I'm a new member of 2+2 and I just felt the need to express myself somewhere and my friend recommended this place. This will be the topic where I will try to make my way back up and regroup myself.
Something about me. I am mostly very disciplined poker professional, but I get sometimes out of control. Usually when I lose alot I start doing dumb ****. I think alot of players have these issues, and me, I do the stupidest things you could ever imagine. This kind of behaviour has costed me hundreds of thousands dollars.
Cliffs: Lost ~320,000$ playing party casino
, I was a bit bored and tried to test out the party casino software. All went well and disciplined, I was doing 30€ spins and had 3000€ stoploss. I was very lucky and end up cashing out 12000€ profit. After this I went to a one week vacation trip abroad.
. I just got back from vacation, first day I lost 63,000$ playing poker. I played a regular on higher limits than I usually play and I thought I had an edge. I looked at my balance and I had remainings of 12000€, almost the exact amount I end up winning from casino last time and I thought, "hell why not, its a freeroll anyways". So I opened partycasino "Melon madness" where they have 3Million euros to win if you hit the jackpot. I clicked on the maxbet of 450€ per spin and after few rounds I got very lucky winning total of 77,000€. I was very fortunate and excited getting everything back I lost in poker from casino. I went to sleep.
. I had keep playing on the partycasino almost everyday, and got more and more addicted day by day, but using smaller bets around 30€-60€ per spin. There was an ongoing promotion where you could win 2000$ bonus money if you end up in top five. These promotions usually took few days and then a new similiar promotion started. If you finished top five three times in all promotions you would get 5000$ cash. I already finished in one promotion top five, so I decided to give it to a shot to do it once more. At this point of time I had around 105,000€ on my account. I thought I had found the strategy to beat casino. After few hours of spinnings I was losing money and had 88,000€ remaining on my account. I never had a losing streak like this before, so I felt more and more addicted spin by spin, I thought I have to make a big win soon, so I decided to slowly up my bet from 60€ to 150€ to 300€ and finally to max bet 450€. The big hit didn't come, my account reached a pity 0,00€. I was busto on my partycasino account. At this point of time I didn't think, it was all a freeroll, it was more like I felt losing 105,000€s. I thought, If I deposited I could have a chance to win it all back. I said to myself "The big hit has to come soon, it has to!! I lost so much money I never have before" So I went on my moneybookers, deposited 7000€ busted, then another 7000€, busted, then 6000€ more and I have reached my account limits. I prayed to my friend to send me 3000€ and he did, busted that in less than a minute. Then I took my credit card, deposited 4000€, busted, and then I only had one more more go, since all my transaction limits were exceeded and I could deposit only once more 3999€. And then BINGO! THE BIG HIT!!! I Win 65000€!!!! I was up from casino once again, got all my deposits back and some more. I was very fortunate and told myself to never play casino again. I went to sleep having a large smile on my face.
I won the 2nd promotion aswell, partycasino called me I haven't play for a few days, and if I finish top 5 in last promotion I will get the 2000$ bonus aswell with 5000$ cash. I told them to **** off. I'm not going to do this again, I'm going to hit and run with this what I still have left.
I thought about their call last night, thought yeah, it makes sense. That is like 7000$ up for grabs, I have to do it. Maybe few spins yeah? So I went on roll again, started spin the machine for hours and end up dropping to 20,000€ with max bets, then I got lucky once again and hit big to reach 105,000€ total. This making me somewhere around 80,000-85,000€ up total with the deposits. Now I was #1 in promotion and thought I don't need any more spins to make it top five. I proceeded maximum cashout of 70,000€ and went to sleep with peaceful mind, thinking my casino career retardations are finally over.
I wake up and look at the leaderboard, to my surprise I see I have dropped to 7th place. I'm like ****, I didn't feel too good. This can't be the best thing happening to me right now, can it??. I HAVE TO SPIN AGAIN. I AM ADDICTED. Spin after spin I see my account decreasing, from controlled 30€ bets I go up again to 60€...150€....300€... and finally max bet 450€. I don't see any luck and I just kept on losing. My pre-session balance of 35,000€ hit 0€ and I still was up around 40,000€ total. But no way I can stop now. I am way too addicted, I must get my losses back. I HAVE TO. I go to cashier and click on the CANCEL cashout button. I receive 70,000€ more to play with. My balance keeps grinding down, after some time I look at it and see it hit the 30,000€ mark, realising I'm now breakeven with casino overall. Now it's just the deposits left I made earlier. I don't give a ****, I keep on spinning. Short time after balance hits 0€. Moneybookers had reseted and deleted my deposit limits. I look at my account, see around 50k € laying there. 7000€ by 7000€ I keep depositing more. I lose it all...
Now I'm down in casino 80,000€ from being up 105,000€ Also poker is down 63,000$ With a dollar rate I have grinded the money is around 1.4 and put this together my downfall is a total of 322,000$
. I am almost busto. Only money I have left now is in my bank, but I'm too tired and tilted to continue. I talk to my friends and tell what just happened. I told them I really need to clear my head somewhere and this was where I was linked to.
This was how many partypoints I was able to get during this casino period, also a kind of prove that it really did happen.
Uploaded with ImageShack.us
So what will happen now? I have 40,000€ in bank and I will deposit this money to several poker sites and start on grinding. I will probably wait until the new year before I start all of this. Need to have some time off to understand everything that has happened to me and make a start over. My goal is to win 500,000$ next year and I will keep this topic updated while the grind goes. I'm getting more and more motivated once the days go by to show you people I can make a comeback from being a total complete moron idiot
Thanks for the read and support, and thanks for letting me be here to clear my head out!!