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Old 08-09-2010, 04:01 AM   #1
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Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

So I was dating this girl for 11 months. Pretty cute. Mexican but not too Mexican (not trying to be racist). I was crazy for this girl.

We were in love and all that bs, but I knew that she would never truly accept me because I am atheist and shes a hardcore Christian. She had always wanted me to convert to Christianity, but it always failed. I tried going to church a couple of times with her to try it out, but I just couldn't accept that there was such a thing as God.

Other than the whole religion thing, our relationship was pretty good and I didn't think that there was anything wrong with it. We always had fun together, hanging out at the beach, going to the movies, etc. We hardly argued and maybe had 1 religious argument the whole 11 months we were together, but it wasn't that serious.

Today, she finally broke up with me. She just couldn't accept the fact that I did not hold the same religious believes as her. I guess the thought of me being atheist bothered her the whole time, but she had this thought in the back of her mind that told her that she could change me. Eventually, I guess she gave up on that notion.

I feel pretty bummed right now. I just don't understand why religion is such a big flippin deal. Enough to the point that its worth breaking up with someone over. Someone plz enlighten me, because i just don't understand why religion is so important.
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:09 AM   #2
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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I feel pretty bummed right now. I just don't understand why religion is such a big flippin deal. Enough to the point that its worth breaking up with someone over. Someone plz enlighten me, because i just don't understand why religion is so important.
What did she say when you asked her?
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:13 AM   #3
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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What did she say when you asked her?
Im guessing your talking about when I asked her why religion was so important. She couldn't explain it really well, but she basically said that she values God over everything. Its more important to her than her family, friends, bfs, etc. So as long as i could not accept God, the relationship wouldnt work out because it was soooo important to her. She never said why really.
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:19 AM   #4
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Is she Catholic?
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:22 AM   #5
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

F her op , if she can't accept you for who you are then you shouldn't be with her anyhow . She knew this from the start , so ask yourself why now all of a sudden it can't work ? She would have known that from the get go . There is more to it than the fact that you are not a christian .
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:37 AM   #6
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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F her op , if she can't accept you for who you are then you shouldn't be with her anyhow . She knew this from the start , so ask yourself why now all of a sudden it can't work ? She would have known that from the get go . There is more to it than the fact that you are not a christian .
Well the thing is, is that her older sister had a similar story. Her older sister was seriously dating this one dude for quite a while. Well the dude was Buddhist, and she wasn't too happy about that. She started bringing him to church with her and the dude finally converted to a Christian. They got married soon after and lived happily ever after. True story. Touching, right?

I guess my girlfriend was hoping the same thing happened with me. Eventually, she just gave up i guess. Funny i couldn't see the comparison of me to her brother-in-law until now. I know 100% she broke up with me because of religion.
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:38 AM   #7
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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Is she Catholic?
No she is not Catholic. Idk what type of Christian she is because its really complicated.
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:59 AM   #8
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

I would do anything for true love, even Pascal's wager.
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Old 08-09-2010, 05:18 AM   #9
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

if she doesn't want to be with you because you don't believe in god then she's an idiot and you deserve better. that may sound harsh, but this isn't exactly about some small problem like you constantly leaving the toilet seat up. She's basically saying that she can't love you unless you change your whole world view and turn into something you are not.
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Old 08-09-2010, 05:27 AM   #10
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Someone who dates a guy for 11 months before deciding one of his his core beliefs is not palatable is not healthy relationship material.

Now I sympathize that it may not FEEL that way, and that it probably hurts - but I'm quite certain what I am saying is very sensible.
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Old 08-09-2010, 06:07 AM   #11
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Ouch, know how you feel. If I created a thread along these lines, it'd be "Girl Won't Give me a Shot because I'm not Christian (enough)."

Well, it ain't worth it. No one should force himself to change his entire set of values and perception of reality for anything, least of all a girl.
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Old 08-09-2010, 06:23 AM   #12
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Seems she wanted to just convert you.

