Good morning, King. (Or should I call you Mr. Spew?)-
I'll first admit that I've been remiss in not reviewing the Chards itt like they deserve. They can be fabulous wines and certainly deserve their place in any cellar. My observation is that women, in general, will have an initial preference for them as they begin their wine tasting journey when it pertains to "good" wines. Iow, they'll tend to appreciate a good Chard before, say, a good CA Cab or a Bordeaux. (Random thought here: Instead of moving to the Pinots with her, would suggest doing the Merlots.)
My very generic thoughts on the Chards:
Historically, I've been a fanboy of the Acacia, Rombauer and the Trefethons. From the description of your preferences, I think these would be suitable for you. They're all reasonably priced in my market (< $40) and they generally have that oaky, buttery and non-astringent palate.
Here's a few more that I've recently enjoyed and can recommend predicated on your seeming preferences:
Orin Swift Mannequin, 2013. A friend treated me to this and I thought it was fabulous. I cannot find it locally. Iirc, he said he paid a little less than $40 and I'd consider that a 5
value.
Keller Sonoma Coast, 2013 was ~$40 and a home run.
Rombauer Carneros, 2014 at $38 was a solid value.
Lloyd Cellars, 2014 was about $47 and, while different from the
Mannequin, was probably a smidge better. It's also noteworthy that the winemaker was formerly the guy that made Rombauer's Chard.
As to what is "a definitive Chardonnay", I don't think there's an answer (thankfully). You could certainly spend big bucks on a stellar-vintage Montrachet and it would be outstanding. Just not sure if your wife would prefer it in a blind tasting to one of the aforementioned CA Chards.
Hope this helps.
Oh, one last thing. I do like my Chards to air for a bit. Just until the 'chill' is gone and they're just a bit cool.