Thanks! Finally back home in Vegas after an amazing time away. Going to take a day or two to get back to it, but definitely got the recharge I needed and looking forward to going pedal to the metal all series long!!!

First ten days in the books for the month and it's been rather uneventful results wise for me thus far.

I have played 4 tournaments with zero cashes. I did make a day 2 and get near the money bubble in the PH $1million GTD but lost a flip and was sent packing cashless. Also got down to about 600 left of 1600 in Giant Flight A and had a working stack and then just crashed and burned in 2 hands to finish a few hundred out of the money as well.

Because my tourneys have been either at RIO or PH, that's where most of my cash game action has been played for the month as well. I've had a rollercoaster ride in cash, starting out strong, but running pretty terrible the last few nights and am basically back to even for the month.

Poker is always a mental battle, whether we are winning or losing. Neither is necessarily easy to temper, as when we are winning and doing very well, we can quickly become overconfident and make rather large mistakes without even acknowledging that we are, because we are winning. These habits can be detrimental to our long term progress. Conversely, and perhaps more common, when we are losing, we can lose confidence in our knowledge and abilities and start to second guess our thoughts and baseline strategies and make equally bad decisions and less profitable and even losing plays as a result.

It is very important to take a moment and step back and analyze and realize if and when we hit one or the other of these instances. If we aren't being brutally honest with ourselves in these moments, it can spiral downward and make it that much more difficult to get back on track producing the expected and desired results we have set out to achieve.

Feels good to take this moment to self examine things so that as my very big and important month carries on, I can be in the right mindset to battle through each session, and each tourney and play my best!

Gl man, how many more tourneys you playing this summer?

Thanks bud!

A handful at least.. In the Milly Maker today, and a few others on the schedule and perhaps a few more if I'm feeling good about my play!

Missed bagging in the Milly Maker by less than an hour... had built up to 25k at bb600 and then we lost a 3 way all in with KK against AK and ATo when the ATo 4flushed us... sadface.jpg.

Got it in with KQo for last 7 bbs in a great spot to triple up against TT after we open rip, get called in 1 spot by big stack, then another stack ISO rips and gets us HU and we are flipping! Couldn't ask for much more than that... well, other than winning the flipament...

Next big one is Monster stack, with some smaller stuff prob mixed in between, along with a strong push in cash volume as the nights have been busy, and the action has been good.

0-5 on the tourney front... yawn. Been there, done that. The grind marches on!

Was browsing my own thread from the early posts (as I often do to gain perspective on how my journey is going and has evolved, good, bad, and indifferent) and found this little gem that has huge application to where I'm at in this months grind. Thanks Tyman!!!

I have found myself constantly battling my fear of continued losses (big or small) lately, and it has been hard to get out of my own minds' way at times when I know I need to just grind through and put in the volume needed. I am not at all happy with my results big picture wise when stretching back to late last year, (lots of mini break even stretches stuck between some ok winning months) and it plays a small role in my unconsciousness and being able to always just put my best foot forward and play my A game I am capable of.

This little stroll down memory lane should help to remind me, that even as I battle these mental game demons over and over again, I can still play well and work towards achieving my desired success and results, even when it may seemingly be taking longer than I like, especially if I can't always be that "A game version of myself".

I feel like I should be happily playing and crushing 2/5 on a regular basis but the fact is, at least in Vegas, the games have been very lackluster and hit or miss during my scheduled play times lately. My winrate has declined over the course of the aforementioned break even stretches in those games. It is disheartening to say the least.

Of course with the WSOP here, things have improved overall in game quality, but still, the 2/5 games aren't jumping off the map in amazing action as I feel they have in the past quite as much. Even further, I haven't logged hardly any 5T hours as of yet, and just thinking about that sort of depresses me as well.

It is still my goal to play bigger, and more often. The importance factor of doing so just for the sake of saying "I play bigger games" isn't any little bit of the reasoning behind my being dissatisfied with my current mental reactions. I'm doing very well to keep ego in check with this thought process, in my opinion. It's purely about personal achievement and improvement, along with the ability to make more money and open up more doorways and possibilities in my life journey.

