I read stories at night they are wrapped up in happiness and I mediate with my water cup in hand. Thoughts come and go. but happiness will be here soon.

Peace unfold at lung and air movement. State that will happen at moment of energy. Inner place and peace from centre.

Increased happiness will decrease suffering. Movement breath deep in lungs feel free and peaceful. Nothing attached to stories and thoughts just this moment.

Contentment and peace unfold from
that inner place into outer
manifestation. In and out but just this moment. Peace and air.

Life and energy. And being wrapped up in the thoughts and storylines
hinders that unfoldment and our
realizations of the One Source. You are the one Neo.

Simply having fellowship with like-minded believers in "Christ Jesus" should bring some comfort. If that isn't very likely to happen regularly, talking to/praying with Spirit-filled believers, even if it's simply on the phone, might help you find "G-d's direction" for your life. Remember Proverbs 3:5-6.

Love the Source.
For to Love the One is to Love YourSelf.
Breathe..
Infinite Magnitudes of Happiness is what We have Now..
Breathe..
The Suffering Succeeds in the Illusion of Fear..
Breathe..
"Fear Not little God", said One Sovereign King..
Breathe..
Breathe Together in Truth..
Breathe..
Breathe with the Breeze as We Are One.
Breathe..
Our Stories are Woven in Chambers of Light..
Breathe..
Darkness and Sorrow and Worry and Plight..
Breathe..
Rejoice in Your Pain..
Breathe..
the Message its saying is Open Your Eyes..
and Breathe..

I don't care to live much longer. You don't understand what it's like to be me. I've felt mistreated my whole life and bit by bit, almost every meaningful thing has been taken from me. I went from great wealth to Zilcho. Every aspect of my life is devastation. And my hope, the thing that keeps me in the game, is practically gone. Ignored and neglected by God. Pushed away from God every time I try to get close to him.

I can't even look forward to heaven. Joy and happiness is so foreign to me. Sometimes I feel that I won't even be allowed in heaven because of my bitterness towards God. Other times I feel like someone will sneak me in heaven's back door. Still, other times I picture getting to heaven and imagine God saying "Well, sorry, but it will all be over in ten minutes, better take it all in." If my mother was not alive, my hope would be to get a cancer death sentence. That's my only blessing, is that I'm not afraid to die. I look forward to death. Sure, dying would have it's emotional aspects, but I would be very happy, so I got that going for me.

I'm all for sorrow, but I feel very abused. God has his own meanings for how I'm being treated, not much comfort to me. Every time I have some relief, it goes, as fast as it had arrived. The rare times that something really good happens to me, it seemingly is always followed by a good swift kick in the buttocks. The slightest joy that I can have, through this major suffering is thinking about heaven. And it doesn't last long. It's barely enough anymore. I'm getting too old.

Put God first. I've done that. Follow God's commands. I've done that. Search for God with all my your heart. I've done that. Believe good things will happen. I've done that. I've done all of those things, far more and far longer than the majority of Christians, who have many blessings to show for it, but I have nothing.

The reason that I'm so angry is because my mother suffers very dearly as it relates to my failure to receive help from God and I begged God to help me, help me, help my mother during her last days on this earth and do whatever you want with me when she is gone, but I'm constantly denied. Teased by wonderful ideas and ambitious thoughts, my whole life, but useless in practice. All I find are thieves and liers to do business with and if that's not enough to create havoc in my life, then I will sabotage things myself, with my own feeble actions. I have no choice in anything.

I started to post at Christian forums. Here is my first response. I will post at a few Christian forums and post their initial reply in this thread, along with link.

You can follow the first discussion here.
http://www.christianforums.com/t7670988/#post60927273

My Post...

Receiving more contentment

What is God's view about happiness, joy, blessed, suffering and sorrow?
Will some people always suffer regardless of what they do?
How can we increase our contentment?
How to be a successful Christian?
What does God want for us?

Thank You!

Their Reply...

