This is a hopefully anonymous (please respect if you recognize me) journal for me for personal accountability. I'm playing on Bovada currently and may expand to ACR and Seals with Clubs. Will be playing PLO, primarily HU with some 6m on acr or seals if action is slow.

I'll be doing live 1/2 & 2/5 nlhe sessions periodically at a local room.

I don't have any volume goals. My goals are all about mental game:
1. Don't play even subtly tilted, immediately sit out.
2. Don't spew at higher stakes/blackjack

For a progress goal, like my thread title says, I want to break even and everything else is gravy. I'm very patient and have a lot of time to make this work.

Current roll is roughly 3.9k.
Some benchmarks i'll be following are:
At 2.5k I'll do a state of the union and review my plans. I don't expect to lose 25+ buyins playing at 25&50pl.
At 5k I'll add 100pl HU.
Between 8-12k I'll add 200pl HU.
Between 18-20k I'll 400pl HU.

Each time I add in higher tables, I'll move back down after losing 5 buyins.
Since most of my play is on Bovada, i'll play regs indefinitely as the 50-200pl regs are not very good relative to the stakes. On ACR i'll play any American but sit out vs eastern european regs.

I use table tamer, omaha indicator, hm2, and some alternative cards/chips from mod maniac (shoutout) to make multisiting and mass tabling comfortable. Going forward I'll start off playing max 2 at a time good value $11 mtts, 2 tables 25 hupl, 2 tables 50hupl with eventually a goal of adding back in sitting 2-4 more hu tables on acr and 6m tables on acr/swc when action is dead.

I'll be playing off and on for the next two years.
Here is a graph of my ACR plo results this fall; 98% 25&50pl with some 100/200pl vs bad regs that asked to play higher:

HU plo only:

12 evbb/100 over all hands so far while playing ~80% A+ game but I still love ACR's 27% rakeback. It's mentally soothing to get a guaranteed hourly.

TS
Here's a photo my father took. I'll consider uploading them as conclusions to my longer posts:

I'm working on a few issues in my life that I'll mention my progress on throughout this thread. I've had some bumps in my life dealing with paralyzing depression where after it gets bad enough, I simply can't do anything. Some of the negative feedback loops that occur as a complementary issue are perpetual drinking and seeking methods of escapism -- focusing on women at the wrong time/too much, smoking weed, staying in a mentally muddy, constantly tipsy state, video games, and poker.

To combat these issues I'm trying every day to be more disciplined and work on positive feedback loops. Drinking less often, colder showers, working out 6 days a week, playing my sax, making an effort to spend time socializing, keeping on top of classwork, doing laundry regularly.. These things might sound normal but to me doing them takes a lot more energy when I'm 'stuck in the mud,' so to say. At my worst state, I physically couldn't get out of bed even to use the bathroom or eat. Thankfully those days are far behind me and I'm trying to work on a life of which I can be proud.

Did a recount of my roll (as it's in several places) and realized I was off by +100 so started at 3.8k. Played 25&50pl for an hour today and am +$398. Ran very hot.

Also made it to class, ran 2 miles, played my sax, and ate two meals. Slept a little too long. A good day so far. Still have to work out some issues with the gf in the next few days. Tonight I'm off to play some 10 handed 1/2 uncapped live tonight and read 180pp on torture/do a reading response. I'm ready to nit it up lol. Should end up being a productive day! I'm shooting for as many genuinely happy, productive or relaxing days from now till May 2018.

"[Inner] peace is a journey of a thousand miles and it must be taken one step at a time." -LBJ

Quick update:
Played a little too much for the balance I'm trying to achieve. Will spend saturday-monday doing homework hopefully 10+ hours each day.

Did a 1/2 nlhe live session that turned into a 1/2/5 shorthanded plo game where I was stuck 700ish. Then played a $850 plo HU freezeout (lol brm tho) that I won fairly straightforwardly. It was a spot that I didn't want to pass up although the being stuck part factored into agreeing to it.

Did well online and roll is at 4.5k. Going forward I'll be noting only the swings of my Bovada roll. Presently it is at $2075.

Put in the school hours. On pace with work so far. Patched things up with gf, spent some time at an art gallery today with her which was pleasant. Still need to finish some work before midnight as well as hopefully run and play my sax... will be a time crunch.

Bovada @ $1800 flat. Played some rivers poorly, making some adjustments on those spots. Nothing too significant. Also for the longest time I opened to 2.5x bb and cbet 3bb but I think that the reasons for doing that don't outweigh the benefits of 3x bb & cbet 3-5bb based on texture. I think hotkeys and the grind made me lazy so fixed that. Fwiw the HU graph above was using 2.5 bb pre & 3bb on all flops that I cbet which is hilarious that what I think is a major sizing mistake can still print.

