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Old 08-09-2010, 04:01 AM   #1
rnb0sprnkles
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Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

So I was dating this girl for 11 months. Pretty cute. Mexican but not too Mexican (not trying to be racist). I was crazy for this girl.

We were in love and all that bs, but I knew that she would never truly accept me because I am atheist and shes a hardcore Christian. She had always wanted me to convert to Christianity, but it always failed. I tried going to church a couple of times with her to try it out, but I just couldn't accept that there was such a thing as God.

Other than the whole religion thing, our relationship was pretty good and I didn't think that there was anything wrong with it. We always had fun together, hanging out at the beach, going to the movies, etc. We hardly argued and maybe had 1 religious argument the whole 11 months we were together, but it wasn't that serious.

Today, she finally broke up with me. She just couldn't accept the fact that I did not hold the same religious believes as her. I guess the thought of me being atheist bothered her the whole time, but she had this thought in the back of her mind that told her that she could change me. Eventually, I guess she gave up on that notion.

I feel pretty bummed right now. I just don't understand why religion is such a big flippin deal. Enough to the point that its worth breaking up with someone over. Someone plz enlighten me, because i just don't understand why religion is so important.
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:09 AM   #2
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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Originally Posted by rnb0sprnkles View Post
I feel pretty bummed right now. I just don't understand why religion is such a big flippin deal. Enough to the point that its worth breaking up with someone over. Someone plz enlighten me, because i just don't understand why religion is so important.
What did she say when you asked her?
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:13 AM   #3
rnb0sprnkles
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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What did she say when you asked her?
Im guessing your talking about when I asked her why religion was so important. She couldn't explain it really well, but she basically said that she values God over everything. Its more important to her than her family, friends, bfs, etc. So as long as i could not accept God, the relationship wouldnt work out because it was soooo important to her. She never said why really.
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:19 AM   #4
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Is she Catholic?
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:22 AM   #5
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

F her op , if she can't accept you for who you are then you shouldn't be with her anyhow . She knew this from the start , so ask yourself why now all of a sudden it can't work ? She would have known that from the get go . There is more to it than the fact that you are not a christian .
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:37 AM   #6
rnb0sprnkles
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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F her op , if she can't accept you for who you are then you shouldn't be with her anyhow . She knew this from the start , so ask yourself why now all of a sudden it can't work ? She would have known that from the get go . There is more to it than the fact that you are not a christian .
Well the thing is, is that her older sister had a similar story. Her older sister was seriously dating this one dude for quite a while. Well the dude was Buddhist, and she wasn't too happy about that. She started bringing him to church with her and the dude finally converted to a Christian. They got married soon after and lived happily ever after. True story. Touching, right?

I guess my girlfriend was hoping the same thing happened with me. Eventually, she just gave up i guess. Funny i couldn't see the comparison of me to her brother-in-law until now. I know 100% she broke up with me because of religion.
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:38 AM   #7
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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Is she Catholic?
No she is not Catholic. Idk what type of Christian she is because its really complicated.
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:59 AM   #8
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

I would do anything for true love, even Pascal's wager.
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Old 08-09-2010, 05:18 AM   #9
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

if she doesn't want to be with you because you don't believe in god then she's an idiot and you deserve better. that may sound harsh, but this isn't exactly about some small problem like you constantly leaving the toilet seat up. She's basically saying that she can't love you unless you change your whole world view and turn into something you are not.
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Old 08-09-2010, 05:27 AM   #10
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Someone who dates a guy for 11 months before deciding one of his his core beliefs is not palatable is not healthy relationship material.

Now I sympathize that it may not FEEL that way, and that it probably hurts - but I'm quite certain what I am saying is very sensible.
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Old 08-09-2010, 06:07 AM   #11
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Ouch, know how you feel. If I created a thread along these lines, it'd be "Girl Won't Give me a Shot because I'm not Christian (enough)."

Well, it ain't worth it. No one should force himself to change his entire set of values and perception of reality for anything, least of all a girl.
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Old 08-09-2010, 06:23 AM   #12
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Seems she wanted to just convert you.

Which means you split because of her problems with the missionary position.
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Old 08-09-2010, 07:44 AM   #13
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Tell her Jesus wouldn't abandon someone for having reservations about faith. Quite the opposite, he would still love that person invariably.

It probably won't work but throw some reverse Christian logic at her in a dieing attempt to salvage the relationship.

If you're real desperate call her up and say you read some of The Bible, cite some verses that sound nice, say you'll reconsider your position and see if you can sell it. Then avoid religious debate the rest of your life.
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:15 AM   #14
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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Originally Posted by rnb0sprnkles View Post
No she is not Catholic. Idk what type of Christian she is because its really complicated.
Lets see, you know it means a ton to her and you couldn't even take the time to investigate what it is and now you wonder why she dumped you?

