About time we update here. Having managed to burn 25BI after 20k hands
I wasnt sure if it made sense for me to continue with this. Reasons?
Ever since I started out poker (I was a huge ego trippin aggrofish for a very
long time) I thought myself to find reasons for bad results everywhere but
within myself.
This time I think im being fully honest to myself when I say - the reson was
everything but my own game. At some point I just did not wanna believe
what I was seeing. When they flip over nuts after nuts U kind of get into a
negative mindset expecting that to continue - and when It does its hard to
stay confident. U are on a somewhat defensive side. U start avoiding Slight
+ev spots because u figure they are high varience and thats something u
dont want right now.
I also start questioning my game - have I forgotten how to play?
I should be accustomed by the varience by now and each time I do handle it
somewhat better but this one "hurt" even more since it happened right on
the beggining of a challenge. I was super motivated at the beginning of this
challenge, had huge expectations..wanted to prove things to myself.. the world.
Should play only 2 tables, give it the best I had..
I avoided updating here until I had a clear mind again.
Meanwhile Ive done a lot of useful off table work, and I can say my confidence
has returned.
I have analyzed my game deeply and so the game of the population.
I believe Ive come to some great conclusions and Im very proud of it.
For the first time im not reproducing something ive been thought but im thinking
entirely on my own, and on such a level I never thought it was possible for me.
After bit more than a month the volume is low. Thats partially because I started playing
a bit elsewhere as well but thats still experimental.
I still believe I can pull this off, but "running late" 37k hands Ill need a hell of a rungood
at some point.
Letsgooooo!!