Loaned out $600 at no interest for the first week then 1%/day after that. Should be fine since I wouldn't use it and I'm 100% certain that he'll pay me back. I'm hoping he doesn't pay me back anytime soon tho so it grows.

Now to finish econ homework and write a research paper tomorrow. Staying happy which is good. 886 days till graduation.

Cool, Subbed. Wheres the best place to learn strat for PLO/PLOHU?

I'd recommend RIO, nutblocker, 2p2 hh review, tri nyugens plo book, and tom chambers adv plo vol 1 & 2.


Got most of my work done. Happy with the progress although I have absolutely 0 motivation to do more work right now. Went for a run today and 2 of my 3 classes. Spent some quality time with the gf last night and at dinner. It's nice to get an energy recharge midway through the day from her. Trying to get rid of a small gut i've developed from too much beer and too little lifting. It'll probably be gone by the time I'm back here in January.

Had a bloodbath of a session tonight where I was stuck 11bi at one point and was probably 8 bi under allin ev ignoring the coolers. I got 2-6 outted 3x ott by the same dude in 4bet pots. Incredible tbh but he didn't quit me till I busted him so can't complain tbh.

Bovada @1786 at the start of the session i'm beginning before I finish up my work tonight.

Just massacred a reg that sat 3 of my tables at the same time when action was dead so I was pretty sure it was the same guy from the start.

Bovada roll @2269. On to the homeworks.

I violated my rules and put myself into too high stress of a situation then didn't exercise the personal responsibility or discipline to stop myself. 1st I should have stopped playing and done my work. That's the most significant. 2nd. I should have stayed @ 50 while losing. 8-10bi losses are standard. 3rd. I shouldn't have sat 400pl HU and consciously said to myself, I shouldn't do this -- but **** it. 4th I shouldn't have reloaded another buyin. 5th I shouldn't have sat 10/20 with a half stack after losing @ 400pl.

These were my only goals:
1. Don't play even subtly tilted, immediately sit out.
2. Don't spew at higher stakes/blackjack

I violated my rules. I don't feel good. I don't like this. I played my last 80k hands tilt free and then today went off the deep end. I thought this was behind me. It's absolutely unacceptable.

I'm going to think about this for a little before I decide how to continue. Something punitive, something restrictive, and some task to complete before I continue seem appropriate.

I do know one thing: I'm not stopping. 884 days till graduation.

Bovada roll @2082.

"There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self." -Aldous Huxley

Played 50pl till I hit 5k roll, added in 100pl. Nice little upswing. I started keeping an excel sheet because I just couldn't handle not having my results tracked anymore. I'll include some tidbits from it further down the line. I'm genuinely curious what my hourly is 4 tabling HU on bovada at these limits.

Will drop down if Bovada hits 2150.

Bovada roll @2887

I haven't figured out what I'm going to do wrt to punitive, restrictive, and task for my punishments. Considering cutting out drinking for an undetermined length of time as the restrictive. Might do 100 chess tactics problems a day for a week as the task. And give my 8th of weed away to a friend for free instead of using it. A sober life seems like the best route to go down.

882 days till graduation.

Gave away my weed. Don't have any more alcohol in my room. I'm continuing to play 50pl even tho I hit the mark for 100pl. I want to put more hours in at 50 first given the ridiculous heater and tilt episode. I feel comfortable with my game overall tho.

Bovada roll @$2969 to start today's first session.

881 days till graduation.

PLO was swingy today. Down 12 bi, then 10 bi back for close to even. Cashed for 3004 in a mtt. Taking 2487 off.

Didn't drink, didn't smoke. I have to write a paper this weekend and gym/sax before I sleep. Cutting down on masturbating as tool for an emotional band-aid is next on the vice-slashing list.

Bovada roll @5692-2487 = $3205.

The grind goes on.

880 days till graduation.

Also some thoughts on which limit to play when:

At the beginning I wanted to accomplish a few tasks: Have a better life, live a healthier lifestyle, and slowly but steadily work my way back up HU plo. I've been doing the former two well so far, I think. Although I should spend more time on homework. Wrt to the 3rd, I believe that with the most minor game selection, namely sitting out vs one reg who is a complete sicko and is super obvious despite it being anonymous, I'm +EV at 400pl HU on Bovada. So from a purely $EV standpoint I should want to move up as quickly as possible.

There are some very important other considerations though, aside from $/hr. Right now my total roll is just a tad under 8k so I could, according to my first post's guidelines, start shotting 200pl. I don't want to put myself in a situation where I will endanger my roll. The tilting episode was absurdly out of character given my play this year and I want to make sure it was a freak event, not something that has an even tiny probability of recurring if I lost 1k @ 200pl. So on that front, I want to know myself better. I want to make sure I'm comfortable at higher stakes again.

