A Random Act Of Kindness 2010
I grew up through grade school, middle school, and the first little bit of high school in Trenton, Michigan. However, after my Mother and Step-Father Marty divorced I moved in with my Grandmother Marge. My Grandmother Marge has been and still is one of the most influential people in my life to this day. I used to call her every morning on the phone when I woke up at 8am from 1st grade all the way until 6th or 7th grade and I visited her every weekend.
(My Grandfather George and My Grandmother Eda as well. Although this story is not about them, my heart would ache if I didn't mention them here. In fact, my heart aches just typing their names because they are no longer with me and I still feel shame about the pain I caused them when I went to jail.)
Anyway, after spending my high school years, and first two years of community college living with my Grandmother Marge, it's obvious I became even closer with her. Even when I moved into my own condo, my Grandmother still kept my bedroom there and I had an open invite to sleep/live there whenever I wanted.
Over the years of visiting my Grandmother I had a suspicion that her credit card bills/debt was mounting up. I could tell it was happening because I was slowly seeing "name brand" food be replaced with "meijer brand" or "kroger brand" and she was just was more cost conscious about everything. She would also ask to borrow $100 from me here and there.
When that happened, I knew something was wrong. This woman had worked every day of her life and the only reason she stopped working was because the real estate market went drastically downhill in 2006. She was the editor of a real estate magazine in the area and that magazine ended up going out of business. She was heartbroken. She took more pride in her work than anyone I've ever known and now at the age of 70 was not going to be able to find another job.
She should have been able to find another job because her mind is as sharp as a razor because she reads over 300 books a year. It's just that not many places of business are looking to hire a 70 year old woman to work. So, with her income now fixed, her credit card debt became overwhelming.
One day when I had stayed the night there, I decided to search through her personal belongings. I was shocked to find she owed 15k on a Bank of America credit card, 2.2k on a Chase Bank card, and 1k on a Discover card. Her minimum payments on all these cards were like $450 a month. Every single one maxed out. This woman had given all of her Children/Grandchildren $100 every birthday. This woman had given all of her children/grandchildren $100-$300 every Christmas. This woman had worked her entire life and supported her kids even after her husband abandoned her and committed suicide during the GM layoffs in the 80's. This woman would love you unconditionally and try her best to listen to you/understand you know matter how big of a piece of **** you may be at times. I had never been a piece of **** to her or any of my friends/family, but in life, yeah, I had made some mistakes, raised some hell, and every time she was there for me.
I had lost $15,000 in the stock market the week before. I had lost $1,000 in the casino the night before. I didn't even flinch. I called my Aunt, told her the news and got 2k from her, my Uncle Mike, and my Uncle Chris. Didn't even call my Mom because I knew she wouldn't have any money to contribute. The remainder of her balances, around 12k, I took care of myself.
While most people would jump for joy to know all their debt has been paid off, my Grandmother is not that type. She takes too much pride in finding her own way/making her own ends meet. She has a secret in that she's clinically depressed and on several occasions I have found a stockpile of prescription pills that she'll use to commit suicide whenever she wants to check out. Suicide runs deep in her side of the family. I believe she's lost 5-6 loved ones to it.
Paying off these bills was a risk because there was a chance that it could crush her self worth. My Grandmother isn't like me. She won't take a penny unless she works for it, unless she feels like she earned it, and what she does earn she takes great pride in. So, breaking this news to her was going to be a tough chore. I told the family I'd do it and I did.
There was a time in the past where she wanted to die. It was right after her husband committed suicide. Her whole world had turned upside down and she had sunk into the deepest of depressions. She was refusing to eat in the hospital and her body was slowly shutting down. I guess it is possible to die from a broken heart.
My Mother was single at the time as my real Father was in Florida trying to get clean in rehab. So, my Grandmother would always watch me when my Mom would go to work. I ended up spending just as much time with my Grandmother as my Mom. "Gram" was the world to me since I was a baby and in a last ditch effort to get a response from my Grandmother my Mom brought me to the hospital.
An argument ensued between my Mother and Grandmother and my Mom said "if you want to give up and die, you tell your Grandchild Justin that you're going to give up and die because he needs you, I can't raise him alone. Here look at him and tell him you're going to die."
My Mom sat me on her lap and I said "Gram, I don't want you to die."
My Grandmother asked for a cigarette and some food shortly after.
She knew my Mom was right.
Well, even though almost 25 years had went by...
My Mom was still right.
I needed my Grandmother then, just like I needed my Grandmother in 2010, just like I need her now, and I told her that was the reason why I decided to pay off her bills.
I told her I couldn't stand to see her struggle, couldn't stand to see the stress, and told her that I owed her all the money that was on those cards anyway for all the love, support, and gifts she had bought me over the years.
I cried, she cried, and then she hugged me as tight as she could.
Freeing up that $450 a month was going to put extra money in her pocket so she could buy the food she likes to cook, order my little cousins pizzas when they come over, buy little knick knacks for the house, etc, etc, etc... $450 a month goes a long way for someone on a fixed income.
In exchange for paying off her bills she made me agree to bring her my laundry so she could wash/dry/and press all of my clothes for the rest of her life.
No joke, her creases are more on point than a dry cleaner...
Also, in case any one thinks I am bull****ting, here's a couple of the bills.
I only told my family about the 15k Bank Of America, these two bills I just kept to myself/paid off....