Great thread love the stories! You said you don't want to talk about HH which is understandable but perhaps you could talk about some of your biggest poker highlights like your first $5/10 session/big tournament wins/crazy stories from the poker table or something to that degree. Good luck at the tables!

When I first started playing 5/10 it was during the poker boom about 12-13 years ago and I looked at poker the same way I looked at blackjack or sportsbetting, I was gambling. The thought of someone playing poker professionally was foreign to me and I had never met anyone who had. I would normally play in casinos where the biggest games running would be 2/5 and I would always get on the list for 5/10. A lot of times when we would get the game going you'd have people sit down bc it was open seating even though they'd prefer to play a different game. At that point in my life I was still a beginner but my friend Mitchell had taught me enough that I could win at those stakes. I was an extremely tight player and poker was so good back then that every so often someone would just hand me a full stack and I would rarely lose a lot unless I got coolered or bad beated or whatever. When I was up a few buyins I'd always wanna lock up the win and be looking to pickup and go out to eat or party somewhere. God knows how much I could've made with some direction and work ethic in the early 2000s. I was prob a small winner at that time and blew all the money I made on clothes, partying and women.

As far as tournaments go I wouldn't consider any amount of money I've ever won to be big. I used to despise playing live tournaments and I've only come around on them in the last couple of years. When I had less money I could never justify paying traveling expenses to play buyins that I could afford. Now there just aren't many tournaments that interest me, either the buyin is too small or I have to travel somewhere to play it and it's a hassle. I'll play bigger buyins that aren't too far out of the way and don't get in the way of me playing my regular games. They'll prob be some months where I don't play any at all. The bulk of my online play for tournaments was on US facing sites and there's only be a few tournaments per week where u could win serious money. I did ok but a lot of the guarantees were set to have ~200 runners so big scores just weren't really a thing. Most of the big Sunday tournaments were like 25k for first or Smth like that.

The short stories I've written here are mostly in chronological order and I haven't gotten to the stage in my life where I really get into poker. At some point the stories will be poker related.

Glad you've enjoyed reading and I appreciate the well wishes.

Drinking

I'd like to preface this story by saying I do not condone drinking and driving and those who have been reading know that I lost one of my closest childhood friends Mark because he got in a car when the driver was drunk and on drugs.

The first time I ever got drunk was in middle school. Me and Mark had gone over to Jared's for the weekend and we were between the ages of 10-12. We had watched the movie Cocktail and decided to get into Jared's dads liquor cabinet after he had gone to sleep. We each had a coffee mug we had gotten from the kitchen and thought we would mix some drinks. We didn't know how this was done so we would just pour different types of alcohol into the coffee mug and drink it. We were mixing vodka+whiskey for example and drinking it straight. I remember getting sick and throwing up. Some years later once I had gotten my drivers license we had gone to Jared's for the weekend, Mark was there and Jared's sister had some of her friends over. It was maybe a 1/2 dozen people with a mix of guys and girls and we had gotten some beer. It was much more difficult for me to drink beer on a regular basis because my parents wouldn't allow it and it was easier for me to hide when I was high than when I was drunk. This was one of the first times I remember getting very drunk off beer. A lot of people had passed out and I remember just sitting there drinking alone until all the beer was gone. I might've had 12 beers total and weighed about 120 lbs tops. I also hadn't eaten for a very long time that day. I was slumped on the floor and had to go to the bathroom. I started to make my way over to the bathroom door with the assistance of any type of furniture I could find, I couldn't hold myself up on my own. So I'm going along grabbing tables and chairs and couches until I put my right hand directly on the top of a wood stove that was searing hot. I screamed and fell to the floor. I remember looking at my hand and thinking how funny it looked before I went to sleep. When I woke up the next morning my hand was covered in huge blisters all over the palm of my hand and my fingers. Jared told his dad I had to go to the emergency room and I was in some pain. It ended up being a 3rd degree burn and they dressed the wound and I had to walk around with a bandage for a couple weeks and it was kind of embarrassing at school. They told me there was a possibility of permanent nerve damage because of how long I waited to come in but I can't notice a difference from my other hand to this day.

