Seth could you PM me instructions on how to flick the doomswitch off. I seem to have misplaced my normal set.

Thanks

thanks for the commiseration. have we played together?

Sure, no problem. Let's make these instructions public just so everybody knows how to flick the doomswitch off. It wouldn't be fair if you were the only one who knew how to stop taking bad beats!

You're going to need the following supplies:

- Flashlight
- 2 pairs of socks
- 3 Cloves of Garlic
- Cell Phone
- Cashews
- Pepper
- Plastic Tarp
- Rope
- Jeans (they might get dirty, so make sure you don't care about the pair you're wearing)
- Duffel bag (to hold your supplies)

OK, now, the first thing you need to do is make your way out to an empty clearing. If you live in a city, you're going to need to find your way out to the countryside, because you need open space in order to accomplish your goal. This will not work unless you're in an empty, deserted clearing.

Put on your jeans and make sure you have the extra pair of socks handy.

OK. So you've made it to the clearing. Take your plastic tarp and lay it on the ground. Stand on the tarp. Take your 3 cloves of garlic and make a triangle. Put one clove in front of you, and two to your back left and back right. Make sure this triangle is large enough for you to stand inside and move around in comfortably.

Once you're positioned inside the garlic triangle, scream "RPM! RPM! RAH RAH RAH! RPM RPM CHA CHA CHA!" as loud as you can, twice. This will summon the Doomswitch Unicorn (Doomicorn). Don't be scared... Doomicorn is friendly. Go into your duffel bag, find your pepper, and sprinkle some in your hands. Contrary to popular belief, it isn't tigers that love pepper... it's Doomicorns (and most Unicorns, though some Unicorns are allergic). The Doomicorn is the biggest pepper eater of them all. Doomicorns LOVE pepper. Trust us, it took years of research to figure out how to ply the Doomicorn.

Now, here's where it gets tricky. When the Doomicorn approaches, you'll know the Bad Beat Bear can't be far behind. Whip out that flashlight and make sure you have your cashews and rope ready or else none of this will work. And for the love of God, whatever you do, make sure you don't leave your garlic triangle.

Once you've gained the Doomicorn's trust with the pepper, you're going to have to do the sacred Doomicorn Dance. If you're familiar with the Dougie, it's the same dance, but it's been known as the Doomicorn Dance for much longer. If you're not sure how to Dougie, just ask someone to teach you.

Unfortunately, doing the Doomicorn Dance will wake the Bad Beat Bear. If you see the Bear coming, throw your cashews at it as hard as you can and turn your flashlight on and off as quickly as possible. Bears LOVE cashews, and cashews make bears fall asleep. They HATE flashlights and will generally avoid them. If the cashews don't get the Bear's attention, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR GARLIC TRIANGLE. The Bad Beat Bear cannot penetrate the garlic triangle. Get on your cell phone and call someone to help you wrangle the Bear, for you cannot take it on alone.

If you've made it without encountering a problem with the Bear, you are so close to finding the Doomswitch. At this point, the Doomicorn will trust you since you are feeding it pepper. Further, you've done the Doomicorn Dance, so the Doomicorn will show it's approval by flipping onto its back with its hooves in the air. DON'T HESITATE... grab your rope and hog tie the Doomicorn. If you hesitate, you might forgo your window of opportunity. The Doomicorn will not resist so long as you keep feeding it pepper. Doomicorns LOVE pepper.

At this point, it's safe to leave your garlic triangle. Remove the socks you're wearing and change into a fresh pair. Take your worn socks and put them on the front two hooves of the Doomicorn. Like magic, you'll see a secret compartment open on the Doomicorn's chest. Don't be afraid to reach in; you are no longer in danger.

Feel around for the switch and flick it DOWN. If the switch is pointed up, it means you have not deactivated your Doomswitch. Once you have successfully turned off your Doomswitch, please do the right thing and untie the Doomicorn. Before you do that, though, fill one of the socks with pepper before sending the Doomicorn on its way. It's the right thing to do.

