Lost in the round of 256. Turns out I ain’t **** haha

Lost the game 5-4. Other dude scored two goals with passes which sucked, but he did play better overall. I made it close in last thirty seconds. I was down 5-3 and got a 5 on 3 powerplay (6 with the goalie pulled). Scored one goal, had another cross-crease one timer stopped with two seconds left for the tie. It just wasn’t meant to be.

I was definitely spending way too much time playing Chell, so i think i might be done for the year now. Headed to the library to get a book my friend told me to read and also hit that study grind.

Literally just heard about the low stakes MTT rake increases on Stars. God, that ****ing blows. Going from 10% to 12.5% rake. Man, it is very demoralizing. I know that I’m not at the level where I can look at that rake and see how much profit I’m going to now lose, considering I’m not making a consistent profit. As someone trying to get better at the game tho, this is just so demoralizing. It’s easy to see why poker is not doing so well these days, and why so many people complain about poker as a profession becoming less and less likely. Obviously I am still gonna try and make this work. I’m sure that if I become a true crusher it would still be possible to crush the microstakes MTTs. It’s just sad. I guess it’s the corporate greed side of the business deciding to **** over the players. Obviously I’m holding out hope a site like PartyPoker can step in and be a saviour. It’s just gonna be so hard to attract all the new players to make it a site as or more powerful than Stars. They have such a huge percentage of the playerbase... ****. I wish everyone would just move over to Party. I’m still bummed about that huge Sunday crash, but I really just want everything to be possible. I really want to do poker as a living, so **** like this just sucks.

If only I was a player in 2003, right? Lol

Hey bro, I feel for you : the entry level to become a pro nowadays, is a thin crack, at the most This said, how many tables do you play? How many sites?

I am now a midstakes online cash game player (and highstakes live MTTs, midstakes cash), but played MTTs for 3 years a while back (50$ ABI). In my 8 years as a pro, I had to adjust a TON in order to survive. Like a lot. So not sure if you are just playing Stars and Party, but I would suggest to spread your roll around, especially on softer European sites (Unibet, for example, which is focussing a lot on micro/low stakes tournaments recently) and Bovada. Especially now that you seem to be in a B/E-downswing stretch, softer sites with smaller fields will considerably lower your variance/increase your confidence. Also, I use to crush Party and 888 MTTs, but had a lower ROI on Stars (tougher fields and lower RB).

GL friend

Yeah dude, definitely not an easy game to catch up in haha. At peak I can play like 12 tables, I think 10 and lower is my comfort zone, been averaging anywhere from 30-40 MTTs per day this month. I know I need to get more volume, but my BR is too small so I can't get into the softer, bigger BI tourneys.

The CFP program I'm in is recommending only playing Stars, Party, and 888, I think mostly because of security concerns. I have definitely had more success on Party and 888 as well, Stars it feels like you're basically playing a lottery to try and get top three haha.

Had the podcast Joey Ingram did with Barry Greenstein on in the background for last couple hours of today and it definitely inspired me to maybe consider doing cash games. Obviously I'm gonna tough out the MTT streets for a while yet, but I am open to playing different variations if I think I can do well in them. I know firsthand how soft casino cash games can be, so I can always try other avenues if MTTs don't work out.

That being said, I finally had a score today. Second in a bounty tourney for $415. Really gutted it out on the FT, thought I played super ****ing good, and maybe got a little unlucky not to win it. But I got to heads up, which was lucky enough in itself. I was basically a top 10 stack in the tourney from the very first hand, so I had some good cards and I played smart and I ran good. Had two other deep runs today, one final two tables and one final three tables. Really encouraging to see some results so short into my renewed emphasis on study, so the MTT dream isn't dead yet

Congrats dude, bounty builders are the shiz, you can still find people who don't quite know exactly how to play them effectively yet. I've been trying to grind up a roll in cash right now, because I can't hack it in the 2k-3k runner micro MTTs, it's too tilting. The play at the $11's is so soft and smaller fields but I don't have the roll for it yet. I really feel that there is big money to be made at the $7.50-$55 MTTs though, it's just so hard to get out of the micro crab bucket.