I'm not sure if I've captured everything in this post exactly as it is weighing internally on my mind, specifically in relation to what my current mental game weaknesses are, but just putting these words down here and now will certainly help keep me self aware and working in the right direction toward overcoming such weaknesses.

haha nice. consistent volume (assuming you are playing with a positive expectation) really is just incredibly important when you are a professional. sucks to hear the nl games are getting worse year by year, i've noticed the same at 5/10 over the past few years. Every year i go out the 5/10 games seem more hit or miss and theres rarely a 10/25 going that is worth sitting in. I'm moving more and more towards playing all the different games though as not only is it more fun to play mix games, it also just gives you more versatility to select from whatever game looks the best to always try to max the hourly as much as possible. anyways, im sure you'll turn it around soon, just keep getting in that cash volume when you can (or just run good and bink off the monster stack lol).

Have been getting a few hours in here and there the last week, but haven't felt my best so length of sessions and total hours definitely down from the norm. Unfortunate timing of course, but battling a little physical sickness (mini Legionairres, lol) and lack of energy to go with my mental struggles and tourney woes this month.

Next up for my WSOP package is the Monster stack. This is for sure my most anticipated and highest expectation of a tournament for my entire schedule. It's basically a mini main event as far as structure goes compared to everything else on my schedule for the series. Hopefully I have a day 2 to report about, followed by a cash, then a ladder jump all the way to a life changing final table.

Stay tuned...

Gl, win a bracelet for your thread followers

I like the sound of this, thank you!

No bracelet to be had yet. Did not get past dinner break of day 1. Playing either WPT500 or PH500 next couple days, then Golden Nugget Main Event at end of week to wrap up my action I sold. Let's see if we can't salvage this month yet!

Played a pretty sick uncapped 1/2/4 (straddled couple times per orbit regularly) game at the nugget over the weekend and got smashed in a couple big pots. The 2nd one got to me a bit when a very young twenty something who was playing a 60/40 vpip/pfr for about an hour flatted a 3b oop against me and then lead out on TT3hh flop. He started the hand 100bbs deep, but by the time he flatted my 3b he only had an SPR 1 (straddled multiway pot he raised so we sized up fairly big with our 3b and our premium hand).

He lead out into me half pot and we just put him all in with the overpair. Before he puts his chips in, he looks at me, flipping off his headphones and hood and says "just give me all the chips now" then puts his remaining chips in the pot. He doesn't reveal his hand right away and I am a little confused at his demeanor but just assume he must have quads. Haha. Sure enough he stands up and slams down the TT on the table and we don't runner runner quads, and lose the pot.

At this point I'm doing ok dealing with his lack of class, and am quietly taking the beat just fine, but the table is reacting to him in a bit of a negative way, and someone starts talking to him about his conduct and he just carries on like, well, a twenty something ego in a game he probably has a lot to learn about from a mental and experience sort of way would act.

I could feel my mental game starting to slide in the following orbits, as this kid would not stop talking about poker and strategy with all the other fish at the table. He had a very loud voice, and was talking over the dealer and other players constantly. He collected his high hand bonus and was stacking chips and just outwardly pea-cocking about how great he was. It was very comedic to me for a few minutes. But alas, I could feel the urge to talk some sense into him rising up inside me, so I just went for a walk to let it subside and be prepared to keep playing my best game in a very good action game.

When I returned he was still there carrying on as he had been, and I just quietly played for another hour or so, of ignoring the banter. I ended up getting stacked in another pot when we flopped bottom set and gii on flop in 3b pot and was against AA. The board ran out a pure 4-flush for the AA and again we were in second place by the river in a big pot. I knew I was going to slide further away from A-game poker as I still had to listen to the kid talking about strategies in general and was now down pretty big, so I decided to call it a day.

I don't generally talk in so many details about the specific hands or table occurrences here in the thread, but I felt it appropriate to vent somewhere and push myself to get back on track for my next session.

