great TR...word of advice...slim guys should not talk to fat girls...they look at you as an appetizer...

Been a while since last update, but pics help me remember. My last night in town was pretty fun. After I woke up from a short nap around 6pm, other than some half assed nodding off on the plane, I didnt sleep for the next 40 hours plus. This would be a crazy and fun night. 1 of maybe 15 things that happened on this night would be the highlight of any weekend at home. A longtime female friend and I went to Gordon Ramsay steak. Circus Circus used to be my fav, now this is. Beef Wellington is his signature dish, for two its only $100. Sides extra of course but I cant finish the steak anyways so screw the $18 mac and cheese. The bread is phenomenal and I dont like bread. Potato puree on the side. Was very full, but still got dessert cause its that good, forgot what its called but it has butter flavored ice cream with it that looks like a stick of butter. I only give this much detail about dinner cause it was that good and not that expensive. Recommended







That food put me in the dirt, coulda passed out but not on my last night. She wanted to play poker at PH (which I love) I was on a personal mission to finish qualifying for diamond this year so I was playing Black jack in high limit simultaneously. I have been told not to show my card when playing poker cause it will mess up my per hour trip average when I play black jack and it looks bad to the casino host. Heard conflicting stories on this, any info appreciated. Minimal poker buy in, have just as much fun, drinks just as good. (as long as they dont screw you over with burnetts or some other crap vodka)



I wanted to play b jack with a full table to help the mission of getting to diamond easier, taking up more time per hand. Playing by myself I usually get massacred and quickly with not many tier credits earned. There was a crowded table and I wanted to play on it but no seats available. My buddy that works there said there was a celebrity playing. Something Malone, I started looking for a basketball player but all the people were white. I sat at an adjoining table and this dude sits at same time so I started to play. The guy I was playing with had a horrible attitude. Mad when he lost, mad when he won. I would walk over to poker table here and there, cut up with those folks, going back and forth between tables, it was fun. I had poker seat closest to high limit and a seat where the go go dancers were easily visible. My fav dancer wasnt there ☹ but I see a local I know, Matteo or something like that staring hard at a dancer that looked like Sofia Vergara, she looked better than a paycheck on Friday.

Side story... last trip the dude named Matteo.... I call him Mattel like the toy company. He never says a word unless a tourist sucks out on him then he will go ape****. Last time I saw him at Wynn he stormed out cussing a "stupid fish" the whole way out. Otherwise, completely calm guy listening to his headphones. I always tell him hes so stingy the only way he would let loose of a dollar is to get a better grip on it. Last trip he was staring a hole through my fav dancer and I said dam man, you gotta tip her for that, he nervously stopped looking. I gave him a red chip and said go give it to her man. He just looked at me over and over, took baby steps over to her, gave her the chip with a nervous grin on him. I give Mattell a lot of hell but he is a good sport about it, he's the man. Derailed by todays consumption of adderall, sorry

I ended up giving Sofia Vergara some chips, successfully lobbied for others at table to do so, she was happy. I am very glad they moved the poker room over there.

Went back to b jack, the guy with the bad attitude was complaining when I walked up and the table that was full earlier had one person at it, celebrity was gone. I switched to that table. Broke about even, pounding the vodka. After a while the celebrity came back with about 6 people with him, his parents and some girls. He asked if he could jump in and introduced his self, Post Malone. He's a young, white rapper. I haven't listened to rap music since 1997, had no idea who he was. I was catching a buzz and decided to abandon any plans of sleeping my last night in town. I get up to go to the room to take an addy but had ordered a drink that hadn't arrived. The girls with Malone weren't playing, just sitting next to me so I asked a girl to hand the waitress a red chip when the drink got there. Malone said leave her your phone number along with that chip, kinda like a dare. I said of course, I have a better chance of hitting a jackpot on a slot in the next 5 mins than her ever calling me but doing that is cheaper than a slot. I wrote # on a note telling her she is pretty, signing it Diamond slim with a smiley face. I was trying to find two quarters to leave with the note, 50cents instead of 5$ to be funny but didnt have time to get em cause I had to pee bad. The table got a real kick out of that, I think they enjoy people watching like I do.

