Update for Jan 1st - Jan 20th
So I have been feeling stuck in my poker career for a very long time . I started playing at the same time that I created my 2p2 account got up to 10nl by August 1st 2014 and I have been stuck there for the last 18 months . Right now guess what stake I am playing ? Yeah you guessed it , 10nl.
What do I have to learn from this ? Well first of all it's clear that I am here not by mistake or because of variance , no . I am here because I have not learned more . Now the question is : What is it that I am supposed to learn ?
Is it discipline ? Is it strategy ? Is it mindset ? Is it all of the above ? What will take me to the next level ? These are the questions that are running through my head at the moment . Life is giving me a lesson which I have not passed for the last one a half years . It's just not clicking in my head .
No man, it's not the rake . Stop blaming the "rake-trap", it's me . It's not my BRM either . So I am down to mindset and strategy . What is my mindset like ? I think that I am very anxious in general as a person which means I am very anxious about results , especially when they are bad . I have worked on this during the time that I have been playing with some success . The thing is that I know how a good winning player feels like . I have beaten 5nl for 10bb/100 for a large sample so I know what variance feels like when I am a good winning player . The fact is that I am not one at 10nl . 10nl is not done with me, I need to learn something very well before I am allowed to pass .
I think the thing that I need to understand is that people who are stuck at 10nl ARE NOT STUPID . I am not stupid and I am still stuck here . I have to be honest and say that I do have that mentality ( starting to see a trend here ) ; the mentality that : "they are stupeeeed I can just print money from them" . Apparently not . I can't print money and they are not stupid , they are in fact just as good/smart as I am in poker . Just as good as I am , let that sink in for a minute ...
What does that mean ? It means that while I am playing at this lovely stake I am not playing against the guys at 5nl which are below me , no . I am playing against me ! So I need to beat myself ! WOW ! I am having this revelation as I am writing this . I have found that for me what works best is to express what I am feeling inside with words, it helps me create explicit knowledge . I am not so good with tacit knowledge to be fair , I am a rational guy .
So back to what I was saying before . They play the same game that I do at 10nl , I am playing against myself (more or less) . What does this mean ?... It means that whatever decision I have to make in every hand, I have to put myself in their shoes because they are me and I need to beat me in order to level up .
I need to finish college, lol that was a jump. Not for the diploma, not for my parents, not because I want to be involved with what my university degree will say that I am prepared to do . I have to do it for me, as a training . I didn't feel like I needed to finish medschool but I just jumped back in the university game very fast, that means that I have to finish this in order to evolve to the next level of myself . My current struggle with university is that I have the ****tiest colleagues and professors which, LOL, was the same thing that happened at medschool . I need to finish university in order for me to deal with annoying, ****ty people or else I will continue to bump into these characters for the rest of my life or until I learn how to deal with them .
So I have gotten two HUGE revelations while writing this . Firstly that I NEED to finish college in order to learn how to deal with that type of people . Secondly I have to think as though I am playing against myself when I am playing my current stake, each and every decisions I have to put myself in that guy's shoes . WOW !
I will put here the graph for this month . I have to add that I am currently in a staking deal with a friend who is also coaching me . I just realized now that a coach can only teach you whatever you are ready to learn . The graph includes a shot at 25nl where I lost 7 BIs.
Last edited by danufcs; 01-21-2016 at 03:37 AM.
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