PKOs are the nuts for sure, people go crazy in them haha

As far as moving up, it definitely is tough. You either need a lot of really good scores, or maybe just one BIG score. With variance, definitely makes it tough when you’re playing a few thousand other people. I like your cash game build a bankroll strat, hope it works out for you dude

March Recap

Another losing month haha. I ended up losing 50 Euros on my last day played this month, so it is what it is. Obviously the volume goals I set at the start of last month weren't met, but that is because I rededicated myself to studying. I was grinding the webinar database for basically a full week, and then I reconfigured my weekly schedule to play less and study more. That being said, I still got my PB for MTTs played in a month and still met the Bronze volume goals. I don't have my exact hours, but I'll try and put down how I remember it.

March Stats

• Profit: -43 Euros
• Hours Played: ~110 hours
• MTTs Played: 445

Alright. So even though I lost money, it wasn't too much. Also, I finally feel like I am on the correct path in regards to my poker game. As was evident earlier in the blog, I really really needed to focus on my mental health at the start of this journey. I am feeling better now than I have in maybe 5 and a half years (which is crazy to think, but kind of true). My emphasis was on that because it needed to be. Now that I am feeling better and sharper, it's time I focus in on my game. I think I can get better pretty quick here. It all depends on how much work I put in. If I keep up the dedication of the last couple of weeks, I like my chances at becoming an advanced player.

Final thing. I only won a few bucks yesterday. I deposited on Stars on Saturday because my bankroll was non-existent there, so I won maybe $10 off of the $30 of Spin tickets I got as a bonus. Had some run bad haha. I got another F2T which was nice and had a pretty decent amount of cashes. Most exciting thing was that I found a bunch of sub-satellite tickets to higher stakes MTTs in my Party account. I ended up satelliting into a $109 tournament, so I'm playing the $200k GTD next Sunday. Super excited and motivated to work on my game for next weekend. I'm playing with a microstakes version of PT4 so I won't even have a hud for the tourney. Better make sure that I'm in the zone. Even a min-cash would be sick considering the overlays some of these tourneys have had. Should be fun

A daily reminder of how much I have to grow: I began reconfiguring my hud today for the very first time.

Baby steps, boys and girls. Goodnight

Today was a very successful day, albeit not a hugely profitable one. I had a F2T on Stars and I got two FTs on Party, although I ended up placing sixth on both FTs (6-max tourneys lol). Had a lot of other cashes as well. Today was just smooth.

My fave moment today was on Party where I was BU 3betting against CO. My reconfigured HUD has the "fold to PF 3bet" stat, and this guy's stat was almost 100%. I was 3betting the **** out of him and I just remember thinking, "Man, this is fun and easy." That's a really nice combo.

I'm really happy with how my game has progressed recently. Still lots of work to do, but I am getting better and at a pretty decent clip. Just gotta keep my pedal to the metal and I'm gonna be having a lot more fun out there soon

Sounds like I'm going to Game 1 of the WHL Eastern Conference Semi-Finals with my Dad in Lethbridge. I guess that I am technically a Wheat Kings fan. I'm sure as **** not a Broncos fan. I think the last Wheaties game I went to might've been in 2010 though, the year that Brandon hosted the Memorial Cup. My fam is from the Brandon area, so I was lucky enough to watch some good junior hockey and also almost watch Travis Hamonic murder Taylor Hall before my Oilers could draft him that June (does any of this make sense to any of you???).

Anyways, are there any casinos down in Lethbridge? The game is Friday night, we're leaving tomorrow and coming home Saturday. I'd be interested in maybe hitting up some cash tables if my dad is so inclined.

I don't think there is Poker in Lethbridge.

