Let me tell you a story about my daughter.
Tonight I dropped her off at her grandparents (her mom's parent's, not mine) house to have a sleepover. As I was leaving I had the vision of when she looked at her grandma bashfully because she had been crying and she didn't really want anyone to know about it. This is not really a good way to leave your child but that's how it had to be this time. I was sad.
The drive there was great and I thought we were going to make it with no mishaps, but then we pulled down the street of her grandma and grandpa's and she lost it. She started crying. I knew she started crying because we had been having fun conversations for all of the 40-min-or-so-drive and she never responded to the last one. It took me only a few seconds to realize she started crying, probably because I had been expecting it.
My daughter and I are close. She is my little buddy
When I asked her (originally) whether or not she wanted to have a sleepover at her grandparents house or whether she wanted to stay the night here and I could drop her off there in the morning (but it would be early)..she asked me, "what do you want Daddy"? I told her I thought she should stay at her grandparents house so I didn't have to bother her at 6:45 or so a.m. (because she has no school tomorrow for parent-teacher conferences). She said, "Ok, then I'll stay there."
She did it for me.
My daughters mom and I are not together and it kills my daughter. It kills her because she doesn't like going back to her moms. All is legit over there it's just that the atmosphere is geared toward the aggressive and she is more passive. At my place it is just her and I. And she is basically my Mini Me. We are alike.
The numbness in her blank stare shows me how much this affects her. Some of the family knows this too, as they have seen signs in their own way. She does not like being away from me. But this is how it is. All I can do is guide her through this the best I can. I too was in a situation very close to this so I understand her.
My point is that candy and pretty dresses didn't buy this love from her. Do you think that if I was anything but sincere she wouldn't have been able to pick up on it (her whole life?)? Haven't you ever heard of kids being great judges of other people's characters?
I don't blame you because you didn't know I'm starting to wonder where I went wrong in this thread to make you think I wasn't even responsible enough to take care of a kid.