Spew. Badly.

I accept

So wehn we playing?

If that's the case then maybe I should go to a white girl massage place. The problem I have with getting massages from white girls in Vegas is they always trick me into having sex with them. I tell them upfront that all I want is a handjob but they never believe me. Because sex makes them a lot more money than a handjob, they use all kinds of Jedi tricks to get me to break my already fragile will. The end result is I end up having condom sex that I can't feel and I'm out an extra $200 dollars. Asian girls listen to my handjob request, white girls are more aggressive and seldom take no for an answer. Also, I would like to try black girls out, but I find black massage girls to be pretty rare in Vegas. Plenty of black escorts, but not enough massage specialists.

Match is definitely one of my favorite sites. 4 out of my last 5 girlfriends came from match including my last three. I would also strongly recommend that you try www.plentyoffish.com out too. It may be better than match and it's free! Even TheHip recently got his obese ass laid from plentyoffish.

As far as the best way to spin our profession, I also have trouble with this and I'm not sure what the best answer is. I certainly feel like many girls get turned off by this fact. One suggestion is to make your job sound as sexy as possible. Instead of saying you play poker for a living, say you are a high stakes professional poker player. Also if you've been playing professionally for a number of years make sure to let them know. If a girl knows you've been successful at your job for 3-5 years, she'll be more likely to be comfortable with it.

Lastly, if you've made a lot of money over the years, it may be important to let them know. I know it's generally not socially acceptable to openly tell people your income, but if you think a girl is gonna hold your poker job against you, you may have to take this route. Since we already got a knock against us for not having a "real job" we can't afford to be humble about it. It's important that women get the real picture, that you're not a poker degenerate, and the best way to accomplish that feat may be to just be upfront and tell them how successful you have been.

Thanks for the advice. Ill give it all a try. Btw, USASpa is the joint in Vegas and has black, white, latina. Cant remember the name of the road its on but stretches between Tropicana and Spring Mt. running parallel with the strip on the other side of I-15.

You are so wise ILP, you should write a book.

About showing our money, I guess we don't have really the choice. It depends of your style, but you can show a pretty car, clothe or watch or maybe saying you own a flat WITHOUT mortage (even before talking about poker). It is not super easy in a site like match tough. The point is to not being arrogant but looking like a funny guy who have a nice life. So it is very important to show you are not a gambling addict :

you play 2 hours by day, you go to party every night until 4AM, you have sportive or artistic activities, you do one month big trip 3 times per year, stuff like that...

Awesome! That's where I'm going then. I'm sure the cab driver will know where it's at. Trip report coming Monday.

I thought you weren't coming to vegas ILP?

Good points. I'm sure some people may find your suggestions to be shallow or superficial. IMO, those people are either being hypocritical or just plain naive. In the beginning, the reasons we like a girl or the reasons they like us will almost always be based on a superficial foundation. The deep meaningful kind of love where both sides genuinely admire each other takes time. If one doesn't master the superficial they will drastically damage their odds of ever achieving anything meaningful. Peacocks understand this idea. Some humans are slow to catch on. So I say focus on getting laid first, and hope something greater develops later. As you've alluded to, we have some control over our chances of getting laid. The finding true love part is almost completely out of our hands and just comes down to good old fashioned luck.

Yeah that's the key. Showing off without them realizing you're showing off.

I wasn't. Something came up that is basically forcing me to come to Vegas. This may sound crazy, but there's this sports line that I simply must bet on and I don't have a bookie. I am going to Vegas to place $10,000 on one game. As soon as I make the bet Saturday morning, I'll post in this thread what I'm betting on so those interested can watch my money go down in flames.

I'm living vicariously though ILP, since I'll never bet 10K on anything.

cant wait until he announces, then we can all watch his money

Ok I'm revising my answer. I do run worse than anyone on the planet and its not even ****ing close.

mt. first off, no one is saying you suck at poker, we are just saying you badly ****ed this hand up.

Enough of your engima comments like "if you don't know why I can't tell you"

the thing is, i've played at least half a million hands of poker, i've seen it all. there is nothing that you are doing in this hand that makes me go "wow, that's amazing"

the thing is, poker is a conversation. heres the conversation in this hand.

miles raises on the button 3 handed, he's saying "hi guys, i have any two cards, give or take"

you call.

flop is K22r

you check, miles bets everything, you check raise, which means you have either a pair, or air, whatever, miles 3bets.

at this point, miles usually has a decent hand, but he could be restealing.

you cap, saying, i know you could ahve a hand, but i have a good hand too. Really, when you cap, you should have Kx, 2x, AA, KK

Now, you could be trying to push miles of with air, but, whenyou cap/lead the flop, I'm giving you credit for at least a K3 here.

turn 9s

You bet, miles raises.

At this point, miles knows you have Kx at least, and miles knows you aren't folding. If miles has JJ somehow, hes going to call down and catch your bluff. When miles raises, his hand range is this

22, 2x, AK, KK, AA


Also, knowing miles, he won't even raise AK here, or maybe not even AA.

so when miles raises, he has the impossible AJs, QJ, or, 2x, or KK

stove KJ vs. all the 2x and KK

looking good there, then you lol cap

now, i know it's 3 handed, and you flopped top pair J kicker, but whena good player puts in 4 bets on the flop, and still raises the turn, KJ is ass

You should be folding the turn, not 3betting the turn.

If you don't understand that, I can't help you.


