Hi everyone so I am alive, not gonna lie I crashed and burned on that trip nearly 2 years ago, I had set aside a good amount as a bankroll and pretty much lost most of it within that month and honestly I remember very little because I was so high on a mix of weed Xanax and alcohol almost the entire trip. It wasn't a large amount I lost, just under 20k, but clearly I wasn't able to handle Vegas that well. I Came back to Salt Lake City to lick my wounds, family tried to force me to do rehab. I actually stayed in rehab about 3 weeks in the fall of 2015 but said screw this I do not want sobriety.

So yea I haven't stayed sober at all but at least I don't have any further DUIs, I still don't even have a car I ride the train/bus everywhere I need to go. As of now I drink about 9-12 oz of hard booze like gin per day which is actually quite controlled when you think about it and I haven't once gone over 12 ounces since May of last year. I have sworn off the benzos, I haven't touched one single totem pole of Xanax since early 2016 when I overdosed and almost died because of it. So here it is I am bored. As far as real estate investing goes I do okay, I own a few properties in the Salt Lake metro area and I generate about 5,000k income per month after my expenses. I have a property management company run the properties for me I just have to shell out money when repairs need to be made. Any how I think now that combined with my retirement money and this steady source of income I am ready for another Vegas trip. I am hoping to go out there sometime in May and stay as long as the ride lasts. I just watched rounders again and was like you know what I gotta give it another shot this time I will be mostly sober as I will not allow myself more than 8 standard drinks in a day and will only smoke weed after my sessions are finished. I figure on staying in an extended stay hotel most likely the candlewood on paradise and flamingo. It would be about $1900 a month if I book early enough as in pretty soon. So I figure 1900 to rent, maybe 500-1000 to feed myself, and then the rest of that 5k a month goes to poker playing on top of a bankroll I will allot myself which I choose not to disclose the exact amount but it will be over 10k. Now I kind of want to do a test drive. I am thinking of going to Wendover on the weekends to play poker to kinda wet my beak. Over thanksgiving I played in a home game for the first time in almost a year and I felt alive again. The bonus is the round trip to Wendover on the shuttle is only like $20. I was thinking of starting next weekend. Will anyone be in Wendover? It is a quaint little town on the Nevada Utah border. only 90 mins west of salt lake. Ironically I actually got my first DUI driving back from there. Anyhow I figured if I don't do well at the tables in Wendover maybe Vegas wasn't meant to be. I almost died a couple times but I am still here and I think my purpose is to play poker and smoke weed and go through life buzzed so the mood swings aren't so intense. If anyone is going to Wendover HMU I will pay for gas

wow.. here we go again... gl tho

My favorite quotes.

Hey Man,

You are not alone. I did a month in Vegas grinding, found myself really killing my opportunity to put in sober hours, only played sober hours, mostly. First night in, after driving all day, drank, played ... it went badly. Not like $20k badly but ... I too have some form of mental illness, and I understand how you can have highs and lows. I give big props to guys like pokermonk that are willing to talk about mental health, which is very important in poker. That sick mind, can be a double edged sword.

Found myself, in Vegas, (sample size) paid my bills grinding for 3 weeks, car needed work I couldn't do where I was. Be a big chunk, to pay a mechanic for all the problems, work I could do, and have done since then, but I needed to be home. So, I limped home.

Look, I understand about self medication and everything, but do you have a physical addiction to alchohol? Like, if you went one week would you have a physical reaction? That's addiction, that's physical addiction. I make sure to go days, sometimes weeks at a time without any alchohol. I binge drink. I never drink less than a 12 pack, and then I go on the internet and post stupid ****.

So, I pretty much confirmed what I already knew. I could grind 1/2 games and make a profit. Really ran pretty average, and I have played enough to know what running good and bad feels like, so I think I can quantify it a little better.