Turns out there is poker in Lethbridge. I got into a $1/$2 game for $250, and I cashed out for $338 after about 3 hours. Small profit, but a profit nonetheless. I was very confident that I was the best player at the table. I just knew what I was doing. I only bet my value and I bet it big, and I got called almost every time. Easy money.

One notable hand. This was maybe my third at the table, so my stack was about $150. I was in sb with JJ. Full nine-handed, UTG limps and three others limp behind. I raised it to $25. Maybe should’ve gone bigger with value, but Jacks are dicey. The other dudes called, so we went to flop five-way.

Flop was AsTc9s. I check, and it checks through.

Turn is Jc. I turn my set, so I lead out for $25. It is a very connected and draw heavy board, so although I think I have the best hand I’m not loving the spot. UTG calls, and UTG+1 min-reraises to $50. It folds around to me. And this is INSANELY strong. This board is insane to bluff at, and this dude can very easily have KQ or even 78. I decide to call and try to river a full house, and UTG calls as well.

River is 2s. Flush gets there. We check to UTG+1 and he fires $150. I snap fold. I think I am beating basically nothing in this spot. He has all straights, flush got there, and he is never bluffing. UTG thinks about it for a minute and then calls.

UTG+1 says, “You’ve got it,” and shows Q9. UTG shows AQ to win with a pair of aces.

I did not know this, but UTG+1 was the bluff happy player at the table. And it did not matter if it was insane; He was going to bluff at the pot. Had I known that, my set of Jacks is probably a rip on the turn. If he does have a straight, I still have a ton of outs for my full house. Maybe that was the play even with me assuming he had tons of straights, but I’m still comfortable with how I played the hand.

Other than that the session was pretty straightforward. Cashed out for my +$88. I have definitely mentioned this in passing before, but my Dad does have a gambling problem. He was playing some of the other games while I played poker. I met him at this weird poker hybrid bull**** gambling table game. He asked for $10 to keep him playing, so I gave him $10. He told me to give him $20 when he had pocket Queens, so I gave him $20. He lost it all and I said “I’m not giving you any more money.”

So yeah. I enjoyed the poker, but I’m worried for my dad. I am hyper aware of the dangers of gambling just because I am a poker player and because of some of the darker paths I went down in the past. Sitting at the poker table tonight, I was not gambling. I was playing solid ABC poker and the gamblers gave me money. I know my mom worries for my dad and his gambling issues, and I am honestly worried too. He is the type that would get addicted. I’m worried he is the type that would lose a lot of money. Hopefully it never comes to that. I don’t want to be the one to try and talk some sense into him, but it might come to that. I want him and my mom to both be happy. That all I want, my dudes.

Game 1 is tomorrow. Gonna have a good time watching some junior hockey, and I might hit up the tables again for Friday night afterwards. Maybe the game will be even juicier tomorrow. Goodnight all

Guys I am watching the Masters and am having very serious golf withdrawal. I think I might get a golf membership in Swift for the summer. We have two courses, one for $640 and the other for $735. That’s a sizable chunk of my savings, but I still think it’s a good investment lol. I am addicted to golf, I used to golf almost everyday as a junior member. At $45 per 18, I can easily crush that investment over the course of a season. I am still out of shape, but I would walk both of these courses 100% and it would be a fun and leisurely exercise I would be into.

****, I just want to golf to my heart’s content. Obviously poker does need to and will come first, but I think there is room for balance. I can go golf after short poker days, I can golf on off days before or after studying as motivation. Lots of the time with my downtime I just end up mindlessly watching youtube for hours until bedtime which allows me to sit around and eat way too much junk food. I mentioned that I like walking and that might have originated with golf. It’s just totally my ****.

So yeah. I mean, we still have snow in Swift, it is depressing af. Looks like it could still be a few weeks till the courses open, but at worst I would have 4-6 months of golf. $640 for 4-6 months of entertainment. I’m gonna keep thinking about it, but I think it would be the right call.

