imo drop bombs or duds as you see fit



credit to Bob148 for the idea.

Disregard that i suck *****

wat

Cali you should rap for us.

gonna re-name this the official rap/freestyle/poetry/kittens/other thread

let's get it done, people

Who lost LC thread,
Though it was plainly still there,
Callipygian.

I like the mini bet
haven't been to Vegas yet
but I know that when I go
Imma minbet all night yo

Who Likes To Min-E-Bet

To the tune of "Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart"
Inspired by Bob148's little ditty above

You see...
Whether check or fold or raise
Or check then raise instead,
The only game I like to play
Is where the bets are limited

When I first posted, I was a total noob
But now I've come to loooooooove
This group.

OEC, this guy love trains
Captain R, he wins at Bay
DougL dropping old guy knowledge
MApoker learned 'bout stats in college
BBB, the noble elephant
Jesse wins to pay the rent
Pid Koker got himself a Corgi
Bob148 shared a personal story
SadDonkey, he be excusin' jurors
that_pope's banning caused some furor
rodeo, this guy's got game
Callipygian, sorry, how do you say that name?
Leodoc, we all admire
AlanBostick, The Dude's on fire!

And lest we forget, good gentlemen:
Howard Beale, THE MAN! THE LEGEND!

Who likes to Min-E-Bet?
We like to Min-E-Bet!
Now won't you rhyme with me?

Who likes to Min-E-Bet!
Should I donk with my set?
Kicker trouble makes me sweat!
This bluff I might regret!

But that is why we love to Min-E-Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

Ain't got no time to be flingin' chips
'Cause I gotta pick up all this dog s***
Now my house smells super rank
But I can't afford Oust 'cause I broke the bank

lol min-e-bet

pull out your wallet and do the dance
that people do playin' games of chance
waitin' for that little white ball to stop
keep bettin' on red 'cause that color's hot!

well played, sir. bravo.

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/54...veyard-252528/

lol noob

LMAO

I'm myopic on a cloudy day
When it's cold outside, I think LC's gone away
I guess you'd say
Who can **** it up this way?
Calli, Calli ... talking 'bout Calli!

To the tune of "Gimme Three Steps"

I was sippin a mug with a guy named Doug, and I didn't have **** to do. When in walked a man with some chips in hand and he was lookin for you know who. I said, "hey there fellow with the chips colored yellow! Got a game for you! Cus those are my chips there and I'm a man who cares. Now tell me what you gonna do?"

He said, "s'cuse me?"

Well Doug cleared away, and we began to play, and the dealer said, "the bet is four" And I'm tellin ya son well it aint no fun, callin that raise for four more. The turn card fell, as far as I could tell it was the suit I was hoping, score. And you could hear me screamin several tables away, cus i was all in that's for sure.

"Oh won't you gimme five clubs! Gimme five clubs dealer! Gimme five clubs in the backdoor! Gimme five clubs, Gimme five clubs dealer, and I'll tip you and the floor!"

"Club in the backdoor!"

When we up in Oaks Club
All eyes on us
All eyes on us
Everybody in the club
They drool at us
They drool at us

I wanna scream and shout and spew it all out
Saying stay low stay low stay low
Three bet, cap it with
Bottom set and aces bitch

BRING THE ACTION

Rock and roll
Everybody lose control
Gutshot draw can't let it go
Raise it up we don't play it slow
HEY
Hit the cap, let's see a fo
Lock it up and then drink some mo
Suckin out and then watch em blo
HEY

BRING THE ACTION

It's the mother****in' C-A-L-L-ee
You know I'm mobbin' with the LHE
You know who's back up in this mother****er
What what what what? Blaze it up, blaze it up
Wavin' peen, spewin' green, ***** burn that **** up
SSHE, ***** lap that **** up
CGC, OCC, yeah we hookin' back up
And when I roll into the club, yeah you know I'm first up
Loan sharkers, drug dealers, yeah they lockin' them up
Fastroll, don't show, now we color it up
Schoolin' thugs, gettin' mugged in E-ville fo' sho'
Bringin' a forty-fo' for my safety, LDO

Bitches lookin' at me strange but you know I don't care
Buy in to this mother****er, throw my racks in the air
Bitch quit callin', quit raisin', if you beat by this set
Got a bullet with some rag and take a stack from a vet
Out of town, plunk it down at Parker's, no map
And if aces get cracked, bitch shut yo' trap
Bettin' thin, then foldin', that's the path to success
If you believe in the stats you'll be relievin' your stress

It's the mother****in' C-A-L-L-ee
You know I'm mobbin' with the LHE
Straight off a ****in' run at Bell-A-G
King of the beats, cry into yo' mommas teets
I scoop the pot, rollin' quad ducks
How you feelin' whoopty, whoop ***** waaat?
Obi Wang using the bathroom in back
MA on 18, shippin' the racks
Benjis in straps, drivin' through hoods
Oaktown, San P, when I could

From Oceans out to the Limelight
It's California love, California Stud
Got a ***** gang of buds
Pictures of pup, Alan hits up the Commerce Club
Captain was Ron, Leo's smoke gone
Doug's drive on, bella's moved on
Then Three-B makes me write a song
Jesse's on for one two double oh
Is he for real? It's the next episode

Hold 'Em, hey
For my niggaz who be thinkin' we soft
We don't, play
We movin' down 'til the sharks drop off
Hold 'Em, hey
For my niggaz who be raisin' too bold
Call down, 'kay
Hope you ready for the next episode

****ing right Calliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ii!

These are hilarious.