Went back to the room, paused before I took the addy, knowing taking it was essentially going to effect my health (not sleeping) and my finances one way or another by being up, gambling in some form all night. However though, I did want to stay up and have fun so I took it. (disclaimer: I do not advise using drugs for recreational purposes, seriously) The Soul Glo t shirt I had worn days ago had been good luck so I threw it on again for the last night. I returned to b jack table, the waitress had just dropped off my drink. Malone and his crew were laughing as I hollered at the waitress who was still close by. I told her I was just joking with the note.... unless she wanted to call. She said Slim, how many hookers have you given that number to this week? Apparently I knew her but just from times when I was hammered and didnt remember things well. I cut up with Malone quite a bit. A dude asked who the tattoos were on his hands, they were pretty cool, I got a pic of em



PH plays music videos on their big screens, and as I was talking to Malone, dagon if he didnt show up on the big screen. I said dam man thats you aint it? Has to be, aint nobody else that ugly. He looked at the screen, laughed, had a sense of humor similar to mine. I liked him a lot, he was a good guy. My female friend left poker and came to where I was at. She lives there and usually has a lot more self control than I do. She wanted to play one hand and the table min was 100. I said oh dear, you have been drinking. She wound up running 100 to 800. She doesn't gamble like that and I could see the alcohol and excitement taking over during that run. Tried to get her to stop but she wasn't having it. I always say if you learn from mistakes I should be a dam genius... Well I knew if she sat there long enough she was gonna lose it all back and be miserable from being at 800 then to nothing. I am not wealthy, but just don't appreciate my own money like I should when I am in Vegas. I do however have appreciation for a friend's and I was trying my best to get her to quit, it was driving me nuts. Finally I just grabbed her chips. Needless to say she wasn't very compliant in leaving. I had some Aria chips I needed to cash before I left so we headed that way.

That's awesome mate. What a cool guy!

good TR bach

B

great update; thats some really detailed ink on his fingers

Pimp C??-Dimebag Darrell-John Bonham??-Lennon-SRV-Cobain-Elvis

I was having a quiet night, surfing rather than grinding, drinking peppermint tea. Found this thread. By end of page one I'd opened a beer, you have me feeling it. Great read, tx bro. And I hope I stay sober enough to remember the "do it on the floor" line

Thanks for all the compliments. I'm finally getting around to finishing this.
I wish I wore a gopro in Vegas to help remember it all. At that point from the addy and vodka I was wound up to say the least. My friend kept taking all these snapchat videos of me acting up. I dont understand the big deal about snapchat, I would love to see the vids now but they expire for some reason, maybe a good thing.... I am very sociable to everyone when I get to drinkin to say the least. I like to think I am always nice to nice people, but I know I can be assholish to *******s and hookers walking by. As we walked into the Crystals shop area there was a very ghetto looking black girl, obvious hooker, all up on a guy that looked whiter and nerdier than me. I think when I walked by em I said loudly and quickly... 500 for a blow job with condom, 1000 for full service along with toting privileges of anything not in the safe.. kept walking swiftly as she yelled Fock you *****!!! I said something like, well that would fall under full service wouldn't it? I have a gambling problem, cant afford the grand. I think she yelled fock you tall skinny mutha fuka and was iller than a hornet. It was hilarious. Harassing hookers is definitely a guilty pleasure. I have been cussed, threatened many times, even spat on once. a lot of spit too. I could write a blog about all that crap by itself. One day I will finish the thread I started a while back covering all my past trips and the monumental verbal frays with hookers.

Got to Aria, I think we went to the bar for a minute, wound up at poker room. We both sat at the same table and it was library quiet. The only thing I saw anyone drinking was water or tea. I like most of the staff there a lot and out of respect to them, I decided I needed to leave before they feel they have to ask me to leave, as I was very drunk. Had some friends calling wanting to meet at Cosmo but my friend was doing well at poker, had serious gambling fever and wouldnt budge. She had been drinking some and I felt bad about leaving but I had a poker room employee thats a good friend look out for her. Met friends that work at PH at the Cosmo. I do this often with some PH friends when they get off work. I am jealous of folks that get done with their shift, be able to be at so many nice bars instantly. We hung at the new sports bar at Cosmo, really nice place. After a while I see this very beautiful girl who greatly resembles someone I know from home. She was with a bunch of dudes from N Zealand but I spoke to her anyways, when she told me she had just met all them dudes, I told my friends... I'm here man. Hung with that crowd for a while. The girl was really nice looking and I had just gotten this fancy new phone so I drunkedly tried the new video camera out to film her in her daisy duke shorts. Them dudes hadn't known her long but one guy kept acting like her step dad or something. You can see in the video link, he caught me getting my perv on, sum *****.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sj6lxZHXVgI