As you can possibly tell, I have been overspending a bit. Most of this has been in the form of too much takeout food. I had pizza way too much in the past month, and that is genuinely the worst use of my money. It negatively affects my health, and it is fleeting af. I need to keep my eye on my finances for sure and trim the spending. As mentioned before, poker has been going better but it won’t be a feasible source of income for a while still. I just need to be smart about how I use my money and my time. Even tho it’s $640, I think a golf membership would be a worthwhile investment for me, both physically and mentally.

I’m gonna think about it haha

Ended up playing until closing at the $1/$2 table on Friday night after the Wheaties lost 5-1. A pleasant surprise was showing up to the casino and Jaime Staples was there playing. I actually got to sit down on his direct left. He seemed like a really cool guy. I congratulated him on his weigh-in, he said thanks. He's from Lethbridge. I watched the weigh-in when it happened on Twitch and I thought only his brother was going back to Lethbridge, so I was pleasantly surprised to see him. I weirdly felt like I belonged at the table. Not in a competitive sense, but I just feel like I am part of the poker world a tiny bit now. I knew what I was doing, you know? Meeting my first poker celebrity was cool, and hopefully I can bump into him again in the future if I end up building a roll and get to travel and play more live events. We'll see I guess. Let's not get ahead of ourselves haha

Anyways, I only got to play for four minutes beside him before they switched the game to $1/$2 PLO and I got booted to the other table. I only won $33 on the night for a net poker profit on the trip of +$121. Had fun though. I had a really good opportunity to maybe win $250+ on the night, but I got unlucky on two hands in the last half hour. I really like playing live cash and I had a great time. Now that I'm back home, tomorrow will be back to the online MTT grind for the foreseeable future.

One last thing. Obviously in the news the Humboldt Broncos of the SJHL had their team bus crash yesterday. I think right now it's 15 dead, and everyone else on the bus was injured. Really gut-wrenching news. I'm not really a part of the hockey community seeing as how I don't play and haven't gotten out to watch games, but it still hits very close to home. My former uncle was a play-by-play announcer for the Flin Flon Bombers, and my grandpa was a season ticket holder for his entire life. I was wearing a Bombers hat last night, and they are in the SJHL as well, same league as Humboldt. The hockey world is not very big, and Saskatchewan isn't very big either. Spending long days and nights on the highway traveling for sports is just a thing everyone does, and it's a thing I did for volleyball, basketball, golf, etc. I played a junior golf tournament up in Nipawin a couple years ago too, so I know the area. So it is just hits very close to home. A horrible horrible tragedy that is reminiscent of the bus crash that killed four Swift Current Broncos in 1986. That was before my time, but I was always aware of that part of our team's history. Humboldt is an even smaller town, and I'm sure that they will be struggling for a long time. Incredibly sad. All it took was a second, so we just gotta try and do the most we can with our lives while we have them. Life has perspective when you realize how fragile it can be. Goodnight everyone.

Hey guys. I'm at the library about to do some work, but I just wanted to write a quick blurb on the whole idea of environment and mindset. Today at lunch I got hounded a bit by my dad, just the usual **** of I need to make money to live, and I shouldn't quit playing on a day until I make money. Obviously he has no idea what he's talking about. He basically offered up an alternative definition of chasing losses which I will never do (especially in MTTs lol). Basically what he was getting at is that I need a steady income. So even though I've won maybe $500-600 USD in the last two weeks, he can't get past the fact that some days I don't make money. That's just how poker works. We all know it, we all accept it.

My mom just looked kind of tired. Obviously I know that she is still worried about me and this path I've chosen still. She's honestly probably praying I'll stop any day now. She's been really pushing me hard to try and get a job, join local writers groups, all of this other **** but I'm still on that full-time grind and there's a pretty decent chance I will be on the full-time grind for the rest of the summer (or most of it). I saved my money up to do this, and I intend on following it through. I know that my mom and my dad both care about me. I am very aware of that. They just aren't being helpful or constructive, and it's important I can block them out a bit.

