Sorry to hear the news. Like you say, live and learn. The past is the past, come to terms with it. Repair your relationship with your parents. You have your whole life ahead of you. With your life in order you can take your poker to a whole new level. Best of luck!

yea thanks for the support guys. Im still fighting here though. I put a 100 bucks online yesterday and have been playing a marathon session since grinding 6 max micros and am at like 600 now. I might just keep grinding online micros. Im not even using a hud. Im just 2 tabling and trying super hard lol

Sometimes this world gives you help in the most unsuspected ways...here's one I got last night...Ngoc, probably the biggest cash game winner in Vegas (outside Bobby's and Ivey room action ofc) and I have been seeing a lot more of each other. He always gives me **** and can tilt people with his mannerisms, but deep down, he's alright. Well, while grinding, we talked about our challenge this month (can either of us win over 40k this month) and what odds we should get. It's a way for me to put in extraordinary volume, which as you know, I hardly ever did that. Well, Ngoc made it clear to me that poker should be treated as a job. Here's a guy with over half a million in his box but he's still grinding the most out of any regular. He won over a 100k one session last year in Bobby's Room, and the very next day, he went and played 10/20. y? Because he doesn't let the money get to him, he just grinds all the time and knows the money will come.

This attitude is something I admire and intend on having myself. I've been booking a couple winners and already feel back in the groove. It's tough when you see your bankroll peak and know that your so far away from it, but who cares, it's all about the present moment and building up. Lately, I find myself playing poor late in sessions because I want to protect the win and it's amazing to me to see the mental battle that I delve in when I'm card dread for a couple orbits. I guess that too will pass, and it's a god sign I'm dreaming about poker again..reminds me that deep down I do this because I love this game, that's what got me and you into it, it wasn't about the money, it was about the thrill...and now look, your close to bust, but guess what? if you never went broke, it wouldn't be as fun as never having a downswing. Of course you want to grow out of that, but everyone learns their own way.
Quick tips: tighten the **** up early position...i don't wanna be hearin you playin hands like k6 once you get your cake up a bit more thru online...and if the relationship between your parents is rocky, use this time while in their crib to fix what has been lost..****, even though my mom and i don't understand each other either, most times, they are the only ones that truly got your back in the worst of ****. Gl bro, as for me, i'm off to the grind again for a long haul weekend..and right now, i wouldn't have it any other way. Deuces

Yea man thanks for the support again. Interesting story about Ngoc and his approach to the game. Im trying to develop a stronger mentality every day to help me in my stuggles with live poker. Also i have like 1100 online and i sold my volcanoe vaporizer yesterday (400$) which was sad. i cant withdraw from this site till the 12th so im going to keep grinding the 6max games for now. i havent even asked my friend for money yet and im not going to till i feel like im ready to really be a professional and mature. On another note i have been talking to the owner of one of the poker rooms i play in and he wants me to go to church with him on sunday. A bit weird but i think he has good intentions and im going to go with him. Ive never been a religious person but i do feel like any kind of hope or positive energy will be beneficial for me.

Also im not living with my parents yet and they dont even know that i went bust. I just no that they want me at their house preety badly but i rather not live there for personal reasons. My rents due at my apartment on the 24th. Also im ****ing killing it online. i got 1800 on my account and im going to go eat and play more all night. lol i have regs on this site switching seats just to have position on me. im here ramlbing at them for having such bad ethics. Only online you see that . friday night grind time

Having 3k with no job AND playing poker for a living is a recipe for disaster.

fixed .
I know im in bad shape trust me. I can go on a sick run and make 20k easy in a month if i just run really well. I have done it multiple times and i have hope. Obviously im trying to be extremely optimistic here and if i dont get something going before the 24th im going back to live with my parents. But i have been playing online heavy hours these past few days since my busto post and am feeling pretty confident at the moment. So confident ill stay.

i wish you luck man, and im in the same position as you (recently busto from pits) so i feel for you. Im getting a job for a couple months i suggest you do the same.

just gotta be patient and confident get a job and save up a larger roll if u have too,or maybe just take shots at nice tourneys to bink a cash game bankroll. I would say **** betonline and play on merge...i play on rpm and cashed out a check on 3/10 and it arrived 4/05 so not too bad for the wait time.....i might be able to stake u on some games on rpm sometime too. from what ive read u seem like a honest and trustable person.

Yea thanks man. I like betonline because there are alot more action junkie type gamblers on that site. Bunch of degen sports betters and the bank wires take 7-10 business days. Ive heard about them doing the scams and stuff but i think that happens when it is a substantial amount of money. Doubt they are going to try and not pay me a 1 or 2k cash out. Which is what i have always done. i never have had more then 2k on there site. Also the poker client is terrible on betonline. Id appreciate a stake, not going to lie, and yea im a honest guy.

Hi guys sorry for the lack of updates. Basically i didnt play any poker this past week and went to visit a friend in orlando. Basically i spent the week at his house and he really helped me out with some real life advice and is going to try and help me be more mature with my life. He wants me to quit smoking bud but i really dont see that happening anytime soon to be honest. I just want to be able to develop some self control and he is going to try and help me do that.

As far a poker is concerned i requested a withdrawal from betonline for 1k. I started to run like complete garbage one night when i had kk vs aa about 3 times and bricked a straight flush draw. Yet yesterday I played a 2/5 session at the casino and decided to stop playing like a nit and open my game up a bit. Overall i feel like i play my best poker when i play LAG and am just constantly taking stabs at pots. I profited 1064$ after my 300 buy in. It was the longest session of live poker i have played in a while. I played for about 12 hours straight and experienced so many swingy hours. From firing 4 barrels on A 9 2 6 10 only to be instantly called on the river by a 9 to winning a 1400 pot with slow played aces i was able to fight through the session. Especially after the hand where i fired 4 barells to be snap called by 3rd pair i was so so hot and tilted that i had to go outside and calm myself down. I had lost like 430 in that pot and feel like i played my hand well but apparently the calling station told me after that hand that he was tired of me pushing him around . Ill post some hands in a bit. Im feeling really good in genereal and am trying to focus on maintaining a positive attitude about everything. Im also feeling that hunger to win again which is a feeling i havent had in a while.

