Mom and sister are heroin addicts... sister died two days ago I resuscitated her and she came back to life. House has no electric/hot water/food. Mom's house being foreclosed on, she may be able to save it, not sure. Trying to stay sane. Don't smoke/do drugs/rarely drink. I have no friends/no car. Mom I Lovebut she does not want me to succeed/be happy( I reason it's just because of her position in life right now). I see her and sisters good side in soul but this is to much for me to deal with. spent 6 weeks in Vegas March-April First 4 weeks crushed 1-3 for close to $50/hour for about 150 hours. Mom and sister didn't call/text me when I called started thinking one of them overdosed... Stressed and lost. Put all my remaining winnings/roll on Warriors win championship $6,500. I need to get out of my house. Do I rent a room upstate NY(from long island) with my disability check on 1st and put a lump sum payment Im getting of about $1,400 online? Do I rent a room in A/C and play with the $1,400 live (1/1 game at Bally's-not sure if it still runs?) Or do I stay home and save until Sept. 1st and have about a $2,500 bankroll to play with in A/C? Although, I really don't weant to stay home any longer. I appreciate your advice/opinions. Thank you.

You should stop playing poker. Gambling away your entire roll on sports is enough indication that you shouldn't trust yourself in a gambling environment. Pick a different career or go to college instead.

That was actually my first sports bet I ever made... don't play table games.. Figured id go back to school if one of these options doesn't work out.

I'm 31 y.o. have an associates... My thinking is if I'm successful, I'd buy a $40k house next year upstate NY by turning stone casino. Aspirations are to move up to $2/5 eventually, stay their and open a little business or something like that. If this doesn't work out I'd go back to school and might still buy a house soon(FHA loan) I don't know if I could take it anymore at my house but a $2,500 vs $1,400 roll is a big difference at 1/1. I'd have to stay home till Sept. 1st though... Just venting wondering what you guys would do... Thanks

It doesn't matter. You're underrolled for 1/1 (even with $2500). I'm very doubtful that you can really make a living at 1/3 anyway (your $50 hourly is running way above expectation). The fact that you gambled away your entire roll after a big win on a high variance minus-EV bet shows that you don't have the self-discipline to be a long-term professional gambler. Anyway, professional gambler, especially at low stakes, is not a good career to pursue.

If you want to move, find somewhere that has a growing economy, low unemployment and a low cost of living and move there (eg Texas or Utah) to find work. Alternatively, go back to school and get a degree in a field that has a lot of jobs available, such as programming or health services.

Original Position, I disagree... but, I thank you for the time you gave to me.

Prioritize stability - both mental and life stability. From there, you will improve your decision making ability.

Thanks Craig... those are my thoughts exactly. Building a proper base. But that's what I was wondering... do I leave my very unstable environment asap or stay a couple more months and build up a bigger roll. I'd have about 17 buy-ins of $150 for 1/2 which I feel pretty safe with, vs about 10 if I leave now. If I stay I could also try to leave my mom and sister in a more positive way, than just sort of abandoning them. I'm very stressed out, dude... but, thanks for the wise advice.

I'm guessing you've found yourself in this spot before, right, where you've wanted to improve the situation of your mom, sister, and yourself. Realize that the fact that you're back in this same position is because you failed in the past. Understand that your intentions and attempts to improve the situation are ultimately meaningless and all that matters is the result. Visualize what an acceptable result is for you and make the decision that is where you end up no matter what.

Instability and impulsiveness originate and arise from the body and then express outward toward thoughts, behaviors, and in our overall life circumstances. The most effective strategy is to confront it at the root in your body. You're going to want to practice habits that encourage both stability and being in tune with your body. Examples could be stretching, yoga, meditation, or even just walking while focusing on posture.

You want to spend as much time as you can with a stable mindset and feeling connected to your body. Even during downtime (watching tv, listening to music) you want to still focus on maintaining that mindset. Spend at least as much time building those habits as you are on autopilot. If you spend 3 hours playing poker and at the end you realize you were completely engrossed in it and not practicing stability, then spend at least the next three hours focusing on stability.

This stability doesn't come naturally, so you're going to have to access it and choose it over and over and over. Every second of every day from when you wake up until you go to sleep, you have to choose it. If you can't be bothered to choose it when the stakes are low, you won't able to access it when s**t hits the fan.