With my lackluster results of late in both tournaments and cash, I know I need to really dig down deep and strengthen my mental fortitude. Journaling this out definitely helps me do that and continue to stay very self aware of where my game is session by session.

As I write this out, I have completed some physical activity this morning and meditated and am back on the horse and ready for my next session.

Ugh those people are the worst. Part of it definitely has to do with him being young and inexperienced I'm sure, but someone who does stuff like that is also more often than not just a douche. His lack of self awareness will not serve him well in his chances at long term success in poker.

I like how V thinks he is king ding-a-ling flopping quads and talking **** about geting your stack. Sounds like you showed great restraint and resolution, not to let the misfortune and poor conduct put you on fbt.

Quality post yet again man. Thanks for sharing!

June was a pretty subpar month overall for results unfortunately. We were strong out of the gate in cash games, but ended up on a bit of a slide to end the month and we didn't show a profit, closing out down just over 1 $2/$5 buy in.

Games were hit and miss overall when we sat 2/5 cash games, but of course the 1/2 and 1/3 was good just about everywhere when we played those stakes.

Our tournament package has gone a whopping 0 out of 10 for cashes, so that really added insult to injury on the month. Couple of near cashes (haha so sad to even have to say it that way) including 2 bubbles like literally an orbit from the money twice, sigh.

Overall I'm ok with my efforts, even though we didn't get to shot take anything above 2/5 on the month. I hit just 80 hours of cash game volume which is of course a little light, but when you play 10 large field MTTs and play long days, sometimes making a day 2, it takes a lot out of you.

As I'm into July, I have a few shots at playing the Main Event, but I've already settled on the fact that it's quite possible I won't play it this year. It truly is the single best tournament of any poker players year, but I don't want to put any unnecessary added attention to that fact in my mind that makes me commit more than I can chew bankroll and otherwise. Had my summer package that I sold shown some semblance of success, I would have prob just sold a bunch and played anyway. Going on such a cold run in tournaments can certainly take a little out of the soul and there is no "must play" thought in my mind this year like there was last year for my first shot.

I'm not going to force those sorts of shots, and I will just keep on doing my best to plug along and improve as much as I can technically and mentally at the tables.

Looking forward to an overall slower July after the series is done, and hoping to work on some day to day routines that should help continue my journey along the path to success!

I've been enjoying a slightly slower month of poker activity now that the series has ended. Vegas generally dies pokerwise for a while, although weekends are always a constant here (for at least low stakes good games) so not all is lost. I decided to keep my July hours goal at 120 hours and not completely abandon working this month, but I'm well short of that as of right now, and I don't really see myself pushing too hard just to get there. If I have a couple more long sessions this week somehow and get close, that is great, but otherwise I'm very ok with the slowed down pace as I mentally recuperate from my dismal series performance.

I've done well to slowly put together some winning sessions this month and basically erase a portion of my downswing and I hope to conclude July with a nice little profit boost to my year. This for sure is my worst year, results wise so far since I jumped on the cash game train, but we have a solid 5+ months for me to really keep a strong mental attitude and work ethic, and turn the year back around. It is a little disheartening when I look at my overall cash game earnings and hourly this year, but having a solid grasp and understanding on just how break even stretches and downswings are just a part of the process in this career choice keeps me encouraged to know that as long as the things I can control (volume, technical game improvements to minimize in game mistakes, mental game fortitude), the rest will work itself out.

Plugging away online the past week more than I have played in several months (and that's not a hard number to be able to beat as my online play this year overall is verrrrreey low) has me also excited to be able to do some better in depth studies like I was doing on a monthly basis in years past. I have definitely let some of that part of my overall goals slip, and primarily all I have done is hand history reviews with friends and coaches via texts and in person of live hands played. While this is great to do, I am missing such a huge piece to this puzzle when I am not taking the time to go over equilab hand ranges, combos, and the deep down math of spots, along with all the other benefits of picking apart online hand histories that I get when I am getting a steady diet of online play and then post play analysis.

