ing christ, no. Don't ever use her money for gambling unless you hate her

So I didn't end up using her money. So me and my friend did end up going to Chinatown, ate dry pot Chinese food for the first time in my life, got a massage, and then gambol at the commerce. He had never seen a cardroom so large, so he was taken back with the novelty. I introduced Emma, but I didn’t end up using any of her money bc instead my buddy lent me some cash to play with. We only ended up playing the $1/$2 blinds $40 buy in game, just for the lolz, first time playing at this casino, my friend cashed up around 200 from playing non spectacular poker and hitting cards. Beginners luck? I was down a $40 buy in, rebought for $60, busted to my the same friend that lent me the money sitting directly to the left of me, my final hand played out like this:

Hero ($34) UTG limp with AK off
Friend ($100) directly to my left, also limp
Villain ($45) limp late position
V2 ($55) on button raises to 7,
Hero and Friend call, Villain folds.

Pot is 22ish

flop comes K54 rainbow.
Hero checks w/intention to C/R
Friend checks
V2 bets 12

Hero shoves for $32 total
Friend calls $32
V2 folds

Turn and River insignificant, Friend turns over flopped set of 555 for a set against my tptk. Don’t think there is anything I could have done differently since I was short stacked.

Aside from the poker, We did a bunch of sightseeing and good eating. Went to the planetarium, walk of fame, and a nightclub while he was here. I’m glad he was able to see me in this stage of my life where I’m at least a little bit cleaned up. I mean, we smoked a bunch of pot together, but at least no heroin. I’ll post pictures as soon as I can get to an actual computer.

On a sidenote, Am I the only one who does this when High? write myself notes for sober me to see, such as “don’t do drugs anymore, you’re ruining your life?”

is a good drug bender reminder...

Limping AK utg is fine if you have the intention of 3b but limp calling a raise 16bb deep? What are you waiting for JJ+? Easy ship pre. Even if V2 has a pair the $ in the pot pays for the flip and your friend could make the mistake of folding especially because his range is capped.

Best of luck.


Zy

Always raise pre with AK, limp calling is passive which not the optimal line. Play well!

hey man, been reading the entire thread and it very much reminded me of my own past. i have been playing poker for a while, winning some money online and some live. no sample size though, just running well.

these good sessions made the fish in me believe that i was actually a good player and that i could make money playing poker. well.. i couldn´t and started losing quite a bit.
After millions of hands online and tousands of hours playing live consistently winning and studying the game a lot im here reading your thread and i don´t mean to be rude: but you you seem to picture yourself way better then you actually are. some of these hands are just aweful and you won´t even see many NL2 player, playing this low level poker ( ive seen you post about "real stakes"..well you shouldnt play them just yet ). yes you can even argue about the KK hand ( i think its obv you should 3bet pre but ok ), but for example the K2 hand earlier rly shows that you are far off being a winning player at any stakes.

my advice: find an online site and start with NL2. play 500k hands, read threads and hand discusions on here, read poker books, think about the game a lot and THEN after you have saved up maybe 10k: go back playing NL200 and see how this goes.

All the best and happy holidays!

Trust your gut

You got 17 bigs and youre trying to see a multiway flop with ako?

After reading that hand history I'm gonna repeat this but in caps: DON'T EVER USE YOUR GFs MONEY FOR ANY SORT OF GAMBLING.

Also, you're nowhere near close to being good enough for "pro" poker. You'll probably ignore this advice too just like all the advice that could've prevented you form going busto in the first place but it's worth saying anyway.

GW_hunting above gives some really solid advice.

Best of luck.

Haven't used her money as of yet, and I will try to keep it that way. But I can't talk in absolutes, bc I know the degen in me is capable of doing it if I get desperate.

As for starting at 2 nl online, I've done it before. Bought for about 80 bucks, went busto bc of impatience and not making enough, moving up stakes. IMHO, online micros are even harder of a game than 1/2 or 3/5 live. It's too slow, and any loss of money does not faze me, so I end up playing even worse.


Anyways guys, have a merry Christmas. Hope you had a better run than I did this year, poker and lifewise. Cherish what you have, bc ***** can't last forever.

merry christmas! I get what you're saying about online micros (except that it moves slow, that's super weird to hear from a live player. do you mean grinding it takes too long?) but that's part of the problem: it's not a winning mindset at poker, rather it's more of a "degen" mindset. If you're ever going to be serious about playing poker for a living, you're gonna have to adapt.

Subbed. Gl op, hope you really focus on making good choices and turning your life around. Are you currently working again?

I don't want to kick you while you are down, but this tale is the fear of every parent when they are told, "I am going to play poker for a living".

Good luck and try to turn it around. If you ever see me at Commerce say hi.

This

Also if you're limpcalling AK with 17bb you're not ready to play poker for a living even life poker. Get a job, invest in a subscription to a coaching site and maybe when you have some more experience. You'll know when you're ready to turn pro and it's not when you have 10bi for 1/2 live

First session of the new year! Its friday night and I have 400 dollars in my pocket, so 2 shots at the 3/5 game. I'm hoping to not have to use a second buy. I'll be in a black hat, look for me, wish me luck!

Details of session to come afterwards!!
Gogogogogogogogo!!!

How did it go?

busto

Not busto, as of right now I have money to live off of, a roof over my head as I am helping pay a little rent living in my gfs room. My BR is in the low 4 figures, so I don't have much room to swing.

I had a few hands I wanted to talk thru throughout the month, vent a little from my card deadness and suckouts. I've written them down so maybe I'll get to them later.

In summary my month went like this by session: -200 -200 +110 -300 +180 -600 (super bad suckout for 700 pot, I had middle set against TP runner runner straight) + 195 +59. So not down too much, but I was expecting a positive month, even though January is typically a dry month for players overall.

I had a few fights with the gf, and she's been a bit distant. So right now I can't swing too hard on my BR, and I got a lot to talk thru with her.

I'm planning on playing more hours in Feb. my birthday is coming up this month so I hope a huge run good is coming my way.