In terms of volume, I want to get more than the 10k hands I played so far under my belt before moving up to 100pl. It's just such a small sample. I don't need 200k, especially since I only see max 400 hands/hr without ACR, but something like another 15k hands with 2 tables 50pl and 2 tables 100pl is something I'm considering.

In terms of life expenses and buyins relative to my costs, I don't personally have any major expenses so having hundreds of dollars swing either way is already an order of magnitude more than my spending and there's no rush to get to higher stakes in terms of life need.

Also ime the 50pl player pool feels distinctly different to the 100pl player pool. They make many more mistakes and tilt/spew faster and for more. They call wider on rivers and peel too wide or too tight on flops. Just much easier to exploit. Also there's more reg action @ 100pl than 50pl. I just 3 tabled a weak reg @ 50 for 500 some hands who was quite easy to exploit but at the end of the day rake will make it almost a waste of time.

At 50pl the rake is a much higher % of winrate than at 100pl though which is a big incentive to move up faster.

Finally final tabling the mtt helps add $ to the bankroll but that $ wasn't won through huplo which I think is important to keep in mind for gauging whether to functionally skip a limit. I won't jump directly into 200pl.

All considered I'll likely just play two weeks or so more of 50pl then move up permanently assuming I feel good.

Bovada roll @$3159.

(technically) 879 days till graduation.

you must really hate college if you count down from now on

GL anyways

An unstated super long term goal is to have the option to support myself via part time poker when I graduate. I'm looking into many other paths in life and don't think I'd ever view poker as more than a part-time job that could generate side income. I want to create something of value and provide a stable life for a family, neither of which poker does sufficiently. Business, prop trading forex, or something I haven't found yet are the most likely avenues I'll head down in life. Maybe 20 hours of fx, poker, and 20 on some startup for a flexible 60 hour work week that can have more or less hours dictated by me. I know that I don't want to work for the "man" if I can avoid it and that I have the opportunities in life to accomplish something great. Poker is only along the journey, it's not THE journey for me.

So I count down to constantly remind myself of where I want to be and to not falter down the path when the going gets tough.


In other news, played a small amount. Today went well. I have oodles of work to do now.

There is one choice i'm mulling over. My schools an ivy and has lots of people interested in finance who want to play microstakes homegames. I don't want to play for $5. We've had a few 25nl games but even that is a little tedious despite vpipping like 75%. I don't think there's enough interest in 50nl+ so I'm stuck playing lower if I want social interaction along with poker. On the one hand, the people mostly aren't who I'd hang around with outside of poker but on the other hand I don't have many friends here and haven't found many other strategy-oriented people that approach it with the intensity I do. It's also a little awkward because I feel self-conscious if I ask for a game to pop off given the obvious ev I'm reaping from the game so it's tricky, especially since the hosts are fairly ineffectual organizers with no experience organizing games so if I just show up it's a ****show and if I guide it may come off predatory which runs counter to social interaction/friends as a goal. To go to 25nl home games or not. Meh.

Bovada roll @$3663.

Motivation at an all-time high. Running bad. About a 2 buyin loss of play-bad and the rest is normal swing.

I've been working on speedbag exercises that are some of the most exhilarating and motivating workouts I've ever done. My hands are so sore.

Went to a 25nl homegame and was in for 80 & out for 150 without looking sharky and was a positive addition to the atmosphere/teaching new people. Seemed fine. Not worth the time for the hourly and one guy who's a tryhard is a bit of a downer on the feel but overall a 6/10 may do again. When I introduced them to the straddle I realized I'd made a grave mistake. Sure they don't want to play .25/.50 but they love to triple straddle. I don't get it. I'm not sure they do either.

Total roll is around 7.5k. Gf's birthday is coming up this week, dunno what to get her. A russian salsa dancer that lives a very modest lifestyle and wants to be a doctor. Any suggestions?

Bovada roll @2747.

Took another 2.95k off bovada with like 200 left. Will play some live over christmas and don't want to have it as a distraction during finals.

Great stuff, good work.

Thanks, I appreciate the kind words especially from you.


Played live last night and cashed out +540. Had an interesting spot where 4 handed, straddle on button I opened to 20 out of SB with QsQ and bet-bet-tank jammed on a 854ssJsAs runout where river shove was about 160 for ~80% of pot and we were 3 handed to flop & turn. Game broke after it. I think there can be a long discussion about whether to check or bet river especially since villain is capable enough to have hands like 8o6s calling turn bet otb ott and my perceived value range is probably very narrow (he likely doesn't think I play QsQ this way so he might perceive it as tight as exclusively KsK and KQss/KTss since AoKs doesn't bet flop...) also unusually high rake considerations make me open very tight from SB so I don't have much connecting with flop and As otr weights me heavily towards bluff combos (assuming I fire river with weak made hands, which I think he believes I do considering I had a hand an hour earlier vs him where on a AT6ddKd7o board I bet check bet with Q6ss where river bet was $85 for 75% pot and showed to the fish I wanted to call me who told villain, a dealer/reg, I had showed an offsuit 6.) All in all I really like the tank jam with 2nd nut to balance timings/adjust for my bluff imbalance otr with wider value.

