Exactly what I thought.

Karma

it sounds like maybe you've had some poor service from employees and mediocre food, but nothing else is a real complaint.

Valets do not do car washes, most (almost all, and especially the nice ones) casino hotels do not have free wifi in the rooms, it's hard to get cell phone reception 35 stories up in the middle of a huge building filled with steel and concrete, the crosswalk/traffic thing is your fault for not knowing your way around (and you could've definitely asked for the best way to go) and no grape vodka? really?

I have some friends that got suites there for a bachelor party. They are baller suites, and they were inexpensive. There's really nothing to complain about.

Oh wait, no grape vodka? I'm taking my business elsewhere. I hear Imperial Palace has grape flavored EVERYTHING!

grape flavored AIDS on the toilet seats, iirc

people not familiar with DC itt

somebody that, even after 10k posts, can't find a way to be funny?

I mean I know he's a good investor and I am happy that he contributes in BFI, but this is an absurd OP.

DC:

Sorry to hear that your stay at Cosmo (and this thread) was a big bag of fail.


Its been mentioned before, but allow me to Cliffs-it for ya.

1) The hotel lobby is the main entrance for automobile travel only, you cannot easily walk to Aria from this location.

2) Cosmo is one of the only casinos in Vegas where WiFi is free in the entire hotel. Its free on the casino floor, free in the hotel rooms, and even free on the roof deck (although the signal is weak there)

3) Every highrise needs to be "tuned" by the mobile carriers once they open and they know what to expect with the traffic. This is standard for all the new casinos in Vegas and new highrises in NYC too, within 6 months to a year the problem gets fixed but the mobile provider usually.

4) Your wife has the right to drink grape vodka if she likes it. In turn people have the right to laugh at her for expecting it. Its not exactly a high-demand alcohol. I, however, will just laugh at her for liking Grape Vodka. Thanks for the chuckle!

5) Getting yelled at in a friendly way is part of the culture of playing craps if your a newbie. Go play somewhere else to experience the same treatment.

6) If you walk into a restaurant with a DJ, you should expect it to be loud.

7) Most bars in a casino will have the same alcohol options, give or take. Its the same company using the same product buyers to get bulk discounts after all....

In closing -
If Cosmo sucks, then I must like sucky places a lot.

If you can't have a good time at Cosmopolitan you should just give up completely.

Only if you can provide grape vodka. I played the 40 mix today.

so far this may seem to be a collection of minor nits, but remember, it aspires to be a luxury hotel, and I'm spending a thousand dollars for two nights and my time is important to me. im too busy ballin right now to finish, but my summary is going to be it's very pretty, but poorly designed and staffed.

and no wifi means no wifi, not no free wifi.

and Hunter S Thompson wished he had a convertible as nice as mine.

The design is fine, your lack of navigation skills is your own problem.

I will say that many areas of the Cosmo suck for customer service though.

Good adivice itt.

Yesterday I took a walk from Bellagio -> Vdara and onwards to Aria (which I aborted) and tried to go to into the Cosmopolitan. I failed as well.

I ended up at street level on Harmon and walked on the back of Cosmopolitan (in close proximity to where the monorail passes overhead).

Then I had to turn the corner and passed where all the Cosmopolitan employees have there smokes. Did not want to venture pass the Jockey Club so I took a side door into the Bellagio parking lot and back into Bellagio.

Accessibility in the is area is an F!!!

Yep it was planned that you don't walk around but sit next to a slot and pull the lever ad nauseum.

Cosmo might suck but certainly not for the reasons you've listed here.

I don't believe this at all.

I believe all the rooms have soaking tubs and decks...lol.

We stayed there shortly after it opened, and it was kind of a nightmare. They had a lot of technical problems, to say the least. The worst part was that the heat didn't work in the living room for the first night, and most of the second day. The whole interactive room thing failed, which led to no telephone, and feeling like we were trapped in the Overlook Hotel. The worst part of the no heat situation is that it was the day it snowed in Vegas, so yeah, it was kind of cold.

The upside was that they did a make good for us, which we used over Valentine's Day. That stay went very smoothly. At points customer service was completely a let down, but if you're looking for a uniquely nice place to stay, at a relatively reasonable value, I would recommend it.

Since you had a such a long drive that required your car to have a car wash aftewards; why wasn't your wife reading a craps book on the way there?

the saddest thing about this thread is not that the op was so absurd... it's that it's lasted 44 posts and not been locked.

i dont care what a desert cat is, but i know it's something that has no room to make a moronic thread in lvl. some of us are true to the form (read: forum), and only post about las vegas relevance.

if you are serious about not getting a car wash, that is hilarious. I went to target the other day and can't believe they didn't provide a happy ending.

grape vodka is for 13 year old females, and all the girls i attempt to bang. It should be banned from the world.

to sum it up... gee tee eff oh

/close thread

DC-

It's OK to play the 40 mix while drunk. The same can be said for blackjack and craps. It is not, however, a good idea to post an on-going, on-the-fly TR in that same state of mind. (Although I will acknowledge the non-zero chance that you're leveling us with this teenage-esque composition.)

My suggestion is that you abandon this nonsense and put those exceptional writing skills on display that those of us who know you have come to appreciate. Now sober up and "get 'er done."

Also, DC's wife is anything but neurotic and there's plenty of room for a threesome when she's in the tub.

lol forum cops

Sorry folks, but this was hilarious. Some of DC's best stuff can be found in the LC/NC threads of MSLHE.

Does he mean grape flavoured vodka or vodka distilled from grapes? (ie ciroc)

Things I learned from this thread:

1. Don't walk to Cosmopolitan
2. There's such a thing as grape vodka
3. TT has a huge crushola on Cosmopolitan (apologies if TT works there or something)
4. I might one day stay at Cosmopolitan, esp. if $20 at check-in can get me a view of B fountains + deck + tub (but no grape vodka)