I chronicled my rather colorful past in a previous thread. I used to play fulltime but never went anywhere due to my lifestyle habits that turned into addictions. As a result of that, I found myself in various kinds of trouble - financially, legally, and physically. I want this thread to be a daily (as often as possible) journal. I will concentrate on poker primarily, but include fitness and my overall mental health.

Short Poker Bio:
I started playing earlier this year after depositing $500 onto a site. I was working fulltime as a chef but managed to get hands in during my off hours. In April, I tore my ACL and had surgery, which gave me the opportunity to try playing fulltime again. I never went back to my job. I'll include a shot of my stats since part of June. Its missing exactly 3.6k in profits because of problems I've had with my site's hand histories. I want to hold myself accountable, so I will include my daily progress via a screenshot of my HEM stats for the day. I don't have monetary goals for the year but may include them down the road.



Poker Goals:

A) Be accountable and focused while playing. I have the tendency to go into autopilot and just play a bunch of hands. During these times I don't play my A game and am cruising mentally. I am not thinking things through, I'm dicking around browsing, I'm skyping, I'm watching youtube videos - I'm not playing like I should be. I believe this is a side effect of a major personality defect of mine, which is the tendency to not focus completely on the task at hand and to let my mind wander. I have read and subsequently really gotten into the "The Power of Now" type-thinking (and self-improvement through its implementation), and I want to stay present while playing.

B) I want to take more time with decisions. When I go into autopilot mode I fast click and don't think decisions through.

C) Eliminate Tilt. I go on monkey tilt when things aren't going well. It always goes hand in hand when I'm not on my A mental game. I am by nature an impulsive person with anger that comes out strongly. I want to completely eliminate this from how I act.

Fitness Goals:
By the end of August, I want to be in great shape. I am already in good shape, but I want to lose around 5% bodyfat (currently 12%) and increase muscle size, definition, and symmetry. I want to chronicle my daily workout routine and do a quick synopsis of how well I eat each day.

Tools I Want to Implement

A) Session Review and marking hands: I want to include a few hands/day in the thread.

B) Implement a No Distraction Rule. Constantly reminding myself that I'm lucky enough to have this as my job, and to constantly keep in mind that the effort I put into this is the determining factor for success.

C) Player note more often. I used to be always playernoting, and it showed in my winrate. I have slacked off, and want to start doing it constantly once again.

Daily General Wellness:

A) Meditation: 10 minutes each morning, to increase as I get better at it.

B) Yoga: Start with 1 session a week.

C) Therapy: I talk to a therapist once a week, for one hour.

D) Lifting: I work out every day. I focus on 1 or 2 body parts per day, and use a superset system I've found to the most efficient way to attain my goals.

E) This Thread: I have what's been diagnosed as generalized anxiety disorder (which I've dealt with since I was a kid) and mild PTSD due to the extreme stress I placed on my brain during the "bad years". I have been able to make great strides with these things due to the work I've put into getting better. I want to continue to do this. However, IMO the life of an online poker player, if not done correctly, can be the least conducive environment for treating and eventually eliminating the symptoms of these issues. I strongly believe that I can overcome my issues through strict adherence to an all-encompassing wellness plan that I have slowly been implementing into my life over the last 2 years. I also STRONGLY believe (contrary to what many would think) that as a motivated person, one can make life as an online poker player the perfect enviroment to incorporate a wellness plan and prove how discipline and planning can truly improve one's overall quality of life, and in turn directly improve one's poker performance.

In closing, I am excited to do this thread as a tool to help motivate myself. I think that it will help me greatly in that it will make me more responsible, and by putting my results and goals on paper I will be forced to hold myself accountable for how I play and live my life on a daily basis.

Any feedback/support will be fully appreciated, and I will answer any questions. Thanks!

good luck, ill follow. are you in usa playing on usa sites?

Thanks! Yes and yes

you don't need to lose weight if you are 12% bodyfat, 7% is the bf % of a contest day bodybuilder or an elite lvl sprinter on race day. thats not necessary for walking around, nor healthy/sustainable.

5-6 should be stage ready. but I guess 8-9% is easily sustainable in a healthy manner as a lifestyle.

Sent from my GT-I9100 using 2+2 Forums

K I'll say like 10%. Didn't do proper research when I threw that number out there.

Subbed, nice first post. GL for your journey!

I just don't think you need to lose weight when you are 12% it seems like a fruitless activity if you are doing it for aesthetics.

Yes you will look shredded on single digit bodyfat but a, thats hard to maintain and b unless you are on gear or an advanced athelete you will not like the way you look on single digit bodyfat

imo 12% is in great shape already body composition wise, maybe you should set some other fitness goal

I'll stop derailing your poker blog lol, I just don't like the body dismorphia of some modern males, you dont' need to look super shredded all the time its not healthy, and you are not fat if you can't see striations

ty panda!

GL buddy.

crushcrushcrush

7/20/2014

POKER

First day more or less in the books. Going to play a nighttime session later on.

Played well both sessions, and I already see the benefit of having started this blog. It helped to keep me focused during my sessions, as I feel like I'm being held accountable by posting my results.



Overall, I was happy with my mental state all day. I was even-keeled and made good decisions.

I want to be posting hands but Pokerhand is giving me problems at the moment.

WELLNESS

I meditated for 10 minutes this morning. I biked to and from the gym, and will go for a walk now for an hour.