It's all about mindset and environment. I still remember my Dad in January telling me I couldn't call poker my job until I was making money playing it. Basically, what I was doing was taking this journey as seriously as I could and treating it like a job to try and give myself the best chance for success. What my dad was doing was saying you are not making money, get a job, stop doing this. Essentially.

I love my parents, but having a good environment to play in is so important. Even though living in town is a lot more expensive and I'm paying for all of my own **** and my savings are shrinking, it is a much better alternative to living with them. When you have people constantly trying to hold you back and tell you what you're doing is wrong, it will have an effect on you. I came into the journey expecting this to happen, so I was prepared for it. But it can be very demoralizing for someone ill-prepared for it, and obviously it still has an effect on me to a slight extent.

It's just a loser's mentality to try and hold someone back. And I will preface that by saying that I understand I am trying to play poker for a living, which is a horrible idea for most people in the universe and in which my parent's advice could be well-founded. I'm just saying I know what I'm doing, I know what I want, and I know that I can succeed. Or at least have the chance to succeed. This applies to all areas of life and enterprises anyone can try undertaking. I've had people ****-talk me about writing, about sports, about other academic things I did in the past, you name it. The nay-sayers will always be out there for anything you try to work for and care about. This doesn't mean that they're wrong or that you shouldn't be willing to listen, but it is a loser's mentality. It just is. I moved out of my parent's place for several reasons, but the most important one was having as productive and positive a work space as I could have. Because playing environment matters. Working environment matters. You need to surround yourself with people that believe in and support you for anything you do.

People fail all the time, and I have certainly failed in the past. The fear of failure is something a lot of people have, but something that has never really affected me. I understand the value in working hard and trying to achieve your goals. Even if I haven't succeeded, I've been able to draw positives from my failures for myself. All of my ventures have been worthwhile, and this poker journey has been the most valuable of them all.

Those were just some thoughts on my mind. Time to get to work fellas, see ya

An addendum here. The goal should never be to justify ourselves. I have my reasons for doing this, and they are good reasons. This poker journey is very worthwhile for me, and that is what matters most. Although what other people think of you and what you're doing should matter to a certain extent, it is not everything. If you are a slave to what other people think of you, you will have a rough go in life. I got stuck in that frame of mind for the last couple of years. It completely ****ed my mind, and I've been trying to rebuild myself for the last little while. Part of writing my mental health article was so that I wouldn't have to explain myself and what I am doing. It's out there. If people don't understand or don't support me, that's fine. I'm comfortable with what I'm doing and I like it a lot. Even though I am not printing yet, I tell people poker is going well because it is going well. We don't need to justify ourselves.

Now, I'm not saying you should be an *******. Haha I hold myself to a very high standard and try to be the best person I can be, both internally and with the people around me. I'm just trying to say that it's important you can differentiate between what people think of you and what really matters. If you need to do something, then you should do it. If you have good reasons, ****ing go for it. Other people are important, but we need to look out for our well-being first and foremost.

Okay, now I really need to study. See ya

All the strengh to you bro I remember when I first started my poker journey as a pro, nobody - and I mean NOBODY outside of 1 friend - believed that I would be successful. I am sure glad I engaged that journey. Now I find myself in the top 2% earner in Canada 8 years later and am thinking in terms of retirement

I can also related to the depression as well, as that is a demon I have slayed along the way (thx to vipassana meditation).

Keep it up, am strongly rooting for you

You're on a good path, you acknowledged that your parents just care for you and want what's best for you, but also don't want to dwell on that negativity either because that can be toxic for your goals.