Isaiah 1.19
If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land

Malachi 3.11-13
Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the LORD of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need. I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your soil, and your vine in the field shall not fail to bear, says the LORD of hosts. Then all nations will call you blessed, for you will be a land of delight, says the LORD of hosts.

1 Tim 618-19
As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.

Almost all the Disciples died before evil men, so did Jesus. Jesus promised us we would be persecuted and that we would have trouble in this life. God also promised us that he would bless us with all that we need, richly, he said that if we walk in his ways we would be blessed and taken care of. Does that mean we will all be rich? No. Does that mean we will always have an easy life? No. Paul sure didn't he was shipwrecked, beaten, attacked by wild beasts, floated on wood stranded at sea...

But God does desire to bless us, he will rebuke the devourer and he will bless you if you follow in his words and believe it.
__________________
"A life touched by God always ends up touching others. If you are annoying them, that is probably just your pride."
Mark Mobley

That's so sad to hear, I feel much pity for you OP. Unfortunately, I haven't got much words of wisdom to part. It does sound like you have a clinical issue, and it would probably be smart to seek professional help.

One thing though; people's subconscious tends to warp one's reality to be more aligned with their perceptions of it. It's fairly evident in people that are very clumsy, when after some affirimation/hypnotizing therapy occurs that convinces them that they are no longer clumsy, that actually stop being clumsy, similar with placebos. Those Christians have it right; believe that sort of stuff, and there's now a big incentive for a lot of it's claims to be come true. Since such faithful optimistic perceptions have failed to deliver, there could be something more physiological going on.

And not trying to be a douche about it, but people like you are a fairly big piece of evidence against god... Many people have a idea that when they want to achieve something, that they must do x, but sometimes x is actually futile or even detrimental to one's success, but they believe that is what they need to do to succeed, so they continue x just go about it a bit more extremely, sounds like what you where doing. This sort of process is common in "nice guys".

Thank you for your thoughtful post and thanks to everyone. I'm hoping that I can have a testimonial for what someone can go through and then be brought out of it by God. I know that things can improve very quickly and I'm ready to start again each morning with Faith.

I know a person like the OP. Demands "magical" answers for their problems then pisses and shyts on each and every answer. pathetic individual. I don't even feel sorry for them, just disdain...or "dis stain"...get this person (this stain) away from me, they have nothing to offer me! Don't fall for their trap! If they aren't smart enough to come up with their own answers and instead ask God (lol) for answers only to find those problems not answered. Let em be dumb, miserable, and grumbling all of their life. People like this you just have to move away from, leave in the dust and forget about, before their bad, bad, bad attitudes threaten to leave a stain on your life as well.

Take some illicit drugs. Perhaps that will make you feel good and open up your mind to all that you've been missing. I don't care if you get hooked and die, at least you'll finally feel good for just a bit.

Become a hobo. Do nothing but hang out with other hobo's, take drugs, drink, **** ur pants. Ride a train for free across country. Feel the wind on your face, look at the country side scenery, see some wild animals.

If you don't have the guts for that, then move accross the country and start somewhere new. You should feel some sense of renewal, but judging from your earlier responses, you probably won't feel any satisfaction from that either.

Lastly, I'm glad I didn't write a post like yours. Sounds pathetic. Nobody cares. I don't care about you. Get a ****in life. Either way, stop whining. You whine a lot. . So go ahead, take illicit drugs and report your experiences on bluelight. Just please stop whining, you sound so ****ing boring and are frustrating to communicate with.

You are an emotional vampire. Nobody likes or wants to be around people who just shyt and pyss all over everthing. After reading your posts I feel drained. If you like to have that effect on people, then go ahead and keep on doing what you are doing. People will eventually just ignore you and forget about you and I have a feeling that you don't want that.

Think carefully and make a wish. Maybe might help your mother,



Nobody cares about your mother. Get over it.

Now have a cookie, I swear by the time you are done eating it you well feel better.