Which means you split because of her problems with the missionary position.
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Old 08-09-2010, 07:44 AM   #13
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Tell her Jesus wouldn't abandon someone for having reservations about faith. Quite the opposite, he would still love that person invariably.

It probably won't work but throw some reverse Christian logic at her in a dieing attempt to salvage the relationship.

If you're real desperate call her up and say you read some of The Bible, cite some verses that sound nice, say you'll reconsider your position and see if you can sell it. Then avoid religious debate the rest of your life.
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:15 AM   #14
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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No she is not Catholic. Idk what type of Christian she is because its really complicated.
Lets see, you know it means a ton to her and you couldn't even take the time to investigate what it is and now you wonder why she dumped you?

Ok.
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:24 AM   #15
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Yeah, she totally dumped him because he didn't know what denomination she was.

If it's "really complicated" he's probably asked and got a super weird complicated answer.
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:30 AM   #16
 
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Imagine the conflict you would have had with her if you'd gotten married and had kids. And that one wouldn't have been so easy to resolve. Just ending the relationship and walking away wouldn't have been a viable resolution. So if religion is really this important to her, and you aren't interested in converting to her religion, she did the right thing. A little late if it took her 11 months to figure this out (maybe the whole time she thought she could change you eventually), but better late than never.

Your worldview was incompatible with hers. She probably thinks that your unbelief will lead to you burning in hell for eternity after you die. Imagine spending your future with someone who thinks that about you. If that's her view (not sure that it is, but since you describe her as a "hardcore Christian" I'm guessing it is), it seems there are two ways it could go. Had you gotten married she could have either continued trying to convert you for the rest of your life, or else give up on you, where giving up would signify that she doesn't care about you anymore.

So why is religion such a "big flippin deal"? It isn't, unless you take it seriously like apparently she does, and then it's a very big deal. Nothing else could possibly be a bigger deal. We're talking about eternity here.

Last edited by EvilSteve; 08-09-2010 at 09:47 AM.
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Old 08-09-2010, 10:47 AM   #17
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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Imagine the conflict you would have had with her if you'd gotten married and had kids. And that one wouldn't have been so easy to resolve. Just ending the relationship and walking away wouldn't have been a viable resolution. So if religion is really this important to her, and you aren't interested in converting to her religion, she did the right thing. A little late if it took her 11 months to figure this out (maybe the whole time she thought she could change you eventually), but better late than never.

Your worldview was incompatible with hers. She probably thinks that your unbelief will lead to you burning in hell for eternity after you die. Imagine spending your future with someone who thinks that about you. If that's her view (not sure that it is, but since you describe her as a "hardcore Christian" I'm guessing it is), it seems there are two ways it could go. Had you gotten married she could have either continued trying to convert you for the rest of your life, or else give up on you, where giving up would signify that she doesn't care about you anymore.

So why is religion such a "big flippin deal"? It isn't, unless you take it seriously like apparently she does, and then it's a very big deal. Nothing else could possibly be a bigger deal. We're talking about eternity here.
I think EvilSteve hit the nail on the head. The religion issue is somewhat a side issue until the question of children hits the table. In her defence, it may have taken 11 months for her to realize that the relationship was serious enough that those questions could no longer be ignored. But either way, the issue is real.
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Old 08-09-2010, 11:17 AM   #18
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

as a friend IRL my best advice is to tell you to let it go

it sucks that you like her so much but someone who doesnt want to be on you and doesnt respect what you believe is not worth being in
it sounds as if it bothered her the whole time you were with her and she just tried to put it off but if she expected you to convert i just dont see her logic

beliefs are naturally a part of who an individual is. if she doesnt respect what you believe in then she doesnt respect you

you can try and talk it over but in this situation i think

leaving it as it > trying to convince her that she is wrong >>>> converting

is the case
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Old 08-09-2010, 12:05 PM   #19
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

