You have accomplished the "no class" part of the requirement well. What is lacking is...
1. Your grade 5 equivalency of grammar and English.
2. The brain cells for creativity that were destroyed by huffing nail polish, spray paint, or whatever liver destroying substance white trash huff these days.
3. The "courage" to post a chess demolition thread on a poker site instead of a chess site.
4. A bike reference.
5. A bankroll
Congratulations you have beat a person on a free chess site...if someone came to your house and caged you for five years so you could not post anymore that person would probably win Junglemans contest for the best good deed and an entry into the WSOP main event.