Short video, didnt catch it all but he asked are you filming us Jimmy? I tried to just ignore him but he kept asking so I said I aint filming your ass, I was trying this new camera out filming her, but you gotta ruin that for me just like everything else, are you the sheriff of the fun police or something? I continued to give him hell cause he was acting like Dad all night. I cant stand somebody that tries to be all valiant and chivalrous in front of girl he hardly knows. The girl thought it was funny, she had a great sense of humor and laughed with me a lot, man was she pretty. The sun was coming up, found my buddy from PH, went back over there.



My memory is really hazy at this point. I know I went back to high limit room and was drunk enough to double down an 8, addied up enough to get a pic of it.


It lost of course.
I honestly believe that when I am drinking I am very gracious tipper, not trying to sound like a philanthropist or nothing, but I tip too much when I am drunk. However I can not stand the idea of pooled tips where someone mean makes just as much as someone cool. I understand why they have to do it in the pits, but I still don't like it. I asked the the employees in high limit, in lieu of my stingy tips would they like breakfast from earl of sandwiches? Of course they said yeah.



At some point I felt something in my back pocket, it was the Aria chips that I forgot to cash in earlier. In my drunkened mind they were now destined for greatness. Took a sloppy pic



I am remembering all this by looking through my pics and now I see a ton of pics with a very beautiful waitress. I won't blast her name on here or anything but she is really nice. I have known her a long time, good friend. I am always humorously parading her with compliments that some would consider stalkish but she knows I am harmless. She is a good sport about it and I have a lot of fun with her. I told her I was gonna play some dumbass, sucker game slots just to get drinks from her. I know its wrong not to post a pic here, but can't do her like that.
Just yesterday a friend that lives in Vegas was texting, saying come on back. I said it might be a little while. He then sends me a video of him and my favorite waitress (looking fine enough to be on the cover of Cosmopolitan) saying hey. I started checking on flights after that......

Another longtime female friend met up with me while I was playing slots. Earlier she had went and got my friend from Aria poker and she was passed out in the room. We went up to the room to aggravate her and I almost passed out then. They mentioned going to breakfast, I just wanted to pass out, but being my last night I said screw it, may have popped some addy, drank some more poison.

Earlier in the trip I had achieved Platinum on the MGM card, allowing access to sky suites lounge. I insisted we go there, grab the free juice and coffee rather than paying 7 dollars each at Aria cafe. I have been blowing, giving away money left and right, but I paid too much for those free beverages not to claim em. Sat there a minute, it was nice.



Thought eating at the cafe would be the biggest thrill for the rest of this trip but fate had something else in store. On the way from there to Aria cafe , we pass by the high limit room. I notice Ray Allen's buddy that I had played with 5 or 6 nights ago. The guy who lost $5,800 taking the action to split my 8s the previous week (I think I noted that in this TR, not sure) I went in there and hollered at him. I was still pretty drunk, cut up with him and some employees a minute. I said I was planning to cash in these Aria chips I have been toting all night but I'm gonna come back and we are gonna take every chip in that dealer tray. Went on to Aria cafe, I always end every trip eating here or Cafe Bellagio. It was good, sobered me up.




I may have taken prescribed amphetamines, guzzled vodka, and slept a few hours a night for a solid week but I hedged by getting the turkey bacon and egg whites