Thanks man. That's awesome and inspiring to hear about the success that you've had, and I hope that I can achieve a similar level of success in the future

I'm lucky enough to have lots of people who are either supportive and/or don't really give a ****. Most of my friends around town are unemployed or working minimum wage jobs, so even though I'm playing poker I am also in a position where they can't really talk down to me if they wanted to haha. I also have a lot of people who do support me, and I think it's because they know my character and my intelligence well enough to know its possible. The nay-sayers are out there. Doesn't matter what anyone does, there'll always be someone trying to bring you down. Malicious or not, it's important to take what you can from it (if there is anything of value) and be able to block it out if you need to, which I've been able to

Exactly. I know my parents love me and only want what's best for me. Sometimes what people think is best for you doesn't align with reality. I don't view my parents as haters, but I'm able to see that, although well-intentioned, they aren't exactly being helpful. And that's okay haha

This Sunday started like every other Sunday, I was getting absolutely ****-kicked. And then I binked one lol



Feels good. I am starving haha

I've been kind of wondering what I was wanting to do. My mom has been pushing me to get a job at the golf course, and I am still going to look at it. But holy ****, I just won three months of life. Of course, half goes to BPC and I'm keeping most of it in the BR. But goddamn. Feels good boys.

I was considering moving to playing four days a week and studying two of the other days, but I think I am sticking with my three days a week plan. This gives me some maneuverability with how I spend my time and I still think there is a lot that I can work on. I wanna be one of the best, not just a winner at the micros. I hope I can say I'm a winning player at the micros. Sure feels like it

Nice bink!

Preflop I'd typically raise to 5x + x per limper, so with 4 limpers, I'd go $18. But if you know that the players on your table are super stationy, then sizing it up to $25 can actually be great. I like your sizing.

Flop is a clear x/fold. As annoying as it sounds, you basically have to x/fold any flop where there's even a single overcard in a 5way pot, and that's going to be about 60% of flops when you have JJ. Luckily, it checked through...

Turn is a fistpump jam. There's $125 in the pot and you've got $125 behind on a super wet board. You can get called by plenty of draws, such as a FD or a pair+OESD. If they're the kind of players to limp-call $25 preflop then they're probably even awful enough to call it off with a hand like KT or 85o here. So I definitely want to be jamming here. Your sizing of $25 is far, far too small.

As played facing the min-raise, I'm going to just jam my whole stack in here. Your 20% pot bet was so small that he could be raising a lot of worse hands here like 2pr. There's a huge difference between betting 80% pot and facing a min-raise vs betting 20% pot and facing a min-raise. Ideally I'd never reach this spot though because I'd have jammed the turn.

Gratz on the win though and I hope you had fun at the home game.

Thanks man! My cash game strats can definitely use some work, but I think it was moreso about having a good time than it was crushing the game, so I can live down that one hand at least haha

I’ve been thinking about this a bit recently, and I am now 100% sure that I have made a profit playing poker. I never kept meticulous records of the drunken days, but I thought that I lost somewhere between 2-3k CAD playing live in Vancouver. According to my CFP tracker, I have made a profit of a little over 6k CAD since the start of this poker journey with my win tonight. I can finally say that I have won money playing poker. It is a net profit both for the mind and in the wallet. Feels good

Finally got a hold of the local golf pros today and it sounds like there are no jobs available for me. Which is fine. Means I have more time for poker

Golf is gonna take a healthy chunk out of my savings. I am looking at a $1.1k investment at the one course. If I go to the other course, it can be anywhere from $640 for just golf or $935 for range as well. The difference is a couple hundred, but it will also come down to whether I have a car or not, which course I feel like walking, which course my one golf buddy wants to play at, etc. It’s gonna be a healthy chunk, but it’ll be worth it

For my victory celebration last night I went out to a local bar and got some chocolate chip cookies. Very satisfying.

Gonna hop back on the study grind tomorrow. Still lots of work to do

Not sure if cfp is worth the damage to your bankroll/liferoll.