On top of this, the play online is always so much better in general in most of the games I'm playing, so it challenges me to improve myself much more so than playing live low stakes ever challenges me. It's this challenge that should again better train my unconscious competence to play technically sound poker when I am playing the bigger games, where I personally tend to have more mental game weaknesses and leaks show up. I have noticed a lot this year, when I'm playing bigger, or in tougher line ups, my mental game weaknesses really rear their ugly heads much more than when I'm playing the smaller stakes unchallenging games. It's in these moments that I cannot afford to be making in game line mistakes that can be the make or break of winning and losing for that session. On the technical side of my game in these instances, I have found my bet sizing to be way off sometimes in post game analysis, which has a negative trickle down effect to what I'm trying to truly accomplish in a hand overall. (Getting max value, or putting my opponent to the best test I possibly can by arriving at a river and playing it perfectly to have my value bets and bluffs all work the way I'm hoping they will with high frequency).

Couple days left on the July grind, so looking to turn the heat up to match the literal heat outside, and go for that strong close, as always!

Closed out July with light volume and booked a small winning month as far as results go, but not enough winnings to get me out of my long break even stretch just yet. With August already a third over, I have amped up volume again and should be tracking for a solid month of hours, even with a full week off at the end of the month for some more travel. Headed to Hilton Head, South Carolina for the first time ever, so really looking forward to some long overdue beach bumming!

I'll be in Phx for the next 5 days trying to make my way to the top of the Az State Poker Championship tournament leader board, and am hoping to get some decent cash game action there as well as hang out with some friends I haven't seen for a while. Although my online picked up a bit volume wise last month, August will be a minimal to none month for online volume due to the travels. I will look ahead to September to probably get that online push back up. I always feel more in tune to my study habits when I am putting in the volume online, and my off the felt habits need to be shaped back up to what they were at the start of this journey. Being in a tough breakeven stretch throughout this year really is testing my mental game to the core, so it's more important than ever that my study habits don't suffer.

Part of my goals for the second half of 2017 is to work on some personal improvement stuff which includes less social media time wasting and more productivity day in and day out. I am really going to focus on the inner me, and really just want to have some results in improving my physical self, my mental self, and my business self.

After I spent a very exhausting summer reading and following along a very poker heavy Facebook and Twitter timeline, along with my personal daily SnapChat updating of every moment of my grind, I am quite burned out from it all. I think taking a break from those things and spending more time reading more beneficial material and studying the game in a more defined routine will really help me stay sharp and on top of my mental game. I also want to spend more time writing again, a hobby (even part time job at one point) that I have completely abandoned the last few years. I've always said I wanted to achieve success in poker to be able to further my travel and writing hobbies later in life, and it's getting to be "later in life" now, ha.

It's been 10 years since I worked for corporate America, and if I look back I can honestly say I have fallen short of my own expectations for what I wanted to achieve in a decade in poker. I think it's normal to feel like we have fallen short of our goals often and I know it's a part of life, but I'm not exactly thrilled about it either. I always had the dream that I would hit that "life changer" tournament score and it just hasn't happened. Confirmed non luckbox on the tournament front. That's ok of course, but I think it has lit a bit of a fire under me to want to get to another level with myself in the business sense. I want the next decade to be fruitful and filled with levels of success that I don't think I've yet achieved. I want to look back on that next decade and feel better about the level of success my future version of myself was able to achieve. I know a good portion of that success can, and will be gained through poker. But I'm also not ruling out figuring out ways to advance my business self via writing as well. I have a few ideas for books I'm interested in writing, and I am hopeful it is something I can pursue and complete or at least be well on my way to completing in these next ten years of life. Enough of the life rambles, back to the grind. I will keep this thread alive at least to do monthly recaps for now, but the main goal of this thread was to help document and hold myself accountable to things and I think it did well to serve that purpose. Although it's not as necessary to me these days, it's still something I'd like to continue at least through the end of this year, and then re-evaluate the need and desire to continue this thread beyond that.

Time to heat things up, hopefully literally, and get busy working hard to make August a big step in the right direction for an improved second half to 2017!