I'd say by the age of 17 I was drinking beer everyday. I remember knowing that drinking and driving was risky and I usually had someone driving me around so during my teenage years I don't think I really ever got behind the wheel if I had been drinking. This changed as I got older. In my late teens and early twenties my favorite combo was just beer and good weed. This is kind of a disaster to avoid detection because both smell so much. If I got pulled over by a cop I was basically done. Even when I didn't have any drugs in the car I'd be ****ed up and staring in the rear view wherever I was headed. I had gotten pretty good at it and one thing I learned was driving at night when there's fewer cars on the road is a bad idea. At 2-3am when the bars close if you're driving around drunk you're asking for it. I could drive around drunk as hell during the afternoon and it was almost as if I couldn't get in trouble no matter how hard I tried.

One day after I had just turned 18 me Will and a couple other guys decided we were gonna go to a strip club. So we piled into my car with a case of beer and we were smoking some hash and weed out of a glass bowl. I blow by a cop on some backroad and he pulls out with his lights on. Will throws all the drugs out the window and we all have open beer bottles which we set on the floor. This is an extremely rural area and the cop runs my license, asks where we are going and just lets us go after telling me to slow it down. I couldn't believe it. I guess you have to be running over street signs to get a DWI in that part of the country I have no idea.

Another day I had been hanging out at Will's house and left to go pickup Robin. I had probably downed a sixer and had been smoking so I was feeling good. I was going down some windy back roads and was smoking a cigarette. I dropped it on the floor and went to pick it up. When I took my eyes off the road my right tire slid into a ditch. Once I went off the road it kind of sucked me in and I had my left two tires on the asphalt and my right tires in the ditch. I slammed on the brakes but it couldn't stop me. I ran through a mailbox and hit a driveway which popped me back up onto the road and blew all my tires. I couldn't maintain control now and went off the left side of the road onto an embankment. This was a very rich neighborhood and people were slowing down as they drove by offering to help and I would just tell them that the cops were on the way. I was a little bloody from some broken glass scratching me but wasn't really hurt. My priority was to get rid of everything before any cops showed up. Whenever no one was around I started chucking beer and weed into the woods. Once I had gotten rid of it some guy showed up who I couldn't get rid of as easily. He stopped his car and walked up to the crash and was looking into my windows. Luckily he was cool and even told me there was a beer in between the seat and the passenger side door I had missed. The ambulance showed up before the police and asked me how much I had to drink and I denied everything. When the cop did arrive he never got within 6 feet of me and said "I think what happened to your car is punishment enough, but I'm going to need you to replace that mailbox". I didn't even get a ticket.

Once I was driving down a two lane road in the middle of the afternoon and I had been drinking all day. I was looking down at my cell phone trying to dial a #. When I looked back up there was a stretch limousine making a left turn into the opposing lanes at a complete stop. I T-boned it going pretty fast. I stood outside when I spoke to the cop and he never once mentioned alcohol or asked if I had been drinking. I got a ticket for failure to maintain control.

Another night I had left Will's house to go see a girl and had just started drinking right before I left his house. I was dialing her number to let her know I was coming and I swerved. Cop was behind me and pulled me over. I had a bowl and some weed in my pocket and the cop asks me how much I've had to drink and I get out and fail the field sobriety test. He gives me a breathalyzer and I'm under the legal limit. Since I had just downed some beers less than 10 minutes before I thought my BAC was probably still rising. So he starts in on me about drugs and says something like "well you couldn't pass the field sobriety test but yet you're not drunk, what kind of drugs are you on"? I tell him I don't do drugs and he's pressing me to search me and my vehicle. Now one thing Will had taught me was if a cop ever asks permission to search just say no. If they have probable cause they'll just tell you they are gonna search. After a while another cop shows up and between the two of them they must've asked to search me and my car 50 times. "If you've got nothing to hide then just let us search your car, why won't you let us search it if you don't have any drugs? Blah blah". At some point I start to think they are never going to let me go and I'm getting paranoid that if this takes too long my BAC might get high enough to get a DWI. Since I have everything in my pockets I finally give in to the car search hoping that will be enough. They're on hands and knees with flashlights and finally come up with some tiny crumbs off the carpet. He starts preaching to me about drugs and giving me a guilt trip about lying to him about how I didn't do drugs and I stuck to my story. Since he couldn't arrest me for the DWI he tells me he's going to tow my car since I failed the field sobriety test he can't let me drive. He asked if I knew anyone that could drive it and I called the girl I was going to see. She agrees and one of the cops goes to her house right down the street and picks her up and brings her back. The other cops stays with me and gives me this long speech about changing my life. She can barely drive a stick shift and kept stalling it out but we got it back to her house. I still had the weed and we got high and laughed about the whole thing.