Yah know, my mental illness is still somewhat undefined, but just not drinking alchohol, like I said I might go 10 days without a beer, does wonders for my psyche. That was pretty much what I figured was, I could keep paying $1k a month at the Royale, grinding, if I quit drinking.

There have been further ventures into the not drinking thing, trying to exercise, eat better, be healthier. I turned 47 recently. I have arthritis already. Sucks. Your effort is often unrewarded, people want to take your money, that's poker, and it's not fun all the time. I already knew that. I'm pretty much out of the game today. I was profitable in 2016 ... but ****ty hourly. 1/2 sucks. Too much rake. 130ish sessions, 16 in Vegas. Profitable this year too, just really your hourly is gonna suck, over time unless you move up. I have better things to do with my time.

I dunno, I never filed my taxes as a pro, so ... that may be another story ... but my advice, from a guy with similar issues is ... work on getting longer and longer times inbetween when you drink, or if you want less and less each day. Alcohol is temporary solution to a long term problem. It's way -EV over time. I still smoke cigarettes, so who the hell am I to talk, and I still drink, but I can take it or leave it. I'll start right now, one week, no alchohol. But I am not physically addicted to it, like I am nicotine. Auit smoking for a week, I can't do that. But there ar challenges,,there are things you can do to be healthier which will help you be happier. Eat or drink some yogurt, every day, is something I have been doing. Of course, not playing poker. Not for real, anyway. Table selection, over time ... and room selection ... when to play where, is gonna be huge in Vegas. Literally will make or break you, game selection, being healthy and sober. Those 3 things are all like required,,or you will eventually mess it up.

I also loled at "I think my purpose in life is just to remain buzzed" ... I hear you brother, but ... yah know ... that's a difficult thing to manage, long term. If you stick tto weed and beer, yah know ... you'll be OK. I won't even drink wine anymore, hard liquor, even if I mix it, and I realize it's the same thing, just sayin ... I stick to beer. Hard stuff, every day ... Not good. You know it too. Start with some limits, like just beer and just after 5 PM, stuff like that.

Eta: Meditation, mindfullness, setting goals, positive visulaization can't hurt, right?

This thread makes me want to go out and get blasted.

having a bourbon myself and reminiscing about all the other non-alcohol stuff I used to do when I was young(er) and dumb(er)

So things have actually been going quite well, never once have I gone over 9 standard drinks in a 24 hour period the last couple months which is good, I believe weed is now legal in Nevada which makes things even better. So I have made a couple trips to Wendover and done fairly well even when being high or whatever. I have made 3 trips out there on the fun bus and overall have profited. I have a target arrival date in Vegas of May 1. So whats the scoop on getting some good dank down there? Also does anyone know of a place near the strip that is close to public transit that rents rooms for cheap? I think for my first month I will still rent at the candlewood but I need to find something cheaper as I do not wish to spend a lot on uber/lyft fares. I refuse to use cabs as they try to rape you price wise on a regular basis. I think this time I have a real shot at making this trip actually last and not blowing a bunch of money too quickly. The good thing is I have my rental properties as backup in case I lose some serious dough.

Good to see you're alive. I have met and played with many bi-polar poker players before, which is why I believe your story. One of them has two pitbull support dogs that play at the table with him, one sitting at his feet and the other in a seat next to him. He rambles for 30 seconds every single hand before looking at his cards. Everyone is afraid of telling him to hurry the **** up because they think he will send his dogs after them. I get a table change every time he comes to my table.

Just drop 5 of Zyprexa in every drink you take and you'll be ok.

Zyprexa is evil ass **** I have been prescribed it before and never again. It makes you gain weight. Meds and the pharmaceutical companies are straight evil. The side effects are horrible and they turn you into a damn zombie. Weed is my medicine. I wanted to go play some poke today but I forgot it's Easter so the bus out there probably isn't even running. Does anyone out there know of where I can rent a room? I don't really want to rent an apartment because I have no clue how long I will be in Vegas.

How has that weed been working out or you?

Has anyone ever met the OP yet?