I think pics are needed her to clarify whether OP should compromise the situation to get back in her pants or let it go

this goes for 100% of posts about girlfriends
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Old 08-09-2010, 12:14 PM   #20
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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I think pics are needed her to clarify whether OP should compromise the situation to get back in her pants or let it go

this goes for 100% of posts about girlfriends
If shes serious about her God than there should of been no pants getting into. But few are that serious.
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Old 08-09-2010, 12:57 PM   #21
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

No pics, sorry. This isnt BBV4l.
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Old 08-09-2010, 01:07 PM   #22
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

While im sure you're hurting, in situations like these i think its good to invoke the "at least (x) didnt happen"...sort of like evilsteve said. Think of the guy out there with three kids who just found out his wife was ****ing his best friend. Now im not saying you dont have a right to be upset and grieve for your loss, but a bit of perspective is needed to eaase the blow, imo.
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:10 PM   #23
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Getting dumped due to differing religious beliefs is just another one of the ways that religion makes life slightly more annoying day to day.
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:13 PM   #24
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

OP, this is a good thing. I married a girl who was devoutly Christian. Worst mistake of my life. It's great she realized you were incompatible and broke up with you...now go find a girl you actually have more in common with.
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:28 PM   #25
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Good for her
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:35 PM   #26
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Call INS on her. That'll show her.
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:39 PM   #27
 
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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Call INS on her. That'll show her.
She's Mexican, but not too Mexican.
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:45 PM   #28
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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Good for her
Care to elaborate on this plz?
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:47 PM   #29
 
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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OP, this is a good thing. I married a girl who was devoutly Christian. Worst mistake of my life. It's great she realized you were incompatible and broke up with you...now go find a girl you actually have more in common with.
And his experience is chronicled in the Lounge. Here's some reading material for you, OP. If nothing else it may take your mind off your own situation for a while.

Got hitched this weekend
Dramabomb!
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:48 PM   #30
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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She's Mexican, but not too Mexican.
What does "not too Mexican" mean? Is it like "Tex-Mex"?
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:50 PM   #31
 
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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What does "not too Mexican" mean? Is it like "Tex-Mex"?
Not sure, it was OP's phrase.
She speaks English?
She has blue eyes?
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:54 PM   #32
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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What does "not too Mexican" mean?
Americanized, the 21st century equivalent of Sanforized.
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:58 PM   #33
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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I feel pretty bummed right now. I just don't understand why religion is such a big flippin deal. Enough to the point that its worth breaking up with someone over. Someone plz enlighten me, because i just don't understand why religion is so important.
If God exists, religion is the most important thing in the world.

I agree with others, it's probably best for both of you that this happened, though it may not feel like it now. Eventually you'll find someone with the same world-view as you or find a Christian who isn't so 'hardcore. Or heck, you may even end up converting.
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Old 08-09-2010, 03:05 PM   #34
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

ask yourself if someone who would leave you over this is the sort of person you want to be with
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Old 08-09-2010, 03:06 PM   #35
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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I feel pretty bummed right now. I just don't understand why religion is such a big flippin deal. Enough to the point that its worth breaking up with someone over. Someone plz enlighten me, because i just don't understand why religion is so important.
The river card was great for you. Cheer up, you won!!!
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Old 08-09-2010, 03:32 PM   #36
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

c*ck blocked by God
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Old 08-09-2010, 03:43 PM   #37
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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Americanized, the 21st century equivalent of Sanforized.
This.

Thanks 2p2 for all your responses. Theres some really good advice in here and the links were helpful. Im glad you guys could helpl me in a time of need.
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Old 08-09-2010, 03:47 PM   #38
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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Good for her
**** you. That was a complete *******ish statement to make.
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:31 PM   #39
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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Care to elaborate on this plz?
Not really...but OK


Why would a person want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't hold the most precious values as they do. This goes for atheist also.

Can't imagine an atheist wanting to be in a long term relationship with someone who went to church 3 times a week and hung out with only Christians.

She at lease saw this early on.... there's plenty of heathens out there for the non-believers to shack up with without trying to nail down a good Christian.