Excellent work Zeke, Calli, et al

jfc

i saw the parker's reference and loled several times

RIP Parker's...

my name is jesse8888 and i approve of this message

also, to make sure you are all motivated to release your inner awesome

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Jx3pc-QvtQ

which many don't know is sorta kinda set to "you're just a boy"

I'm gonna pop some TAGs
Only got twenty dollars in my pocket
It's 1/2, looking for a double-up
This is ****ing awesome

Now I Walk up to the club like, "What up, I got a big ****!"
I'm so pumped about some change I found on the block
Brush is blowing me off, it's so damn frosty
Then people like, "Damn! That's a cold ass honkey."
Buyin' in, hella deep, headin' to the mezzanine,
Buy in all red, then I double up, now they're green
Movin' to 13, floor's standin' next to me
Probably should watch this, I call two with four-three - Miiisssssss!
But ****, it was just six bucks!
Callin' it, raisin' it, 'bout to go and hit a set of ducks.
Passin' up on the biggie B, lock me up on table 3
Posting it on U-T-G
I'm gruntin' and bossin' and
Spendin' my money and I'm hella happy that's a full house, bitch
I'ma take your LAGTAG style, I'ma take your LAGTAG style,
No for real - ask your damn self - could I have the ass end straight? (Thank you)
Yellow chips and table 18
Where that even at, I gotta go diggin'
I ask and they got no board, I sit and they got a board.
Min one-fiddy, this big **** I'm on board
Hello, hello, my five deuce, and flop low
Nobody ain't got nothing on my A game, hell no
I could take some rag-rags, make 'em cool, ship those
Those pointy heads would be like, "Aw, he can't win any mo's."

I play those offsuit fo's
I flop incredible
I win this big ass pot
I am so ****ing hot

I'm gonna play some rags
Only had twenty dollars in my pocket
Play e'ry hand, looking for a double-up
This is ****ing awesome

What you know about rockin' a deuce on the river?
What you know about spiking a backdoor gutter?
I'm digging, I'm digging, I'm searching for the right garbage
One man's trash, that's another man's double-up
Thank the button for folding that suited paint
'Cause when you think I'm dead, I really ain't
I'm at the Oaks Club, you can find me doin' the lobby
I snuck a stack off and I'm doubling down 2-3
You busted, you dusted, you rusted, you lusted
I'll take that one last pot, backdoor, I rock you mother****ers
They built a lime chip game around this mother****er
I hit the party and they can't stop this mother****er
They be like, "Oh, that donkey - he's hella light."
I'm like, "Yo - that sixty dollars says you're right."
Limited attention, no lookin', like a magician
Sixty dollars for a raise - from just some ignorant bitch ... ****.
I call that, getting swindled and pimped ... ****.
I call that, getting tricked by a dip****.
That board's hella low
And being dominated by six other people in this game is hella don't
Cheap flop, come look at my kings, hella pwnt
Trying to win pots seven ways? Man, you hella won't.
Man, you hella won't.

I play those offsuit fo's
I'm running terrible
I'm raising with my queens
They got me by the peen

I got to play some jacks
Had a thousand in my pocket
Played hella tight, they all looked me up
This is ****ing rigged

Calli found himself on a sweet-*** heater
And he’s bragging ‘bout it to all his peeps
One day he knows this heater’s gonna leave him
But until then he just can’t be beat.
Along came Doug with a shoulder shrug
And said “Can’t it just be chance?”
Calli nearly clocked him,
It’s clearly skill not variance!

Now Zeke was a big geek who lived down the road
And he thought he'd try and play some hold 'um
Flopped draws and boats, did lines of coke
And he had himself some fun.
He got wind of the sweet-*** heater
So he thought he’d give that game a shot
But the heater was real and it punched him in the kiwis
As Calli won every pot
(Pocket ducks...)

Now Calli done rode that sweet-*** heater
All the way to a hundred K.
Said I sure do love these sweet-*** heaters
This game is so easy to play.
Now the heater went on for several weeks
And he thought that it just wouldn’t stop.
But then he lost his rush and couldn’t hit a flush
And the stacks began to drop.
Calli sure missed that sweet-*** heater
It was really quite the ride.
But now the fish keep sucking out and he thinks about
How just maybe Doug was right.