Once I was driving home from Robins late at night and was tired and drunk and high. I started falling asleep at the wheel and put the window down hoping the air would keep me awake. I kept nodding off and eventually drifted into oncoming traffic and hit a car. I was on the side of the road and I panicked. I gunned it and took off down the road on 4 flat tires. My car probably could only go 15-20 mph like this and it sounded like my engine was going to explode. After a little while one of of the tires comes off and it's slapping the side of the car everytime the wheel turns. I'm riding the rim and its sparking up. I take the first turn off the main road that I see and make it all the way back home on the back roads. I got the car towed before the sun came up.

I had a friend named Kevin who was really good with girls. He would literally hit on every girl he saw no matter what she looked like. He would prioritize but he wasn't above smashing a 3 or 4 if he didn't have anything better going on. One day we'd been drinking and he's going through his phone looking for some chicks to meet up at 2am or so. He's got two on the hook and he tells me they are kinda big. I'm like lol whatever maybe I'll get some head lets go. We show up at their place and they have some roommates in the living room so we all go in the back bedroom and we're smoking. They aren't hideous but both kinda fat. Kevin tells me that when the roommates go to bed to take my girl in the other room so he can smash and I can do whatever with her till he's done. I don't really care at this point and I get into their liquor and just crush everything they have. I'm loud and drunk and I remember the girls whose house it was telling me to quiet down over and over. Next thing I remember is me and Kevin getting kicked out and him bitching because he didn't get to **** this fat girl. We get in my truck and back out of the parking spot. As I'm turning the wheel to leave my hands slips off and I drive right into a parked car. I put it in gear and took off for Kevin's. When we got to his place I realize the entire front bumper of my truck is missing along with the license plate. I pass out on his couch. The next morning when I get home my roomate tells me a cop came by looking for me and gives me his business card. I'm panicking so I talk to some people for advice before calling him. The convo went like this:

Me "hello I got your business card and heard you would like to speak with me?
Cop "yes I'd like to talk to you about the accident that occurred last night"
Me "yes I waited hoping the owner would come out and we could trade info but I guess they were already asleep, I left a note on the car before I left
Cop "you mean you left a note on both cars?
Me "uh no I thought I only hit one car
Cop " no you actually hit two cars and the owners did not find any notes. What they did find was your entire bumper laying on the street. I guess you didn't notice that when you got out of your car and put the note on the car?
Me " I noticed it was missing when I got home it was very late and it wasn't a very well lit area

He tried to get me to admit to not leaving a note so he could charge me with something but he gave up after a while and just got my info and that was that.

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Solid.

Still following along. Story game still strong.

audibly lold at picturing you taking off with 4 flat tires goin 15-20 mph down the road. great stories man

Tyty

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-1,194

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-3874

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-2438

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-7000
2 outed, ragequit

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+3,729
Stopped the bleeding

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I check every day for new stories.

Breakup

Me and Robin had broken up a few times over the years. We'd have little spats and as teenagers having the power to leave the other gave you leverage to get what you want and I'd say this happened 2-3 times or so. She had gotten addicted to pain pills and dropped out of college. I think she framed it to her parents as taking a break of some sort but the reality was she couldn't function because of the oxy. I felt somewhat responsible having introduced her to drugs at 16 and bringing her around Will's where she first started using it everyday. Once I got the money from my family I had a new level of confidence and she was always broke trying to scrape up money for pills. I would not give her any. On more than one occasion she threatened to tell Will how much money I had because I wouldn't support her drug habit. I had been sodomizing her for around 4 years now and once we reached this point in our relationship I had all the control and she eventually just kind of lost her mind and wanted to escape the situation. I saw this as the ultimate betrayal and cut off all ties with her completely. I changed my phone number and refused to see her if she showed up at my house or anywhere else. She reached out to me through any mutual friends we had but I was done for good.