As September is in full swing, I am circling back to some of my fundamentals from the beginning of this thread and my cash game journey in general as I reflect back on my last 12 months of efforts and results.

The routines and processes that got me this far need to be rejuvenated and kick started in order to battle the never ending obstacles that stand in the path of success.

My goals for the remainder of 2017 are going to revolve heavily around my work and study ethics that helped evolve my game in the first place. I feel I have neglected them a lot over the past many months especially and specifically. It's very easy to become complacent when we stop challenging ourselves. This is true with all things, of course, not just poker.

I approached this journey with a fire in my eyes, a passion in my heart to truly achieve greatness through it all. That fire and passion needs billowing. My volume and quality of hours played and studied will be on a full court press to close out the remaining months of this year, in an effort to turn around the break even funk I have been stuck in.

There are a great many things I have yet to accomplish in this great game and journey, and as I set my sights on some of them for 2018, the time is now to rekindle that passion and desire of success that once gripped me tight. I plan to double and triple my efforts on even the simplest of processes that I have learned to be of critical importance in this venture.

My volume goal for September is 160 hours. 40 hours minimum online. It is vital that I return to the daily warm up routines and post game analysis before and after sessions. I will get back to my weekly self review of online hands and monthly coaching sessions that also have slipped as the year progressed. It is not enough to simply "put in the hours" or "go through the motions" when it comes to the always changing and ever advancing world of poker.

By always working diligently on the things that we DO control, we will allow for and help battle through all the challenges that stem from the things that we DO NOT control. As my last post had pointed out, I am truly dissatisfied with where I am in the long term big picture with my career, and these are the steps I am now taking to change that.

No journey is complete without difficulties and challenges to overcome. No story is told without chapters like this one. Where my journey now takes me, only time will tell, but I assure you I will thoroughly enjoy writing the next chapter once this one is completed.

Wanted to pop in one more time this year to update and share that as I am working on some very specific things in regards to my goals and my poker game in general, I have found that the overall objective of this thread has been met, and I have done well to hold myself accountable as I journeyed through this cash game transition for a few years now.

It has been very helpful to journal many things here as I learned a lot about myself, and my mental and technical strengths and weaknesses in the day to day life and grind.

I am continuing to journal things as part of my ongoing improvement and life/poker objectives, but I have sort of come to a time and place in my career that I think I want to shift how and where I journal. One of my coaches sent me the following article that really seems to make sense to me:

https://lifehacker.com/5921478/shhh-...eve-your-goals

As my poker career continues to advance, and I find new challenges and overcome them one at a time, I look forward to sharing some successes down the road. As far as my monthly "journal" goes, it is definitely time I move on in how I approach it. This exact line from the article linked above definitely caught my attention:

"Announcing your plans to others satisfies your self-identity just enough that you're less motivated to do the hard work needed."

I need my motivation and hard work to remain at a high level, and I think that just moving forward from here on out utilizing the resources I have on hand (still working with 2 world class coaches in a world class poker stable, daily HH reviews and mental game status checks with fellow poker friends, self analysis and good warm up and cool down routines before and after every session, etc) is going to be the key.

It is time to let the original objectives of this journal end, and let my next chapter(s) be written in my own time and space. It has been fun sharing my journey up to here, and I do look forward to sharing other aspects of the poker life and grind when the time is relevant to do so. I'm not gonna say this thread is going to just die, exactly, but for sure the process of how and why I use it, as well as how often I use it will change.

I know how much the PG&C community has helped me grow over the years, so I can appreciate how it is very helpful to spend time reading along and following the ups and downs of this path, so I hope that throughout my shared journey it has also added some value to a few people who are doing similar things or have similar aspirations to do them as I have and continue to do.

Thanks for reading along in this 3 year story, and joining this clown, as he has ventured on this journey.

A toast:

"I raise my glass to all who have helped me along the way. I raise my glass to an incredible future of growth and success, both for myself, and for all of you. Cheers, and welcome to Value Town, fellow clowns!"