Your mom and sister don't want to be addicted to drugs at some level; they just feel powerless to overcome it. Don't try to communicate verbally about the issue, just lead by example. Your stability will make you non-reactive, persistent, and determined when faced with the pains and stresses of life.

At first, they may attack you because your example will threaten them as they slowly realize (through your example) that they are not as fragile and powerless as they thought. Anticipate this and prepare yourself for this through visualizations. Be non-judgmental, especially during their weakest moments, and don't allow yourself to protect yourself or feel sorry for yourself. This is a selfless act you are doing; don't seek equal treatment or validation for the sacrifices you are making.

Aim for perfection for yourself but lower your expectations for your mom and sister as low as possible. Prepare yourself for the worst by anticipating and pre-training yourself through visualizations. Absorb all the pain and stress; your mom and sister will be able to tell when you do and when you don't, and you will lose your ability to influence them when you don't. Similar to poker, trust the results will come in the long run if you execute the gameplan.

Thank you Craig... you put kind of what I was feeling into words. I want to and have failed in past to just lead by example and be calm and giving/patient. That's definitely how I would like to be... it really is very hard though, because my mom and sister(not as much as my mom-but to some degree) like you mentioned, do not want to see me this way. I need to re-focus my future and I... as I'm typing this (at library) I felt as if I was gaining a sense of power and focus back(stability) and when I did a women behind me coughed (evily) this happens to me all the time Craig... I can't really be around people because I am very aware of how my thoughts have affects on my environment and it makes me feel crazy... i go to the library and use the computer basically everyday and people when I start feeling distracted and than re-focus my mind(stability) will either make some type of movement, cough, or sniffle. Sometimes I feel as if everybody is super evil and tapped into my mind. Sounds like Im crazy but it doesn't really affect me to much, Im more so fascinated by it and keep it moving, but i do avoid people as best I can and much prefer being alone.(at least right now until I could get into a better spot in life-stronger) But anyway... I was saying I need to re-focus my future and that'll bring me a sense of calm so that when dealing with negativity, my vision isn't affected by it. I really appreciate what you said, Craig... Thank you.

Beware of confirmation bias. You can always convince yourself that an idea is a "good idea" by intentionally or unintentionally ignoring certain pieces of information.

Replace the word "good" with "wise" and try to look at yourself from the third person perspective.

Suppose you knew a guy who said "I put all my remaining roll on Warriors win championship $6,500." Would you look at him and say, "That was a wise decision"? (Ignoring the fact that we know the outcome.) On its face, that looks terribly unwise. I wouldn't trust that guy with any sort of gambling venture ever.

Well I disagree, simply because you have to look deeper into the situation. I was worried my mom or sister was going to overdose and die. My father over dosed and died when I was 12 and my sister overdosed last week, so I feel I had a very valid reason for my concern... as I couldn't get in touch with them. That was also my first sports bet I ever made and I don't gamble besides poker, also drug-free/non-smoker. I feel as if I'm pretty logical/level headed for the most part. I didn't know things would go from bad to worse and thought if I lost, since I am overweight by about a 100lbs I could lose weight, try to help them and save for another roll or go back to school if I wanted. I could see why you would think what your thinking though, if you didn't think deeper into my situation/know my perspective fully.

This is not the right way to think about it. Gambling is a very dangerous industry to work in because it gives you lots of opportunities and motivations to make personally damaging money choices. If you are considering it as a career, you have to be accurate in your self-evaluation as to whether you can avoid those choices.

Almost everyone, including those who end up not being able to, start out thinking that they can control their gambling. Thus, you should try to prioritize objective over subjective criteria in making this evaluation. And here the evidence is not good. The first time you had a big win in Vegas you decided to (1) play a new game, in which (2) you had no edge, and (3) bet your entire roll on one bet. Win or lose, that is a bad decision.

I understand that you had other non-gambling related pressures on your life that contributed to you making a poor decision. But two points:

1) You have to be able to not make these poor decisions even under stress. It is relatively easy to not make foolish gambling decisions when you are stress-free, but you have to also know that you won't make foolish decisions when you are under a lot of stress as well to be a long-term successful gambler.

2) The stresses that contributed to your decision have not gone away. Thus, your future gambling decisions will likely be placed under the same kinds of stress that you faced in your decision in Vegas.