First order of business was robbing the guys she knew to get pills from. They had been off limits because they would've stopped hooking her up if we had robbed them before. I'd dealt with the guy she knew for a long time now with no problems so getting his guy to meet us wasn't too tough. We met him, bought pills from him and told him we could get 160s which were discontinued. He wanted some so we told him our guy refused to meet new people but we could get it for him if he gave us money up front. He picks Will up from his house and drives him to an apartment complex. He gets the money and walks up the stairs on one side. Once he reaches the top he walks right back down the other side where I was waiting with my truck running. The money was nice but knowing that they would cutoff Robin because they'd met us through her was even better.

Will couldn't be happier with us breaking up. Robin was close with his girlfriend so it severely cramped his style of hooking up with randoms from the bar. He was looking to go out every night and bringing home a couple chicks wasn't too difficult. We'd chat them up, ask them if they wanted to do drugs and take them back to Will's. Sometimes we'd fail or only find one girl to come back with us. I can remember one girl who hooked up with both of us.

I'd met a woman named Angela through Will who was a small time coke dealer. I wasn't much into coke but we'd gone through her for friends who wanted to get some. She had robbed Hector and another guy from his neighborhood for some coke or money and I had never met a woman like this before. There was a girl who was friends with Will's sister who wanted coke and somehow I ended up bringing Angela to her house and we all hung out that night and snorted it all. I got so high that I was hot and had to take my shirt off. After the coke was gone she wanted heroine so I drove her to some ghetto neighborhood and she bought it off some guy on the street. Me and Angela didn't do heroine so we left and I stopped to get a beer. We were still high and she was all over me in the car and trying to **** me while I was driving. I let her blow me in the truck and took her to my place and ****ed her and she spent the night with me.

The next time I spoke with her she asked me to take her to a friends house. I picked her up and we went to the worst neighborhood in the city we lived in. We parked and walked into the townhouse she had brought me to before when we got coke the other times, I had never gone inside. We sit down at the kitchen table and I buy some coke from the guy. He starts cutting out lines and they are speaking in Spanish, when I tried to take the coke out I had just bought he motioned for me to put it away. We are high as hell and there's a knock at the door. The guy looks through the peephole then bolts up the stairs. Police kick the door down and they come in guns drawn. They were wearing plain clothes but had badges. They asked where he went and she told them upstairs. We hear them banging on a door upstairs telling him to open it. She grabs me and tells me we gotta go. We walk right out the front door and leave in my truck without seeing the cops again. I was convinced she was a police informant because how easily we were able to get out of there and was sure she had set up the raid herself. I never spoke to her again.

April Update

Pretty swingy month, played a bunch didn't make any money.

Cash games

+2187
Played 143 hours





Tournaments

-2850
Played 5 tournaments with $1980 ABI, cashed in two



April total
-663



Ytd cash games plus tournaments total

-890

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Thanks for the last story. I bet you were ****ting yourself.

Np. I thought for sure I was getting a possession charge when they barged in. They just dgaf about us or she was in on it, I'll never know for sure.

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Thought of this for those of you who wanted some HH.

Day 2 of a 2,500 buyin tournament, over million dollar prize pool but not itm yet.

Blinds 400/800 with 100 ante

Utg2 33,000 just sat down but opened his first hand at the table mp1 and went to showdown with 107o

MP1 25,000 also just sat down seems drunk or hasn't slept or Smth

Hero covers

Utg limps, Hero makes it 2,500 with JJ, utg2 makes it 6,500, MP1 calls, folds to Hero who shoves allin, call, call

Utg2 shows AQ
MP1 shows J9

K84 6 A

Utg2 wins 94k pot, over the top celebration ensues. Throws punches in the air

Seems okay at that stack depth imo.

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