Workout: Chest/Abs
3x10-12 Flat Bench
3x10 Incline Bench
3x10 Incline Dumbbell Press
3x12 Machine Flys/3 sets of Closegrip Pushups
Various Ab exercises

I took this pic today; it will be my "before" pic. Then I'll take at the end of August, and compare and see if I've made the progress I wanted to make.

very nice results. good to see that the thread is keeping you motivated and in the zone! quick question, how many tables do you play at a time? i see the first session was 140 minutes and you was able to play 2k hands. Also, what database do you use (pt4 hm2)? i seen where u said you are having trouble posting hands. if you use holdem manager 1 or 2 i could help

I play from 6-14 tables.

I use HM2; I was having trouble because the site I use to post hands was down. Thanks anyways thuogh

GL man! Are you being staked or playing on your own? What sites do u play on? Bovada/ACR??

GL subbed

In.

I always like the Mental Game aspect that seems to be involved in Skraper & friends PGC's.

I find it very valuable and wish you success!

run 5km 3 times a week and drink 2 coffee a day and maintaining 8-9% BF is QUITE easy without dieting. Just by avoiding over eating too often and being reasonable with your portions. Thought the same as you before and that worked for me.

7/21/2014

Thanks to everyone who subbed and wished me luck! I really appreciate it.

Hey guys do me a favor and drop the bodyfat topic. I said I made a mistake by throwing out a number. I don't know what number exactly I am shooting for. At different times in my life I've had what you would call a classic shredded look, all of my abs showing. That's what I'm shooting for. I will measure my bodyfat when I'm there.



POKER

I played 2 sessions, one in the afternoon that went well and one in the evening that went badly. I was going to put in another one later on and do my journal entry, but was tired and not motivated after having a bad session.

I am fairly happy with how I played throughout both sessions. I did make some tilted decisions at the end of the second session, but they were minor and were as I was getting off the tables. I am still struggling with and am making overcoming tilt my #1 goal.

I went over my session and found that I was doing more 3betting than usual, and I already have a high 3bet; I find I do this when I'm overconfident. It got me into some marginal 2nd pair situations that I am looking to avoid. Today I will focus on each preflop decision and make sure I'm not getting 3bet happy.

I also am going to read some of the Mental Game of Poker tonight. Its a book that I should have at the top of my reading list, but it fell off because I got into another unrelated poker book.

WELLNESS

I went to an AA meeting in the morning. I have a hard time figuring how much of a role AA should play in my life. I don't know if I could have managed to stay sober without it; the camaraderie and support you find in the rooms of support groups is unparalleled. When I was first getting things figured out, I simply didn't have friends who didn't drink/party. Finding a place where I found people who had problems like mine was crucial. That being said, I'm not on board with the religiosity of AA and also not on board with listening to people who come in and use it as their personal therapy session and complain about their daily issues. A lot of AA members don't agree with my views obviously. In the end, I suppose it's a good reminder of where I came from, I can be of some service to others who are struggling, and I inevitably hear something inspiring or helpful. 1x a week is good.

I went to a yoga class in the afternoon. I think I am going to make yoga more of a part of things than I originally intended. I am not going to make predictions I'm not sure I can follow through on, but I have always had problems with flexibility and that coupled with the mental clarity I feel after a class is motivating me to think that 3x a week would be really beneficial. We'll see.

WORKOUT: LEGS
3x10 Single Leg Machine Press
3x12 Cable Kickbacks
3x15 Weighted Lower Back Hyperextensions
3x12 Single Leg Hamstring Curl
3x10-12 Glute Machine Press

I woke up, drank coffee, and went to my AA meeting instead of meditating first. I justified it by saying I would do it later; I didn't. Today I will meditate for 10 minutes.

COFFEE
I have managed to kick addictions to alcohol, cocaine, cigarettes, and diet coke. I have one remaining vice, and that is coffee. I make one pot of french-pressed Organic Peruvian Coffee in the morning, and one in the afternoon. I am most definitely addicted; its also something I really enjoy. I wanted to mention it here because sometimes it makes me anxious and I definitely want to curb my intake.

*I wanted to add that a lot of stuff I talk about, my thoughts on my AA meeting today for example, or my coffee "problem", - I'm including for journalistic purposes. I find it helpful to write out my thoughts, so I will use this as the place for it. Feedback is always appreciated. However, my primary purposes for this thread are and always will be 1) Poker and 2) General Wellness. I just might go off on tangents here and there.

*I am a big Movie/book/music/tv guy, so I will probably include my "picks" here. I watched most of The Lives of Others last night, entertaining so far. And I'm really digging this Sylvan Esso album.

Thanks sir! I play on my own. I play on US sites; I'd rather not mention exactly where.

Thanks man. Yeah, for me the two so clearly go hand in hand. Some people are lucky and maybe don't need such an emphasis, but I have big "C Game" issues and mental game is absolutely the difference between me being a 5ptbb winner and me breaking even.

The religion thing is also my problem with AA, if you live in a large enough city there are groups similiar to AA without the preachy aspect and likely have people more similar to your interests

IN GL SEE YOU AT THE TABLES!

^this, I don't recall the name of the group I spent time with some 10 odd years ago but it was completely void of any religious feel even though it met in a room/lounge at a church. If your therapist specializes in addictions she/he should be able to help you find a group that better suits you.

gl man, a fellow degen with ACL surgery in the past pulling for ya ...

if you have flexibility problems why are you training legs like an obese girl on her phone?

Those machines are the death of flexibility. Do some lunges/bw squats on bosu/smith machine box squats/straight leg deadlifts with the bar put a bit under your knees and work on the lower part stretch.