Let me be clear about this. I've been playing poker for supplemental income for about 5 years, mostly play live 5-10 NLHE these days. I greatly enjoy poker and think I'm pretty good at it. But if I bet even half my bankroll on the Warriors, win or lose, I would quit poker as that would be sufficient demonstration that I shouldn't trust myself in a casino.

You might think that you will make a better decision in the future and not gamble away all of your money. Well, that future decision is best made right now. Walk away.

None of this addresses the wisdom of playing your whole roll on a single bet. Concerned or not, regular sports bettor or not, drug-free or not, none of these add to the logic of why it was a wise thing to do with your money.

You will *ALWAYS* be able to justify yourself to yourself. I don't intend to argue with you about your conclusion to convince you you're wrong. You will always win that argument in your head.

My conclusion is that I would never trust someone (edit: making a gambling decision) who would throw a $6500 bankroll into a single wager. I think all of the justifications make things worse. It adds to the narrative that you really can't be trusted with gambling.

I want to do this again, but be very, very explicit.

Here are your stated reasons:

(1) I was worried about my mom and my sister.
(2) I couldn't get in touch with them.
(3) This was the first sports bet I ever made.
(4) I'm a drug-free non-smoker.
(5) I didn't know the future.
(6) I'm overweight.

None of these points to the wisdom of placing your entire multi-thousand bankroll on a single bet. Since you did not act wisely here, I do not have any reason to trust your ability to reason through your other gambling decisions in a rational manner.

This is a plot twist I didn't see coming! 2010-me requests hand history analyses :P

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujLQiNB_R8Q

1:59

Good luck.

Edit: I know the chances of you changing your mind are very small, and you may respond very negatively to this, but I think I need to put it out there. I know someone who was/is a compulsive gambler. I know how much debt he got himself into. It's not as easy to climb out of that cycle as you think it is. The emotional gambling is bad, but the fact that it was a self-sabatoge wager (your whole roll on something you're betting for the first time) is incredibly scary.

You may not be willing to face this right now because of all of the other stressors you have, but if you find yourself in trouble a year or so down the line, I hope that the accusation of being a compulsive gambler rolls around in your head enough so that you choose to get help.

Do something to get your mother and sister help in some sort of facility and then get out of there. Don't put the pressure on yourself of believing that you're abandoning them. We are talking about 2 grown adults that have abandoned themselves and you have repeatedly attempted to help, each and every time they suck you down the drain with them. You can not help them from a position of being in the same sewer they're in. Don't fall into some trap that just bc they're family it's your responsibility...each person must take responsibility for their own lives. It's time for you to do exactly that, and if once you have built yourself up whole to a position in which they can not pull you back down into the muck with them, only then should you make another attempt to get them help if they're still around. From this position if they aren't you're now able to help others in the same way you weren't and aren't able to help them currently.

As for poker, no advice other than to do what you feel internally called to do. Good luck

"Follow your passion" is not good career advice.

I hang around here for a reason

I didn't offer any career advice, that was your own extrapolation of what I said. Going in the direction of what you feel internally pulled towards is an ever changing process, not a career...while ignoring your internal guidance and passion typically leaves you with a career devoted to maintaining the same consumerism machine that squashed your passion for nothing more than it's own survival. Happiness is it's own reward.

What about saying that it's terrible life advice? Addicts are internally called to do behaviors that are self-destructive. Following that is a very bad thing.

You should be more careful about what you say if you didn't intend to offer Spades47 career advice.

Everyone is doing what they are internally pulled towards, it's only a matter of what degree they're doing it to and what is feeding that machine.

Also calling someone an addict is laughable, everyone is an addict in some for or another. There are many addictions, some are acceptable in our society and others aren't.

People become addicted to:
Drugs
Alcohol
Gambling
Food
Sex
Exercise
Work
Money
Religion
Shopping
etc etc

I'm not convinced he's a gambling addict based simply on what he says. He said he only gambles on poker and that was his first sports bet. I'm quite convinced he's not a very good decision maker at this point in his life.

This post is not advising him to continue gambling but sitting around thinking you know what's best for him through your computer is laughable. He needs to learn to become a more rational decision maker and stop identifying with his emotions, that's the only thing that is totally apparent to me.