Ok.
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:24 AM   #15
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Yeah, she totally dumped him because he didn't know what denomination she was.

If it's "really complicated" he's probably asked and got a super weird complicated answer.
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:30 AM   #16
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Imagine the conflict you would have had with her if you'd gotten married and had kids. And that one wouldn't have been so easy to resolve. Just ending the relationship and walking away wouldn't have been a viable resolution. So if religion is really this important to her, and you aren't interested in converting to her religion, she did the right thing. A little late if it took her 11 months to figure this out (maybe the whole time she thought she could change you eventually), but better late than never.

Your worldview was incompatible with hers. She probably thinks that your unbelief will lead to you burning in hell for eternity after you die. Imagine spending your future with someone who thinks that about you. If that's her view (not sure that it is, but since you describe her as a "hardcore Christian" I'm guessing it is), it seems there are two ways it could go. Had you gotten married she could have either continued trying to convert you for the rest of your life, or else give up on you, where giving up would signify that she doesn't care about you anymore.

So why is religion such a "big flippin deal"? It isn't, unless you take it seriously like apparently she does, and then it's a very big deal. Nothing else could possibly be a bigger deal. We're talking about eternity here.

Last edited by EvilSteve; 08-09-2010 at 09:47 AM.
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Old 08-09-2010, 10:47 AM   #17
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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Imagine the conflict you would have had with her if you'd gotten married and had kids. And that one wouldn't have been so easy to resolve. Just ending the relationship and walking away wouldn't have been a viable resolution. So if religion is really this important to her, and you aren't interested in converting to her religion, she did the right thing. A little late if it took her 11 months to figure this out (maybe the whole time she thought she could change you eventually), but better late than never.

Your worldview was incompatible with hers. She probably thinks that your unbelief will lead to you burning in hell for eternity after you die. Imagine spending your future with someone who thinks that about you. If that's her view (not sure that it is, but since you describe her as a "hardcore Christian" I'm guessing it is), it seems there are two ways it could go. Had you gotten married she could have either continued trying to convert you for the rest of your life, or else give up on you, where giving up would signify that she doesn't care about you anymore.

So why is religion such a "big flippin deal"? It isn't, unless you take it seriously like apparently she does, and then it's a very big deal. Nothing else could possibly be a bigger deal. We're talking about eternity here.
I think EvilSteve hit the nail on the head. The religion issue is somewhat a side issue until the question of children hits the table. In her defence, it may have taken 11 months for her to realize that the relationship was serious enough that those questions could no longer be ignored. But either way, the issue is real.
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Old 08-09-2010, 11:17 AM   #18
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

as a friend IRL my best advice is to tell you to let it go

it sucks that you like her so much but someone who doesnt want to be on you and doesnt respect what you believe is not worth being in
it sounds as if it bothered her the whole time you were with her and she just tried to put it off but if she expected you to convert i just dont see her logic

beliefs are naturally a part of who an individual is. if she doesnt respect what you believe in then she doesnt respect you

you can try and talk it over but in this situation i think

leaving it as it > trying to convince her that she is wrong >>>> converting

is the case
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Old 08-09-2010, 12:05 PM   #19
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

I think pics are needed her to clarify whether OP should compromise the situation to get back in her pants or let it go

this goes for 100% of posts about girlfriends
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Old 08-09-2010, 12:14 PM   #20
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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I think pics are needed her to clarify whether OP should compromise the situation to get back in her pants or let it go

this goes for 100% of posts about girlfriends
If shes serious about her God than there should of been no pants getting into. But few are that serious.
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Old 08-09-2010, 12:57 PM   #21
rnb0sprnkles
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

No pics, sorry. This isnt BBV4l.
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Old 08-09-2010, 01:07 PM   #22
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

While im sure you're hurting, in situations like these i think its good to invoke the "at least (x) didnt happen"...sort of like evilsteve said. Think of the guy out there with three kids who just found out his wife was ****ing his best friend. Now im not saying you dont have a right to be upset and grieve for your loss, but a bit of perspective is needed to eaase the blow, imo.
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:10 PM   #23
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Getting dumped due to differing religious beliefs is just another one of the ways that religion makes life slightly more annoying day to day.
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:13 PM   #24
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

OP, this is a good thing. I married a girl who was devoutly Christian. Worst mistake of my life. It's great she realized you were incompatible and broke up with you...now go find a girl you actually have more in common with.
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:28 PM   #25
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Good for her
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