BRAG:
Beat:
She's only 22 and I couldn't keep up with her partying.
If I'm not going out with her every weekend, she'll be going out without me, and she's got hundreds of other dudes blowing up her cell phone, text message or facebook instant chat service.
As fun as she was, she was not serious girlfriend material.
Those that are irresponsible when it comes to drugs, drinking, and/or gambling will also be irresponsible with your heart.
I tried as hard as I could to convert her into a girl that would make a great wife, but all she wants is to be the girl that will make a great trophy wife.
Anyway, she loved me because I was the guy that would show her adventure, travel, and was smart enough to take her to a better restaurant than Olive Garden or introduce her to a better beer than Bud Light. Any guy she dated in the past probably had an income level below the poverty line so it was no doubt that I could show her the funnest times of her life. I also can still party like a rockstar when I have to and I am the guy that makes sure every person is having a good time. Even the fat girl that's not getting hit on at all.
Every now and then I'll get the random call or text from her to hang out.
Friday night was no different.......
As much as I wanted to hold those natural 32dd tits in my hand, I am TILTED harder than SNOOP DOG's BRIM....
There's no way I can leave that casino. There's no way I can be happy around a woman. No way I could be an entertainer. No way I can put on a smiling happy face and listen to drugged out hippies plans to save the world or any other stupid story they want to try to tell me when they're all jacked up on mdma.
As I am pondering my decision, time is wasting. No way a girl that hot is going to wait for longer than ten minutes for me to text back. She's got lots of other guys she can have whenever she wants. Not me though.
I don't need ass. I need action.
To the blackjack tables I go. They're all full.
****.
I don't want to go to the high stakes room.
I prefer to gamble with the common man's degen.
That roulette wheel looks awful pretty.
I speed walk over to it.
Slide over $200. Give me 8 greens.
Yeah baby, "GO BIG OR GO HOME."
Split the 3/6 for my ex-gf. (She used to clean house on this split.)
Split the 16/19 for my friend that's no longer with me. (16-Brett Hull/19-Steve Yzerman.)
Split 17/20 black (cuz 17 is my favorite number and some girl i used to like loved 20)
Split 26/29 black (for my degen friend that moved to seattle)
21 (because that's blackjack baby)
23( because jordan is clutch)
7 (because lucky #7 takes you straight to heaven)
30(because bill ranford is my favorite goalie of all time.)
The whole table is looking at me/sizing me up/thinking in their heads...
"Yeah, this guys a ****ing degen."
That beautiful white ball rolls perfectly into the number 16...
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I grab the $25 off the table, take my payout, and "HIT N RUN" Prince tour style right back to the poker room.
I choose to sit at 2/5 though, because obviously this night has taken a turn for the degen, so it's time to play a game that's too much for my bankroll.
Right away I get pocket 10's from UTG.
I make it $30 to go.
A $****ty reg calls. (He covers me.)
A hoodie villian with ipad/headphones calls on the button that has around 3k in front of him. (I am assuming he is competent, capable of floating/bluffing/etc)
Flop 8h/9h/3s
I lead $75.
Fish folds. Hoodie calls.
(Lol, this ugly hoodie that hasn't showered in a day is floating or has the 8 or 9 here. I am checking all turns and giving him the lead.)
Turn is a 4h.
I check. The hoodie bets $150.
I ship "all in."
The hoodie is visibly upset, he got himself into a tough spot floating with 2nd pair I think.
He reluctantly calls.
I show 10/10, he mucks when the river brings no heart.
I assume he had a 8x or 9x suited hand.
So, I had lost $200 at 1/2, then took another $200 out of my pocket and ran it up to $500 at roulette.
I now sit with $1,000 chips off a $400 investment and the bat**** crazy super monkey tilt is wearing off.
I should cash out right?
No. I decide to keep playing.
I am sitting with $900 when this gem happens.
I am OTB with A/10s, the guy to my right has been aggressive as he sees I am playing very tight. He's definitely stealing the button with position raises. Aggro villian. No clue if he's a good player or not post flop though.
3 limps to him and he makes it $35 to go. I raise to $105. It folds around to him and we go to the flop heads up.
($220 in pot.)
8s/10c/Js
I flop 2nd pair with the nut flush draw.
Villian checks. I bet $150.
Villian reraises all in. It's like $650 for me to call.
I don't even take the time to range him. I've got 2nd pair, the nut flush draw, and an overcard in case he is spazzing here with queens or kings.
Turn 7h
River is like an offsuit 2 or 3...
Villian turns over Ah/9h.
He shipped on an open end straight draw and an over.
I had the over card covered.
Villian snaps me off with a 6 outer.
I feel bat**** crazy super monkey tilt start to flow through my veins like a river forever winding.
As I am walking to buy more chips I think "hey, it's only $400, you can still avoid the catastrophic loss. Why not just drown your sorrows in a big mac, fries, coke, and a reeses peanut butter cup mcflurry with extra reeses and caramel put in it? Yeah, you like mcflurry's don't you big boy? MMMMMMMMMMMMM"
I B-line it out of the poker room.
I am speed walking out of the casino as the blackjack and roulette tables cry out to me...
No. Not tonight. I am going to gorge on late night mcdonald's and then pass out in a 3 excedrin pm induced coma.
I live to fight another day.
Bankroll is currently at $6,645.00