Hi faithful followers.
Today I am having my first real mindset struggle with poker. I am just going to be honest here and not gloss over it with my usual upbeat spirit and attitude...
On Sunday night I lost almost 4 buy ins...
I was having some issues with HM2 and also was setting up things on Microgaming so maybe that did not help (if it didn't it's my own fkn fault for not playing nl2 while doing that).
I made one really terrible call down with an over pair which cost me 80bb but I guess looking back the other two big pots I lost were played "okay".
Last night I played much more solid...
... and lost yet again.
Not really sure what is going on in my head today. I have never really had such a negative feeling. I honestly feel like I cannot do it.
I know that probably sounds dumb to a lot of you guys because maybe it looks pretty obvious that I cannot do it!
It's just that, well, I never once really felt like this. Not about anything.
Yesterday I really battered myself. I spent a long time "in front of the mirror" giving myself a proper dressing down about my bad play on Sunday night. I am talking about hours here too, not minutes.
Maybe today is an aftermath of all that negative self talk, I don't know.
Anyway, just thought I would share that with you guys. It makes a bit of a change I would imagine?
It certainly does to me as I don't remember ever feeling like this - even at school when I had 7+ years of them telling me "you cannot do it"!
I only know one way to cope with this.
Hard work. Patience. Discipline.
See you tomorrow amigos. With a smile on my face for sure.
P.S. Happy Valentine's. I still love you poker, don't worry!