OH ! ! See what I did there?
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:41 PM   #40
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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Why would a person want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't hold the most precious values as they do.
there are varying degrees of how "christian" people are. someone may want to be in a relationship w/someone of a different or opposing faith b/c they derive more happiness from being with said person than from practicing a religion (or not practicing one). besides saying "good for her" is callous and a straight up dick move. very christ like
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:44 PM   #41
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Did everyone in here get their humor glands removed?

Geeesshhh.

Melchy...shame on you.

Tarheel... you shut your mouth when you talk to me!
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:58 PM   #42
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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Not really...but OK


Why would a person want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't hold the most precious values as they do. This goes for atheist also.

Can't imagine an atheist wanting to be in a long term relationship with someone who went to church 3 times a week and hung out with only Christians.

She at lease saw this early on.... there's plenty of heathens out there for the non-believers to shack up with without trying to nail down a good Christian.

OH ! ! See what I did there?
Umm because religious beliefs isn't everything? I knew she was Christian going into the relationship, but I didn't judge her because of it or have any animosity because of it. Religious beliefs just isn't that high on my list of qualities when looking for a significant other. Apparently it was for her in the end which I didn't understand at the time, and I probably don't truly understand now.
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Old 08-09-2010, 05:00 PM   #43
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

It's apparently "that high" on her list though
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Old 08-09-2010, 05:12 PM   #44
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

op chicks say the stupidest **** when they leave you all excuses there real motives are seldom spoken you probably were a poker playing loser that posts on 2 plus 2 all day
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Old 08-09-2010, 05:16 PM   #45
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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op chicks say the stupidest **** when they leave you all excuses there real motives are seldom spoken you probably were a poker playing loser that posts on 2 plus 2 all day
Apparently you havent read anything I have posted ITT. TY for ur awesome post.
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Old 08-09-2010, 07:40 PM   #46
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

Some people get really attached to ideas. The truth, as best as I've been able to find, is that we live in a world of uncertainty and impermanence. Some people become very afraid of this and attempt to explain it to make themselves feel better.

I figure there's basically 2 reasons she acted as she did, I suspect both played a part.

1) She thought her family, friends, church, etc. would judge her for being with an atheist.

2) Because of her fear of uncertainty, being around (and loving) someone that did not believe as she did was a constant prodding of her faith. Whether you actively challenged her or not, your mere presence was a reminder to her that not everyone believes as she does. Whereas, I guess that most of the rest of the important people in her life reinforce her beliefs.

Ultimately, I believe the only reason she could have done what she did, was fear. The fear or being judged by her family/friends/church and/or the fear of having her faith challenged (even passively by your presence.)
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Old 08-09-2010, 11:33 PM   #47
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

The girl is a moron, just like any other moron who lets religion trump 'love', good riddance and let her go enjoy her missionary sex life
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Old 08-10-2010, 11:39 AM   #48
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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The girl is a moron, just like any other moron who lets religion trump 'love', good riddance and let her go enjoy her missionary sex life
LOL @ 'love' > principles.
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Old 08-13-2010, 12:21 PM   #49
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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Care to elaborate on this plz?
The Bible says to not be unequally yoked. So a girl who has a relationship with Jesus marrying someone who is not a follower of Christ would be a big mistake. She needs a leader that is listening to the Holy Spirit. So even Dating someone who isnt a Christian is wouldn't be smart because the point of dating is working toward Marriage so theres no point in entertaining the idea.
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Old 08-13-2010, 12:31 PM   #50
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Re: Girlfriend broke up with me because I am not Christian

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there are varying degrees of how "christian" people are. someone may want to be in a relationship w/someone of a different or opposing faith b/c they derive more happiness from being with said person than from practicing a religion (or not practicing one). besides saying "good for her" is callous and a straight up dick move. very christ like
and she obviously wasnt one of those "christians".

The fact is there arent different degrees of Christians. There are people who have a relationship with Jesus and people who say their a christian but strictly only have religion.
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