Lastly, trying to get ppl to play HU is ******ed. I'm not here to prove I'm better than you. I don't need to be better than you, I just need to be better than chuck, injoe, kycool, spideruno, and some random tag.

Also mntbikr you are a horrible spewtard and a losing player.

I guess 250k hands of losing poker is statisically insignificant too.

it doesn't track all the games!!!

seriously though, I have to defend mt. here

he plays in the toughest games on the internet 3 handed. there is no way his winrate is going to be close to ILP's, cause he doesn't have Easyreader on his right all day.

I'd bet mt.bikers $$$/hour is right at the top of all the ap regs.

Yeah, over the phone we did some back of the envelope calculations on how much money Mntbikr makes. He's a mother****ing baller! Whether he's a spewtard baller or not appears up for debate. When I think about Mntbikr I'm reminded of what former Piston's coach Chuck Daly's once said about Michael Jordan years ago: "Cut him open and you won't find blood, muscle and sinew. You'll find nothing but wires and electrons and circuits." I'm very impressed at what Mntbikr has accomplished.

no matter what, it always ends up that if i run well at a game, ill run twice as bad playing stakes twice as high.


last week was my worst in over a year. like 2/3rds of what i won at 5/10 earlier in the month i lost at 10/20 over the course of 5k hands.

Which business would you rather own? (everything else being equal):

1) A business with a net profit margin of 50% and cash earnings of $10 million.

Or

2) A business with a net profit margin of 2% and cash earning of $40 million.

If you can answer this question you'll see the mistake you made in analyzing Mntbikr's performance.

I feel your pain, this month I am running hot at 3bb/100 on all games below 30/60 and an incredible (-4.5bb/100) in the 30/60 games. WTF that is frusterating.

Hip I never said in a vaccum that hand is +ev...but it is awful fun getting you worked up.

Nina...when you decide to be anything other then a bum hunting little bitch look me up.....and not that I care what you think but table ratings has me down 20k or whatever because since 4/1 I happen to be down 60k at 50/100 and higher in 11k hands....yes very statisically important.

Since you dont want to play hu I have another proposal. We each book X number of hands on AP under the following guidelines and whoever has the greatest win rate at the end of 100k or more hands wins the bet.

-Stakes 5/10-30/60
-For every full table you are at you have to have a shorthand table as well
-You can only join a table if you are one of the first 3 at a 6 max or one of the 1st 5 at a 10 max.
-You can sitout HU v someone if you want but as soon as the table is 3 handed you must play, regardless of who it is....you may not simply leave if you dont like the line up
-No seat changes once a game is in session
-You must play 10 or more hours a week between the times of 8-5 EST
-These hands must be completed in under 3 months.
-You must always be seated at at least 6 tables....and must play them if they get going...whether this means u play 1 game, or 6.

Terms are open to slight negotiation if you bother to accept.

These conditions will keep us both playing under very similar conditions that I normally do.

I will be willing to book this bet for any amount up to 60k but not less then 20k....escrow obviously needed since I think you are a flaky whining bitch who may well disappear when you get stomped.

Results will be confirmed by two unbiased 3rd party dataminers to be determined.

Since I am a spew tard and a losing player this is a great chance for you to earn up to an extra .60c per hand on your already god status win rate!

So shall we have some fun?

Edit- The fact that I play a mix of SHLHE, SHL08, and SHPLO while I play should make this bet even more +ev for you then I initially thought.

Either my math is off which is very possible since I just woke up...or you meant 20 percent not 2?

Okay I get it and your results make a lot more sense. But damn your ego tilts me.

I used 2% on purpose. In fact a negative profit margin can work as well since it's possible for a company to have negative accounting earnings and still generate lots of cash earnings. The key here is to note that the net profit margin figure is a meaningless variable in this context. If we wanted to pick which company to own, we would pick the one that makes the most money, the one earning $40 million a year. Nina was judging you based on a meaningless variable (bb/100), akin to saying Walmart is a terrible company because it has low margins. In reality Walmart is one of the best cash machines on this planet despite its low profit margins, much like you.

ILP...makes sense


Nina...slight miscalculation on my part....I have averaged almost 60k hands a month for the past year.....so the bet of 100k hands must be completed in 2 months.

One extra month can be added for each 50k hands u would want over the 100k

unlike you mtbikr, we all care about making money, we don't care about challeneges, and who's the best, and HU4ROLLZ!!!!@#1$!$!


In a vacuum, that hand is badly, badly misplayed, and really, good tags aren't going to spew vs. you more in the future, because they are good tags.

I've seen you be more aggressive than me in spots, and if I have AK, I'm not raising that turn, even after I've seen you do this with KJ.

So your point in trying to generate more action is moot, because good hand readers are going to know they are banged when you c/r cap lead a K22 board HU when they have AK.

Miles knows this about you, and he still raises the turn, which means miles doesn't have Kx, and he doesn't care that you have 2x, so miles has 2x, KK, or AA.

It's not about 'setting' him up for the future, because good players adjust, but good players aren't spewtards that are going to raise the turn just cause you overplayed top pair once.

Hip

Where did I say a word aobut setting him up to spew at me in the future...however you are wrong on several counts

and obviously nina cares most about making moneny.....which is exactly why there is no reason he shouldnt take my bet and boost his win rate by a ton.

Winrate of god like player + .60 c a hand=more then winrate of godlike player

Seems simple no?