"If you don't go after what you want,
You'll never have it.

If you don't ask,
The answer is always no.

If you don't step forward,
You're always in the same place."

SO some hands from yesterday.

At this point i have a very aggro image and am always the aggressor in every pot i play. limped around to me in the sb and i have KQ off and raise to 30 with a 700 dollar stack. I get one caller. The caller is a decent player who is probably a winner. Flop was A 9 2. I bet 40 he flats. At this point in the hand i know this player never has any big aces because he is never limping the cutoff with those kind of hands and i felt like if he flopped something big he would of raised me on the flop or turn. Turn 6 and i bet 75 he flats. I was kind of confused at this point and i put him on weak ace. river 10 and i bet out 225 and he beat me into the pot. I shake my head and give him the "you got it" im an idiot remark. He flips over 97 suited. owned? I think i played this hand well and he told me after that he was tired of me raising him and said "what you think im just going to keep folding to you". blah blah i tell him nice call and move on. I had to get up like 5 min later and go meditate outside because i was literally getting hot in one of the coldest poker rooms i ever played in. Came back and started to play off my image and it worked. Funny how alot of bad regs and amateurs see one hand like that go down and then they just call you down super light for the next couple of hours. So i did the opposite of what they expected me to do and began only betting for value. I was able to chip up and then this hand came down.

Starting stack was like 700 and i pick up red AA and limp utg+1 and an extremely aggro kid from sweden raised to 25. There were like 3 callers and i make it 100. He flats and the flop was one of the best flops i could ask for. K23 all hearts. I decided to check to him and he bet out 125. I contemplated a raise but felt like if i raised here im never getting called by worst and if he really did have a K he is guaranteed to bet the turn. He obliged and bet out like 185 on the turn which was a 10. I flat and river was a 3. So i tank on the river and shoved the remainder of my stack and it was like 350. He ends up calling me with KQ. On the river when i bet out he was tanking and asking me questions. I think our conversation on the river got me the call and am preety happy with how i handled it. Like a year ago i would never talk when im in a hand but as of recently i have decided to talk to people during hands and im obviously just trying to mind **** them every time.

Today i woke after only like 5 hours of sleep and decided to go grind at the casino again and had two 300$ bullets. It ended up being a short session when i bought into a game for 200 and built up my stack to like 350 when this hand came down. At the 2/5 game a ghetto black male with gold teeth opened to 50 utg. This is the same guy who put in like 900 dollars against me with q6 off suit in a 5/10 game a couple of weeks ago and of course he won that hand. So back his 50 open, i look down at AA and make it 150 when it gets folded to me. He shoves i snap and he flips over AQ of clubs. Of course the flop came with two clubs and the river gave him the nuts. After that hand i was left crippled with like 50 bucks on the table and i decided to take the 50 and take a cab home. Tomorrow is a new day and it will be a better one.

wowzers i cant believe how emo i sound in this thread lol. This was a dark time for me for sure. I never actually went dead boke thank god. Its crazy how life works sometimes. Basically this is what happened to me since my last post. I managed to run a 100$ deposit to like 3k on betonline.ag and i did one of the stupidest things of my life. I think i was to embarresed to even post it on here. Last nba season bulls were playing at knicks and derrick rose was out. I decide that this is the dream game to bet on the knicks when the mvp is out and i lose the bet. I was left with like 1k to my name in cash. taking the bus to the casino i eventually got down to like 600 bucks to my name. Then i remember buying into a 2/5 game with my rent due for 750 in like 4 days. I get it in with qq against 99 for like 400 (half my life roll on table). i remember asking the guy to flip them up so we did and rightin the window 9 ball. my heart dropped and it was one of the worst feelings ever. I said nice hand right when the 9 came out and was really hiding how i really felt. But once the river peeled i hit the Q and the emotional roller coaster was spazzing off. This was the most emotional pot i have ever played in poker for sure. One of those hands i will never forget. After that day i kept playing 2/5 and managed to run good/play good for and extended period. I was a grinding machine. I ran up like 12k in a month. Then took a shot at 5/10 and killed the game for like 3k. Bought myself a car and car insurance. Reinstated my liscence (cost me like 500bucks wtf). And have been grinding since and my life is really starting to come around. I dont even enjoy to smoke weed anymore. I smoke maybe once or twice a month now and its just to get a buzz. After a like a 5 buying downswing at 5/10 like 2 months ago i talked to a friend who was a reg in the game and he was being staked in the game. After a long talk with him he convinced me that plalying on a stake can help my mental sanity and possibly make me play better. So for like 2 months now i have been playing on a stake and i really love it. Its cool to feel like everyone is on a team and to have people who want to see you do better and win even though it is an invested self interest. I feel like i have been playing some of my best poker in my life since i have been on stake. I really have that killer instint on the table and play very well deepstacked. On this stake i always buy in for the max and if the fish has more then the max i have been instructed to go north in the game and get position on them. So for now i am being staked for the 5/10 game and am really putting up some great results. I am the happiest i have been my entire life these past two months. not sure when ill post again on here. I might like go ahead and make a new account on twoplustwo and make a new thread. I cant call myself a stoner if i dont even like weed anymore and i dont like this thread.

Cool man, glad things worked out for you!

Congrats/great update!