Total roll around 8.45k. Will stick something tiny like $100 into an fx account over christmas to get started.
Got two finals tomorrow that i'm prepping for.

874 days till graduation.

Well I finished my finals. They were reasonable. Now I've got 1.1 psets to finish and 1.8 term papers. Should be done by this weekend then I'm free on break.

Also had an absolutely gross session at the 25nl home game that turned into 50nl with straddle. Was in for 750 and out for 730. Got coolered six or seven times and didn't show most hands. They all think I'm awful and don't care about money now which I guess is a good thing. Also played a short 1/2 live session and was out for +80.

I don't think I'll be playing as much poker over break and will spend the time decompressing and with family. Def will have a few live sessions tho.

Had some small expenses, total roll around 8.25k.

871 days till graduation.

Played a brief live session and was out for +$22. Nothing noteworthy about the session. Still taking a break from online. Going to enjoy home for a bit. Finishing up one final term paper too.

868 days till graduation. I wonder if I'll keep this thread going the whole time.

Sub'd. I'm also a PLO reg on bovada. Mostly mid-high stakes 6max tho. Wish you the best

Thank you. Maybe we'll clash in a year or two. Hope ya run good.


Played some live 2/5 tonight for about three hours, +1311. Super straightforward session. Had one close decision between b and x when it was live 10 and 5 limps to me in the SB, one short stack on button @ 120 rest are 350+, I made it 85 with AQo and got called only by straddler who is playing 700, I cover. Flop is J66r, I cbet 90 he called. Turn is Kd for fd. I bet 190. It's a spot where I can make a bet that's relatively small to the pot size and get a huge # of folds because none of his hands that continue can really call river besides 6x and KJ that might raise flop or turn since I have huge leverage. He might have called with some hands like 88 too otf that I get to fold out. Considered checking, which I think there is a strong argument for, but ended up betting and taking it down.

Not 100% sure because last time I counted my cash I was missing a $100 bill (???) that I keep in stacks of 10 but roll is around 9.5k after some expenses.

Enjoyed reading! Good luck in the future!

Thank you.


This is my online record from 12/9 to 12/15:


I'm going to set a loose $ goal of having a 25k roll by June 1st. I've been running very hot recently, and I recognize that so a realistic $ goal would probably be around 15-16k although I'll shoot much higher.

The most important thing for the grind this spring is maintaining discipline. No tilting! I'm going to play 100pl when I get back. I'd like to achieve an additional +40-60bi before moving up to 200pl even tho my original post said I could be shotting 200pl by now.

At 8bb/100 it would take me on average 208 hours to win 50 buyins given 300 hands/hr. So rough target is 200pl around the beginning of March. I think this is reasonable and would put me far ahead of the schedule I'd had in mind when I started this thread. Also by playing 200pl as soon as March, I have a good chance of hitting the 25k roll goal by June.

I'm very aware of the hourly difference between what a lower four figure roll and what a higher four / lower five figure roll permits so I'm going to be fairly conservative till I'm better established at this level of swing and hourly.

As far as playing tournaments on the side, I'll keep to a 250bi brm strategy and play turbos. I recognize they definitely add to my long term hourly but given the stupid amount of variance in them and that I want these to be supplementary, not a focus, I think it's wiser to keep the buyins small relative to my roll. That still lets me play up to 40s. I just don't want to allow the situation where I play a few Sunday $162s and brick them all then be out a grand in tournaments while downswinging in cash games and feel like it's hopeless.

As of last night I'm playing some 3/5 over break which I don't have all of my action for so I'll update the results of that once I'm done. Was up a buyin last night.
And I might be in Vegas for ~4 days over NYE with my brother which would be sweet. That's just an idea tho.
Does anyone have suggestions of cheap places to stay and things to do besides gamble?

I actually think this is so important I'll tack it on as an immediate follow-on post.

I forgot to say this: My $ goals are just projections, they aren't expectations. I completely accept whatever iteration of variance that I grind through in these next few months and will approach each session trying my very best to play my A game, keeping sessions distinct and not letting either an upswing or a downswing get to me mentally or emotionally. If I'm down 3k when June rolls around, I'd be disappointed and examine how it occurred, but I'd keep my chin up and keep grinding.