Unfortunately, this system is not foolproof. While your doomswitch may be turned off temporarily, the Doomicorn may have a run-in with the Variance Lion at any time and that will re-engage your switch. Remember, it's a jungle out there.

If you're unclear about any of the directions here and need clarification, you can chat in live with RPM Jon at RPMPoker.com, or you can simply reply in this thread and I'll do my best to answer your questions. To preempt any questions, the scar on my right arm is from Doomicorn research back in '86, and no, I don't want to talk about it.

Good luck!

^ epic lol <3

what about today's update?

Today's update moved everyone who was still using the 4.7 client to the new 5.0 client; the 4.7 client is now obsolete, and nobody can use it anymore!

I think he was probably asking what changes were made with the new 5.0 client.

havent been able to log on and play the last couple of days... havent been able to play as much as I would like at all really...

all the times I have played I've been busy working, working across 2 different computers, 4 screens, and then my lap top on the side trying to play poker is -EV

i won a $33 sat ticket today. i didn't see any $33 satellites in the lobby.... what gives?

and my mom says doomicorns aren't real. i'm still gonna try and catch one, it can't hurt anything. only 2BI below EV today...2 set over sets tho. FML

hey guys new to rpm poker, got a small question

am i suppose to opt in for all those march promos or i dont get any? and for example mondays do i have to email every monday? so confused.

Yeah this lol

RPM should do what FTP does and post what's in their updates or at least a post in here. I assume this was just a minor update with maybe a performance update or something?

You guys realize that poker sites update like every couple of days usually, right?

Do you really need to know that now instead of 6handed sngs showing up first in the lobby that 9 handed sngs show up first?

Haha Awesome!!

I lol'ed hard and woke up my friends

hi, yes you need to opt in for Burnout Mondays and Turbocharged Thursdays. just send seth a pm to opt you in for all promos. dont forget to tell your username. sending one again for the promos for the next mondays or even month(s) is not necessary. -->

You only need to send one e-mail to opt in to the promotions. You won't get a reply back, but you will automatically be opted in.

Hey guys. dl'd the site a week or so ago looking to test it out. Anyone willing to ship for stars cash?

Im 24 buyins under EV between 10Nl and 25Nl in less than a month. apprximately 70k hands. This cant be normal variance. these suckouts are ridiculous.

[converted_hand][hand_history]Merge, $0/$0.50 No Limit Hold'em Cash, 5 Players
Poker Tools Powered By Holdem Manager - The Ultimate Poker Software Suite.

MP2: $46.81 (93.6 bb)
Hero (CO): $50 (100 bb)
BTN: $95.96 (191.9 bb)
BB: $50 (100 bb)
MP1: $102.82 (205.6 bb)

Preflop: Hero is CO with 6 8
MP1 folds, MP2 raises to $1.50, Hero calls $1.50, BTN raises to $4.83, BB folds, MP2 calls $3.33, Hero calls $3.33

Flop: ($14.99) 2 3 9 (3 players)
MP2 checks, Hero checks, BTN bets $9.99, MP2 calls $9.99, [color="red"]Hero??


btn is a reg , utg+1 is fish .. lol im preceived as a bad player/fish cause well I AM.. lol

anyone like shoving here? btn stats are 31/23/14 ... c bet % 78

Then raid your pepper pot and go find that Doomicorn!

I sucked out on you hard one hand. I felt bad about it too.

You had AA and I had AK and I got there on the straight.

haha i do remember that, it was my first shot at 25 nl . dont feel bad though lol

I'll tell you a secret man

At 25NL people bluff like nobodys business. I dont know if its the same on all poker sites, but I have made so many hero calls against donks who like check calling to rivers and shoving with middle pair on RPM. As long as there isnt a huge scare card on the river, most of the time the half calling stations/half bullies JUST DONT HAVE IT on those rivers.

Case and point:

What are those 3 stars when you click on player's name? Sometimes they're white, sometimes yellow etc.

++10000 this is how I flew through 25nl...