I went back to play black jack with my buddy, bought in with 7 purple chips I had. Ended up playing 2 hours or more, mostly 500 a hand kicking up to 1k or more sometimes. Ran the 3500 to 9k, the goal was 10 and leave. 9k was as high I was gonna get, lost it all and said well, I'm done. Sat and talked for a bit more with the basketball player, he was an awesome guy, we had constantly talked about the night a week ago. He was the one who had alerted me about that con artist girl who had plans to swipe my chips off the table. We talked about that night and I kept telling him I was sorry I got him into that hand where he lost the $5800. He was real cool about it all. After a while I said I just can't end the trip like that. Pulled 2k out, didnt last long, lost it. I had went from going to cash in those 7 purple chips to losing them and another 2k. I was gonna have to leave on a bad note. Sat there long enough, just had to play one more. Pulled out 1500, all in, hit black jack. Played again for 1500, lost. All in for 2200, won. With all the circumstances of me and the other player's previous joint black hand included, this next hand would be one I will never forget.
2200 again, got dealt 6,6 vs dealer 5. My buddy at 3rd base was dealt 20. I split, dealt another 6. Didn't have the money to split again. My buddy, said hold up. I said aw hell, here we go again. He hadnt played crazy big, mostly 300-500 a hand. I said you sure you wanna try this again? He said heck yeah. Yet another 6, he splits again. End up with 9 on 1st hand, I only had a 100 left, said double for less. My buddy says once again... hold up, stakes 2100 to double the rest. End up with 16. Next 6 gets a 5 for 11, homes wont stopping then, double down. I kept saying holy shiit I hope you don't lose on me again. Not only was I gonna be personally defeated, I would feel horrible for him losing by me again. A ton of different colored chips are on the table, 17,600 total. We both stand up, he is close to 7 feet. He's grabbing my shoulder tensely as the dealer plays out. I told dealer, please do this slowly. I know that part of the dealer had to want us to lose instead of having the nightmare of figuring this joint payout if we win. Dealer showing 5, hole card is 10, here we go.... flips over another 10. There aren't many thrills I can recall that top seeing that 10 dealt out. We were happy, it was awesome. I break my phone out to take pic and say it for the dealer, no pictures please... I'm just texting I say. Got a short vid too as dealer is trying to figure it out. We were excited.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrbfHCiS4TQ


Eventually I realized that if he hadn't split those hands for me, dealer woulda hit a 6 for 21. Thanked him for that



He wanted to keep playing, I said that hand has to be the final hand of this trip. He decided to quit too, got a pic of each of our cashouts.






In all I wound up 2k to the good that session. It was around 1pm. Tried to get quick nap, wasnt happening.
Put a little on the Falcons as I was leaving.





Flight was delayed a bit. Sat there and thought about what a great night it was. A lot of things happened I didn't write or cant remember, it was crazy to say the least. I never counted up to see how I finished financially for the entire trip. Had such a good time I really didnt care. I may have finished close to even or lost a thousand or two gambling. I tipped a ton this trip so its hard to tell. Regardless, that last hand was a 9k swing. I was buzzing off that and the great time I had with friends that night, the whole trip. Even after that crazy, sleep deprived week, and a very battered body I hate leaving. Not even so much the partying and all, but I will really miss all the great people out there. Til next time





Not long after I got home, I went shopping at BJs. After chunking out so many $100 tips and whatnot, I go to clip the coupons they have up front. They have a good one for Perrier this month so I am going through several coupon books, getting a few. I'm cutting up with a cool employee when this very bitter woman that has worked there forever walks by and gives me shiit. "you messin up MY coupon books again? I just kinda laugh and she walks on. As I keep getting Perrier coupons she bitches some more saying "look, you can't mess up all MY coupon books" I said are you really gonna give me this much crap over a water coupon ? Look at that long ass line out there, instead of helping that you are policing the coupon books? We got into it, her coworker was trying hard to keep from laughing. It was kinda heated, but really funny. As I walk away with the coupons I am just shaking my head at myself when I think about all the money I had given a way in Vegas and there I was fighting with a witch over some coupons. Degen life


Disclaimer: I seriously do not want to glorify drinking and whatnot on a forum like this. Most of the worst nights of my life happened to me because of drinking. I rarely drink at home, Vegas is obviously different

You're a legend. Loving this ****. Thanks.

I thought it was an awesome TR, even before that last update. Even Better! Thanks for sharing!

LMAO love the coupon porn

You ****ing legend hahaha siiick

Amazing doesn't remotely do this justice.

EPIC TR!

A+ Thanks for tr.

we need some votes to get this to a 5 star thread; it is definitely deserving!

hehe epic, I am surprised I have not run into you in Vegas lol

Just getting to this amazing TR lol.the irony of the falcon bets

Haha, thanks for the props. I may be cutting my life short by years, but at least its an entertaining read. I forgot to mention after the big black jack hand, my buddy said that Aria puts on this "charity" golf tournament every year. Ray Allen won it, got 25k for his charity. That single black jack hand was a bigger swing than the top prize.... even 5 days later, and thats just us low rollers compared to many whales that come for the golf. Aria makes a killin off their charity tourney

Just finally finished this one up. That above is probably my favorite line in any TR ever.

rofl at complimenting fat girl on hair and her saying hitting on her. Read the rest really great stuff.