Slow down friend, I'll unsubscribe from your thread. I had taken many drugs in my earlier life and drugs are not the answer. I live and take care of my mother and I can't leave her alone and become a Hobo, as exotic, as that sounds. Sorry, but I'm not going through a good time in my life. If you don't like my thread, then leave. I'm looking for answers. And I have to be truthful to get real answers. My post here was the "Sugar Coated" version. I could tell you stories. I could care less about attention. Look at my post count.

I posted in your thread because you seemed unhappy. Your doing "synthesized happiness" and it didn't seem to be working for you. Sometimes you don't seem serious in your posts...

"Exactly that's what am hoping for, I spent all day walking around with a fake smile and my face really hurts I assumed that was happiness.

I hope the electric company understands not to stress out about me not paying and just to smile.

I will let you know what they say when the respond. Again thanks guys you really helped me out."

I have to come up with $244 today or my mother gets her medical canceled. $127 for car insurance on July 13 or canceled. Yeah, I owe the electric company too, $200 or shut off July 12. And I have $150 to cover all that.

You want to hear about some more problems? No? Then leave. I get by with God, you should try it sometime!

This is what I posted in your thread...

"Think carefully and make a wish." and "Did you figure out what wish you would ask for? What's the most important thing that you want in life?" With the Genie pic.

Why did I post that? Because I was trying to see what you wanted in life, to try and give you advice, related to your goals. I didn't rant in your thread.

Here is a site that people can raise money for their different ideas. I was going to give you the link, but you never answered my question, which I thought was a very good question that everyone should ask themselves. "What's the most important thing that you want in life?"

http://www.indiegogo.com/

I had some other ideas for you, but I've taken up enough of my precious time, already.

All the best PTL

I'm going to give you the same advice I was given, not my words okay?



I love your thread.

Excuse me? Excuse ****ing me?

I'm looking for answers as well did you assume I wasnt?, so is that why you posted that picture of that genie and told me to make a wish. Hey no problem, I just return the favour.

Let me make a camp fire and some marshmallows first............I tell you what I'll do I will give you the same advice I was given....

Assume I'm always serious. I'm not a funny guy TBH.
The advice I was given was told to smile, so what did you think I was going to do? Thats right sir, I smiled all day long, and I said my face hurt........whats wrong with that?

Again I was given the advice to "stress less and smile more" okay I will do that, I just hope the electric company feels the same way, because if they dont I want to KNOW why they dont.

Then make a ****ing wish Sir!

If you are in direct contact with God, then why oh why do you make threads/need help?

Yes, oh yes I did. Go back into that thread I told you what I want.

A little bit of advice unless you are a troll dont go around posting a genie pic, and telling people to make a wish, I mean dear GOD SIR? what did you think I was going to do, let you away with that, you cheeky ****ing bastard.

Actually more intelligent people tend to be more easily depressed.

Imagine how much more an intelligent person will focus on the future in a negative way.

Jesus Christ said to take one day at a time. Human beings, particularly intelligent people, like to get ahead of themselves anticipating and letting things bother them that might not even happen. Rather like preventive medicine. How many people today have to have this or that test based on family history. It doesn't mean history will repeat itself. But it does linger in the back of your mind keeping you worried about something you might not even have full control over. (You might have partial control over circumstances but nobody ever has full control.)

So why not let it go and give it over to God. No worries, be happy.

It occurred to me that this is a very important series of articles for you to read on this topic.

Notice the contents box on the right. Start with The Perfect Example of the Fruit of the Spirit: Jesus Christ.

Note it's fruit (singular). But the fruit has all these inner characteristics that make it good.

When you read the article I linked to it shows the progressive ordering of the Fruit of the Spirit. Also notice how interdependent these characteristics are.

http://www.ucg.org/christian-living/...-jesus-christ/

At some point when you get into the Spirit far enough you'll probably want to consider laying everything down to God. This is because there could be some area of your life that you're not aware of that is in conflict with God. A lot of people have these unconscious areas. But if you read the bible regularly you will start to be aware of them and you can make small incremental adjustments to bring your will into alignment with His. Just take it easy. Little daily steps unless you feel motivated to take a giant one. Rome wasn't built in a day and you're spirit isn't either.