Hi I have actually contemplated a few weeks now about whether or not to do a PG&C thread or not. Recently though I have had a downswing and I have not coped with it very well so I thought now is the time to go ahead and get this thread posted.
A brief introduction about myself
I'm 30 years old and play poker for a living. It's a really cool job to have but also a very stressful and lonely job too. Would I recommend it to other people to try? Probably not.
For the last year and a half 90% of my play has been at full ring and I have tried several times to make the transition to 6max because it's so tough to find high stakes full ring games these days. This is where most of my mental problems have came from.
I play a very solid low variance style at full ring and grind out a decent winrate there but when I play 6max the swings are just crazy in comparison. Half an hour into a session you can be down 8+ buyins and that's "totally standard" apparently.
I'm sure it is but I don't react well and find myself either spewing a bit or going in the huff with the game and stop playing for days/weeks at a time which is really pathetic for someone who claims to be a professional poker player. As I type I have not played poker in over a week and have made excuse after excuse to try and avoid loading the tables up because I'm on a $5k downswing and have no motivation to play.
I have loaded HEM up to try and do some hand history reviews but I find myself automatically going to the pots where I have ran bad and start feeling crap again and quitting that after 5mins.
Here are some graphs and stuff.
You might look at these and think to yourself wtf is he moaning about? But this is 300k hands since October 2011 when I started my new database. I look at some of the other grinders playing the same games as me and they play 100k hands a month and have the big winning 10k and 15k months that I can only dream of this now.
I could put in the same volume if I could just get over my mental blocks so in short, this **** needs sorted if I'm to have a future in the game.
So what are my goals?
I have downloaded Jared Tendlers ebook "The Mental Game of Poker" and I intend to listen to this when I am away on holiday for a couple of weeks on Monday. He is very well respected in the poker community and I should have utilised his material way before now so I'm hoping that this helps.
I also have the deuces cracked series by Tommy Angelo to watch when I am away as that also comes recommended very highly.
I don't do any fitness exercise at the moment either and I understand that exercise helps you keep a clear mind so I play on starting to run once a day when I come back from my holiday.
I am also going to set myself volume targets when I get back and gradually increase them each month if I feel my mindset is getting better.
What do I hope to achieve with this thread?
Interesting question. I'm not really sure. I'm kind of hoping that it acts as a bit of motivation for me. I hate losing/failing and would hate to see the thread start out full of promise and goals and for me to fail. I guess this thread could be a driving force so to speak.
I also hope that other players who are also struggling with their mental game and find that it is holding them back take something useful from this thread and we can bounce ideas of each other.
I won't really use this thread for discussing poker hands but more so for posting the way I'm feeling after a bad beat or after a bad session or when I I tilt shut all my tables and even positive things like when I have a good session.
I'm going to try and type my feelings in the immediate aftermath of these events occurring so that I can see my raw feelings on paper and this will give me a more honest way of looking at them and finding a solution to them.
I hope that you don't see this thread as me just moaning about bad beats. It's not my intention to do that and my backer and friends will sigh and tell you that they take most of my run bad moaning on skype. Identify and fix is the aim of the game here.
If you guys have any similar stories you would like to share then please do so and we can work together at getting our heads in the right place. I don't care if you are a 2nl grinder or a midstakes grinder your opinions and contributions are welcomed.
Thanks for reading.
Edit: Once the thread has got rolling (if it gets rolling) then I'm going to pm Jared Tendler and ask him if he can spare a few minutes to have a look and see if he can offer any advice as I think that would be kind of cool seeing as not everyone has the bankroll to pay for private sessions with him and he knows that so I have seen him post various bits and pieces before.