Thanks all for your thoughts. Of course I agree: variance is what makes the game what it is; it obscures one's assessment of one's own abilities relative to the field, which is so important in securing the involvement of weaker players.
, you're certainly right that being able to deal with variance is a skill like any other. It's something one must cultivate, and anyone who doesn't prepare himself to deal with the almost absurd amount of variance that is possible has no place making money in poker. I've certainly been guilty of this in the past. It's so easy to believe again and again when winning that one's mindset is invulnerable, but it's not until one gets coolered again and again in short succession that one knows whether one is 'qualified'
The fact is that I don't get a rush from gambling per se, only from winning. If it was possible to just be awarded my equity share when I'm all in I would take it without any further thought. It is my job, however, to manage these feelings and potential limitations on my performance, and assemble them into an overall game plan.
With that said, I have a new plan underway, starting today. There's always been a big discrepancy between how I imagine my poker ideal and my own performance. I must close this gap, or risk treading water forever.
- Short sessions and employ strict stoplosses (to vary depending on stake), to minimise tilt/auto-piloting.
- Move up and down stakes quickly and fluidly based on how much is in my account; don't hide behind excuses. Withdraw relatively small amounts regularly, but not so much that I have to keep moving down. Need to decide on exact $ points to move up and down.
- 10 tables ABSOLUTE MAX. This means if I have 10 running I must quit some BEFORE I open up more empty tables. Ideally I'd like to be running 8 or so at once and have a couple of empty ones, then just constantly eliminate the worst tables.
- More hours studying. I have so many ideas about how one becomes really good at poker, and yet I procrastinate and don't put in the hours. If I took out all the hours I spend playing my C-game and devoted them to really efficient performance reviews and theoretical study my game could rapidly improve.
- Prepare better away from the tables for the psychological side of the game while playing. Write lists of all the signs of tilt and stop immediately when they appear.
Cashed in some FPPs (Was saving for 4k bonus but getting back in the games is more important), and playing 50nl for starters. If all goes well I'll be back at 100nl in a matter of days. Playing time in December will be rather limited, but I will put some hours in until the 21st or so, when operations will cease for two weeks. 2012 is my year: GOGOGOGOGOGOGO
Edit: corrected singular 'they' because I'm a grammar nit.