So, from 2006 until late 2007 I was employed at the first auto dealership I worked for in downriver Michigan. I came over to the auto industry from the lending industry because I saw the lending industry was going to going into a rapid decline. I figured I had a lot of success closing online leads into home loans, why not try to close online leads into auto sales.
So, I decided to put in an application to be an "Internet Sales Specialist." Like I do with all my interviews, the first thing I talk about is my drug crime. I simply say "Before I waste my time or your time, I'd like to talk about something I didn't disclose on my job application. "A few years ago I was convicted of a drug crime in Isabella County Michigan, I served my jail time, I completed my probation, and I've never failed a drug test. The crime had to do with me distributing drugs because I was young, dumb, greedy, and didn't want to work for my money. If you can't hire anyone who has made mistakes, I am not the guy for your job. If you can hire someone who has made a mistake, please feel free to ask me any questions about this subject first."
With this straight shooting style most of my interviews just become casual conversations about drugs, drinking, college campus, what's jail like, and then the person doing the interviewing admitting they know someone who does drugs or who has sold drugs and being involved in that doesn't make me a bad person. Then the place admits they don't do a super thorough background check and they wouldn't have found the conviction.
So, after interviewing with three different people, and two of the people saying I sound like a fun guy to party with. I get the job over eight other candidates. I was a likeable guy and I had demonstrated success/familiarity with online leads. They figured if I was skilled enough to get all important info over the phone/email needed to close a home loan, that I'd be able to do that to sell a car.
My first Manager's name was Walter. When he was there I was the dealership "golden boy" as the dealer had never sold more than 3 cars online in a month and I had them up to selling over 20 cars a month online. I was consistently in the top three in sales.
When Walter left, we had a new Manager come in by the name of Joe. Joe was one of those guys who run those fake "repo" sales where the dealership gets the big tent and advertised to the public that "all cars must go." When in reality, they're not repos. They're just used cars a bunch of auto dealers already own and they put the sticker price at like 6k too much then say "make us any offer, the bank probably won't refuse." Then the person offers like 4k less than the sticker, they're still getting ripped off, and they think they got a good deal.
My primary focus was always internet. I wanted no part of "repo" sale **** or used car sale ****. I didn't want to be a "lotgrinder." I didn't want to be out in that summer heat hounding the lot trying to find a lead. I was comfortable grinding on the phone or internet at work while I was on Face The Jury, ESPN, or whatever site I wanted to enjoy to waste some time in an air conditioned environment.
Joe would always try to rattle my cage and be like "there's an up on the lot, go grab him." I'd say "I prefer to work the internet Joe, I do that well, go tell one of the other sales guys." I tried telling him man to man to leave me alone. Just let me sell cars online and make you money. Joe even agreed to do so. I always had a feeling he was a bit of a rattlesnake. Not a rattlesnake like me where lets say I'll take a few shortcuts to make some easy money. Nah, a true rattlesnake, a dirty rat, the type of guy that would **** your wife. A piece of ****.
The special finance guy at the dealership loved me. I asked him to watch Joe like a hawk after I leave work. I come to find out that piece of **** is going through the history on my work computer, looking for some "dirt" on me. To perhaps try to build a case to get me fired. I have a few ways to deal with pieces of **** like this.
The first way is what I call
"engineer the dui." That's where you and a friend follow your boss to his favorite watering hole, wait for him to leave, and then call 911 and report his car/license plate. Your boss is then pulled over, gets the dui, and you send his life into a downward spiral. Lots of times your boss will get terminated for the offense.
The second way is to run a
"backround check" on your boss. I knew a private investigator that I played poker with so I can get this done real cheap. With this Joe guy I found out he had multiple felonies for defrauding people out of hundreds of thousands for new construction homes he took deposits for, but never built. He was a real piece of ****.
Now, throughout my life I have only been a part of bringing two bosses down. There's a three person panel who has to agree to all of this. There's no way I ever want to take a superior down for being a superior. I've been talked down a lot of times and took it like a man. However, if me and my two best friends Tony and Ben decide the boss is a real/certified piece of ****. We'll go diabolical.
This Joe guy was trying to get me fired/ruin my life at that time.
So, after careful consideration, I decided that turnabout was fair play.
This is the first part of the story that's degen...
I have my P.I friend print out his criminal history. I scour the internet and print out all stories that can be found online about him defrauding people. I scour the internet and print out any court findings, depositions, better business bureau reports, etc, etc, etc that clearly show this guy is a piece of ****.
It's never libel or slander if you're telling the truth about the person.
I have my two best friends prepare thirty copies of each things I have, put them in a large/document size envelope/and mail them in to the 30 most important/influential employees at the dealership. I also make sure to type up an introduction letter to be included that goes over all the charges, exactly what he did, etc, etc, etc, etc...
The envelopes are then mailed and a few days later I walk into work to find my manager is not at his desk.
I walk to where the meeting room is and see the manager crying/looking like he is begging for his job to the three super powers of the dealership.
Turns out that Joe wasn't up front and honest about his past.
He lost his job.
You see, me, I don't try to hide my past.
I don't try to be a perfect human being.
No one should.
The truth is that we're all flawed individuals.
The truth is actually your shield.
As long as you tell it, then the parasites in your life will have nothing to dig up on you that can hurt you.
You're protected.
When I saw that grown man crying there was no internal fist pump.
If what I did was to be described as a World Wrestling Entertainment move I had just "rock bottomed" his ass.
I was actually disgusted at the entire situation. That guy could have gone on being my manager if he would have just set aside his thirst for power+control of everything around him. That guy could have kept his word to me and "let me sell cars so I could make him money."
To this day he thinks the person who sent in all that stuff was his ex-partner in a defunct business venture of his. Not once did it ever cross his mind that I am the one who did it. It's because he underestimated me. Everyone always underestimates me.
Why?
A simple line from a song in office space.
"A real gansta ass ***** never runs his ****ing mouth, because a real gansta ass ***** don't start fights."
Actually, just listen to the first verse, I live by it...
You are the only ones that get my degen stories.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AULRSOK1KPQ
Now my next Manager is untouchable. She's been at the dealership for over fifteen years and is ****ing the General Manager. I have never been on the best of terms with her and she feels the same need to try to get me off the phones/internet. For some reason they think because I light it up on the phone/internet, that I am going to be this great "lotgrinder" and be able to do great selling used cars/etc.
She eventually talks the General Manager to take away the internet/phone from me in an effort to force me to become a more well rounded salesperson. Then, the final nail in my coffin. Now that I am going to have work outside of my office, she is forcing me to wear a tie.
It's at this time that I decide she just doesn't want me to work at the dealership anymore. I rub her the wrong way, she's in control, and she's going to force me to quit. When an auto dealer does this to you, they are trying to "starve" you out. Get you to quit.
I absolutely refused to quit, because if I quit, I don't get unemployment compensation. So what do I do? I just go "GUNSLINGER" like Brett Favre down by a touchdown in the 4th quarter. I go "Petergibbons" Office Space style and show up to work in jeans and an untucked button up. I also go out and I buy over 10 of the most ugly ties you have ever seen. The Jerry Garcia hippie ties that are just out of control. Ties so disgusting that any business owner would want to terminate the person on spot for wearing them.
(As I am getting deeper into this story, I feel the need to go get the ties. I need to take pics of them before I tell you all how I eventually got fired, wound up on unemployment, and then worked with Gene again on another scam. I will complete this story with pics when I get back home from the gym. I feel this lead in was important because it shows you all how I got desperate for cash again. I will finish this story when I get back from the gym. Tune in around 6pm Eastern for the conclusion.)